(fic) the boy who blocked his own shot

[ddankkoma]

exo | one-sided!kaisoo | angst (PG-13)
if it makes you less sad / I will die by your hand / I hope you find out what you want / I already know what I am
word count: 2.1k
for emma/caressingflames

Comments

[ddankkoma]

spot for caressingflames! hope you liked it o////////o

[caressingflames]

/clears throat
WELL
WEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL FIRST OF ALL HERE I AM CRYING AND SOBBING AND ALL THAT STUFF

okay tbh i've been through this (as kyungsoo minus the wedding) so yeah feeling Jongin's hurt just hurts me a lot more AND I JUST

"Maybe in some other universe, things could have worked out differently. Maybe Jongin didn’t confess, and they fell for each other until it didn’t even have to be said and they’d kiss. Maybe Kyungsoo would have said yes, and Jongin would be able to make him laugh and smile and hold him as much as he’d always wanted to. Maybe they were better off as lovers, but here, right now, things were different. "

WWOWOWOWOOW BETH SHOT THRU THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME

i just

thank you so much this was great it was wonderful all the emotions jongin's feeling are so raw and kyungsoo can't help that he doesn't feel the same way and i just

this was great beth really really wow thank you so much i love you <333333

[ddankkoma]

EMMAAAA
cries i didn't know so many people have been through this kind of thing tbh but i'm glad(?) i can relate orz
THAT THING IS SO CHEESY THOUGH LMAO I was writing it like 'I am not following the path of millions of others'
thank /you/ so much okay <3! ilu too ~

[taokrispanda]

This is absolutely beautiful!~
I've been through the exact same thing (except no wedding yet lol) and it is portrayed perfectly :)

[ddankkoma]

ahh thank you so much! yes same for me ;; but i was really worried about being unable to bring the emotions across, i'm glad that you got it though ^^

[taokrispanda]

You're quite welcome, dear~
Oh trust me you did a perfect job :)

[starsthatlast]

WATASHI NO MUSUME

[starsthatlast]

FUCKING DIES AT THIS:

He’s also one of the most magnanimous people Jongin’s ever met, so it’s only natural that Kyungsoo marries him.

Call me a safe bet
I’m betting I’m not
I’m glad that you can forgive
I’m only hoping as time goes
You can forget.

b-but forgetting is the final death ;_; cries beth bb, the you can forget got me in the gut so hard ;__; idk i feel this sudden... immense surge of... thing in me so yeah imma just.... go away for a while now.

[ddankkoma]

sigh the song lyrics are so very depressing u______u BUT THEY FIT SO WELL I WAS LIKE 'MUST. USE.'
I'M SORRY MAMA /cuddles you (but I'm glad you spotted the 'you can forget' heh)
:c i love youuuuu

[starsthatlast]

if u love mama u will write a sequel whereby kyungsoo realises that he loved jongin all along and they're already old and wrinkly and dying and junmyeon had already gone back to the angels and then kyungsoo sends jongin who has long fallen out with him for a few months (or years) a note saying he wants to meet his childhood playmate and then jongin goes and they're just so old and broken but still standing somehow and then they talk and regret over lost days and the Moments That Could Have Been and then they just sit like this together forever until someone finds them on the park bench the next day and they never move again.

[ext_2055873]

can't rmb my lj username omg /loser

really beautifully written, beth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i couldn't even be angry at kyungsoo for being such a meanie. idk why it's just /kyungsoo/ being lovable and no one can ever dislike him

JONGIN IT'S OKAY I'LL KEEP YOU COMPANY

[ddankkoma]

LOL it's alright ㅋㅋ
thank you so much T^T yeah I wanted that to be kind of a thing, like a little more realistic cause people don't always fall apart? it's actually more painful to stay by them tbh orz so yeah u_____u i am sorry jongin lmao

[paradisist]

omg you just broke my heart iN THE SUBTLEST WAY POSSIBLE?!
I'm just reading reading and at the start the rejection was so quiet and almost calmly put that I actually forgot how much it'd hurt. And then as people came and went and Jongin always stayed, having to be happy for Kyungsoo yet constantly hurting because he will always be close but not close enough...

That last line btw, and all the breaks with the song lyrics are so meaningful. I listened to this song before that's why the title drew me in and although i can't remember what it sounds like the title is enough. This fic is enough.

Loved this!
<3

[paradisist]

btw is it just me or does your username look really familiar..?

[ddankkoma]

SWEE I AM DYING YOU COULDN'T RECOGNIZE ME
/holds you/ stop being so qt you're older than me
but anyway yes the song is lovely ;; I should listen to brand new more heh
thank you so much <3