[WoD Drabble] I haven't done one of these in so long

[sensuelles]

Experimenting w/ writing style again. Well...sorta. Been reading too much magic realism lately.

pedant \PED-nt\, noun:
a person who makes a show of detailed knowledge, esp. relying on books; also, a narrow-minded teacher or scholar

Comments

[kalliel]

Oh wow, this is gorgeous. And instantly intriguing--from the outset, you had me thinking about the implications of this: "and the last remaining 12...to be used with surroundings in mind." O_o;;

The lyric, detached tone to this is amazingly effective; it's like two voices, two stories, in one. What is happening in the physical realm, and what Itachi is thinking in the mental one--they're intertwined, of course, but Itachi comes across as so far removed from his actions.

I loved the end especially. It tied in to the beginning, and the recurring image of the leaves flying and falling was quite powerful.

Excellent drabble. ^^

[sensuelles]

Kalliel^^

Thanks for the comments XD. You're an Itachi fan so anything you say on him I hold in high esteem lol, especially since you wrote that awesome peace for naruto_contest recently which I LOVED.

This...I think, was actually sparked from that drabble you did. I read the word promt from dictionary.com and instantly though of Itachi.

On another note, really glad I got the dualism of the stories and voices across^^ I was trying to convey Itachi's mental state w/ flashbacks that could create some pathos, while keeping the physical realm clinical, which I wasn't sure would work or just be confusing. Glad that Itachi came off as removed from his actions. I've always thought that he would be removed, or at least had to be, in order to murder his entire clan.

[anat_astarte]

Oh wow, this is awesome! I love the detached tone too, like the reality that is coming upon him is one he wants to escape from and the emotions he's trying to hold onto are slipping away. Really powerful piece! I also love the details, regarding the body, and am very partial to flying leaves/leaf-like things :D Really amazing imagery you have going in this fic, as well as the undercurrent of turmoil, and they're beautiful! :D

[sensuelles]

Thank you!

Ian't Itachi awesome? I've always loved how his character is all about undercurrent emotions and actions and mentality. His childhood and life is so battered that any type of feeling seems beaten out of him, and in his attchment for Sasuke, there's a longing to cling to his own humanity. A kind of affirmation, I guess. But I find it especially ironic how in protecting the thing he cares most about, in trying to preserve his own bonds and humanity, his actions ultimately take him further away from the thing he strives towards.

I'm also a total whore for leaf imagery or anything nature-related and flying...lol.

[anat_astarte]

*nodsnodsnods* I ♥ Itachi- and I think you've summed him up beautifully. Well done!

Love your icon too *purr*

[helicopini]

This strikes me as very cinematic. I think because of the way the sentences are hacked off into little pieces (and how appropriate, given the subject matter) and it reminds me of jump-cuts and quick editing. It creates are real effect though, and one that really suits this piece.

Actually, the tone and atmosphere of this really reminded me of that specific scene in the anime where Itachi first uses tsukuyomi on Sasuke, and time kind of rewound backwards. The kind of time disortion seemed present in the piece as well. It creates a sense of disorientation, kinda...

And that's exactly what you'd want for a scene of violent murder. I liked how this hinted at Itachi's conflicted thoughts too. Though really what I got out of this was that he was more caught in a tangle of sensory impressions and half-memories when he actually did it.

Which rang true like whoa. I think it's also an interesting thing to focus on, the thoughts of a very young teenager while he killed his family.Also, Itachi's almost clinical detachment, his

[sensuelles]

DUDE! How did you know!?

The cinematic feel was exactly the effect I was thinking of and going for. Kinda like those assasination clips where it's all silent except for the sounds of nature and some background music and then the blade slices through the air type of thing. slifjweir! It's like you read my mind.

Yeah, I was trying to convey the conflict in Itachi's own mind, although not to the degree of some major loss of humanity or wrack of guilt. I don't believe he could or is capable of feeling real guilt like any normal character but there has to be a semblance of guilt...maybe some numbness and disorientation. It's interesting that you bring up sensory impressions b/c I've always believed Itachi to be a ghost in some sense, where senses, memories and will of others has engrained who he has become. He's such a battered character, and to me, it seems like senses and being able to sense is the closest type of stimulation he gets towards emotion at all.

<333