What Hurts More Than... Chapter 2
What Hurts More Than…
Author: sen_nen_no_yuki
Pairing: Yamada Ryosuke x OC , Nakajima Yuto x OC
Rating: G for this part (overall rating PG-15)
Genre: Romance, Major Angst
Warnings: Right now…maybe just hints at foul language?
Summary: Yoshida Maiyu loves her best friend Yamada Ryosuke. They’ve been best friends ever since they could remember. Maiyu’s been building up the courage to confess to Ryosuke, but what happens when a new girl gets in the way? What’s worse is that Ryosuke actually likes her too! Maiyu’s forced to suffer as she watches the one she loves, give love to someone else.
Chapter 2
When Maiyu got home, she quickly rushed to her bedroom quickly greeting her parents. She pulled out a notebook from her desk drawer. The notebook looked like any normal exercise book but when she opened it, it was decorated with her writing. Her feelings of happiness, pain, her dreams, and her failures were all in that one book. A while ago, Yuuto suggested that Maiyu started a diary. He knew that she couldn’t tell him absolutely everything on her mind and so instead of keeping it all bottled up, she wrote it all down. She took out her favourite blue pen and started writing.
October 10th 2009
Dear Diary,
Today Yuuto confessed to me. We were having cake at Utsukushii Keeiki and he realized that I was worried about Ryo-chan and the new girl. Her name’s Fukuda Miyabi and I hate her. She waltzed into our lives and stole him. Ryosuke turned me down today. I asked him if he wanted to go to buy cake and he said no. Guess why. He was going to that girl’s house to help her study. IT WAS STRAWBERRY CAKE TOO! I asked Yuuto to come with me instead. Remember how I won those two free coupons? I wouldn’t have won them if Ryosuke didn’t tell me to stop rolling the wheel in the roulette. When the golden ball came out and they said I won the special prize I was so happy. But I don’t think he remembers that. It was so long ago... Anyway, back to what happened today.
Yuuto told me he liked me and he wanted me to stop watching Ryo-chan. But how can I? He’s my best friend….and I love him. Yuuto said he’d give me time to think about it, but what am I supposed to say? I’m so confused. What should I do? He knows I like Ryo-chan! Why would he confess to me now of all times?! But if I were to say ‘no’, I’d hurt his feelings. Maybe this is what I need. Maybe this is a sign to finally get over him….What on earth am I supposed to do? Say ‘no’ to Yuuto and continue suffering…or say ‘yes’ and finally get out of this rut…
Feeling extrememly tired, Maiyu put her pen down and closed her notebook. Climbing into her bed, she tried to fall asleep yet she couldn’t. Tossing and turning in her pink fluffy covers, she started crying in frustration and confusion; her tears eventually lulling her to sleep.
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The next morning she slept in and woke up when Ryosuke barged into her room. Feeling like crap, Maiyu didn’t want to go to school after what happened yesterday. There was no way she could face Yuuto now. On top of that, seeing Ryosuke and Miyabi would probably hurt even more and without Yuuto to help her cope, she might as well just stay home. Her eyes were swollen. She could feel it without even looking into a mirror. Instead of getting up, she buried herself deeper under the covers.
“Mou Mai-chan! WAKE UP!” he tugged at the covers. Ryosuke was the only person, other than Maiyu’s family members, who was allowed into her room and allowed to see her when she was still in her pyjamas. The t-shirt and long purple pants that she wore to sleep every night. When Maiyu slept, her shirt would ride up, revealing her stomach or even her bra. It was really embarrassing when her friends used to barge into her room and they would tease her about catching colds or preventing her bust size from growing. Of course, Ryosuke never said anything when he saw her. He usually just ignored that and pulled her shirt down before waking her up. He always thought that Maiyu was dead asleep when he did that. But she was always conscious. Maiyu never wanted to let Ryosuke realize this though. She liked to see that he took care of her. But today when she woke up, she held onto the blanket even tighter. She didn’t want Ryosuke to see her face, especially because her feelings at the time would be given away by one look. She knew that once he saw her, he would only flood her with questions.
Instead she shouted at him, “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM YAMADA RYOSUKE!” Maiyu only called Ryosuke by his full name when she was angry, yet at this time, she wasn’t. It was the only way to get Ryosuke out of her room so she could get dressed properly.
After hearing Ryosuke jump back in surprise and sounds of him scurrying out of the room, Maiyu finally came out from under the covers. She inhaled the cool air that hit her face and quickly got her things together for school. Even though she dreaded going to class that morning, Ryosuke was there waiting, and she couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse to skip. She thought about what she was going to say to him as she got dressed. He would obviously ask why she yelled at him. With one look into the body mirror on the back of door, she was right. Her eyes were bloodshot red, swollen and puffy. Maiyu sighed, threw her schoolbag over her shoulder and walked downstairs.
“Ohayou~” she fake yawned. Maiyu let her bangs fall in front of her eyes so no one could see that she had been crying the night before. She made sure to make her movements quick and speedy to keep up the charade. This morning, like any morning, she grabbed a piece of toast off the kitchen table and was rushing around stuffing her books into her bag so it was easy to hide her face.
“Ohayou Maiyu. Your bentou’s on the table. Saa hayaku*! You don’t want to make Ryosuke-kun wait!” Maiyu’s mom practically pushed her daughter out the door.
“Ittekimasu!*” she shouted into the house.
“Itterasshai!*” her family members answered back.
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When Maiyu came outside, Ryosuke was leaning against the gate twiddling his thumbs, looking like a little boy who was in trouble.
“Ohayou Mai-chan!” he smiled at her trying to relieve some of the pressure of the soon-to-erupt volcano that was Maiyu’s temper.
She gave him a glance and quickly turned her head in the opposite direction, so swiftly that her hair swung in the air. She muttered, “Ohayou,” before starting to walk.
“You’re mad at me aren’t you…” he tried to peer under Maiyu’s bangs and into her face. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry~!” he ran in front of Maiyu and bowed deeply. But Maiyu continued to look away from Ryosuke wanting to hide her red, swollen eyes.
“I’m not mad. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night,” she replied. Her voice was hushed and there was a cold tone to her voice. It wasn’t the like normal Maiyu who would be bouncing off the walls at such an early time. She felt antisocial.
“Oh…okay then,” he ended the questioning at that. “So…I went to Miyabi-chan’s house last night…”
“Yeah, you told me remember? I went to eat cake with Yuuto instead,” she replied bluntly.
“Oh right…well since you’re my best friend…You should be the first one to hear this…” Ryosuke inhaled sharply, “I…think….I like Miyabi-chan.”
As Ryosuke finished that one sentence, Maiyu could feel her heart shatter. She knew it. He liked her and Maiyu’s feelings didn’t even cross his mind. Not that he knew about them… What was she thinking? How could Ryosuke like someone like her? He only met her the day before! How could they possibly be so close ALREADY?! They were only best friends…and now…that’s all they’ll ever be.
Trying to hold back tears, Maiyu smiled and answered, “Oh really? That’s good for you Ryosuke! You have to tell me all about it! Of course I’ll support you 100%!” Lies. All lies. She wanted to take her words back, the second they came out of her mouth.
“Really?! Thanks Mai-chan!” he gave her a choking hug. It would probably be the last one she’d ever get from him. She sniffled. The second he let her go, he started to talk about the time he had with Miyabi the night before. He didn’t notice that she was hurt.
“So… we were walking home together…and we have SO MUCH IN COMMON! You know how you really love tomatoes? She hates them just like I do! And so… I think she likes me too… our hands accidentally brushed against each other while we were walking and we both pulled away so quickly! Her hands were so warm…” he paused, savouring the memory. “And then she tripped! Luckily I was there and I caught her! She’s so light!” he was going on and on about his time with his dream girl. While he was in a state of bliss, Maiyu was just trying her hardest to stop herself from just bursting into tears. She wanted to ignore Ryosuke, but she was SUPPOSED to be supporting him which forced her to listen. She walked along nodding, her eyes still to the ground. Then Ryosuke said something that pushed her over the edge.
“I’ve never had anyone that I’ve liked so much…and I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone who’s LIKED me!” The only thought going through Maiyu’s mind was…
What about me?
Maiyu was ready to burst out in tears. Luckily, they were right outside of the school’s gates. They were walking towards the gates when Maiyu spotted Yuuto. Even though there was a really awkward atmosphere between them because of his previous confession, Maiyu ran to Yuuto and broke out into sobs on the front of his shirt, gripping around him tightly. Yuuto was surprised. He gave a quick glance at Ryosuke knowing that he was the reason for her tears and patted Maiyu on the back, leading her into the school.
Ryosuke was dumbfounded. Why on earth did she just start crying? On top of that…why did she just run to Yuuto of all people? Wasn’t Ryosuke Maiyu’s best friend? He could feel a fiery sensation in his chest. What was this? He kept glaring at the backs of his best friend and classmate. Suddenly his state of intense concentration was interrupted when he was attacked from behind.
“OHAYOU RYOSUKE-KUN!” Miyabu jumped onto his back almost making him stumble backwards onto the pavement below. That’s right. He liked Miyabi now. There was no reason to be worrying over Maiyu.
“Ohayou Miyabi-chan!” he smiled back. Ryosuke was glad that even though only a day passed, they were so close now. On the other hand, someone else hated the new relationship that formed.
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“Shhh calm down Maiyu, I’m here for you.” Yuuto took Maiyu into an empty storage room and was hugging onto her tightly trying to stop her from crying. Her sobs broke the silence in the room and was hyperventilating because she just couldn’t stop.
“It hurts Yuuto… I hate hearing about him and her. It just hurts way too much. I feel like my heart’s been ripped out,” she tried to regain her composure, but every time she remembered what happened that morning, the pain in her heart increased and she cried even harder.
I think…I like Miyabi-chan…
The words played over and over in her mind and there was no way she could stop her tears. Yuuto looked down at his friend worried. He hated Ryosuke at the moment even thought it wasn’t really his fault… but no, it was his fault ENTIRELY! Maiyu spent YEARS trying to get Ryosuke to realize how she felt, but for the whole time, he was just too damn dense!
“Maiyu…You’ve got to stop crying…he’s not worth your tears,” he said quietly.
“I know…but I can’t help it…”
“Remember…what I told you yesterday? ‘I want you to look at me instead of him’,” Yuuto quoted himself from yesterday. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been chasing after him Why not try forgetting him?” Yuuto grabbed onto her hand intertwining their fingers. Maiyu was surprised. Her tears slowly starting to dissipate. “I like you Maiyu and you deserve someone better. That’s why…I want you to be my girlfriend…” he confessed for the second time.
“Sure” Maiyu wanted to stop the intense pain in her chest and the best way was exactly what Yuuto said. She had to forget her love for Ryosuke.
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The pair had to leave the storage room for morning classes. The two them stood outside of the classroom door and Yuuto watched as Maiyu took deep breaths. He knew it would be hard entering that classroom. He grabbed her hand in reassurance and opened the door.
Everyone in class was shocked when they saw Maiyu and Yuuto holding hands. So shocked that there was a chorus of “EHHHH?!?” when they stepped into the room.
“Nee nee, Nakajima-kun, are you and Yoshida-chan going out?” someone asked. Yuuto shyly nodded and everyone in the room responded again with another, “EHHHH?!?”
“Nee Maiyu-chan, I thought you liked Yamada-kun…” one of the girls in the class whispered to Maiyu who simply shrugged. She was with Yuuto now and that was all that mattered.
Most of the class now swarmed the new couple, but there was one person who remained in their seat. That person was Ryosuke. Even though he was still in his seat, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t interested in what was happening. Ryosuke had that same burning feeling in his chest. Heartburn? No, it couldn’t be that…
When Maiyu and Yuuto moved to sit in their seats, Ryosuke was glaring at the couple. Maiyu came over to him and greeted him. She knew there was no way she could just block Ryosuke out of her life, she decided that they’d still be best friends. “Ohayou Ryo-chan!” she tried to cover up the pain that she felt when she saw him by putting on a fake smile.
Instead of greeting her back, he said darkly, “So… you’re with Yuuto now?”
“Umm…yeah…” her eyes moved under her bangs.
“So…who confessed first?” he asked.
“I did.” Yuuto was now at Maiyu’s side, answering Ryosuke’s question. He felt that she wouldn’t be able to handle being in front of him for so long and therefore he decided to take over. They had a glaring contest. Eyes like flames and sparks flying. Suddenly, Miyabi came into the classroom.
“Ryosuke-kun~” she hugged him, “I don’t know how to solve this problem~ Help me!!” The look on Ryosuke’s face suddenly softened.
“Uh…okay. By the way…congrats you two…” he got out of his seat and went to Miyabi’s desk to help her with math again.
The expression on Maiyu’s face made Yuuto worried. She looked like she was about to start crying again. Why was Ryosuke being so distant? Of course, she was the one who ran away from him that morning…but there he was, off being happy…with Miyabi. Yuuto took Maiyu’s hand and locked their fingers together.
“I’m here for you…” he whispered to her.
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Two weeks later, Maiyu was still dealing with her feelings but this time, it hurt even more to see that as she and Ryosuke were drifting apart, he was getting closer to Miyabi.
October 21st 2009
Dear Diary,
What am I supposed to do? I’m with Yuuto now… and yet all my thoughts and feelings are still for Ryosuke. This is wrong…I don’t know why I said yes to Yuuto…I’m just going to hurt him in the end… Why is it that…I have to drag him of all people into my problems?
Fukuda-san…that girl…She’s the one who’s been causing all these problems… I don’t know…I’m re-thinking my hatred towards her. I WANT to be friends with her…but there’s no way I could be friends with someone who’s…stolen my best friend…Never mind that….Ryosuke…what does she have..that I don’t? Why is he in love with her? It’s been a matter of two weeks and he fell for her since day one. I’ve been trying for so long...and nothing…we’re merely best friends and that’s never going to change…then why…why do I keep hoping for something to happen…when it won’t?
Maiyu was hanging around in the hallways afterschool. She was going to grab her bag in the classroom so she could go home…when she heard voices. It was pretty late so Maiyu found it odd that there were still people there. Yuuto already went home and so she was alone…When she approached the classroom’s window, she thought a weird instinct came over her and she was quiet. She tiptoed and slowly looked through the window. She was surprised to find Ryosuke and Miyabi standing face to face in the classroom, deep blushes covering both of their faces.
“Anno…Ryosuke-kun…I…like you…Please go out with me!” Miyabi bowed. Ryosuke looked like he was about to die from happiness. On the other hand, Maiyu stumbled back in shock.
“I-I like you too Miyabi-chan…” he walked over to her and hugged the petite girl. Such a special moment for the two of them. One that would make them happy for a long time… but no…seeing them together made Maiyu’s chest hurt. The pain was worse than normal. This time it hurt so much that she was forced to crouch on the ground to try to ease the pain. She felt a lump in her throat but if she were to start crying, would just give away her position. She crawled into the classroom next door, moving into the far corner of the room. The corner was dark even though there was light from the setting sun streaming into the room because the light didn’t touch her hiding place. Maiyu sat with her knees to her chest and her face down. Why was this bothering her so much? She was SUPPOSED to be over Ryosuke now… That was when she let her tears flow freely, her sobs breaking the stillness and silence in the room. She was all alone. No one to comfort her this time.
Maiyu heard footsteps. The pair was leaving. Again, trying to hide, Maiyu held in her sobs by placing her hand over her mouth attempting to muffle her sobs. It didn’t matter though. She could see them from her hiding place. In love, not a care in the world, they only saw each other…
It was then that Maiyu realized that Ryosuke no longer had a place in his heart for her.
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A/N- AND HERE....is where the angst starts to come in... Poor Maiyu...haves her heart broken before she even confesses... I duns have much to say about this chapter nee... Comments and Criticism are loved! Comments to criticisim ga daisuki desu kara~
*hayaku- hurry up
*ittekimasu- i'm leaving
*itterashai- be safe, take care, bye