round 06, challenge four: results
round 06, challenge four: eliminations
#02 (-03) for hire by birdsofamerica
#05 (-02) Subject to Change by niyaowo
round 06, challenge four: people's choice
#01 (+02) all fairy tales are fractured by gdgdbaby
round 06, challenge four: tallies
Round Six, Challenge Four
1. all fairy tales are fractured by gdgdbaby
2. for hire by birdsofamerica
3. kill switch by geuraee
4. Doctor Feelgood by misplacebaggage
5. Subject to Change by niyaowo
6. Break by subtleslide
7. Multitudes by supportingly
round 06, challenge four: elimination comments
#01 - As much as I enjoyed the writing, I felt the payoff didn't justify the buildup (and vice versa). The conclusion seemed too rote.
#02 - I found the wording to be quite awkward.
#02 - This honestly came down to me liking the other entries more. While it works as a quick glimpse into Amber's life and at this embarrassing job of hers, some of the sentence structure -- specifically the 'said's -- seemed unnecessary and repetitive, like they could have been cut out. So, inefficient use of the word limit in my opinion.
#02 - the construction of the drabble, like the scenes used to portray it, was awkward. overall the drabble seemed a bit sloppy and pointless.
#03 - this theme is so overdone that it borders on trite. the personality/persona dichotomy feels like every kpop writer's go-to plot if they want to write about something dark. not only that, but this piece was quite melodramatic, and rife with tired imagery: white walls, trepidation in someone's eyes, facades, pangs of regret... i found it all a bit over-the-top.
#04 - imo there was a lot of telling. the story is a bit boring and overused.
#04 - While this entry met all of the word prompts, it just didn't feel coherent? I don't understand why the twins are in a hospital for "Magical Malady" when there's nothing peculiar about them other than the fact that they often have sex with each other, nor do I understand why it ends the way it does. It feels like a set-up for something bigger, but that just means it has trouble working alone as a drabble.
#05 - the beginnings of an idea are present, but the drabble itself doesn't seem well-developed or fleshed out enough for it to read as a complete piece. the fact that you had 100 words leftover that you could've used makes me wonder why you chose to keep it at 100 and not expand it; even 50 more words to tease your intention out would've been helpful.
#05 - i'm afraid i don't really understand what's happening here, or what i'm supposed to be taking away from this fic. i liked where the first two paragraphs were headed, but then that narrative was interrupted, and the rest of the drabble didn't seem to line up with it. i'm not sure if the author meant for this to be funny, dramatic, thought-provoking, etc? i really don't find it any of the above though; i was left simply confused, even after rereading several times.
#05 - This was cute but insubstantial, and I wasn't sure if it was meant to be humorous or serious. If satire is indeed what you're going for (as I suspect), I think the poetic tone at the beginning could be made more obviously flowery, to make the moment that it's undermined stand out more.
#06 - awkward phrasing aside, the decision to make this an au is baffling to me. you could've easily set it in the real world and achieved a similar effect without needing to waste words and details on making it into a star trek au.
#07 - it's shallow and pointless, like it doesn't know where it's going or what it's trying to say. i would have wanted more substance and less pretty sentences (with random chinese thrown in like a decoration)
round 06, challenge four: favorite comments
#01 - I thought it was quite a clever use of the prompt.
#01 - this was a good use of the prompt, and a wonderfully self-contained narrative to boot. perhaps the criticism could be made that the dialog was a little too... obvious? as in, it wasn't very subtle about revealing the theme/moral. but overall i really liked it, it told an interesting story whose conciseness was an asset rather than a liability.
#01 - The pacing was just right. Even if there was some world-building to be done in so few words, the author was able to do this well. Also, the twist at the end was like taking a punch to the gut. -- TIEBREAKER
#04 - i really enjoyed the tone of this, and the premise is fascinating! i think the last line could've been used to better effect but on the whole i liked this drabble a lot!
#05 - i love that this is so short, it's really a drabble done right. it's well-written, clever and funny, and it makes a good point without sounding pretentious.
#06 - I enjoyed how subtle this was. I thought it accomplished a lot in 200 words: building an AU, establishing a history, and giving us what's currently happening.
#06 - What I liked most about this entry was how things were revealed. It's just one revelation after another, almost as if there's some sort of snowballing effect which fits the tone and the conclusion of this piece. While I can see where people who didn't know about Star Trek might get lost, as someone who has watched it I liked the references.
suddenburst has been eliminated for using an "extra" skip. trappedintaipei and encodedinme have used their last skip.