(fic) killer
exo | jongin-centric/kaisoo | crime/horror AU (PG-13)
sometimes everything fits together all too well.
word count: 8.7k
When Jongin wakes up, the first thing that hits him is the blood.
It attacks his senses; the metallic smell suffocates him, the nauseating taste hangs on his tastebuds as if it he’s consumed quantities, and violent splashes of red are all he can see, even though his vision is still blurry. It overwhelms and shocks his body, and all his muscles tense. Jongin swallows in an attempt to wash away the taste but it doesn’t work.
As the disorientation washes away, he realizes he’s standing in what looks like an abandoned house. It’s eerily quiet, the hallway he’s facing is dark and foreboding, even though the orange light is streaming in through the translucent curtains from the window next to him. Shadows dance as the fabric moves gently, and Jongin can feel the breeze caress his skin. It gives him goosebumps.
He takes a deep breath and exhales, trying to calm himself down. The white cloud from his lips disappears as quickly as it appears and he takes another one, slowly. He knows it’s cold out, but it doesn’t make sense for the room to be this cold.
The walls of what he presumes is the living room of the house are covered in red, and there’s a trail of it leading down into the hallway. It is then that he smells something other than the blood and he cringes, turning away from the darkness and hurriedly covering his nose and mouth with his hands.
Death.
“Jongin...”
The whisper of his name makes his hair stand on end and he whips his head around, trying to find the source. His heart is beating at a million beats per second and the panic is starting to kick in. He turns around, sensing something there, and comes face to face with a mirror.
It’s a full length one, with a beautiful dark blue frame. It’s wide enough for Jongin to see past himself and down the hall, and it makes him shiver. The mirror looks relatively new and definitely out of place in comparison to the rest of the house; the paint on the walls is already peeling.
The look on his face is one of pure bewilderment and terror. He looks pale and disoriented, from the dark circles under his eyes to his messy hair and his jacket, one side nearly hanging off his shoulder.
”Jongin...”
He doesn’t think twice this time before bolting. He slams the door behind him, nearly stumbling down the porch before stopping to survey the area. The street he’s on is empty, and the house seems to be part of a row others, all just as dilapidated as the next. There are two streetlights opposite, the right one dimmer than the other, and in the silence the low buzzing of electricity is all Jongin can hear. Jongin thinks he hears the shuffle of feet and runs away, away from the house, as fast as his legs can carry him. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he recognizes the area he’s in. It’s somewhere around the edges of the city, definitely far away from his shared apartment with Kyungsoo.
The adrenaline eventually fades and he slows down several blocks later, panting. He leans against the side of the building, trying to shake the echoing sound of the whisper in his mind out. He’s somewhere downtown.
Goddammit Jongin, don’t be such a baby. He shakes his head, letting out another breath.
“Jongin?” A shadow engulfs his on the wall.
Jongin jumps and spins around, arms almost raised defensively. Kris Wu is standing there, suit and briefcase and all. He never thought he’d actually ever be relieved to see Kris, given that the guy is Kyungsoo’s ex (“We just decided to go our separate ways, Jongin. It wasn’t a bad breakup, he didn’t hurt me.”) but he’d just woken up at the scene of a crime, so Jongin guesses that there’s a first for everything.
“You scared me,” is the first thing he manages to say. Kris gives him a trademark smirk, straight out of the lawyer textbook.
“What are you doing this side of town?”
“I...” Jongin clears his throat and straightens up. “I was just taking a walk.”
“...A walk?” Kris gives him a skeptical look.
“Uh huh.”
“You’re taking a walk...in the business district.”
“Yup.”
“At...” Kris pauses to check his watch, “forty-five minutes past one A.M?”
“Yeah,” Jongin says, pressing his lips into a thin line.
Kris blinks a moment before shaking his head, a somewhat amused look on his face. “Whatever, Jongin.” He starts to walk away when Jongin realizes that he has no idea how to get back from the business district, and the bus service stopped running just a while ago. No time for ego right now, he decides.
“You wouldn’t...um..you wouldn’t be able to give me a ride, would you?”
Kris raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you walk here?”
“Well, yeah, but I’m too tired to walk back,” Jongin says with that brattiness he never fails to have when talking to Kris. It’s alright though, he’s old enough to still be one.
“...Right, okay,” Kris says as he checks his watch. “I guess I have enough time. You’re lucky today,” he chuckled softly.
You have no idea, Jongin thinks as he follows Kris to his car.
-
The ride is awkward, but this isn’t surprising. Jongin thinks it’s the first time they’ve ever actually been together, just the two of them. Kris isn’t much of a talker, anyway, so Jongin lets the leather seats attempt to swallow him whole as the soft symphony of Tchaikovsky plays from the radio. Kris has always been a little too classy for him.
He slips his hand into his pocket and fishes out his phone, almost sighing in relief that it’s still there. He hits the home button and the screen lights up. It’s 12:59AM.
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
7:26PM, 20/09/12
Jongin-ah, where are you? Your dinner’s getting cold.... ㅠ ㅠ
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:02PM, 20/09/12
Are you okay? Please don’t scare me like this...
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:30PM, 20/09/12
Jongin, come on. This isn’t funny. I’ll call the police if you don’t come home, I swear.
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:48PM, 20/09/12
Just please, please be okay. Please.
Kyungsoo! ♥
(4) Missed Calls
Sehun the brat
(2) Missed Calls
From: Sehun the brat
9:05PM, 20/09/12
Dude, where are you? Kyungsoo was freaking out over the phone. Luhan couldn’t calm him down then so we’re headed to your place now.
From: Sehun the brat
9:16PM, 20/09/12
You better not be at some club or something.
From: Sehun the brat 9:37PM, 20/09/12
Without me.
From: Sehun the brat
9:40PM, 20/09/12
Okay I was kidding, but seriously, you need to come back.
There are a million other texts and calls from Chanyeol, Baekhyun and even Junmyeon. Kris is almost at their street when he taps Kyungsoo’s contact in his phone. The phone rings once, twice, before being picked up.
“Jongin?” Kyungsoo croaks, and Jongin feels guilty in an instant.
“Kyungsoo? Are you okay?” He asks gently.
“I think I should be asking you that. Hell, Jongin, I’m going to beat you up when you get back...” He hears Kyungsoo let out a sigh of relief and smiles to himself.
“Well you better get ready because I’m almost outside..”
“Where the hell were you?” Kyungsoo doesn’t sound angry, but incredibly concerned. Jongin wishes he could hold him.
“I’ll...I’ll explain when I get back. It was weird, I don’t know.” He catches Kris glance at him sideways before stopping in front of their apartment block.
“Okay. I love you, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, and the words have never felt more comforting and meaningful.
“I love you too,” he half-murmurs, but it’s loud enough for Kris to look up as he hangs up.
“Kyungsoo?”
“Yeah. Hey, thanks for the lift,” he says, opening the car door.
Kris nods almost solemnly. “It’s no problem. Say hi to Kyungsoo for me.”
For a moment, Jongin feels something stir inside him. It’s not jealousy, so he guesses it’s just him being protective of Kyungsoo. The way Kris says Kyungsoo irks something in him, but he smiles it off and nods, shutting the door behind him. He waves politely through the rearview mirror before the car zooms off.
The door to their apartment opens as soon as he taps on it, but it’s Luhan he sees instead of Kyungsoo. He opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong when he hears quiet sobbing coming from somewhere in the living room. Luhan shakes his head slightly as he steps aside, a cue to not ask anything.
Baekhyun is seated on their sofa, Junmyeon trying to console him as he holds him. The younger is sobbing and shaking in Junmyeon’s arms, and Jongin notices that he’s gripping Junmyeon’s shirt. Kyungsoo is seated next to them, rubbing soothing circles into Baekhyun’s back while Sehun makes tea in the kitchen.
“Jong-..” Kyungsoo starts, standing up, but the sound of his name seems to change the atmosphere in the room oddly. Sehun looks up for a moment before going back to the tea as if it’s nothing, while Junmyeon’s eyes hold something he can’t quite understand. Baekhyun, however, is different.
Baekhyun’s eyes are red as he looks up at Jongin, but the emotions are so clear they cut through Jongin like knives. Baekhyun looks like a complete wreck, tears streaming down his cheeks, and it’s clear that he’s distraught. But unlike the others, he isn’t calm. He’s angry, very very angry.
“Where is he?”
The air becomes frozen with tension. Jongin blinks, once, twice, in confusion.
“Where’s...who?” He asks slowly, careful about his tone.
“You know who!” Baekhyun nearly lunges but Junmyeon holds him back. Jongin backs up a little in shock, and Kyungsoo gets up quickly, going to stand just a little in front of him. “Don’t play dumb with me! He went looking for you!”
“Baek, he doesn’t know..” Junmyeon tries to say.
“But he has to!” Baekhyun yells, voice starting to tremble. He stops struggling now, and his chest rises and falls visibly as he starts to sob again. He collapses back onto the couch and Junmyeon holds him again. “He has to...” He cries into Junmyeon’s shirt.
Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s hand and leads him to one of the bedrooms at the end of the hall. Jongin shuts the door behind the both of them and he hears Kyungsoo sigh, back still turned to him. He takes this opportunity to wrap his arms around the older’s waist, pulling him against him and resting his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo rests his hands on top of Jongin’s, letting him be held for a moment before turning around.
“I was worried sick about you.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Jongin says, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Kyungsoo smiles, but it looks sad, and weighted with something.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just...worried about Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo exhales, voice shaky.
“Yeah...what was that about?”
Kyungsoo bites his lower lip, unable to meet Jongin’s eyes. Jongin watches him.
“Hyung..?” He asks gently.
“Chanyeol went looking for you.”
“What?”
“We said it was too dangerous but he insisted. Said he would be back by half-past midnight, latest,” Kyungsoo inhales deeply, trying not to let his voice waver.
“He’s not answering any calls?”
“No, not since eleven,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Not even from Baekhyun.”
“Maybe...maybe his phone died?” Jongin tries his best to sound optimistic.
“Maybe.” Kyungsoo doesn’t sound convinced.
“Did Baekhyun call the police?”
“Well, yeah. Right at twelve-thirty. Chanyeol’s not the kind of person to be late, ever. You know this.” Jongin nods. For as long as he had known him, Chanyeol had always been painfully punctual, even early when it came to Baekhyun. The two of them couldn’t stand being apart from each other, after all.
“Where were you, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks suddenly, looking up into Jongin’s eyes. His gaze holds no suspicion, but Jongin can see his expression is loaded with concern and the beginnings of fear.
“I...I don’t know. I think I sleepwalked or something.”
Kyungsoo frowns a little. “Sleepwalked?”
“Look, I know it sounds crazy but...this morning I woke up on the other side of town.”
“What do you mean..” Kyungsoo furrows his brows for a moment, and Jongin knows they’re not on the same page.
“Not like that. I was alone...just...somewhere,” Jongin sighs and sits down on the bed, running his hands over his face.
“I don’t understand...” Kyungsoo’s voice is gentle as he sits down next to Jongin. He takes Jongin’s lowering hands into his, squeezing them in comforting gesture. It helps, just a bit.
“I’ll explain it to you later.” He realizes he sounds weak and feels the beginnings of a bad headache coming on. Kyungsoo frowns a little and presses the back of his hand to Jongin’s forehead.
“No fever...but you look like you’re coming down with something.”
“It’s nothing, just a headache.”
“You should rest, okay? Just lie down here. I’ll get you some medicine.” Kyungsoo gets up to go, but Jongin finds himself reaching out and catching his wrist. Kyungsoo looks back at him. Jongin doesn’t normally do this kind of stuff, he prefers not to worry Kyungsoo, but right now he doesn’t feel okay with being left alone.
“C-can you stay here with me? Just for a while,” he feels himself blush a little and Kyungsoo smiles gently, nodding. Jongin shifts over, allowing the both of them to lie side by side, and Kyungsoo lulls Jongin to sleep as he murmurs a soft lullaby, fingers stroking his hair.
-
”The body of Park Chanyeol, a 20 year old undergraduate, was found early this morning by the river downtown. Police are still investigating-
Jongin feels nauseous and turns the tv off, looking back at the cup of herbal tea in front of him. It isn’t one of the nicest tasting things in the world, but it helps calm him down.
By the river downtown...far away from the house, Jongin finds himself thinking. Stop it, Jongin. You have no connection to his death. It’s nothing. You probably just sleepwalked or something.
Kyungsoo had woken him up a few hours earlier, saying that they had found Chanyeol. His eyes had been bloodshot and his voice sore, and Jongin had pulled him into his arms as he broke down again. “H-he was murdered, oh god, Jongin..” Kyungsoo had sobbed. “T-they stabbed him...”
“Shh...shh...I’m here, you’re okay.”
“W-we have to go down to the station,” Kyungsoo had told him in a shaky voice once he had calmed down. “They want to question us.” He had looked at Jongin then, with a haunting fear in his eyes that had made Jongin hold him close and kiss him, tell him everything was okay, even though he knew it wasn’t. It was always like that.
Sehun and Luhan were on the couch when Jongin had come out of the bedroom, listlessly watching cartoons. Kyungsoo had said that they were all going to the station together. Baekhyun and Junmyeon were nowhere to be found, but Jongin decided it was for the best, anyway. The circumstances of Chanyeol’s death were still unclear, and if Baekhyun thought that Jongin had something to do with it, he would have no problem lashing out at him. Jongin knew that Baekhyun had always been fiercely protective of Chanyeol, whether they were dating or not, and had this selflessness when it came to anything about him. Jongin had always noticed the way Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, with adoration and shining eyes, like Chanyeol was the sun and there was nothing else that he would rather look at, or be with.
And now the sun was gone, and seeing the way Baekhyun had looked at him last night, with eyes of rage and confusion, Jongin knew that things would never be the same again.
He looks at Kyungsoo when they’re in the car, the latter staring out the window at the passing buildings, and wonders if he looks at Kyungsoo like that too, like Kyungsoo is the only thing worth living for. Their relationship has always been more fleeting glances and brief touches, sometimes lingering kisses and snuggling, rather than the kind of passionate makeout sessions Chanyeol sometimes liked to brag about having, ignoring Baekhyun’s blushes and hits at his shoulder.
Luhan is at the wheel, with Sehun fast asleep in the front seat. obviously worn out from the events of the day so far. The police station is located somewhere downtown, a place they don’t frequent, with it’s tall glass skyscrapers and businessmen in limousines, and the women tottering around on stilettos, but Luhan seems to have a GPS system in his brain, navigating the foreign streets as easily as their local neighborhood.
Jongin feels Kyungsoo lean over and kiss him sweetly on the cheek, and he blinks at Kyungsoo after the older pulls away, the stain of pink faintly evident on his cheeks.
“You look worried,” Kyungsoo explains, dropping his gaze. Jongin grins at how cute his boyfriend is and slips his fingers under Kyungsoo’s chin, tilting his head up and kissing him full on the lips. Kyungsoo giggles a little and it only makes Jongin smile, lips still against each other’s.
“Oi, makeout time is later,” Luhan orders, snatching Sehun’s unicorn plushie from him, effectively waking him up, and tossing it at the two of them. Jongin shields Kyungsoo easily, letting the toy hit his shoulder with a triumphant grin.
“My hero,” Kyungsoo says, rolling his eyes despite the smile on his lips, before getting out of the car.
The police station is bustling with activity, papers being passed back and forth, officers and staff moving in and out of rooms, phones ringing and the sound of frantic typing accompanying in the background. They’re led away to a separate room, near the back of the station.
“You’ll be called individually,” a stern looking investigator informs them. Her hair has been pulled back into a high ponytail and looks painfully tight, Jongin observes as she checks her clipboard.
“Oh Sehun?”
Jongin watches as Luhan gives Sehun’s hand an encouraging squeeze before the youth stands and follows the woman out of the room. The door shuts and the silence swallows them. Jongin feels like they’re being watched, but he can’t spot any obvious cameras in the room.
“You know, you never explained to me what happened...” Kyungsoo murmurs at his ear, fingers playing with Jongin’s on his lap. For a brief moment Jongin stills, trying to see if Luhan has heard, but the Chinese continues inspecting his nails for something, so he relaxes.
“What do you want to know?” He murmurs in reply.
“Well...so you don’t know how you got...there, right?”
Jongin nods slowly, looking at Kyungsoo. “Well, I mean, that’s far away from our apartment. How’d you get back if you didn’t know how you got there?”
“Oh...Kris gave me a lift,” Jongin says, trying to sound as calm as possible.
“Kris..?” Kyungsoo raises his voice a little and Jongin bites his lip. Luhan glances at them sideways for a moment but shifts away after that nonchalantly.
“Yeah. I was wandering around and I found myself somewhere in the business district. I bumped into him.”
“Huh...I see..” Kyungsoo nods slowly, dropping his gaze to their hands. Jongin’s are cradling Kyungsoo’s almost lazily, thumb brushing over his knuckles slowly.
“Did he say anything about me?”
Why do you want to know? “No, he didn’t.”
“Right, right...” Kyungsoo nods again, leaning back into his chair. Jongin doesn’t know why he lied, but it shouldn’t matter, anyway. Not to anyone, especially not to Kyungsoo.
The door opens again and the lady is back.
“Kim Jongin?”
Kyungsoo mirrors what Luhan had done earlier when Sehun had been called and Jongin gives him what he hopes doesn’t look like a weak smile as he stands and follows the woman out of the room.
-
“Alright, Jongin-ssi. All you have to do is tell us the truth. Easy, right?”
The interrogation room makes Jongin feel oddly claustrophobic. The lamp on the desk casts a harsh light on the table between him and the investigator seated in front of him, and Jongin has to squint to get a glimpse of the man. He’s balding, with a grey suit and ugly patterned pale yellow and blue tie, and Jongin notices his ID tag pinned on the front corner of his jacket, but the light is too bright for him to make out the words.
“Yeah, sure.” Jongin clenches his jaw and then relaxes it, trying to keep calm. He knows he’s not done anything wrong, so there’s no reason for him to feel anxious.
“Tell me where you were the night of the murder.”
“I was...out,” Jongin says, the word nearly catching in his throat.
“Could you be more specific, Jongin-ssi?”
“I was out for a walk.” He clears his throat a little before speaking this time.
“Is there anyone who can verify this?”
“Yeah, my...flatmate, Kyungsoo.”
“You sound uncertain.”
“Sorry, I’m just...kind of in shock about everything. Chanyeol was one of my best friends. I don’t know who would do this kind of thing to him.”
The investigator nods. “I understand. But you have to help me help you, Jongin, and the only way I can do that is if I get facts. So I’ll ask you again, where were you the night of the murder?”
“I was out for a walk.”
“What time did you get back?”
“Late. I....got lost.”
“Ah, yes. Your friend-Sehun, is it?-told me that Chanyeol went to go look for you.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Do you get lost a lot, Jongin-ssi?” The question is asked with a tone that Jongin doesn’t like, and he feels his temper rising.
“I didn’t kill him.”
“I’m not saying you did. Please answer the question.”
“Chanyeol cares a lot. He went looking for me because he was worried. The guys probably let him go because he knows how to fight, and he knows how to use his height to intimidate people.”
“I see. And you didn’t know about this?”
“I only found out when I got back. I never saw him.” Jongin feels the words start to sink in. Chanyeol really is gone. Forever.
The investigator nods solemnly. “Well, that’s all my questions. Thank you for your time.”
“You will find out what happened to him, right?” Jongin says, looking up past the harsh light.
“We will try our best, Jongin-ssi.”
And how long will that take? “Thank you.”
-
The car ride back home is a tense one. Sehun doesn’t fall asleep this time, and Jongin notices that he keeps glancing at Luhan, who keeps his eyes on the road the whole time. Kyungsoo looks particularly exhausted, keeping his hands cradled in his lap, twiddling his thumbs. Jongin has noticed he does this whenever he’s nervous or thinking way too much about something.
“I’m gonna go wash up..” Jongin says, yawning as Kyungsoo opens their apartment door and hits the light switch. Kyungsoo hums in response, tossing the keys into the little wooden bowl on the counter.
The apartment feels oddly eerie and Jongin feels particularly paranoid as he steps into the shower. He knows Kyungsoo is home with him, but it doesn’t seem to shake the feeling that someone or something is watching him away, so Jongin resorts to humming to himself in the shower. He’s not a particularly good singer, but it takes his mind off things. As soon as he’s done with his shower, he towels himself dry and slips on a loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants before proceeding to brush his teeth.
He runs a hand over the slightly fogged up surface and immediately regrets it, because the memory of the mirror back at the house flashes before him again and he winces, shutting his eyes and willing his brain to get rid of it. It’s nothing, he tells himself. It’s nothing. He opens his eyes again and suddenly there’s a figure behind him.
“Jongin?”
He jumps and turns around, nearly crying out. Kyungsoo flinches, eyes wide, clutching a towel and his pajamas in his arms. After a moment Jongin sighs, letting go of the sink he’d gripped onto in his panic and promptly finishes brushing his teeth.
“You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Sorry,” Kyungsoo says, giving him an apologetic smile through the mirror. Jongin finishes rinsing his mouth and gives Kyungsoo a quick kiss on the lips, chuckling and feeling his chest swell with pride at the blush that comes to his boyfriend’s cheeks.
“Apology accepted.” He makes sure to pat Kyungsoo’s butt as he makes his way out, earning an undignified squeak from the older. Jongin laughs as Kyungsoo shuts the door.
The both of them lie awake that night, Kyungsoo playing with the hem of Jongin’s shirt. Jongin’s chin is resting against Kyungsoo’s forehead, and every now and then he dips his head down to press a loving kiss to the skin.
“Jongin...?”
“Yeah?”
“I kind of...miss Chanyeol.” The way Kyungsoo says it has this childish simplicity that makes Jongin’s heart ache. He wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. Kyungsoo nuzzles his face into the base of Jongin’s neck, resting his hand on Jongin’s hip.
“I miss him too,” Jongin confesses.
“Do you think Baekhyun’s okay?” Kyungsoo murmurs into his skin.
“I...I don’t know, Kyungsoo. I-I mean if I lost you...I’d...I probably wouldn’t be able to function again, ever.” Jongin lets out a sad, soft laugh at the end. He wonders if Kyungsoo knows how honest he’s being.
Kyungsoo sniffs abruptly, and Jongin tightens his arms around the older.
“J-Jongin?”
“Yes, hyung?” Jongin asks gently.
“I think I’m going to cry.”
“That’s okay. I might cry too,” Jongin smiles sadly and blinks, feeling the hot tears running down his cheeks. Kyungsoo starts sobbing into his shirt, fingers fisting the fabric, and Jongin buries his face into Kyungsoo’s hair, crying softly with him.
-
“Baekhyun dropped by to see you,” Kyungsoo tells him one day when they’re having dinner, and Jongin had spent the day shopping with Luhan and Sehun. It’s always a terrible idea, because Luhan spends forever picking outfits and they end up walking back and forth between shops a few times, and also because whenever he asks Sehun for his opinion on things the latter just shrugs and replies that he has no preference. Going shopping with them makes him feel like he’s run a marathon, but it helps keep his mind off things.
Jongin looks up and swallows his food before speaking. “To see me?”
“He wanted to apologize, for being so angry at you.”
“Oh...” Jongin bites his lip. “Was he...okay?”
Kyungsoo sighs. “As okay as he can be without Chanyeol.” Jongin reaches over and squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand on the table. The older smiles weakly at him, but it’s still grateful.
“I’ll call him later.”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Is there any more word about the murder?” It still hurts to say it.
“No, not that I know of. As far as I know, without the murder weapon, they can’t do anything.” They eat the rest of dinner in silence, listening to some new indie pop group on the radio sing about how people are better off alone, his shoulders feeling heavier than ever.
He calls Baekhyun later that night, just as Kyungsoo’s turning off the lights outside.
“Hello?” He sounds like he’s just woken up.
“Hey...Baek? Sorry, I can call back later.”
“Oh, Jongin,” he hears the sound of something being shuffled around and guesses it’s Baekhyun sitting up. “No, no it’s okay. We can talk.”
“Kyungsoo told me you stopped by.”
“Yeah...I...I wanted to apologize. I was just being irrational that day.”
“No, no Baek it’s alright. If I lost Kyungsoo I’d probably be a lot worse than you.”
“Yeah, I guess you would,” Baekhyun laughs softly after a moment, but it sounds broken.
“Are you staying with Junmyeon now?”
“Yeah, and Jongdae. His fault, really, insisted I come out here.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
“It’s alright. Jongdae’s being really nice too. I should record it one day and show you guys,” Baekhyun chuckles and it’s sincere this time. Jongin can’t help but laugh too. The moment doesn’t last though, and they fade into an awkward silence.
“I’ll uh...I’ll see you around, then,” Jongin finally says.
“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Jongin.”
“Night, Baek.”
“Oh and Jongin?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. Really.” Jongin smiles.
“Sleep tight, Baek,” he says before he hangs up. Kyungsoo plops down on the bed next to him, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder. “Good?” He asks.
“Good,” Jongin says, turning to face Kyungsoo, who looks up at him. Kyungsoo smiles as he leans in and Jongin wraps his arms around him as they kiss slowly, Kyungsoo’s fingers tangling in his hair, tugging gently and making him shiver.
Everything’s good, Jongin thinks.
-
Everything’s good, until Kris Wu’s body is discovered by a couple on a date by the central park three weeks later. Jongin and Kyungsoo are called in again, and the investigators seem to take pleasure in grilling them. The questions are asked at rapid fire but Jongin manages to keep his cool.
“I didn’t kill Kris. I barely even know him.”
“He was Kyungsoo’s ex, Jongin-ssi. Kind of a huge motive, don’t you think?”
“He didn’t hurt me or Kyungsoo. There would be no merit in killing him.”
Kyungsoo, however, comes out looking shaken and broken. Jongin catches him as he almost stumbles out of the room, glaring at the officers before leaving. Kyungsoo’s hands are still shaking by the time they reach the car, so Jongin insists on driving.
”The body of Kris Wu, 22, was found yesterday at the central park, buried in a shallow grave. The last person who is said to have seen him is his secretary. Ms Lee said that Wu left early that day, a while before eleven. Police are still invest-” Jongin reaches over and switches the radio off.
“They think I killed him, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says shakily a few moments later.
“But you didn’t, Kyungsoo,” Jongin finds himself assuring him.
“T-they kept yelling at me...I-I was scared...”
Jongin pulls over and takes Kyungsoo’s hands in his, calming him down. The older stops hyperventilating and nods at the ground, as if in reply to Jongin’s previous statement.
“You’re safe now, okay?” He reaches up and strokes Kyungsoo’s cheek, thinking about how much he has to protect Kyungsoo and how much Kyungsoo needs him now, more than ever, and how much he needs Kyungsoo, too. Kyungsoo rests his head a little against Jongin’s hand, sighing.
Luhan calls him later, after Kyungsoo is asleep. Jongin goes out to the living room to answer it, cup of tea Kyungsoo always makes him before bed in his other hand. He decides to leave the lights in the kitchen off.
“Hello?”
“Did you see the news?”
“Yeah...about Kris...” Jongin slouches on the couch. Something seems to move out of the corner of his eye, but when he turns to look, there’s nothing there. Weird.
“Report said they think his death is connected to Chanyeol’s.”
“What, like a serial killer?”
“Yeah. Crazy, huh?”
“And I just have the best luck to be connected to the both of them...”
“You’re not a killer, Jongin. You couldn’t even disect that frog in biology.”
Jongin laughs softly at the memory. “Kyungsoo had to do it in the end, jeez.”
“Speaking of which, is Kyungsoo okay?”
“He’s asleep right now, so hopefully that’s a good sign. I-” The sudden creak of wood makes Jongin freeze and he sits up, bringing the phone away from his ear. He peers into the darkness, holding his breath, but nothing seems to be moving.
”Jongin? Jongin? You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry Lu. I think I really need some sleep,” Jongin says as he finishes the rest of his tea.
“Sure, sure. You’re still a growing kid after all.” Jongin rolls his eyes at that. “Sleep tight, Jongin.”
“Night, Luhan.”
He leaves the mug in the sink and goes to turn the lights off. For a moment he pauses, turning back and looking around the room. There’s nothing there, but it feels like something’s looking right back at him and he doesn’t know why. Oh come on, Jongin. You’re not a baby. Just get some damn rest.
Jongin walks back to the room in darkness, keeping his eyes on his bedroom slippers. Maybe he should talk to Kyungsoo about moving or something.
-
Jongin wakes up in the house more frequently after that. He tries to count, to mark them down, but whenever he reaches home he always feels too disoriented, only able to sleep with Kyungsoo’s tea and gentle kisses. Each time, he wakes up with different emotions. Rage, apathy, satisfaction; a vicious cycle. They fade quickly as soon as he opens his eyes, but the moment always lasts long enough for him to remember it. The fifth time he wakes up, though, things are different.
The boy in the mirror is not him, even if he looks like him. The boy in the mirror is not him, even if they’re wearing the same clothes. The boy in the mirror is not him, because he has a knife in his hand and a smirk on his lips.
The boy in the mirror is not Jongin.
“You shouldn’t think so much, makes you go crazy,” the image-Kai, he tells Jongin-toys with the blade, running his fingertips over the edge in a graceful way.
“I’m dreaming,” Jongin tells himself. “I’m dreaming.”
“Or having a nightmare. Otherwise known as reality.”
“You’re not real.” Jongin slips a hand up his sleeve and pinches himself, hard. It hurts but he doesn’t wake up. No.
“I’m you, Jongin. Of course I’m real,” Kai rolls his eyes.
“You said your name was Kai.”
The image smirks. “Not very bright, are you? I’m the you you want to be, Jongin.”
Jongin forces out a laugh. “That’s bullshit.”
“Tsk, tsk. Self-denial is a rather deadly thing, Jongin.” Kai spins the knife on his fingers with ease before grabbing the handle and slashing at the air.
“I don’t want to be a fucking psychopath,” Jongin sneers.
Kai laughs. “Is that what you think I am?”
“You’re a killer,” Jongin finds himself saying.
“Clever boy,” Kai nods, “go on.”
“You...you killed Chanyeol.” Images flash before Jongin’s eyes. Chanyeol’s horrified expression as he was being attacked, the very same knife in Kai’s hands being brought down over and over, blood being splattered on the walls...everything. Everything.
“Correction! We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!” Kai wraps his hand around the knife and clenches his fist over it, but when he opens his hand again it’s gone. Jongin registers the feeling of a handle in his hand, and when he looks down the knife is in his hand, except the blade is bloody now. He lets out a cry of horror and throws the knife away to the far corner of the room, gripping his hand as if he’s just touched acid. Kai is laughing so hard he’s clutching his sides.
“Oh, you should have seen your face! God, it was fucking hilarious!”
Jongin growls and lunges, raising his fist and slamming it into the mirror. The surface cracks and Jongin feels the blood trickling down his fingers, the pain almost unbearable. Kai vanishes and Jongin finds himself looking back at a distorted image of his being, a sick feeling growing in his stomach.
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
The sentence surges forth another wave of rage and he punches the mirror again, uncaring if the blood drips onto the floor. He’s not a killer. He’s not a psychopath. He didn’t kill Chanyeol.
The window panes shake as a breeze sweeps through the house, the sound of thunder rumbling overhead. Jongin pulls his hand back then, hissing softly at the deep gashes in his skin. It looks bad, but he decides he’ll survive.
He stumbles out of the house, rain drizzling down. He can’t go back to Kyungsoo, not in this state, especially with his hand. He feels nauseous, feels as if he’s somehow growing weaker with each step, but he forces himself to keep moving forward, away from the damned house that keeps haunting him, that he swears each time he will never wake up in again but he does, always facing the hallway of nothing.
It’s starting to pour now, and Jongin stretches out his hand, letting the water wash the blood away. The metallic smell still clings to his nostrils and he swallows, almost gags, trying to get rid of it but it doesn’t work.
“Hell...” He whispers to himself. The wounds can’t seem to stop bleeding.
“Jongin? Jongin!”
His vision blurs and his legs give way, and Jongin catches a glimpse of a smudge of blonde running towards him just before his eyes close.
-
”Jongin, what are you doing here?” Kris frowns. “It’s late, you should go back to Kyungsoo.”
A pause.
“Hey, Jongin. I’m talking to you! What the hell is wrong with you-Jongin...Jongin put the knife down...whatever it is we can talk about this..Jongin..Jongin, NO!”
“Jongin, Jongin, hey wake up.”
Jongin sits up, gripping the sheets and gasping for air. He finds Luhan sitting next to the bed he’s in, a concerned expression on his face. He sighs in relief. Just a bad dream.
“You were having a nightmare,” Luhan says. Jongin flops back down on the bed, raising a hand to his forehead. He realizes by the slight sting that it’s the one he had injured punching the mirror, only now it’s neatly bandaged. He looks at Luhan for an explanation.
“Yeah, what the hell did you do to your hand? It wouldn’t stop bleeding. You should be thankful I did first aid all the way up to the advanced level.”
“Thanks. It’s nothing, I just...got into an accident.”
“An...accident?”
“Yeah...I’ll explain later, okay?” Jongin groans as he feels the beginnings of a headache coming on and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Okay, sure.”
“Shit, Kyungsoo’s going to kill me...”
“About that...” Luhan starts as Jongin tries to get out of the bed. The latter stops and looks at him expectantly, but he seems reluctant to continue.
Jongin frowns a little. “What?”
“I...I couldn’t get him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he wouldn’t answer his phone. Sehun even went to your apartment but it seemed empty. We called the others and no one’s seen him in forty-eight hours, Jongin.”
The words sink their teeth into Jongin’s being, injecting his mind with a million thoughts. Kyungsoo’s not one to disappear like that, and he always answers his phone or sends a text if he can’t.
“...something about going to investigate..”
“What?” Jongin interrupts, Luhan’s voice bringing him back to reality.
“He...” Luhan sighs. “A few days ago Junmyeon called Kyungsoo to check up on him, you know I mean with Kris and all.” His expression turns grim.
“And?” Jongin presses on.
“He said...Kyungsoo sounded kind of weird. He sounded really bothered, and angry.”
“Angry...?”
“Kyungsoo...was angry about the killings. Which makes sense, right? But then he started talking about how the police weren’t looking hard enough, how they weren’t trying their best.”
“He’s concerned, I guess. I don’t blame him for thinking that way, I mean come on, Luhan. The system is fucked. Half the cops in the city are corrupt, you know that.”
“Yeah but why then? There was no report that day, no calls, no anything.”
“Maybe he was just venting. Sometimes there aren’t any obvious triggers.”
“But then he...” Luhan stops, biting his lip. There’s uncertainty written all over his face.
“Then he what?” Jongin demands.
“He said that...he would take matters into his own hands.”
It feels like he’s been sucker-punched. “What do you mean...”
“I mean that Kyungsoo said that he’s going to find the killer himself.”
“You...you can’t be serious,” Jongin nearly laughs in disbelief. “That’s crazy.”
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
“But what if he did, Jongin? What if he found something he wasn’t supposed to? What if he...” Luhan trails off, the words hanging in the air, in the almost suffocating silence that follows.
It didn’t make sense, Jongin knew that. Kyungsoo isn’t the vigilante type, isn’t the type who would wander out on his own after nine-thirty at night. He has a fear of spiders and can’t stand horror shows, for crying out loud. Kyungsoo wouldn’t go out on his own, wouldn’t visit crime scenes, and certainly wouldn’t go around questioning people about the deaths of victims of serial killers.
Jongin pushes himself off the bed and stands up.
“We have to go find him.”
“Do I call the police?” Luhan asks, following Jongin out the room.
“No point,” Jongin says, grabbing his coat. “Contact the others, tell them to split up and search the city. Make sure everyone’s contactable.”
“Jongin,” Luhan calls as Jongin reaches for the door. The younger looks back at him.
“We’ll find him, don’t worry.”
-
Jongin searches the city on his own, phone in hand, constantly dialing and redialing Kyungsoo’s number, desperately trying to reach him somehow. He leaves a couple messages in the voicemail, but deems it useless after the fifth attempt. He takes a cab as long as he can, and when all the money is used up he searches on foot, craning his neck over crowds, trying to get a glimpse of the fur-trimmed hooded coat Kyungsoo liked to wear out. The grey skies overhead make the day look bleak and unpromising, and darkness seems to come faster than usual.
They split up to the far corners of the city, north, south, east, west, slowly making their way back to center. Luhan gets his friends Yixing and Zitao to help, and they leave the latter with Baekhyun at the apartment. “Just in case he comes back,” Baekhyun had said. Sometimes Jongin will realize he’s been walking in circles, cursing under his breath as he waits for traffic lights to change, sometimes taking his chances and running across. With each minute that passes, he starts to fear the worse, but no, not with Kyungsoo, he’s not going to give up just yet.
Kai’s words keep drifting back to him, weighing him down. He tries his best to push them out of the way, forcing himself to run, but there are no other logical explanations for the flashbacks of Chanyeol and Kris, the knife, the blood, the holes in his memory on the nights where they were murdered, everything.
Jongin’s phone rings just as he turns away from the last block on the street he swears he’s been down twice before. He fumbles with it for a moment before answering.
“Yeah?” He tries not to sound too breathless.
“Jongin? We couldn’t find him anywhere,” Luhan says apologetically. “Have you finished?”
Jongin opens his mouth to say that yes, he has and that they need to check again, just one more time, he’s still out there when he remembers the house. It’s in his area, and no one else knows about it. It’s a long shot, but it’s a hope. He checks the time.
10:48PM
“Jongin?”
“I think I know where he is.”
“What? Where? Do you need us to come with you?”
“No, but I need you to get the police to this address as soon as possible. I think the killer’s going to be there.” He hangs up before Luhan can respond, texting him the address before taking off running.
The street is darker than usual, one of the streetlights seems to have blown. Jongin makes his way up the porch carefully, heart slamming against his ribcage each time the wood creaks, desperate to make as little noise as possible. Kyungsoo is in there, he knows, and if the killer hears him coming he fears something will happen to him. Jongin doesn’t have a plan, because he’s willing to do anything to let Kyungsoo live and leave unharmed. That’s all that’s important.
The door to the house has been left ajar. Jongin slips in and sees the mirror on the floor, the shards of glass strewn about. There’s no blood on the walls this time, but his stomach still lurches at the prospect of coming face to face with a murderer, the man who killed his friends, who has his lover hostage, and who is probably going to be the one who will end his life tonight.
Jongin takes a deep breath and walks towards the hallway, slipping into the shadows. He finds his way to the far end all to well, not bumping into anything, and he finds himself reaching for the doorknob. He doesn’t hear any movement on the other side of the room and he pauses for a moment, fingers on the rusty metal. Then he twists it, pushing the door open, screwing his eyes shut.
When he finally opens them, it takes a while for his eyes to adjust to the dim light only coming from a small window facing him, but when he does his hand flies to his mouth in horror. The room is cluttered with furniture, but there’s a body on the far side of the room, slumped in a corner, and the smell of blood is pungent and definite.
“Jongin.”
The voice comes from behind him and he jumps, whipping around. He finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun, a gun that’s being held by trembling hands, trembling hands that belong to none other than the one who he’s been searching for.
“Kyungsoo,” he breathes in relief and moves towards him, but Kyungsoo surprises him by moving the gun so that it’s in his face again. He’s scared though, and confused, Jongin can see it in Kyungsoo’s eyes.
“H-how could you, Jongin?” Kyungsoo chokes out. “How could you k-kill all those people?”
“What are you talking about, Kyungsoo?” Jongin blinks in confusion.
“Y-you did it! You killed Chanyeol and Kris and everyone!”
“Everyone..?”
Still shaking, Kyungsoo reaches over with one hand and hits a switch on the wall. The light in the room flickers to life, and Jongin realizes with horror that it’s not furniture surrounding him.
It’s corpses. Bodies of people, piled up, laying next to each other, all with stab wounds. Some have flies buzzing angrily around them, some have their eyes closed, some have their faces still frozen in horror, the expression they wore in their final moments of their brutal death. It makes him feel sick, feel faint, and his knees feel weak again.
“K-Kyungsoo?” He says, sounding like a lost child. He watches as Kyungsoo crosses over and crouches down, careful not to point the gun away from Jongin, and he picks something up off the ground.
He balances it in the palm of his hand and Jongin realizes it’s a small, red journal. With a shaky voice Kyungsoo begins to read.
”All are stabbed seven times.
5th July, 2010. Middle-aged woman. Prostitute.
7th July, 2010. Man in early twenties. Drug Addict.
16th July, 2010. Elderly man. Pedophile.
25th July, 2010. Middle-aged man. Drug Smuggler.
2nd August, 2010. Woman in early twenties. Prostitute.
9th August, 2010. Man in late twenties. Procurer.
11th August, 2010. Teenaged girl. Prostitute.
18th August, 2010. Middle-aged woman. Drug Addict.
3rd September, 2010. Middle-aged man. Procurer.
20th September, 2010. Teenaged runaway boy and Park Chanyeol. Dumped Chanyeol by the river.
4th October, 2010. Kris Wu.”
Kyungsoo inhales slowly and closes the book. “You sick, twisted boy. All those people, dead, destroyed by you. Even our friends.”
“Kyungsoo, you have to believe me, I swear-”
“You lied about everything, Jongin. You lied about not knowing anything about Chanyeol disappearing, because you were the one who killed him!” Kyungsoo screams, clutching the gun tighter, knuckles turning white. The sound of police sirens in the distance fill Jongin with dread.
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
“K-Kyungsoo..”
“God, you sure played me, didn’t you? All those murmurs of ‘I love you’ and all the times you held me and told me everything was alright...” Kyungsoo clenches his jaw. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Kyungsoo, please! You’re making a mistake!”
Kyungsoo lets out a harsh laugh. “You told me in your sleep, you know! Told me you killed all those people! I didn’t believe you, of course, thought you were just having some weird nightmare...but now I see that you really are a monster.” The sirens are growing louder and louder, and Jongin knows any second that the police will be here.
“I-I never told you but...sometimes you would wake me up at night. Y-you’d have this...weird look in your eyes, and whenever I tried to talk to you..you..you kept telling me to call you Kai.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, as if wanting to get rid of the memory. “I-I refused to believe it...but now..this...everything...” He takes a breath, repositioning the gun, aiming it at Jongin’s head.
In the suspended second, Jongin feels himself being split in two, like his soul is shifting off the axis of his existence, and he sees faces. He sees the faces of people he knows, of Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Luhan, Sehun, Chanyeol, even Kris, and he sees the faces of strangers, old and young, well-dressed and in rags, and the one, final thought he hears passing through his mind is they were bad people, Jongin. They got what they deserved.
“K-Kyungsoo?”
-
Bang.
-
When the police arrive at the scene, they find Jongin, dead, with a gun in his hand and the killer’s log in his other. The case is called to a close and the evidence collected, investigators calling it the most shocking crime this city has ever witnessed.
But no one knows the truth. No one knows that Jongin had been drugged, been taking doses of a hallucinogen this whole time. No one knows that the writing in the log has been forged to match his handwriting, something that took years and years of study. No one knows that Chanyeol had seen Jongin walking to the house in his dazed state, an effect of the drugs, and had gotten too close for comfort. No one knows that Jongin had witnessed the murders, but had not committed them. No one knows that the last memory he had was spoken in a voice that didn’t belong to him.
And no one sees Kyungsoo slip out the back, pulling his hood up over his head, his lips curling into a smirk.
fin.
===
A/N: /evil laugh/
- this fic should also be called the 'don't let beth watch fight club and the usual suspects within the same month' fic, oh and what happens when you listen to the jennifer's body soundtrack and write at the same time.
sometimes everything fits together all too well.
word count: 8.7k
When Jongin wakes up, the first thing that hits him is the blood.
It attacks his senses; the metallic smell suffocates him, the nauseating taste hangs on his tastebuds as if it he’s consumed quantities, and violent splashes of red are all he can see, even though his vision is still blurry. It overwhelms and shocks his body, and all his muscles tense. Jongin swallows in an attempt to wash away the taste but it doesn’t work.
As the disorientation washes away, he realizes he’s standing in what looks like an abandoned house. It’s eerily quiet, the hallway he’s facing is dark and foreboding, even though the orange light is streaming in through the translucent curtains from the window next to him. Shadows dance as the fabric moves gently, and Jongin can feel the breeze caress his skin. It gives him goosebumps.
He takes a deep breath and exhales, trying to calm himself down. The white cloud from his lips disappears as quickly as it appears and he takes another one, slowly. He knows it’s cold out, but it doesn’t make sense for the room to be this cold.
The walls of what he presumes is the living room of the house are covered in red, and there’s a trail of it leading down into the hallway. It is then that he smells something other than the blood and he cringes, turning away from the darkness and hurriedly covering his nose and mouth with his hands.
Death.
“Jongin...”
The whisper of his name makes his hair stand on end and he whips his head around, trying to find the source. His heart is beating at a million beats per second and the panic is starting to kick in. He turns around, sensing something there, and comes face to face with a mirror.
It’s a full length one, with a beautiful dark blue frame. It’s wide enough for Jongin to see past himself and down the hall, and it makes him shiver. The mirror looks relatively new and definitely out of place in comparison to the rest of the house; the paint on the walls is already peeling.
The look on his face is one of pure bewilderment and terror. He looks pale and disoriented, from the dark circles under his eyes to his messy hair and his jacket, one side nearly hanging off his shoulder.
”Jongin...”
He doesn’t think twice this time before bolting. He slams the door behind him, nearly stumbling down the porch before stopping to survey the area. The street he’s on is empty, and the house seems to be part of a row others, all just as dilapidated as the next. There are two streetlights opposite, the right one dimmer than the other, and in the silence the low buzzing of electricity is all Jongin can hear. Jongin thinks he hears the shuffle of feet and runs away, away from the house, as fast as his legs can carry him. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he recognizes the area he’s in. It’s somewhere around the edges of the city, definitely far away from his shared apartment with Kyungsoo.
The adrenaline eventually fades and he slows down several blocks later, panting. He leans against the side of the building, trying to shake the echoing sound of the whisper in his mind out. He’s somewhere downtown.
Goddammit Jongin, don’t be such a baby. He shakes his head, letting out another breath.
“Jongin?” A shadow engulfs his on the wall.
Jongin jumps and spins around, arms almost raised defensively. Kris Wu is standing there, suit and briefcase and all. He never thought he’d actually ever be relieved to see Kris, given that the guy is Kyungsoo’s ex (“We just decided to go our separate ways, Jongin. It wasn’t a bad breakup, he didn’t hurt me.”) but he’d just woken up at the scene of a crime, so Jongin guesses that there’s a first for everything.
“You scared me,” is the first thing he manages to say. Kris gives him a trademark smirk, straight out of the lawyer textbook.
“What are you doing this side of town?”
“I...” Jongin clears his throat and straightens up. “I was just taking a walk.”
“...A walk?” Kris gives him a skeptical look.
“Uh huh.”
“You’re taking a walk...in the business district.”
“Yup.”
“At...” Kris pauses to check his watch, “forty-five minutes past one A.M?”
“Yeah,” Jongin says, pressing his lips into a thin line.
Kris blinks a moment before shaking his head, a somewhat amused look on his face. “Whatever, Jongin.” He starts to walk away when Jongin realizes that he has no idea how to get back from the business district, and the bus service stopped running just a while ago. No time for ego right now, he decides.
“You wouldn’t...um..you wouldn’t be able to give me a ride, would you?”
Kris raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you walk here?”
“Well, yeah, but I’m too tired to walk back,” Jongin says with that brattiness he never fails to have when talking to Kris. It’s alright though, he’s old enough to still be one.
“...Right, okay,” Kris says as he checks his watch. “I guess I have enough time. You’re lucky today,” he chuckled softly.
You have no idea, Jongin thinks as he follows Kris to his car.
-
The ride is awkward, but this isn’t surprising. Jongin thinks it’s the first time they’ve ever actually been together, just the two of them. Kris isn’t much of a talker, anyway, so Jongin lets the leather seats attempt to swallow him whole as the soft symphony of Tchaikovsky plays from the radio. Kris has always been a little too classy for him.
He slips his hand into his pocket and fishes out his phone, almost sighing in relief that it’s still there. He hits the home button and the screen lights up. It’s 12:59AM.
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
7:26PM, 20/09/12
Jongin-ah, where are you? Your dinner’s getting cold.... ㅠ ㅠ
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:02PM, 20/09/12
Are you okay? Please don’t scare me like this...
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:30PM, 20/09/12
Jongin, come on. This isn’t funny. I’ll call the police if you don’t come home, I swear.
From: Kyungsoo! ♥
8:48PM, 20/09/12
Just please, please be okay. Please.
Kyungsoo! ♥
(4) Missed Calls
Sehun the brat
(2) Missed Calls
From: Sehun the brat
9:05PM, 20/09/12
Dude, where are you? Kyungsoo was freaking out over the phone. Luhan couldn’t calm him down then so we’re headed to your place now.
From: Sehun the brat
9:16PM, 20/09/12
You better not be at some club or something.
From: Sehun the brat 9:37PM, 20/09/12
Without me.
From: Sehun the brat
9:40PM, 20/09/12
Okay I was kidding, but seriously, you need to come back.
There are a million other texts and calls from Chanyeol, Baekhyun and even Junmyeon. Kris is almost at their street when he taps Kyungsoo’s contact in his phone. The phone rings once, twice, before being picked up.
“Jongin?” Kyungsoo croaks, and Jongin feels guilty in an instant.
“Kyungsoo? Are you okay?” He asks gently.
“I think I should be asking you that. Hell, Jongin, I’m going to beat you up when you get back...” He hears Kyungsoo let out a sigh of relief and smiles to himself.
“Well you better get ready because I’m almost outside..”
“Where the hell were you?” Kyungsoo doesn’t sound angry, but incredibly concerned. Jongin wishes he could hold him.
“I’ll...I’ll explain when I get back. It was weird, I don’t know.” He catches Kris glance at him sideways before stopping in front of their apartment block.
“Okay. I love you, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, and the words have never felt more comforting and meaningful.
“I love you too,” he half-murmurs, but it’s loud enough for Kris to look up as he hangs up.
“Kyungsoo?”
“Yeah. Hey, thanks for the lift,” he says, opening the car door.
Kris nods almost solemnly. “It’s no problem. Say hi to Kyungsoo for me.”
For a moment, Jongin feels something stir inside him. It’s not jealousy, so he guesses it’s just him being protective of Kyungsoo. The way Kris says Kyungsoo irks something in him, but he smiles it off and nods, shutting the door behind him. He waves politely through the rearview mirror before the car zooms off.
The door to their apartment opens as soon as he taps on it, but it’s Luhan he sees instead of Kyungsoo. He opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong when he hears quiet sobbing coming from somewhere in the living room. Luhan shakes his head slightly as he steps aside, a cue to not ask anything.
Baekhyun is seated on their sofa, Junmyeon trying to console him as he holds him. The younger is sobbing and shaking in Junmyeon’s arms, and Jongin notices that he’s gripping Junmyeon’s shirt. Kyungsoo is seated next to them, rubbing soothing circles into Baekhyun’s back while Sehun makes tea in the kitchen.
“Jong-..” Kyungsoo starts, standing up, but the sound of his name seems to change the atmosphere in the room oddly. Sehun looks up for a moment before going back to the tea as if it’s nothing, while Junmyeon’s eyes hold something he can’t quite understand. Baekhyun, however, is different.
Baekhyun’s eyes are red as he looks up at Jongin, but the emotions are so clear they cut through Jongin like knives. Baekhyun looks like a complete wreck, tears streaming down his cheeks, and it’s clear that he’s distraught. But unlike the others, he isn’t calm. He’s angry, very very angry.
“Where is he?”
The air becomes frozen with tension. Jongin blinks, once, twice, in confusion.
“Where’s...who?” He asks slowly, careful about his tone.
“You know who!” Baekhyun nearly lunges but Junmyeon holds him back. Jongin backs up a little in shock, and Kyungsoo gets up quickly, going to stand just a little in front of him. “Don’t play dumb with me! He went looking for you!”
“Baek, he doesn’t know..” Junmyeon tries to say.
“But he has to!” Baekhyun yells, voice starting to tremble. He stops struggling now, and his chest rises and falls visibly as he starts to sob again. He collapses back onto the couch and Junmyeon holds him again. “He has to...” He cries into Junmyeon’s shirt.
Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s hand and leads him to one of the bedrooms at the end of the hall. Jongin shuts the door behind the both of them and he hears Kyungsoo sigh, back still turned to him. He takes this opportunity to wrap his arms around the older’s waist, pulling him against him and resting his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Kyungsoo rests his hands on top of Jongin’s, letting him be held for a moment before turning around.
“I was worried sick about you.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Jongin says, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Kyungsoo smiles, but it looks sad, and weighted with something.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just...worried about Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo exhales, voice shaky.
“Yeah...what was that about?”
Kyungsoo bites his lower lip, unable to meet Jongin’s eyes. Jongin watches him.
“Hyung..?” He asks gently.
“Chanyeol went looking for you.”
“What?”
“We said it was too dangerous but he insisted. Said he would be back by half-past midnight, latest,” Kyungsoo inhales deeply, trying not to let his voice waver.
“He’s not answering any calls?”
“No, not since eleven,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Not even from Baekhyun.”
“Maybe...maybe his phone died?” Jongin tries his best to sound optimistic.
“Maybe.” Kyungsoo doesn’t sound convinced.
“Did Baekhyun call the police?”
“Well, yeah. Right at twelve-thirty. Chanyeol’s not the kind of person to be late, ever. You know this.” Jongin nods. For as long as he had known him, Chanyeol had always been painfully punctual, even early when it came to Baekhyun. The two of them couldn’t stand being apart from each other, after all.
“Where were you, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks suddenly, looking up into Jongin’s eyes. His gaze holds no suspicion, but Jongin can see his expression is loaded with concern and the beginnings of fear.
“I...I don’t know. I think I sleepwalked or something.”
Kyungsoo frowns a little. “Sleepwalked?”
“Look, I know it sounds crazy but...this morning I woke up on the other side of town.”
“What do you mean..” Kyungsoo furrows his brows for a moment, and Jongin knows they’re not on the same page.
“Not like that. I was alone...just...somewhere,” Jongin sighs and sits down on the bed, running his hands over his face.
“I don’t understand...” Kyungsoo’s voice is gentle as he sits down next to Jongin. He takes Jongin’s lowering hands into his, squeezing them in comforting gesture. It helps, just a bit.
“I’ll explain it to you later.” He realizes he sounds weak and feels the beginnings of a bad headache coming on. Kyungsoo frowns a little and presses the back of his hand to Jongin’s forehead.
“No fever...but you look like you’re coming down with something.”
“It’s nothing, just a headache.”
“You should rest, okay? Just lie down here. I’ll get you some medicine.” Kyungsoo gets up to go, but Jongin finds himself reaching out and catching his wrist. Kyungsoo looks back at him. Jongin doesn’t normally do this kind of stuff, he prefers not to worry Kyungsoo, but right now he doesn’t feel okay with being left alone.
“C-can you stay here with me? Just for a while,” he feels himself blush a little and Kyungsoo smiles gently, nodding. Jongin shifts over, allowing the both of them to lie side by side, and Kyungsoo lulls Jongin to sleep as he murmurs a soft lullaby, fingers stroking his hair.
-
”The body of Park Chanyeol, a 20 year old undergraduate, was found early this morning by the river downtown. Police are still investigating-
Jongin feels nauseous and turns the tv off, looking back at the cup of herbal tea in front of him. It isn’t one of the nicest tasting things in the world, but it helps calm him down.
By the river downtown...far away from the house, Jongin finds himself thinking. Stop it, Jongin. You have no connection to his death. It’s nothing. You probably just sleepwalked or something.
Kyungsoo had woken him up a few hours earlier, saying that they had found Chanyeol. His eyes had been bloodshot and his voice sore, and Jongin had pulled him into his arms as he broke down again. “H-he was murdered, oh god, Jongin..” Kyungsoo had sobbed. “T-they stabbed him...”
“Shh...shh...I’m here, you’re okay.”
“W-we have to go down to the station,” Kyungsoo had told him in a shaky voice once he had calmed down. “They want to question us.” He had looked at Jongin then, with a haunting fear in his eyes that had made Jongin hold him close and kiss him, tell him everything was okay, even though he knew it wasn’t. It was always like that.
Sehun and Luhan were on the couch when Jongin had come out of the bedroom, listlessly watching cartoons. Kyungsoo had said that they were all going to the station together. Baekhyun and Junmyeon were nowhere to be found, but Jongin decided it was for the best, anyway. The circumstances of Chanyeol’s death were still unclear, and if Baekhyun thought that Jongin had something to do with it, he would have no problem lashing out at him. Jongin knew that Baekhyun had always been fiercely protective of Chanyeol, whether they were dating or not, and had this selflessness when it came to anything about him. Jongin had always noticed the way Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, with adoration and shining eyes, like Chanyeol was the sun and there was nothing else that he would rather look at, or be with.
And now the sun was gone, and seeing the way Baekhyun had looked at him last night, with eyes of rage and confusion, Jongin knew that things would never be the same again.
He looks at Kyungsoo when they’re in the car, the latter staring out the window at the passing buildings, and wonders if he looks at Kyungsoo like that too, like Kyungsoo is the only thing worth living for. Their relationship has always been more fleeting glances and brief touches, sometimes lingering kisses and snuggling, rather than the kind of passionate makeout sessions Chanyeol sometimes liked to brag about having, ignoring Baekhyun’s blushes and hits at his shoulder.
Luhan is at the wheel, with Sehun fast asleep in the front seat. obviously worn out from the events of the day so far. The police station is located somewhere downtown, a place they don’t frequent, with it’s tall glass skyscrapers and businessmen in limousines, and the women tottering around on stilettos, but Luhan seems to have a GPS system in his brain, navigating the foreign streets as easily as their local neighborhood.
Jongin feels Kyungsoo lean over and kiss him sweetly on the cheek, and he blinks at Kyungsoo after the older pulls away, the stain of pink faintly evident on his cheeks.
“You look worried,” Kyungsoo explains, dropping his gaze. Jongin grins at how cute his boyfriend is and slips his fingers under Kyungsoo’s chin, tilting his head up and kissing him full on the lips. Kyungsoo giggles a little and it only makes Jongin smile, lips still against each other’s.
“Oi, makeout time is later,” Luhan orders, snatching Sehun’s unicorn plushie from him, effectively waking him up, and tossing it at the two of them. Jongin shields Kyungsoo easily, letting the toy hit his shoulder with a triumphant grin.
“My hero,” Kyungsoo says, rolling his eyes despite the smile on his lips, before getting out of the car.
The police station is bustling with activity, papers being passed back and forth, officers and staff moving in and out of rooms, phones ringing and the sound of frantic typing accompanying in the background. They’re led away to a separate room, near the back of the station.
“You’ll be called individually,” a stern looking investigator informs them. Her hair has been pulled back into a high ponytail and looks painfully tight, Jongin observes as she checks her clipboard.
“Oh Sehun?”
Jongin watches as Luhan gives Sehun’s hand an encouraging squeeze before the youth stands and follows the woman out of the room. The door shuts and the silence swallows them. Jongin feels like they’re being watched, but he can’t spot any obvious cameras in the room.
“You know, you never explained to me what happened...” Kyungsoo murmurs at his ear, fingers playing with Jongin’s on his lap. For a brief moment Jongin stills, trying to see if Luhan has heard, but the Chinese continues inspecting his nails for something, so he relaxes.
“What do you want to know?” He murmurs in reply.
“Well...so you don’t know how you got...there, right?”
Jongin nods slowly, looking at Kyungsoo. “Well, I mean, that’s far away from our apartment. How’d you get back if you didn’t know how you got there?”
“Oh...Kris gave me a lift,” Jongin says, trying to sound as calm as possible.
“Kris..?” Kyungsoo raises his voice a little and Jongin bites his lip. Luhan glances at them sideways for a moment but shifts away after that nonchalantly.
“Yeah. I was wandering around and I found myself somewhere in the business district. I bumped into him.”
“Huh...I see..” Kyungsoo nods slowly, dropping his gaze to their hands. Jongin’s are cradling Kyungsoo’s almost lazily, thumb brushing over his knuckles slowly.
“Did he say anything about me?”
Why do you want to know? “No, he didn’t.”
“Right, right...” Kyungsoo nods again, leaning back into his chair. Jongin doesn’t know why he lied, but it shouldn’t matter, anyway. Not to anyone, especially not to Kyungsoo.
The door opens again and the lady is back.
“Kim Jongin?”
Kyungsoo mirrors what Luhan had done earlier when Sehun had been called and Jongin gives him what he hopes doesn’t look like a weak smile as he stands and follows the woman out of the room.
-
“Alright, Jongin-ssi. All you have to do is tell us the truth. Easy, right?”
The interrogation room makes Jongin feel oddly claustrophobic. The lamp on the desk casts a harsh light on the table between him and the investigator seated in front of him, and Jongin has to squint to get a glimpse of the man. He’s balding, with a grey suit and ugly patterned pale yellow and blue tie, and Jongin notices his ID tag pinned on the front corner of his jacket, but the light is too bright for him to make out the words.
“Yeah, sure.” Jongin clenches his jaw and then relaxes it, trying to keep calm. He knows he’s not done anything wrong, so there’s no reason for him to feel anxious.
“Tell me where you were the night of the murder.”
“I was...out,” Jongin says, the word nearly catching in his throat.
“Could you be more specific, Jongin-ssi?”
“I was out for a walk.” He clears his throat a little before speaking this time.
“Is there anyone who can verify this?”
“Yeah, my...flatmate, Kyungsoo.”
“You sound uncertain.”
“Sorry, I’m just...kind of in shock about everything. Chanyeol was one of my best friends. I don’t know who would do this kind of thing to him.”
The investigator nods. “I understand. But you have to help me help you, Jongin, and the only way I can do that is if I get facts. So I’ll ask you again, where were you the night of the murder?”
“I was out for a walk.”
“What time did you get back?”
“Late. I....got lost.”
“Ah, yes. Your friend-Sehun, is it?-told me that Chanyeol went to go look for you.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Do you get lost a lot, Jongin-ssi?” The question is asked with a tone that Jongin doesn’t like, and he feels his temper rising.
“I didn’t kill him.”
“I’m not saying you did. Please answer the question.”
“Chanyeol cares a lot. He went looking for me because he was worried. The guys probably let him go because he knows how to fight, and he knows how to use his height to intimidate people.”
“I see. And you didn’t know about this?”
“I only found out when I got back. I never saw him.” Jongin feels the words start to sink in. Chanyeol really is gone. Forever.
The investigator nods solemnly. “Well, that’s all my questions. Thank you for your time.”
“You will find out what happened to him, right?” Jongin says, looking up past the harsh light.
“We will try our best, Jongin-ssi.”
And how long will that take? “Thank you.”
-
The car ride back home is a tense one. Sehun doesn’t fall asleep this time, and Jongin notices that he keeps glancing at Luhan, who keeps his eyes on the road the whole time. Kyungsoo looks particularly exhausted, keeping his hands cradled in his lap, twiddling his thumbs. Jongin has noticed he does this whenever he’s nervous or thinking way too much about something.
“I’m gonna go wash up..” Jongin says, yawning as Kyungsoo opens their apartment door and hits the light switch. Kyungsoo hums in response, tossing the keys into the little wooden bowl on the counter.
The apartment feels oddly eerie and Jongin feels particularly paranoid as he steps into the shower. He knows Kyungsoo is home with him, but it doesn’t seem to shake the feeling that someone or something is watching him away, so Jongin resorts to humming to himself in the shower. He’s not a particularly good singer, but it takes his mind off things. As soon as he’s done with his shower, he towels himself dry and slips on a loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants before proceeding to brush his teeth.
He runs a hand over the slightly fogged up surface and immediately regrets it, because the memory of the mirror back at the house flashes before him again and he winces, shutting his eyes and willing his brain to get rid of it. It’s nothing, he tells himself. It’s nothing. He opens his eyes again and suddenly there’s a figure behind him.
“Jongin?”
He jumps and turns around, nearly crying out. Kyungsoo flinches, eyes wide, clutching a towel and his pajamas in his arms. After a moment Jongin sighs, letting go of the sink he’d gripped onto in his panic and promptly finishes brushing his teeth.
“You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Sorry,” Kyungsoo says, giving him an apologetic smile through the mirror. Jongin finishes rinsing his mouth and gives Kyungsoo a quick kiss on the lips, chuckling and feeling his chest swell with pride at the blush that comes to his boyfriend’s cheeks.
“Apology accepted.” He makes sure to pat Kyungsoo’s butt as he makes his way out, earning an undignified squeak from the older. Jongin laughs as Kyungsoo shuts the door.
The both of them lie awake that night, Kyungsoo playing with the hem of Jongin’s shirt. Jongin’s chin is resting against Kyungsoo’s forehead, and every now and then he dips his head down to press a loving kiss to the skin.
“Jongin...?”
“Yeah?”
“I kind of...miss Chanyeol.” The way Kyungsoo says it has this childish simplicity that makes Jongin’s heart ache. He wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. Kyungsoo nuzzles his face into the base of Jongin’s neck, resting his hand on Jongin’s hip.
“I miss him too,” Jongin confesses.
“Do you think Baekhyun’s okay?” Kyungsoo murmurs into his skin.
“I...I don’t know, Kyungsoo. I-I mean if I lost you...I’d...I probably wouldn’t be able to function again, ever.” Jongin lets out a sad, soft laugh at the end. He wonders if Kyungsoo knows how honest he’s being.
Kyungsoo sniffs abruptly, and Jongin tightens his arms around the older.
“J-Jongin?”
“Yes, hyung?” Jongin asks gently.
“I think I’m going to cry.”
“That’s okay. I might cry too,” Jongin smiles sadly and blinks, feeling the hot tears running down his cheeks. Kyungsoo starts sobbing into his shirt, fingers fisting the fabric, and Jongin buries his face into Kyungsoo’s hair, crying softly with him.
-
“Baekhyun dropped by to see you,” Kyungsoo tells him one day when they’re having dinner, and Jongin had spent the day shopping with Luhan and Sehun. It’s always a terrible idea, because Luhan spends forever picking outfits and they end up walking back and forth between shops a few times, and also because whenever he asks Sehun for his opinion on things the latter just shrugs and replies that he has no preference. Going shopping with them makes him feel like he’s run a marathon, but it helps keep his mind off things.
Jongin looks up and swallows his food before speaking. “To see me?”
“He wanted to apologize, for being so angry at you.”
“Oh...” Jongin bites his lip. “Was he...okay?”
Kyungsoo sighs. “As okay as he can be without Chanyeol.” Jongin reaches over and squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand on the table. The older smiles weakly at him, but it’s still grateful.
“I’ll call him later.”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Is there any more word about the murder?” It still hurts to say it.
“No, not that I know of. As far as I know, without the murder weapon, they can’t do anything.” They eat the rest of dinner in silence, listening to some new indie pop group on the radio sing about how people are better off alone, his shoulders feeling heavier than ever.
He calls Baekhyun later that night, just as Kyungsoo’s turning off the lights outside.
“Hello?” He sounds like he’s just woken up.
“Hey...Baek? Sorry, I can call back later.”
“Oh, Jongin,” he hears the sound of something being shuffled around and guesses it’s Baekhyun sitting up. “No, no it’s okay. We can talk.”
“Kyungsoo told me you stopped by.”
“Yeah...I...I wanted to apologize. I was just being irrational that day.”
“No, no Baek it’s alright. If I lost Kyungsoo I’d probably be a lot worse than you.”
“Yeah, I guess you would,” Baekhyun laughs softly after a moment, but it sounds broken.
“Are you staying with Junmyeon now?”
“Yeah, and Jongdae. His fault, really, insisted I come out here.”
“And how’s that working out for you?”
“It’s alright. Jongdae’s being really nice too. I should record it one day and show you guys,” Baekhyun chuckles and it’s sincere this time. Jongin can’t help but laugh too. The moment doesn’t last though, and they fade into an awkward silence.
“I’ll uh...I’ll see you around, then,” Jongin finally says.
“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Jongin.”
“Night, Baek.”
“Oh and Jongin?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. Really.” Jongin smiles.
“Sleep tight, Baek,” he says before he hangs up. Kyungsoo plops down on the bed next to him, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder. “Good?” He asks.
“Good,” Jongin says, turning to face Kyungsoo, who looks up at him. Kyungsoo smiles as he leans in and Jongin wraps his arms around him as they kiss slowly, Kyungsoo’s fingers tangling in his hair, tugging gently and making him shiver.
Everything’s good, Jongin thinks.
-
Everything’s good, until Kris Wu’s body is discovered by a couple on a date by the central park three weeks later. Jongin and Kyungsoo are called in again, and the investigators seem to take pleasure in grilling them. The questions are asked at rapid fire but Jongin manages to keep his cool.
“I didn’t kill Kris. I barely even know him.”
“He was Kyungsoo’s ex, Jongin-ssi. Kind of a huge motive, don’t you think?”
“He didn’t hurt me or Kyungsoo. There would be no merit in killing him.”
Kyungsoo, however, comes out looking shaken and broken. Jongin catches him as he almost stumbles out of the room, glaring at the officers before leaving. Kyungsoo’s hands are still shaking by the time they reach the car, so Jongin insists on driving.
”The body of Kris Wu, 22, was found yesterday at the central park, buried in a shallow grave. The last person who is said to have seen him is his secretary. Ms Lee said that Wu left early that day, a while before eleven. Police are still invest-” Jongin reaches over and switches the radio off.
“They think I killed him, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says shakily a few moments later.
“But you didn’t, Kyungsoo,” Jongin finds himself assuring him.
“T-they kept yelling at me...I-I was scared...”
Jongin pulls over and takes Kyungsoo’s hands in his, calming him down. The older stops hyperventilating and nods at the ground, as if in reply to Jongin’s previous statement.
“You’re safe now, okay?” He reaches up and strokes Kyungsoo’s cheek, thinking about how much he has to protect Kyungsoo and how much Kyungsoo needs him now, more than ever, and how much he needs Kyungsoo, too. Kyungsoo rests his head a little against Jongin’s hand, sighing.
Luhan calls him later, after Kyungsoo is asleep. Jongin goes out to the living room to answer it, cup of tea Kyungsoo always makes him before bed in his other hand. He decides to leave the lights in the kitchen off.
“Hello?”
“Did you see the news?”
“Yeah...about Kris...” Jongin slouches on the couch. Something seems to move out of the corner of his eye, but when he turns to look, there’s nothing there. Weird.
“Report said they think his death is connected to Chanyeol’s.”
“What, like a serial killer?”
“Yeah. Crazy, huh?”
“And I just have the best luck to be connected to the both of them...”
“You’re not a killer, Jongin. You couldn’t even disect that frog in biology.”
Jongin laughs softly at the memory. “Kyungsoo had to do it in the end, jeez.”
“Speaking of which, is Kyungsoo okay?”
“He’s asleep right now, so hopefully that’s a good sign. I-” The sudden creak of wood makes Jongin freeze and he sits up, bringing the phone away from his ear. He peers into the darkness, holding his breath, but nothing seems to be moving.
”Jongin? Jongin? You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry Lu. I think I really need some sleep,” Jongin says as he finishes the rest of his tea.
“Sure, sure. You’re still a growing kid after all.” Jongin rolls his eyes at that. “Sleep tight, Jongin.”
“Night, Luhan.”
He leaves the mug in the sink and goes to turn the lights off. For a moment he pauses, turning back and looking around the room. There’s nothing there, but it feels like something’s looking right back at him and he doesn’t know why. Oh come on, Jongin. You’re not a baby. Just get some damn rest.
Jongin walks back to the room in darkness, keeping his eyes on his bedroom slippers. Maybe he should talk to Kyungsoo about moving or something.
-
Jongin wakes up in the house more frequently after that. He tries to count, to mark them down, but whenever he reaches home he always feels too disoriented, only able to sleep with Kyungsoo’s tea and gentle kisses. Each time, he wakes up with different emotions. Rage, apathy, satisfaction; a vicious cycle. They fade quickly as soon as he opens his eyes, but the moment always lasts long enough for him to remember it. The fifth time he wakes up, though, things are different.
The boy in the mirror is not him, even if he looks like him. The boy in the mirror is not him, even if they’re wearing the same clothes. The boy in the mirror is not him, because he has a knife in his hand and a smirk on his lips.
The boy in the mirror is not Jongin.
“You shouldn’t think so much, makes you go crazy,” the image-Kai, he tells Jongin-toys with the blade, running his fingertips over the edge in a graceful way.
“I’m dreaming,” Jongin tells himself. “I’m dreaming.”
“Or having a nightmare. Otherwise known as reality.”
“You’re not real.” Jongin slips a hand up his sleeve and pinches himself, hard. It hurts but he doesn’t wake up. No.
“I’m you, Jongin. Of course I’m real,” Kai rolls his eyes.
“You said your name was Kai.”
The image smirks. “Not very bright, are you? I’m the you you want to be, Jongin.”
Jongin forces out a laugh. “That’s bullshit.”
“Tsk, tsk. Self-denial is a rather deadly thing, Jongin.” Kai spins the knife on his fingers with ease before grabbing the handle and slashing at the air.
“I don’t want to be a fucking psychopath,” Jongin sneers.
Kai laughs. “Is that what you think I am?”
“You’re a killer,” Jongin finds himself saying.
“Clever boy,” Kai nods, “go on.”
“You...you killed Chanyeol.” Images flash before Jongin’s eyes. Chanyeol’s horrified expression as he was being attacked, the very same knife in Kai’s hands being brought down over and over, blood being splattered on the walls...everything. Everything.
“Correction! We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!” Kai wraps his hand around the knife and clenches his fist over it, but when he opens his hand again it’s gone. Jongin registers the feeling of a handle in his hand, and when he looks down the knife is in his hand, except the blade is bloody now. He lets out a cry of horror and throws the knife away to the far corner of the room, gripping his hand as if he’s just touched acid. Kai is laughing so hard he’s clutching his sides.
“Oh, you should have seen your face! God, it was fucking hilarious!”
Jongin growls and lunges, raising his fist and slamming it into the mirror. The surface cracks and Jongin feels the blood trickling down his fingers, the pain almost unbearable. Kai vanishes and Jongin finds himself looking back at a distorted image of his being, a sick feeling growing in his stomach.
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
The sentence surges forth another wave of rage and he punches the mirror again, uncaring if the blood drips onto the floor. He’s not a killer. He’s not a psychopath. He didn’t kill Chanyeol.
The window panes shake as a breeze sweeps through the house, the sound of thunder rumbling overhead. Jongin pulls his hand back then, hissing softly at the deep gashes in his skin. It looks bad, but he decides he’ll survive.
He stumbles out of the house, rain drizzling down. He can’t go back to Kyungsoo, not in this state, especially with his hand. He feels nauseous, feels as if he’s somehow growing weaker with each step, but he forces himself to keep moving forward, away from the damned house that keeps haunting him, that he swears each time he will never wake up in again but he does, always facing the hallway of nothing.
It’s starting to pour now, and Jongin stretches out his hand, letting the water wash the blood away. The metallic smell still clings to his nostrils and he swallows, almost gags, trying to get rid of it but it doesn’t work.
“Hell...” He whispers to himself. The wounds can’t seem to stop bleeding.
“Jongin? Jongin!”
His vision blurs and his legs give way, and Jongin catches a glimpse of a smudge of blonde running towards him just before his eyes close.
-
”Jongin, what are you doing here?” Kris frowns. “It’s late, you should go back to Kyungsoo.”
A pause.
“Hey, Jongin. I’m talking to you! What the hell is wrong with you-Jongin...Jongin put the knife down...whatever it is we can talk about this..Jongin..Jongin, NO!”
“Jongin, Jongin, hey wake up.”
Jongin sits up, gripping the sheets and gasping for air. He finds Luhan sitting next to the bed he’s in, a concerned expression on his face. He sighs in relief. Just a bad dream.
“You were having a nightmare,” Luhan says. Jongin flops back down on the bed, raising a hand to his forehead. He realizes by the slight sting that it’s the one he had injured punching the mirror, only now it’s neatly bandaged. He looks at Luhan for an explanation.
“Yeah, what the hell did you do to your hand? It wouldn’t stop bleeding. You should be thankful I did first aid all the way up to the advanced level.”
“Thanks. It’s nothing, I just...got into an accident.”
“An...accident?”
“Yeah...I’ll explain later, okay?” Jongin groans as he feels the beginnings of a headache coming on and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Okay, sure.”
“Shit, Kyungsoo’s going to kill me...”
“About that...” Luhan starts as Jongin tries to get out of the bed. The latter stops and looks at him expectantly, but he seems reluctant to continue.
Jongin frowns a little. “What?”
“I...I couldn’t get him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he wouldn’t answer his phone. Sehun even went to your apartment but it seemed empty. We called the others and no one’s seen him in forty-eight hours, Jongin.”
The words sink their teeth into Jongin’s being, injecting his mind with a million thoughts. Kyungsoo’s not one to disappear like that, and he always answers his phone or sends a text if he can’t.
“...something about going to investigate..”
“What?” Jongin interrupts, Luhan’s voice bringing him back to reality.
“He...” Luhan sighs. “A few days ago Junmyeon called Kyungsoo to check up on him, you know I mean with Kris and all.” His expression turns grim.
“And?” Jongin presses on.
“He said...Kyungsoo sounded kind of weird. He sounded really bothered, and angry.”
“Angry...?”
“Kyungsoo...was angry about the killings. Which makes sense, right? But then he started talking about how the police weren’t looking hard enough, how they weren’t trying their best.”
“He’s concerned, I guess. I don’t blame him for thinking that way, I mean come on, Luhan. The system is fucked. Half the cops in the city are corrupt, you know that.”
“Yeah but why then? There was no report that day, no calls, no anything.”
“Maybe he was just venting. Sometimes there aren’t any obvious triggers.”
“But then he...” Luhan stops, biting his lip. There’s uncertainty written all over his face.
“Then he what?” Jongin demands.
“He said that...he would take matters into his own hands.”
It feels like he’s been sucker-punched. “What do you mean...”
“I mean that Kyungsoo said that he’s going to find the killer himself.”
“You...you can’t be serious,” Jongin nearly laughs in disbelief. “That’s crazy.”
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
“But what if he did, Jongin? What if he found something he wasn’t supposed to? What if he...” Luhan trails off, the words hanging in the air, in the almost suffocating silence that follows.
It didn’t make sense, Jongin knew that. Kyungsoo isn’t the vigilante type, isn’t the type who would wander out on his own after nine-thirty at night. He has a fear of spiders and can’t stand horror shows, for crying out loud. Kyungsoo wouldn’t go out on his own, wouldn’t visit crime scenes, and certainly wouldn’t go around questioning people about the deaths of victims of serial killers.
Jongin pushes himself off the bed and stands up.
“We have to go find him.”
“Do I call the police?” Luhan asks, following Jongin out the room.
“No point,” Jongin says, grabbing his coat. “Contact the others, tell them to split up and search the city. Make sure everyone’s contactable.”
“Jongin,” Luhan calls as Jongin reaches for the door. The younger looks back at him.
“We’ll find him, don’t worry.”
-
Jongin searches the city on his own, phone in hand, constantly dialing and redialing Kyungsoo’s number, desperately trying to reach him somehow. He leaves a couple messages in the voicemail, but deems it useless after the fifth attempt. He takes a cab as long as he can, and when all the money is used up he searches on foot, craning his neck over crowds, trying to get a glimpse of the fur-trimmed hooded coat Kyungsoo liked to wear out. The grey skies overhead make the day look bleak and unpromising, and darkness seems to come faster than usual.
They split up to the far corners of the city, north, south, east, west, slowly making their way back to center. Luhan gets his friends Yixing and Zitao to help, and they leave the latter with Baekhyun at the apartment. “Just in case he comes back,” Baekhyun had said. Sometimes Jongin will realize he’s been walking in circles, cursing under his breath as he waits for traffic lights to change, sometimes taking his chances and running across. With each minute that passes, he starts to fear the worse, but no, not with Kyungsoo, he’s not going to give up just yet.
Kai’s words keep drifting back to him, weighing him down. He tries his best to push them out of the way, forcing himself to run, but there are no other logical explanations for the flashbacks of Chanyeol and Kris, the knife, the blood, the holes in his memory on the nights where they were murdered, everything.
Jongin’s phone rings just as he turns away from the last block on the street he swears he’s been down twice before. He fumbles with it for a moment before answering.
“Yeah?” He tries not to sound too breathless.
“Jongin? We couldn’t find him anywhere,” Luhan says apologetically. “Have you finished?”
Jongin opens his mouth to say that yes, he has and that they need to check again, just one more time, he’s still out there when he remembers the house. It’s in his area, and no one else knows about it. It’s a long shot, but it’s a hope. He checks the time.
10:48PM
“Jongin?”
“I think I know where he is.”
“What? Where? Do you need us to come with you?”
“No, but I need you to get the police to this address as soon as possible. I think the killer’s going to be there.” He hangs up before Luhan can respond, texting him the address before taking off running.
The street is darker than usual, one of the streetlights seems to have blown. Jongin makes his way up the porch carefully, heart slamming against his ribcage each time the wood creaks, desperate to make as little noise as possible. Kyungsoo is in there, he knows, and if the killer hears him coming he fears something will happen to him. Jongin doesn’t have a plan, because he’s willing to do anything to let Kyungsoo live and leave unharmed. That’s all that’s important.
The door to the house has been left ajar. Jongin slips in and sees the mirror on the floor, the shards of glass strewn about. There’s no blood on the walls this time, but his stomach still lurches at the prospect of coming face to face with a murderer, the man who killed his friends, who has his lover hostage, and who is probably going to be the one who will end his life tonight.
Jongin takes a deep breath and walks towards the hallway, slipping into the shadows. He finds his way to the far end all to well, not bumping into anything, and he finds himself reaching for the doorknob. He doesn’t hear any movement on the other side of the room and he pauses for a moment, fingers on the rusty metal. Then he twists it, pushing the door open, screwing his eyes shut.
When he finally opens them, it takes a while for his eyes to adjust to the dim light only coming from a small window facing him, but when he does his hand flies to his mouth in horror. The room is cluttered with furniture, but there’s a body on the far side of the room, slumped in a corner, and the smell of blood is pungent and definite.
“Jongin.”
The voice comes from behind him and he jumps, whipping around. He finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun, a gun that’s being held by trembling hands, trembling hands that belong to none other than the one who he’s been searching for.
“Kyungsoo,” he breathes in relief and moves towards him, but Kyungsoo surprises him by moving the gun so that it’s in his face again. He’s scared though, and confused, Jongin can see it in Kyungsoo’s eyes.
“H-how could you, Jongin?” Kyungsoo chokes out. “How could you k-kill all those people?”
“What are you talking about, Kyungsoo?” Jongin blinks in confusion.
“Y-you did it! You killed Chanyeol and Kris and everyone!”
“Everyone..?”
Still shaking, Kyungsoo reaches over with one hand and hits a switch on the wall. The light in the room flickers to life, and Jongin realizes with horror that it’s not furniture surrounding him.
It’s corpses. Bodies of people, piled up, laying next to each other, all with stab wounds. Some have flies buzzing angrily around them, some have their eyes closed, some have their faces still frozen in horror, the expression they wore in their final moments of their brutal death. It makes him feel sick, feel faint, and his knees feel weak again.
“K-Kyungsoo?” He says, sounding like a lost child. He watches as Kyungsoo crosses over and crouches down, careful not to point the gun away from Jongin, and he picks something up off the ground.
He balances it in the palm of his hand and Jongin realizes it’s a small, red journal. With a shaky voice Kyungsoo begins to read.
”All are stabbed seven times.
5th July, 2010. Middle-aged woman. Prostitute.
7th July, 2010. Man in early twenties. Drug Addict.
16th July, 2010. Elderly man. Pedophile.
25th July, 2010. Middle-aged man. Drug Smuggler.
2nd August, 2010. Woman in early twenties. Prostitute.
9th August, 2010. Man in late twenties. Procurer.
11th August, 2010. Teenaged girl. Prostitute.
18th August, 2010. Middle-aged woman. Drug Addict.
3rd September, 2010. Middle-aged man. Procurer.
20th September, 2010. Teenaged runaway boy and Park Chanyeol. Dumped Chanyeol by the river.
4th October, 2010. Kris Wu.”
Kyungsoo inhales slowly and closes the book. “You sick, twisted boy. All those people, dead, destroyed by you. Even our friends.”
“Kyungsoo, you have to believe me, I swear-”
“You lied about everything, Jongin. You lied about not knowing anything about Chanyeol disappearing, because you were the one who killed him!” Kyungsoo screams, clutching the gun tighter, knuckles turning white. The sound of police sirens in the distance fill Jongin with dread.
We killed Chanyeol, Jongin!
“K-Kyungsoo..”
“God, you sure played me, didn’t you? All those murmurs of ‘I love you’ and all the times you held me and told me everything was alright...” Kyungsoo clenches his jaw. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Kyungsoo, please! You’re making a mistake!”
Kyungsoo lets out a harsh laugh. “You told me in your sleep, you know! Told me you killed all those people! I didn’t believe you, of course, thought you were just having some weird nightmare...but now I see that you really are a monster.” The sirens are growing louder and louder, and Jongin knows any second that the police will be here.
“I-I never told you but...sometimes you would wake me up at night. Y-you’d have this...weird look in your eyes, and whenever I tried to talk to you..you..you kept telling me to call you Kai.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, as if wanting to get rid of the memory. “I-I refused to believe it...but now..this...everything...” He takes a breath, repositioning the gun, aiming it at Jongin’s head.
In the suspended second, Jongin feels himself being split in two, like his soul is shifting off the axis of his existence, and he sees faces. He sees the faces of people he knows, of Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Luhan, Sehun, Chanyeol, even Kris, and he sees the faces of strangers, old and young, well-dressed and in rags, and the one, final thought he hears passing through his mind is they were bad people, Jongin. They got what they deserved.
“K-Kyungsoo?”
-
Bang.
-
When the police arrive at the scene, they find Jongin, dead, with a gun in his hand and the killer’s log in his other. The case is called to a close and the evidence collected, investigators calling it the most shocking crime this city has ever witnessed.
But no one knows the truth. No one knows that Jongin had been drugged, been taking doses of a hallucinogen this whole time. No one knows that the writing in the log has been forged to match his handwriting, something that took years and years of study. No one knows that Chanyeol had seen Jongin walking to the house in his dazed state, an effect of the drugs, and had gotten too close for comfort. No one knows that Jongin had witnessed the murders, but had not committed them. No one knows that the last memory he had was spoken in a voice that didn’t belong to him.
And no one sees Kyungsoo slip out the back, pulling his hood up over his head, his lips curling into a smirk.
fin.
===
A/N: /evil laugh/
- this fic should also be called the 'don't let beth watch fight club and the usual suspects within the same month' fic, oh and what happens when you listen to the jennifer's body soundtrack and write at the same time.