we all fall down (4/5)

[itachibana13]

He was back in the same room, only this time, there was a significantly lower amount of people here. "Fight #7, please enter the deck."

He didn't need anyone help this time. No one had bothered to come, except for Soojung, who didn't try to help him anyway. He got up silently and opened the glass door, clenching his fists. His mind was a whirl of thoughts. It wasn't fair to hate Soonkyu for killing Joonmyun - they were all just trying to get out alive. But the death of Wu Fan was infecting his mind and making his skin crawl with anger. Wu Fan, Kris. The death of his best friend ever since he entered this competition.

He remembered the blood gushing from Joonmyun's head. Part of it wasn't even intact on his body anymore. He remembered the blood dripping from Wu Fan's torso from the sword Yuri stuck through.

Seohyun waited for him at the beginning of the metal hallway. The walk this time was silent, Jongin seething in anger next to her. No, it wasn't fair to hate Soonkyu for killing Joonmyun.

She was just unlucky.

"Did you make any friends?" Jongin asked Seohyun suddenly. "Being a robot and all."

Seohyun's facial expression didn't change, nor her voice. "I tried to avoid it," she said. "But it's hard when you're all put in the same situation and forced to deal."

"Did you have to kill any of your friends?"

"My best," Seohyun admitted. "In the final round. She put up a good fight, though."

A sudden thought struck him. "If you were in the tournament, you should have a power. What's your power?"

Seohyun smiled. "If you can get out of this fight alive, I'll let you know."

Jongin cracked his knuckles. "That's a promise, then."

Seohyun's watch beeped, and she regained her professional posture. "The other party is ready," she announced, and Jongin understood why she chose to describe herself as a robot. "Please follow me to the gates."

The walk was silent. None of them needed to say anything, and as Seohyun took her place at the side of the gate, Jongin felt the tension gathering in his arms and chest again, spreading to the rest of his body. He really needed to punch something.

"Metal gate opening, please stand clear."

As the metal gate opened, light filled the hallway, and Kai looked through the metal bars to see the stadium landscape.

It was a grassy field, light green with a few patches of dirt, and for a brief moment, Jongin almost thought he was home. "Main gate opening in three, two, one."

Jongin was thrust back into reality as he watched the bars rise up into the ceiling. He could make out the blonde of Soonkyu's hair from the other side of the arena, and anger filled him once more, burning up his core. He started to walk out of the hallway before the gate reached the ceiling, and the crowd cheered.

Kai, they chanted. Kai, the Machine.

Soonkyu took her time to come onto the field, and even then, she looked tiny and nervous, eyes flickering in random directions. He wondered how much of that was an act.

The buzzer rang, and she immediately lunged forward with her arm stretched outwards. He teleported behind her and kicked, but she had seen that coming, and grabbed his leg. She swung him around and threw him into the stadium wall, but he disappeared again before impact.

He landed next to Soonkyu's gate and picked a chain off of the wall, spinning it in his hands. For a moment he wondered why he was even bothering with half of the tactics his mind was thinking up. All he really had to do was grab a weapon, teleport near her, and get her in the heart. It was that simple.

And yet he wanted to toy around. He wanted to watch her crumble, wanted her to go down the same way he'd seen his friends go down. Slowly, mercilessly.

Soonkyu was coming closer to him, and he cracked one of the chains like a whip. She stepped out of the way, but he cracked the other one and managed to get the chain wrapped around her arm. Quickly, he dropped the other chain and grabbed the nearest weapon on the wall right in time before Soonkyu pulled on the chain and he's pulled towards her.

The weapon turned out to be a hammer, but it isn't much use when Soonkyu has super strength, so Jongin just throws the hammer at her head and teleports away.

Soonkyu may not have super speed like Hyoyeon, but she was still quick and flexible, so she dodged all of the numerous weapons Jongin decided to throttle at her, before she finally lost her temper and stomped on the ground.

The shockwave threw Jongin off of his feet, and he hit his head pretty hard on the wall before groaning and getting back onto his feet. Something wet dripped down the side of his face, and before he could touch it to find out what it was, Soonkyu stomped on the ground again, and Jongin's back hit the wall of the stadium.

A few of the weaponed poked at his back; Jongin hissed in pain and teleported away.

He reformed behind Soonkyu and grabbed the back of her head. He tried to twist it, but Soonkyu elbowed him in the stomach.

Jongin barely felt his back hitting his wall, rocks and weapons fell on top of him. His head felt dizzy, lungs in desperate need of air. His stomach burned, and he had to fight back the feeling of vomiting. He had to get out of here. Soonkyu had throttled him into the wall, forming a large crater, with Jongin as the epicenter. She was making his way over to him, and despite the pain searing through his body, despite the throbbing in his head, despite the acid welling its way up his throat, he felt an overwhelming sensation of anger. Anger for Wu Fan, anger for Soojung, anger for Sehun.

He'd finish the game right now. It took most of his stamina, but he grabbed a mace that landed next to him and teleported behind Soonkyu, just out of arm's reach. By the time Soonkyu had turned around to face him, he thrust his arm in and smashed her head.

The crowd gasped, silence trickling through as Jongin stood above the bashed in head of Soonkyu.

There was no way she could be alive. He could see the cracked skull and blood pooling around his boots. He kicked her once more, in the stomach, just to make sure. She didn't budge. Then once more, just to quell his anger. And again, and again, and again, until he had to tear himself away from her.

The crowd was still awfully silent, and for the first time, it bothered him. If they, of all people, could be shocked at his actions, what level did that put him at?

The buzzer rang, and suddenly the silence was gone. There was cheering from everywhere, all sides, and he recognized the chant: Kai. Kai, the Machine.

He screamed until a medical assistant ushered him out of the stadium.

Jongin was at a lost.

He had won his match, had gotten to live for a few more days before he was situated at Satan's doorstep again, but Soojung was supposed to be fighting Lu Han in two days, and there was no way he could pick one of them. They were both the only friends he had left. Regardless of who won, he'd be down one friend because of the other.

Jongin told as much to Soojung when he came across her in the training room. He agreed to help her work out and even teased her a bit as she insisted on bench pressing. "But you're a girl, do girly things," he said, and she responded by firmly kicking him in the stomach. "Okay, sorry," he wheezed out.

"You better be," she snapped. "I'm a girl, therefore anything I do is girly and you have no right tell me otherwise."

Jongin shrugged in agreement and watched her continue to bench press in silence. He brought up a chair next to her and stared at the rise and fall of her chest.

"I can't choose," he told Soojung weakly. "I'm sorry."

There was a brief pause where the bar remained suspended in air, but she put it back onto the stand and sat up. "I understand," she said quietly. "I mean, I don't want to. I want to be selfish and want you to choose me, because we're friends and friends do that, but he's also a friend. He's my friend, too."

Jongin gave a faint smile and hung his head low. "I won't be able to handle it," he confessed. "I can't handle much anymore. I killed Joonmyun. I killed Joonmyun, and I killed Wu Fan, and now I'm going to have to watch either you or Lu Han die and I just can't do it."

"I like you don't mention anyone you've actually killed."

Jongin gave her a pitiful glance, and she tried to smile reassuringly. "I don't know why I'm saying this," he said. "I should be listening to you."

"I wasn't saying anything," Soojung replied.

"You should," Jongin stated. "Please."

There was a long pause. The air felt cold and suppressing. Jongin could hear his own heart beating in his ribcage. Soojung still hadn't moved an inch, and he was considering apologizing when she finally spoke up. "I'm going to kill him," she whispered. "I want to go home. I want go to the beach again and know what it feels like to be waist deep in ocean water. I want to eat spaghetti and ice cream, and most of all, I want to see my sister again." Jongin hadn't even noticed she was crying. A overwhelming feeling of guilt flashed through his mind, and he quickly got up from his chair and sat in front of Soojung on the bench. "My sister's waiting for me."

Jongin pulled her into a hug and wasn't surprised when she didn't respond. It was so unfair, he thought. He should have never made friends. He should've been like Yuri, who kept herself distanced from everyone, always. He wished Yixing had killed him, way back in the first round.

"It's so loud in your head," she repeated.

"Stop making me think so much," Jongin whispered and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. He held her until she stopped crying.

Lu Han was flipping through the channels the next day when he was walking by the main room. "You really like watching TV, don't you?" Jongin asked from the hallway. Lu Han jumped, then turned to see Jongin and sighed.

"You surprised me," he gasped. He patted the spot on the sofa next to him, and Jongin took his offer and sat next to him, pulling one leg up to his chest. He turned the sound on the TV down a little. "I've never had one before," he said. "I've never had much, really. Not until I started looting people out of their money. But even then, enough to eat. You get what I mean, right?"

Jongin nodded, even though he didn't. It was amazing how often he forgot how lucky he was. Earth was in shambles and falling apart around him, but he lived in his own bubble with Sehun, popping in and out of his life with the blink of an eye. Sehun was talented, but Sehun was also lucky.

"It's distracting," Lu Han said, bringing Jongin out of his thoughts. He gestured to the screen. "Helps me forget where I am and why I'm here." He pointed to a couple fighting on the screen. "You see those two? They aren't even real people."

Jongin blinked. "What are they, dolls? They look real."

"They're... animated. Or, I think that's the word they use. My proctor told me about them. He said they have these programs, and they make fake people, and they act. They entertain."

"Distracting," Jongin muttered, understanding. "I guess that's the appeal of the Penalty Game. Real people, and all that." Lu Han switched the channel to some reruns of previous battles. They winced as Soonkyu's head was once again blown in.

"Do you think you're going to win?" Lu Han asked.

Jongin shrugged. "I have to."

Lu Han pursed his lips and tapped Jongin's foot with his own. "You always say that. It almost makes me believe that you have to."

"Because I do," Jongin said firmly. "I made a promise." He nudged Lu Han's foot, prompting a small game of footsie. "What about you?"

"I never promised, and I've never really been confident," Lu Han said, licking his lips. "But I want to see my parents."

Jongin smiled. "All the best to us, then."

"All the best."

Jongin was walking back to his room to go to sleep when he heard a sound two doors down from his. Everyone was usually sleeping around this hour, and Jongin, not used to having any sort of set sleeping schedule from time zone jumping back on earth, tiptoed a little closer. Room number nine was Soojung's, and the only other person still alive that she'd care about was him or Lu Han, and Lu Han was a difficult situation.

He managed to hover in front of Yixing's old room for a bit until he could finally make out words.

"I'm sorry," someone said, probably Soojung, because her voice was a bit high, but also sharp.

"No, I get it," the other voice said - Lu Han. "Fair match tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Soojung replied. "An equal chance to go home."

Lu Han laughed, and it sounded hollow from where Jongin was listening. "If this was any other situation, I can promise this would've ended differently."

Jongin quickly made his way back to his own room before he could hear the rest.

This time, he knew that even if he didn't want to watch the fight between Lu Han and Soojung, he wouldn't have been able to make him get up and leave. He sat by himself in the main room, this time. As the battles continued, less and less people had watched, and it had gotten to the point that, with only four of them around, no one bothered anymore. Half of them probably hadn't even bothered to watch his fight against Soonkyu.

The buzzer had rang, and in no time Lu Han had managed to levitate multiple weapons around the arena. Soojung barely glanced at them - she had her eyes set on Lu Han, and for a second, he could register slight pain in Lu Han's facial expression.

Lu Han laughed. "Your pain won't work on me, because there's nothing worse than facing you, right here, in this tournament."

The look on Soojung's face must have matched the one on Jongin's because he could practically feel the gears in his brain turning. Oh, he thought. Oh, he realized, frozen.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of metal and jerked his head up to see Soojung nearly avoid getting hit by a scythe and a mace, which knocked against each other.

This was definitely a fight that was out of Soojung's reach, and he could feel the anxiety building as he watched on. This was why Soojung kept going to the training room, even though no one did. This battle was completely out of her skill zone, and her only hope was to try and maneuver through all of Lu Han's tactics.

It looked like a game of cat chases mouse from where Jongin was watching. Lu Han would throw objects at her, and she would try to dodge. He could see what Soojung was doing, though. She knew which objects were going to attack her and when, and slowly, she advanced a little bit more towards Lu Han.

There was a cut on her leg, and a scratch on her face - she was moving more slowly, exhausted from jumping from place to place. Lu Han kept his expression well guarded, giving nothing away, and it occurred to Jongin then that they were probably talking to each other.

They'd probably been mentally talking to each other the moment they stepped into the arena.

There was a hiss, then a curse, then the image of Soojung grabbing a knife and trying to pull it out of her hip. She rolled over when the next object came flying and groaned when the knife finally came out.

Lu Han had moved away from her, to the other side of the stadium, leaving Soojung in the center. Jongin paused then ,oh, checkmate.

Jongin's breath hitched in his throat. No.

It was taking Lu Han some obvious effort, but he had managed to levitate every single weapon in the arena. Soojung didn't bother looking around. She knew she was trapped.

No.

She closed her eyes.

No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. This wasn't how anything was supposed to end.

"Goodbye, Lu Han."

Jongin screamed. He screamed and screamed and screamed until his voice was hoarse and there was a slight ringing in his head and a feeling that he was going to retch any second now.

Her body was unrecognizable. A giant mess of metal and blood and objects sticking out of her from all different directions. The camera panned to Lu Han's face: he looked exhausted, and angry, and he didn't give a buzzer a chance to ring before he was already walking out of the arena.

He felt his hands shaking, and then his legs, and his eyes were going in and out of focus because shit he was just so, so angry. Soojung was dead. Joonmyun was dead and Wu Fan was dead and now, now Soojung was dead and there was no one for him.

He stood up. Jongin didn't even know where he was going until he found himself struggling with the doorknob.

"Where are you going?" someone asked from the doorway, and Jongin turned his head to see Amber standing in the hallway. She flinched at the sight of him, then narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Don't get in my way," Jongin growled, and opened the door.

"But what are you doing?"

He ignored her, already have way down the hall before he suddenly stopped and remembered he could teleport. Jongin put a hand on the wall to steady himself and took a deep breath. Then he was gone.

Lu Han was leaving the stadium when Jongin teleported right outside of it. Lu Han stared at him, unsure of what to make of his appearance. Jongin snarled at him, and Lu Han immediately shifted his position to a fighter's stance.

Jongin tackled him, pinning him to the wall with his hands at his neck, strangling him. "You killed her!" Jongin screamed. "You killed Soojung!"

Lu Han gasped for breath and faintly smacked his shoulder. "What was I supposed to do?" he spat back. "Stand there and let her kill me?" Jongin tightened his hold on Lu Han's neck and shoved him deeper into the wall. Lu Han groaned, and Jongin could feel multiple hands at his back, trying to pull him off of Lu Han. "What," Lu Han taunted, "you in love with her or something?"

"She was my friend!" he shouted. "My best friend! Wu Fan is gone, and now Soojung is gone! Let go of me!"

"Then what the hell am I?" Lu Han yelled back. Jongin paused for a second, grip loosening, and Lu Han swung his fist at him, getting him in the jaw. He grabbed Jongin's collar and tugged, hard. "If I died, were you going to strangle her?"

Jongin felt his body go stiff, first in anger, but then he realized he couldn’t move his body at all. His hands were pinned to his side, and he panicked, not knowing what was happening. He tried to move his legs, but they wouldn't budge. He looked at Lu Han, but something happened to him, too. His face had gone blank, void of any emotion, and his back slumped against the wall, sliding towards the floor.

A familiar voice spoke from behind him. "Break it up or we'll execute you both."

He sighed in relief when he was able to move his body again, and turned around to see Seohyun and someone else - a man with brown hair and slightly tanned skin. He wore a black dress shirt and pants, and looked at both of them with a blank expression.

"Kyuhyun," Lu Han said from beside him, suddenly on his feet. "What was that?"

"My power," he replied, and beckoned Lu Han to follow him. They walked away, with Lu Han turning around one more time to look back at him with an indescribable expression. Jongin felt his stomach churn; he felt weak, exposed, vulnerable, and most of all, guilty.

"Are you going to follow me?" Seohyun asked, and Jongin looked the other way to see her motioning him over. He jogged until he was next to her and then slowed down, feet dragging along the floor clumsily.

They weren't heading in the direction of the competitor's housing. She was walking down a dimly lit road that looked almost deserted. "Where are you taking me?"

"You haven't been to any places on this satellite," she said. "I'm going to show you what space coffee tastes like."

"Are you allowed to do that? You're my proctor."

"I'm off duty," she replied and opened a door.

"Seohyun!" a voice greeted her. It was a tall woman with short black hair and long legs. "What are you doing here at this ti-" Her voice trailed off as she saw Jongin follow in behind Seohyun.

"Later, Sooyoung. Also, two coffees, please." They sat at a wooden table somewhere in the middle of the cafe. The whole cafe looked old fashioned, like they picked it up off of earth and dumped it onto a satellite. It looked out of place, wood among all of the aluminum and steel bars. "Remind you of earth, doesn't it?" Seohyun asked. Jongin nodded blankly, feeling more pleasant and at home than he had in a long time. "Sooyoung and I are from earth."

"You didn't go home?"

Seohyun shrugged. "I had no home. At Half-Point Victory, I didn't take the interview deal. I went straight for the gold and cash, to secure myself a place here." She paused for a moment, then crossed her legs. "I saw the interviews. Your Sehun is very nice."

Jongin blinked, a bit taken aback. "Sehun? He's not really, uh, mine."

She shrugged. "You'll change your mind."

Jongin shifted uncomfortably and changed the subject. "Back then, when I was with Lu Han, I couldn't move. Was that your power?"

"Body control," Seohyun confessed, and smiled when Sooyoung put down two cups and a large kettle, along with some . "Kyuhyun's power is draining energy."

Jongin nodded understandingly. That would explain Lu Han's body suddenly going limp. "Is he also a winner?"

"No, just a volunteer. He was asked to be a proctor, actually, since his gift is so useful when dealing with these types of things."

"How many of you are winners?"

Seohyun frowned for a second. "There's a few living, but only three that are in this tournament. I'm a winner, Eeteuk - Lay's proctor - won the tournament before mine, and Krystal's proctor is Kangta. He won about eighteen years ago."

Jongin nodded. "How old were you back then?"

Seohyun poured herself a cup of coffee, then grabbed the can of milk. "Fifteen."

"Jesus."

She looked at him curiously. "You still say that stuff on earth?"

"Say what?"

"Jesus Christ, holy crap, oh my God. Religious things. They're unheard of here."

Jongin sat forward in his chair and poured himself coffee as well. "Why?"

She took a sip. "Religion is hope of a better life. Religion is for wondering what will happen to you after you leave, wondering what your life was worth. There's no need for hope here. People indulge themselves in luxury, and they really have no cares. It’s a good life, but also pretty empty. So maybe not good at all."

"You recognize this because you're not from here," Jongin stated.

Seohyun nodded and took a sip. "Do you believe?"

He shrugged. "I'm not very good at it." He took a sip of coffee and coughed, slamming the cup back down. "It tastes horrible."

She lips quirked up at him in amusement. "Do you normally drink your coffee black?"

He sighed. "I don't usually... make my own coffee. Or ever, really. Or drink it."

"Let's trade, then," she said and switched their cups. "I just didn't add sugar, so I'd do that if I were you."

Jongin poured in a bit of sugar and tasted it then. "Good," he said approvingly. "But still not as good as earth."

"Earth's coffee, or Sehun's coffee?" Jongin blushed and averted his eyes. She laughed. "Sehun's coffee. But you're right, not as good as earth."

"Do you think I'll win?" Jongin asked, playing with the handle on the cup.

"You have to," she said, repeating Jongin's answer from the press conference.

"How did you win? You were fifteen."

"It was actually very easy," she replied. "the first few rounds, I mean. Our group was much bigger. We had sixty four contestants. Once they were in sight of me, I'd control their body, pick a weapon of choice, and slice."

"Sounds painful," Jongin replied.

She nodded. "I feel everything when I'm in someone else's body. Of course, when they die, I just leave their mind, but until then," she counted on her fingers. "I've felt death six times. None of them were very nice. You've been going pretty well, actually. I mean, all of your limbs are still yours."

Jongin gave a weak smile and took another drag of coffee.

"I'd try to amend things with Lu Han if I were you."

Jongin paused and thought about Lu Han. His memory flashed to Soojung. There wasn't any anger anymore. Just this desperate need to mourn. "But he killed-"

"He was right though. Someone would have killed her, or she would have killed someone else. Lu Han's your only friend left."

"How do you know that?"

Seohyun sighed. "I'm your proctor. I watch over you."

Jongin frowned and looked down at his coffee. He had almost finished it, and as he looked up to see Seohyun, she finished the last bit of her's as well. He quickly downed the rest of his and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not going to have a punishment or anything, for fighting outside the arena?"

"Shall we leave?" Seohyun asked, and Jongin nodded and stood up. "No one really cares, rules wise. You'll probably be on the front cover of a few newspapers, but that doesn't really matter. There might be a few scandals about you and Soojung having an affair, but I don't think you care about that either. There's not much you can do when you're supposed to die, anyway."

On the way out, Seohyun said something about paying Sooyoung later, and then they walked back to the competitor's housing. "When's my next battle?" Jongin asked, once they got to the doors.

Seohyun pressed her palm to the scanner. "Not for awhile," she said, and the door opened. "I don't know if you want to go to a hospital and get your cheek fixed, or if you just want to ice it and let it heal normally."

Jongin's hand went up to his face, and he felt the bruise forming from Lu Han's punch. "I'll just ice it," he said. "Thanks for coffee."

Seohyun smiled and gave him a small wave as Jongin walked inside. "I'll be watching you," she said.

Lu Han's door looked exactly like his: metal and unwelcoming, except instead of the number six, there was a black sixteen painted on his door. He stood outside of it for a long time, debating whether he should actually go in or not. By the time Jongin decided to knock, the door had opened itself by a very tired looking Lu Han. Jongin let his arm fall back to his side as they both looked at each other for a moment. Lu Han waited for Jongin to speak.

"If you're just going to stand in front of my door," Lu Han said after a while, "does it matter if I'm there or not? Because I'd really like to eat."

Jongin opened his mouth to say something, but after a fleeting thought, closed it and stepped aside. Lu Han gave him a look and stepped out into the hall and walked down the opposite way. Jongin's head hurt. He had to say something. He had to say something, because soon enough, at least one of them would be gone. He had to say something now, because Lu Han was his only friend left, and Jongin knew he wouldn't be able to do this alone. He had to say something. Now.

"I'm sorry," he called out.

Lu Han stopped walking. He turned around to look at Jongin, who had his head facing the floor, hands fisted at his sides, shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. I was mad, and confused, and. You're my best friend, too. I don't want it to end like this."

Jongin heard footsteps. They were coming towards him, but he kept his head down in case Lu Han wanted to throw another punch at him again. This was stupid. They would both be dead, and it wouldn't matter who said what and what their relationship was when the paramedics took their dead bodies out of the arena.

"You're so stupid."

Jongin laughed, a bit breathless and empty, then looked up to see Lu Han staring at him. "Figured that one out myself," Jongin replied, in attempts to crack a smile.

"Shut up and hug me," Lu Han snapped and threw his arms around Jongin. Jongin hugged back a bit awkwardly. "You have no idea," Lu Han sniffed, "how much I hate being alone. I need you."

Jongin squeezed a bit too hard and buried his neck into Lu Han's shoulder. "I hope to god," he said, voice muffled by the fabric, "that one of us dies in the next round. Because I cannot, and will not kill you."

And then Lu Han was crying, gripping the back of Jongin's shirt and fisting it in his hands. "This is so fucked up," he sobbed. "This is so fucking fucked up."

Jongin agreed silently and tried his best to comfort Lu Han through their hug.

They slept in Jongin's room together that night, curled together in the small space of Jongin's bed. The proximity should've helped Jongin, make him feel less lonely, but he felt cold and empty and spent the night listening to his own heartbeat pound in his head.

The next morning, Lu Han had woken up especially early, and Jongin hadn't been able to sleep at all. Jongin gave him a small smile as Lu Han stretched. "So," he whispered. "you and Soojung. Since when?"

Lu han laughed, hollow, before shoving the blanket over his head. "Since never. Nothing could've happened, even if we wanted to."

"Yes, but," Jongin gestured lamely. "Since when?"

"Since the beginning, I guess," Lu Han shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore. I won."

Jongin nodded and shifted himself into a sitting position, careful not to crush Lu Han. "I guess. Sorry."

He wasn't that sorry, honestly. There was still some part of him that refused to forgive Lu Han, no matter how stupid it sounded.

"Don't be," Lu Han said, before leaning up. "I deserve it. Do you want to get something to eat?"

"It's early," Jongin replied.

Lu Han got out of bed and stretched one last time before reaching his hand out towards Jongin. "Let's eat anyway."

They headed downstairs to the cafeteria together, Jongin a little ahead of Lu Han, before he stopped in the doorway and froze.

Lu Han tried looking over his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Yuri and Amber are there."

Lu Han raised an eyebrow. "So? I've talked to Amber before. She's nice."

"No," Jongin pleaded. "Later, please? Me and you. I don't want to..." he trailed off and peeked inside the cafeteria again. "Please?"

Lu Han slumped his shoulders in defeat as Jongin pushed him back upstairs and into the main room. "Do you want to watch TV, then?"

Jongin made no complaint as they settled on the couch together, Lu Han's head on Jongin's lap. "I thought you liked watching TV," Jongin said, looking down at him.

"Not in the mood."

Jongin pursed his lips as Lu Han turned onto his side and pretended to be asleep.

Jongin had no idea how they passed the days by. Neither of them had bothered to watch Amber and Chanyeol's match, though were both surprised when they saw Chanyeol walk back to his room that night.

With progression in the tournament, the next two fights were sorted out - Yuri versus Jongin and Lu Han versus Chanyeol. The days in between matches also jumped to three. Jongin's fight was first though, and he was surprised at how quickly time passed in such an empty building.

He'd asked Lu Han not to come with him, nor to watch his performance, the same way Lu Han did with his first match. He waited patiently as the coordinators set him up.

He'd almost forgotten that was a show. Sehun was watching him, back on earth. He'd made a promise.

Seohyun greeted him at the glass doors, and they walked down the metal hallway together.

"This is weird," he said aloud. "I have nothing to ask you."

Seohyun laughed. "Then ask nothing."

"But," Jongin pursed his lips. "It's calming. Helps me get to the next round."

They stopped in front of the gates and Seohyun took her space at the side. "What if I ask you a question this time?" Jongin looked up, startled, as Seohyun announced the first gate opening.

"What are you going to ask me?"

"Will it help you get through?"

"Is that the question?"

Seohyun smiled and announced the last gate opening. "Here's a question - are you going to win?"

Jongin had to bite his lip to prevent his smile from showing. "If I win, I'll let you know."

The gates opened, and Jongin took a few cautious steps into the stadium. Technically the battle didn't start until the buzzer rang, but Yuri was an illusionist, and he had no idea what that meant. In the past, he was able to watch everyone else's battles and see how they fight, but with Yuri, he only saw what an outsider saw - shock on the victim's face, and Yuri walking around them as they were entranced in her mind world.

Yuri was standing a few feet outside of her gate, looking up into the stadium. Jongin followed her line of sight to the giant screen above the audience. Overall, she looked considerably bored. They were both distracted by the sound of the buzzer ringing, and Jongin got ready to run.

The scene was the same though. She stood uninterested, staring at different points of the audience. Jongin was startled, and wondering if this was all an illusion. His body loosened up a little, and he blinked, too confused.

She was right in front of him with a sword in hand. Jongin screamed and teleported as far away as he could right before Yuri tried to slash him. She threw the sword down and turned around to stare at Jongin. Jongin gasped for breath, completely taken by surprise.

It was an illusion the whole time. Yuri had actually been walking towards him. He took a deep breath and grabbed a dagger from the wall. Anything could be an illusion now, and he had to be prepared for it.

Yuri was picking another weapon off of the wall, and Jongin grimaced when she picked up a halberd. Maybe he if kept teleporting around the stadium, she wouldn't be able to locate him and cast an illusion.

It'd also drain him of a lot of energy, though. He teleported to the spot where Yuri was and looked around when she wasn't there.

She was over where Jongin was before, still holding the sword. The halberd was on the wall.

Jongin decided to pick it up himself and teleport again to where she was. When he appeared in the spot though, everything was dark. He couldn't see anything. He looked down, and it almost seemed like he was floating. Something flew past him, and Jongin screamed as he looked down. Some type of blade had cut into his hip. It bled, and Jongin took a few cautious steps to the side, then broke into a sprint. The ground grew hotter and hotter and his feet burned, but he still kept running in random directions.

Something bright appeared ahead, and Jongin headed towards it desperately. It was probably more dangerous, but if Yuri was close, he figured maybe he could try to lunge at her.

The ground cracked under his feet, and he skidded to a stop before jumping onto one side of the ground. Beneath him, lava flowed, and Jongin hissed and took a few more steps back.

Something sharp pressed against Jongin's back, and he froze in place. He bit his lip and looked down into the pit of lava. It wasn't really there, that he knew, but would he feel pain if he jumped in it? He felt the blade press into his back further, cutting skin, and Jongin closed his eyes and teleported.

He had no idea where he'd end up, still in darkness or in the stadium, but when his eyes open he was in a familiar looking place. Pale white curtains, off white carpeting. Jongin felt his chest rising with some emotion and tried his best to fight against it. It's an illusion, he told himself. Nothing's real.

"Jongin?"

Yuri had managed to slice him across his entire lower back before he teleported, but the pain barely registered to him as he saw Sehun come in from the kitchen to the living room.

"Jongin, is that you?"

He couldn't speak, so caught up in disbelief, bile rose in his throat as he tried to find words to say. Sehun made his way over to Jongin and looked him over while beaming. "I-"

"How did you get here?" Sehun asked. "You're supposed to be-"

"Don't say it," Jongin growled. "I don't want to hear it."

He touched the side of Sehun's face and traced his fingers along the outline of Sehun's jaw. "Okay," Sehun complied. "What do you want me to do, Kai?"

He shrugged and tugged Sehun closer. "Anything, I don't care."

Sehun's voice hitched as their chests pressed together. "This is a little-"

Jongin wrapped his arms around Sehun and squeezed. "Sehun," he mumbled. "I'm going to come home."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Jongin said, smiling, and dragged one hand from Sehun's neck to the small of his back. "But I'll miss you."

Sehun raised an eyebrow. "What? Wh-" he groaned, and then gagged. Jongin tried his best not to tremble as he pressed the dagger deeper into his back. "What are you doing?" Sehun gasped out. Blood was trailing down his lips.

Jongin held back a sob as he twisted the blade. Sehun grunted in response and grasped at the back of Jongin's shirt. "When was the last time I kept a promise, huh, Sehun? Yuri?"

The scene changed. The living room of Sehun's house melted away to a dirt battlefield. Sehun's face peeled off, revealing Yuri instead, and Jongin pulled the dagger out and took a few steps back.

She dropped onto her knees and took one look up at Jongin before collapsing onto the ground.

Jongin wondered if this was also an illusion, but then the buzzer rang, and he sighed in relief. He threw the dagger on the ground and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

He didn't have to go to the hospital this time, but it hurt more. Lu Han had grabbed a chair and followed him like a shadow to his room where he finally collapsed in bed. "What do you do when your brain hurts? When your heart hurts?" Lu Han said nothing and opted to hold his hand. "What do you do when you feel like you've been breaking into small grains of sand, one by one, and they all just fly away with the wind. What do you do when the wind finally blows away what's left of you?"

It was a weird feeling. Not empty, though he'd have liked to be empty. It was another emotion - it filled his body and dragged him lower lower until he felt like he could just fall through the earth if he stopped trying just a little bit.

"You hope you have a friend that'll hold your hand until it's all over," Lu Han said. Jongin turned his head to look at him, slumped down in his chair, arm awkwardly bent so that their hands were intertwined.

Jongin tried smiling, but all he could manage was a sort of grimace. "Sleep with me."

Lu Han quietly pushed the chair away and crawled into bed with Jongin. He rolled over to make space and threw an arm and leg over Lu Han once they were settled in.

It was the most peaceful sleep he had in awhile.

Lu Han seemed to have caught Jongin's solidarity, because the next three days were spent avoiding Chanyeol as much as possible. Jongin felt bad, because they had spoken before, and they were both friends with Wu Fan. Chanyeol was alone now, and he had no idea how it'd been affecting him.

It dawned on Jongin just how lucky he was to have Lu Han still next to him. He hadn't realized they had made it all the way to the semi finals. Jongin had beat his competitor, and now Lu Han or Chanyeol had to beat their's. Then it'd be the finals.

Finals.

After finals, Jongin could go home.

Jongin could lie in the grass and teleport around Sehun's house and - Sehun. With Sehun, he couldn't even imagine where he'd start. Sehun had become a prayer to Jongin, his one belief, anything to keep him from falling. When he was alone, he'd whisper Sehun's name to himself to keep reminding himself there was a reason for doing what he was doing.

"D'you remember what Soojung said, that one time?"

Jongin was jerked out of his thoughts. "What time?"

Lu Han swallowed, trying to pick out the right words. "After Wu Fan died. It was a conversation just between you and Soojung, but I was there - I wasn't supposed to be, but I mean."

"What'd she say?" Jongin asked slowly. He had a feeling he knew, and it made his head ache and body tremble.

"The winner of the tournament - it was never meant to be her, or Wu Fan. It was never meant to be me, either."

"Lu Han-"

"That doesn't mean I won't try, today," Lu Han said firmly. "I can try to bend the odds. It's what I've been doing. But, I think I understand what she meant. And." He paused and took a deep, shaky breath. Jongin felt frozen in place. "I believe it too."

"Don't," Jongin pleaded. "There's all these expectations I can't fulfill and everyone's saying I was meant to win, but why? Why am I meant to win? What have I done that's so great? I'm just Jongin. Kim Jongin, the kid who accidentally got into a fight with a police officer."

"If I don't win, you better win for me, then," Lu Han said, opening his arms. Jongin pulled Lu Han into a hug and sniffed.

"Don't lose," Jongin begged. "Please don't lose. I can't deal with someone else gone. I won't be able to. I'll even let myself lose - I'll let you go home. Please, please."

Lu Han smiled. "Goodbye, Jongin."

And then that was it.

Jongin didn't even remember the match. Something with flames, and Lu Han dispersing the fire, but Chanyeol had been setting up a trap, or something, Jongin's brain couldn't comprehend it at the moment, but Lu han had found himself in a ring of fire, and there a look. A special look Jongin knew was just for him - this is the promise I made to you - before he let the fire consume him.

The buzzer rang, and Chanyeol stood over Lu Han's body, shoulders hunched over and head down. Jongin's heart clenched, hands shaking, eyes darting around the room. He knew this would happen. He knew it the moment Lu Han hugged him goodbye.

He was sure Lu Han knew it too. On one hand, he was thankful Chanyeol was the one that did it, but on the other hand, he was finally alone. He sighed and rested back against the couch, the back of his head hitting the wall. He paused and rubbed at the spot, then hit his head on the wall again.

His head hurt less, or rather, the emotional pain was less noticeable. He did it again and again and again until he felt dizzy and felt the blood rushing.

Lu Han is dead, he repeated. Chanyeol killed him.

He got up and walked around the floor, staring at everyone's rooms but not going inside of any of them. Lu Han's was the very last room, the same number sixteen just as uninviting as ever, if not more, but Jongin pushed that feeling aside as he opened the door. The room was empty. It had been empty - there was never anything to put it in. Clothing was handled by coordinates, food was eaten in the specific cafeterias, and no one had been able to bring personal belongings in the first place.

Jongin slept in Lu Han's bed that night, in attempts to capture that last bit of him before his presence vanished forever. It slipped through his fingers like smoke, and Jongin was left with a memory of a boy with bright laughter and dazed eyes.

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