The Rain Hasn't Passed... The Storm's Just Starting [1/8]
Where are you? You were supposed to be here waiting for Daddy to bring me to you. We were supposed to be together forever and ever. Are you gonna pick me up later? You must be because you would never leave me alone with Daddy.
I hope you’ll be here soon. Daddy isn’t very nice. He lives in building full of lots of other people, and he made follow him to his room and told me to stay in the closet. It’s locked, and I can’t get out until he lets me out. He only lets me out sometimes to use the bathroom.
Mikey, I’m so hungry… Daddy said I can’t eat until I can tell him what I want. But I can’t. I don’t know how to tell him that I want Frosted Mini-Wheats for breakfast. He knows I can’t, but he still won’t let me have anything. Once when he let me out to go to the bathroom he went into his bedroom for a while. I had time to get a candy bar from the kitchen and put it in my pocket so he didn’t know. I’ll save if and eat a little bit at a time… I hope I can learn to talk by then so Daddy will feed me.
Stupid. Daddy always calls me stupid. What does it mean, Mikey? Someone called me stupid in front of you once… You yelled at him and told him that I wasn’t. If I’m not, why does Daddy call me that all the time? Every time he talks to me he says that word. Maybe that’s what I am. I’m stupid.
I can hear my tummy a lot now. I already ran out of food. I’m so hungry. Every time I go to the bathroom I drink some of the sink water. It’s not really that cold, but it makes me feel a little better. I’ll be okay until you get here and take me home.
I have a lot of good dreams. They’re always about you. They’re about us back at home together. We’re both happy. You tell me you love me, and I can say it back. I always think it’s real, but I wake up and I can never go back to sleep.
My closet smells really bad now… Daddy didn’t let me out the other day. I was about to go to the bathroom, and someone knocked on the door. It was a lady. She wasn’t as pretty as the ladies back where I used to live. She wore lots of make up and looked like she was about my age. When Daddy saw her, he made me go back to my closet. I heard the bedroom door shut, and they stayed in there for a long time. They made a lot of noises, it sounded like Daddy was hurting her because of the noises she was making, but Daddy was doing the same thing. Why did they do something that hurt for so long? What were they doing, Mikey?
Who made Mommy go away? You only told me that she went away and wasn’t coming back. Daddy said that if it wasn’t for me, Mommy would still be alive. He said that if I was never born Mommy and him would be still together and really happy. I think that I shouldn’t have been born. Mommy, Daddy, and you would be a family if I hadn’t been. I’m sorry for ruining everything.
I sleep more now. It makes me forget that my tummy growls. And I get to see you more. I still dream about you a lot, Mikey. When you come and get me, hopefully I’ll be able to talk and tell you about them. There’s so much to tell about.
Daddy told me that we’re gonna live somewhere else from now on. He never unpacked my box when we got here so all he had to do was pack his clothes and other stuff. We got into his car (it was a different car than the one he brought me to, it looked really new) and left.
The car trip was really nice, Mikey. Daddy was really nice to me and stopped at food places to let me eat. He bought me new clothes and everything. When a lot of people were around, he put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me.
Maybe things are gonna be better now. I still want to be with you, but if I can’t at least I’m with Daddy. He won’t hurt or be mean to me anymore. I’m sure he won’t.
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