i haven't been this utterly unhappy in a while. babysitting today could be summed up by the smell of shitty diapers and the sting left on my cheeks from a bag of hot dog buns that were hurled at my face. and to top it all off, i try to head home for the first time in twelve hours only to find that my most vital key ring - the one with the key to ( Read more... )

when i was discussing my results on the MBTI with a career counselor she had me point to the point on a continum that i believed i fell at. so i pointed to a place on the line between sensing and intuition, thinking and feeling, judging and perceiving, introversion and extraversion ( Read more... )

(1)it was thursday when it happened. after i dropped his older brother and sister off at swimming, it was just to two of us, working together on a book he was making. he was recopying the main characters when i heard his pencil hit the table as he let out a heavy exhale. he sprinted up the stairs and collapsed on the attic couch, his chest heaving ( Read more... )

i know most people don't understand it. finishing classes is supposed to come with benefits - sleeping in, less stress, free time. but i guess i just don't work like that ( Read more... )

( this was written about a year ago, but i think i'm ready to share it now. )

this morning, as i poured my bowl of cereal, i wanted to reach for the fruit loops and pour you a pot, since a normal sized bowl is never enough. i wanted to smell the artifical sweetness of the colored circles and add the skim milk i bought just for you. milk which will now sit, untouched, in my refridgerator until i decide to throw it out. i ( Read more... )

driving home tonight as the flakes of snow danced in front of my headlights, i wondered, is this really the last time we'll all be back here. i wondered if i will ever cross the distance between your house and mine with this same metered regularity. regardless of what's next, it's something different. there's talk of roomates, apartment locations, ( Read more... )

my dad's father calls me darling. every time he says it i feel ten or eleven in my grandparents old kitchen, standing on the tips of my toes to reach the microwave because we were always in charge of making the bacon. i'd call him over to agree that the four or five strips needed another minute to be perfectly crisp. i'd dab them with an extra ( Read more... )

i could be on my way to newark airport right now. i could be heading back for the beginning of what has always been my least favorite quarter - the cold weather, the ill-timed beginning with sorority rush and sleep deprivation that inevitably leads to a long string of sinus infections, the history of broken bones and surgery, the way i hate to ( Read more... )

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? i had a successful long distance relationship over seven different time zones. i made someone fly across the atlantic ocean for a weekend. i took vacations with seb. i coached my team to a record setting season. i spent an entire summer watching the same two children. i had my first legal ( Read more... )