Tantrums

[moonskulled]

I used to be a patient person, but who am I kidding... it just isn't there anymore. I am trying really hard though. I gave Seth a time out today, not even two hours after he woke up. What a nice way to start the day off. I read somewhere that the crib is a bad place for them because then they'll associate that place with time outs or something and

Comments

[diamond_eyes18]

This is almost exactly what I do.

[couchtiger]

I have a separate playpen that I keep in the guest room and use for "time out". It's safe and he can throw himself to the ground in there if he wants. The guest room is boring and there is not much to look at or play with.

Before he goes to time out, he gets at least one warning. "Mama told you to stop throwing food. If you throw food again, you will need to go to time out." And if he does it again, into the playpen he goes, kicking and screaming if that's his way. I tell him "you can come out when you are ready to be pleasant." And then I stop in every minute or 30 seconds or so and ask if he is ready to be pleasant and obey. If he can't say yes without breaking down into tears, or if he is not calm, I continue to wait.

It's been several weeks since I had to use timeout at all, though. For a while it was almost every day, but he's starting to understand.

[emstar21]

I just finished reading The No Cry Discipline Solution and it helped SO much for us.. mainly just helping me to understand a little bit better of toddler psychology and how to prevent a lot of the tantrums in the first place. A lot of it was changing MY behavior rather than expecting him to act like a little adult. It's a really helpful book IMO

[marzut]

Ah yes, the self hitting, Tim sometimes does that. These days it seems tim gets a timeout at least one a day, usually more. Terrible 2 hit about a month ago. Most days I tune it out but I have days like you had and I think you handled it perfectly. Putting him in his cot every once in a while is fine. Doing it every time and I think you might get a problem. I'm just hoping he'll grow out of the 'my way or I'll scream' soon. Till then it's lots of 'NO's and standing in the hall (which doesn't seem to be much of a punishment and he finds plenty to do out there.) I try not to let him win but 50% of the= time resort to distraction techniques which feels more like a truce. I think things will get better once they can really talk, a lot of it is frustration. Well here's hoping *L*

[moonskulled]

Well I didn't really ask if my method today was effective or not, or if anyone approved for that matter.

A child this age doesn't understand cause and effect

I know this, believe me. He's not even two yet and we can hardly communicate. I put him there to calm down and have a safe place to vent because he was throwing himself on the floor and has hurt himself that way in the past. I didn't expect him to learn anything from it.

It's perfectly normal and not something calculated he does to annoy you.

I didn't say it was.

As an adult you need to be able to control your own feelings and not "freak out".

Sitting with him calmly is not an option, especially when he thrashes and twists and won't let me hold him. I may not have been patient (for once in the 20 months he's been alive) but I was definitely understanding. I know it sucks for him to not be able to get whatever he wants, but as the adult, I have to set limits.

[moonskulled]

Sorry for sounding so bitchy, I just felt a little attacked, like you disapproved and assumed I expected him to understand consequences or how to push my buttons purposely. I read it and was slightly offended. I didn't want to seem like I did that all the time either! I have so many people suggesting how to handle his outbursts (which are becoming more and more frequent) and I really did try to hold off on giving him time in the crib to chill out. I guess my point is, the terrible twos started for him about three months ago and no method is working at the moment. It sucks!