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Aug 30, 2004 16:13

I have been a bad, bad girl ( Read more... )

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arwen8 August 30 2004, 00:34:14 UTC
You want me to be honest ( ... )

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sephirah3 August 31 2004, 21:49:43 UTC
Hi Arwen,
Thanks for your support. You're such a strong woman and I long so much to be like you. I should stop feeling guilty, but then, people say things to you like, "you really should never be with the friend of your ex" which enhances one's guilt again. I'm just really worried what's going to happen tonight when I see Damian again. I don't know how he's going to react to me. I did it all to make him jealous, and now I'm worried I'll lose my darling friend...bad move Michelle! I just have to wait and see what he says tonight...and I'm concerned on whether I should ask Damian for Matts number so I can appologise to him too? I'm damned if I do, Damned if I dont!

Anyways, thanks for your love and support...
love,
Michelle

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catchthesparkle August 30 2004, 05:33:10 UTC
Michelle,
It was just a kiss. I think that's harmless enough that you shouldn't feel bad. I'd probably feel guilty myself if I were in your place, but you really have no reason to. You are an attractive, single woman, and kissing does not have to lead to any sort of relationship or commitment. I don't even think this would have to have any effect on a future relationship with Damian if you two got back together someday when you get home from Canada.

Enjoy yourself and being confident and having men like you!!

Kristin

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sephirah3 August 31 2004, 22:09:37 UTC
Kristin,
you're such a sweetheart. Thank you. When I think about it, it is certainly harmless. But then, my mum talks to me today about going out with friends of ex's and how it's totally unethical. That, I agree with totally, but I don't want to date Matt. But i still feel I should call him and see him again, just to appologise. Not sure what to do though, do I ask Damian for his number or do I forget about everything that happened?
I have no idea, I'll just see what my honey says to me tonight. Problem is, I still love him...he's family to me. Strange feeling to have, I know, but that's just how it is for us.

Thanks again for your support though,
Michelle

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catchthesparkle September 1 2004, 07:02:29 UTC
Michelle,
I don't like the idea of dating a friend of your ex either, but I don't think you owe Matt an apology. You told him that you were not wanting to start anything, so he knew that before. I don't know how much of my journal you've read, but I have the strangest relationship with Dave. We are technically exes, but we've never closed the door on possibilities, and are still in love and best friends. It's a strange arrangement, but it's working ok, so I would never think it's weird of you to stay friends and still love Damian.
Kristin

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sephirah3 September 1 2004, 20:15:04 UTC
My goodness Kristin,
you and dave sound a lot like damian and me in a strange way. I didn't know that you were technically exes but still love each other. That what is the "problem" with Damian and me. Our meeting last night was strange to say the least, and I feel totally befuddled by it all. I know we're not together, but in so many ways, we still are.
It'll make more sense when I write my update, or so I hope!

thanks sweetie,
Michelle

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nephrena September 1 2004, 18:47:25 UTC
sorry I've been MIA!
I agree with everyone here... don't worry about it. I mean "A kiss is just a kiss".
Did you have fun teasing? If you did... that's good enough!
Miss ya! cant wait to see ya!

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sephirah3 September 1 2004, 21:22:53 UTC
Hey sweetie,
yeah, I had a ball teasing. And as you will see from today's update, I did kind of get what I wanted. Although I feel really strange today as a result of his guilt. It's like we have so much potential, but can't take it anywhere... I need to go out and damned well experience other men that are in no way related to Damian. I need to do this, for me, for my sanity. It's so hard when you love someone, yet not in love with them. Then again, perhaps it's just our affections towards one another getting confused. I just wish he wasn't so down when I left him last night.
Anyways, enough of my babbling...I'll call you soon.

Michelle

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nephrena September 2 2004, 03:36:46 UTC
sweetie, the best time to get me is between 9.30 pm to 10.30 pm...otherwise i'm not home!
:) xox

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