Giving In (1/1)
Author: serafina19
Title: Giving In
Summary: Tonight was about accepting something that would never happen again. For a while, Oliver was okay with that. Companion piece to One Night.
Rating: PG-13
Dedication: A less late birthday present for scout09, which was apparently the motivation I needed to write this.
Giving In
He knew this was wrong. This was a line that he shouldn't cross. But it wasn't like she was backing away, which pretty much sunk him from the moment everything changed.
After all, the only reason he came here tonight was because he didn’t want to drink at home. He was happy for his friends, but it was another reminder of what he gave up, of how no matter how hard he tried, the man who supposedly had it all... didn't.
It wasn't a surprise that Chloe was in Watchtower, as she practically lived here. That was something else he wanted to fix, but it wasn't like his confidence was at a high at the moment. Just a few weeks ago, his mentality was a lot different. Hell, his mentality towards her was completely different.
When a person attempted a stunt like she did to save his life, things inevitably change. In this case, it allowed him to see her in a new light. Granted, it probably had been building for months, but he didn’t feel it until he took her hands at that coffee shop and gave her thanks for what she had done.
From there, he let a few weeks pass, trying to ensure it wasn't just a phase because this wasn't something that he could afford to take chances with. But the funny part about a person becoming an impromptu drinking buddy was that plans tend to go out the window.
His intentions, however, hadn't changed in the slightest.
Because she knew him. Knew every one of his deep dark secrets. And he liked to think he knew most of hers, as he knew better than to say her cloud of mystery had disappeared entirely. True, it was shrinking, but it still held the pain that was left over from the people she had lost.
It wasn't like that was an overly short list.
Luckily, Chloe seemed to be slowly coming back to them as a friend and colleague, but the idea of building a different kind of relationship with her was another matter. There was no way that he would push it, as she meant too much to him, the team, to do that.
Again, tonight, it wasn't planned. She was there when he walked in, and after a few drinks, she became noticeably frustrated and decided to join him. They talked on the couch, and him being... who he was, he couldn't help but sit closer to her. Oddly enough, she actually returned the favour. It seemed unconscious, so he wasn’t about to tell her what she was doing. But at the same time, being this close to her, he couldn't help but wonder why Chloe had the worst luck when it came to men.
Smart, sarcastic...sexy. That was the dream, wasn't it? Sure, she wasn’t perfect, but who was? Even in her worst acts, she had the best intentions and would go to great lengths to protect the people she cared about. Hell, if she could pull off something like she did for Oliver, he wondered what lengths she would go for someone she loved.
After a half hour and two more drinks, he realized that his thought process was getting a bit… murky. One thing was for sure, he couldn’t sit with her like this any longer and maintain his composure. So he got up, filling up his glass before approaching the console, bringing up the one safe and reliable conversation they had. Work.
At this point, she had a few drinks, so her update, or lack thereof, was more humorous than usual. That was to be expected, because if she had a lead, there was no way that she would be taking a break. Honestly, if anything did catch him off-guard, it was that she did take a break.
Maybe she’s taking the Clark/Lois situation hard too, he thought, knowing better than to speak about it out loud. Chloe insisted her feelings for Clark had subsided, and Oliver believed her, but their friendship was still strained at best these days. And knowing that Clark had come back to his human life because of Lois, despite Chloe’s previous pleas, that couldn’t have been easy for her.
But Oliver couldn’t berate Clark for that without sounding like a hypocrite. Oliver had left her too, something he was trying to make up for every single day. Which seemed to be working tonight, because this was the most relaxed he had seen her. Maybe it was the booze talking, but Oliver liked to think it was more than that.
In fact, he hadn’t even noticed how quickly they had fallen back to more casual conversations. She proposed a toast to their crazy lives, and he obliged, and they simultaneously let the liquor coat their throats.
That almost tasted too good, so he went back to the couch to fill up his glass. She followed suit and for once they both genuinely relaxed, forgetting their screwed up lives, what else happened that night and that their knees were touching. They traded leading the conversation, and it felt like the closest thing to normal he had felt in a really long time.
However, that all changed when they reached for the bottle at the same time. Their fingers touched, breaking the fantasy bubble that surrounded them, reminding him of the reality of everything. Except neither of them moved.
That wasn’t due to a need for alcohol. The bottle was almost empty, and they could have said something or backed away. He kept waiting for Chloe to jump away, but instead, she kept staring at his hand, expecting him to do something.
It felt like some sort of test, one he had a feeling that no matter what he did, he would fail. But he didn’t play it completely safe, deciding to work his fingers through hers on the bottle. That brought her attention up to his eyes. It took everything he had to not kiss her right there because he knew that the way he was staring at her was far from innocent. Not to mention that he knew that subtlety was starting to slip around her lately, so this wouldn’t completely be out of nowhere.
Right?
Because there was something in her eyes, a curiosity trying to figure out what his angle was. That was just the way Chloe was, not that her skepticism didn’t have merits, but he wanted to shut her up, tell her everything. However, he knew that wasn’t an option.
Something else was though, because the way she was looking at him changed, and by the time their hands left the bottle, it was clear that alcohol wasn’t needed anymore. The chess match was still there, both making a subtle movements closer, but it was Chloe who made the final real push before she let a few words slip.
What the hell were interesting words to say before the line was crossed, but fitting to what she thought of herself. How much she felt overlooked, the way she didn't take this seriously. Oliver could honestly blow her mind right now by saying a few words, but he also wanted this. One night of her letting him in like this. Inevitably, she would want to forget about it, insist to him that no one could know, and then go back to isolating herself. It was selfish for Oliver to allow himself to comply with that, but at least he would know what being with her like this felt like.
Besides, it wasn’t like he had much self-control left, and she seemed to be on the same page as him. Although their position on the couch didn’t make for the easiest access, so he pushed them up, allowing them to turn, face each other, their chests touching each other.
There was a second when he thought about backing away, but instead she intensified the kiss, and if it wasn’t clear who was in control before, it was now. Her fingers clutched his shirt, closing the tiniest of distances to allow their hips to collide. That was all he needed to act, as his hands went to her jeans, knowing that he wouldn’t want to fight those later, and they were off before their lips had even broken contact.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have practice at multitasking.
Still, this felt different, a sense of desperation that he wasn’t used to. Not in her, but in him. It wasn’t the first time he felt this way, but it never felt like this. After she shrugged off her jeans from her ankles, he re-focused, practically digging his fingers into her back, ensuring that she wouldn’t back away.
He seemed to catch her off-guard initially, but it didn’t register until it was too late. After breaking the kiss, he moved his lips to suck on the skin of her neck, taking pride in the little sounds that she was tried to repress with little success.
When her head shook slightly, he could tell that she was thinking again, and that was a dangerous path. So he kissed her again, showing that he very much wanted this, but if he was going too fast, he wasn’t about to push things.
Again, she zagged when he expected a zig. Her fingers untucked his shirt, more than willing to claw her nails against his chest. It was hard to hold back his reaction, but she took the distraction to discard his shirt, admire the sight in front of her.
That wasn’t new, but he’d be lying if the way she looked at him didn’t matter. All this time, he thought that she considered him as one of the guys, but he was pretty sure that she wouldn’t look at Bart this way.
He shook that particular thought out of mind quickly, taking them back onto the couch. With some of the discarded clothes, this would be a lot easier, he thought. But as he got in position atop of her, he caught her eyes and froze.
She really was beautiful, even if she refused to believe it. However, he had every intention of showing her what he thought of her body, finding areas that made her tick. As the last of their clothes were shed, a few desires filled as they touched each other’s skin, it almost felt like a dream, but he knew it was real. All of it.
And he was enjoying every minute.
It only intensified as he looked up again and finally saw her, all of her. Sure enough, she was looking at him, analyzing him. It was almost as if she was checking in on him, making sure this was what he wanted. This time, he was pretty sure that his eyes delivered his answer better than his voice ever could.
But it wasn’t long before he cleared his throat, as it wasn’t like that for him. Well, it was, because he wanted this, wanted her, but it wasn’t for the usual reasons. This wouldn’t mean nothing to him, even if it was just one night. However, he couldn’t hold back much longer, so he entered her, slowly, and damn, did it feel good.
“Damn it, Chloe,” he said, unable to hold back his silence anymore.
He didn’t think that she realized it, but him saying her name almost caused her body to shake, and not in an expected way. It was safe to say that was not the reaction he had in mind.
Bringing his head up, he looked at her differently this time, with very different words. “You… okay?”
She was thinking, which caused him to prepare for the worst. Even with a decent amount of alcohol in their systems, he wasn’t about to doubt that she was smart enough to know that this wasn’t the greatest idea.
After she blinked a few times, he thought about letting her off easy, but then she said, "Yeah. It's just... been awhile."
Honestly, it had been awhile for him too. She wouldn't believe him if he had told her that, but that was because context was key here. It wasn't the act itself, but rather the partner involved. The fact that, in so many ways, she was his partner. Again, he couldn’t say that, especially since she seemed shocked enough before.
But then she reached up, taking his hair in her hand and kissed him, with more intensity than before. From there, he felt a strange sense of relief and desire wash over him, and he didn’t doubt her anymore. But it didn’t deny his theory that she would regret this in the morning. That hurt him, but it didn’t stop him from backing away. Not now.
Even if Oliver was playing around with what was left of him, he didn't care. He couldn't wonder what if, he couldn't leave that message with Chloe, even if she knew the truth. The truth that he found himself intrigued by her, attracted to who she was when she let herself relax. Honestly, he was just attracted to her. The fact that she could still look him in the eye and find anything worth saving was just a bonus, because she was the very thing that he didn’t think he deserved anymore.
But she was still here, letting him cross this line with her. And it felt fucking fantastic. He wanted to do this again, hear her say his name like this and make her feel this good. More than that, he wanted the aftermath, the feeling of wrapping his arm around her and keeping her close. Waking up in a bed, not alone, not with a nameless conquest, but with someone who he respected.
Someone he might be falling for.
When she looked at him now, he wanted to stop everything and focus on that. They deserved as much after everything they had gone through, didn’t they? It was wishful thinking to consider that she would want him like this outside of tonight, but now Oliver knew there was no way that he could manage to keep this as a one-time thing. Even if she was set against it, he was intent on finding a way to change her mind. To fight for her, ensure she knew how much she mattered to him.
After all, she was the one who reminded him how to fight for the people he loved.
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: I’d planned to write this since “One Night” was posted, but I couldn’t seem to find the words before now. I’m hoping this is what I need to get my Chlollie muse back, because I do have a few ideas kicking around, but I’ve been distracted by other shows. Most notably, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Agent Carter (all fics on A03). In other words, bear with me… I hope to post more soon.
.
Title: Giving In
Summary: Tonight was about accepting something that would never happen again. For a while, Oliver was okay with that. Companion piece to One Night.
Rating: PG-13
Dedication: A less late birthday present for scout09, which was apparently the motivation I needed to write this.
Giving In
He knew this was wrong. This was a line that he shouldn't cross. But it wasn't like she was backing away, which pretty much sunk him from the moment everything changed.
After all, the only reason he came here tonight was because he didn’t want to drink at home. He was happy for his friends, but it was another reminder of what he gave up, of how no matter how hard he tried, the man who supposedly had it all... didn't.
It wasn't a surprise that Chloe was in Watchtower, as she practically lived here. That was something else he wanted to fix, but it wasn't like his confidence was at a high at the moment. Just a few weeks ago, his mentality was a lot different. Hell, his mentality towards her was completely different.
When a person attempted a stunt like she did to save his life, things inevitably change. In this case, it allowed him to see her in a new light. Granted, it probably had been building for months, but he didn’t feel it until he took her hands at that coffee shop and gave her thanks for what she had done.
From there, he let a few weeks pass, trying to ensure it wasn't just a phase because this wasn't something that he could afford to take chances with. But the funny part about a person becoming an impromptu drinking buddy was that plans tend to go out the window.
His intentions, however, hadn't changed in the slightest.
Because she knew him. Knew every one of his deep dark secrets. And he liked to think he knew most of hers, as he knew better than to say her cloud of mystery had disappeared entirely. True, it was shrinking, but it still held the pain that was left over from the people she had lost.
It wasn't like that was an overly short list.
Luckily, Chloe seemed to be slowly coming back to them as a friend and colleague, but the idea of building a different kind of relationship with her was another matter. There was no way that he would push it, as she meant too much to him, the team, to do that.
Again, tonight, it wasn't planned. She was there when he walked in, and after a few drinks, she became noticeably frustrated and decided to join him. They talked on the couch, and him being... who he was, he couldn't help but sit closer to her. Oddly enough, she actually returned the favour. It seemed unconscious, so he wasn’t about to tell her what she was doing. But at the same time, being this close to her, he couldn't help but wonder why Chloe had the worst luck when it came to men.
Smart, sarcastic...sexy. That was the dream, wasn't it? Sure, she wasn’t perfect, but who was? Even in her worst acts, she had the best intentions and would go to great lengths to protect the people she cared about. Hell, if she could pull off something like she did for Oliver, he wondered what lengths she would go for someone she loved.
After a half hour and two more drinks, he realized that his thought process was getting a bit… murky. One thing was for sure, he couldn’t sit with her like this any longer and maintain his composure. So he got up, filling up his glass before approaching the console, bringing up the one safe and reliable conversation they had. Work.
At this point, she had a few drinks, so her update, or lack thereof, was more humorous than usual. That was to be expected, because if she had a lead, there was no way that she would be taking a break. Honestly, if anything did catch him off-guard, it was that she did take a break.
Maybe she’s taking the Clark/Lois situation hard too, he thought, knowing better than to speak about it out loud. Chloe insisted her feelings for Clark had subsided, and Oliver believed her, but their friendship was still strained at best these days. And knowing that Clark had come back to his human life because of Lois, despite Chloe’s previous pleas, that couldn’t have been easy for her.
But Oliver couldn’t berate Clark for that without sounding like a hypocrite. Oliver had left her too, something he was trying to make up for every single day. Which seemed to be working tonight, because this was the most relaxed he had seen her. Maybe it was the booze talking, but Oliver liked to think it was more than that.
In fact, he hadn’t even noticed how quickly they had fallen back to more casual conversations. She proposed a toast to their crazy lives, and he obliged, and they simultaneously let the liquor coat their throats.
That almost tasted too good, so he went back to the couch to fill up his glass. She followed suit and for once they both genuinely relaxed, forgetting their screwed up lives, what else happened that night and that their knees were touching. They traded leading the conversation, and it felt like the closest thing to normal he had felt in a really long time.
However, that all changed when they reached for the bottle at the same time. Their fingers touched, breaking the fantasy bubble that surrounded them, reminding him of the reality of everything. Except neither of them moved.
That wasn’t due to a need for alcohol. The bottle was almost empty, and they could have said something or backed away. He kept waiting for Chloe to jump away, but instead, she kept staring at his hand, expecting him to do something.
It felt like some sort of test, one he had a feeling that no matter what he did, he would fail. But he didn’t play it completely safe, deciding to work his fingers through hers on the bottle. That brought her attention up to his eyes. It took everything he had to not kiss her right there because he knew that the way he was staring at her was far from innocent. Not to mention that he knew that subtlety was starting to slip around her lately, so this wouldn’t completely be out of nowhere.
Right?
Because there was something in her eyes, a curiosity trying to figure out what his angle was. That was just the way Chloe was, not that her skepticism didn’t have merits, but he wanted to shut her up, tell her everything. However, he knew that wasn’t an option.
Something else was though, because the way she was looking at him changed, and by the time their hands left the bottle, it was clear that alcohol wasn’t needed anymore. The chess match was still there, both making a subtle movements closer, but it was Chloe who made the final real push before she let a few words slip.
What the hell were interesting words to say before the line was crossed, but fitting to what she thought of herself. How much she felt overlooked, the way she didn't take this seriously. Oliver could honestly blow her mind right now by saying a few words, but he also wanted this. One night of her letting him in like this. Inevitably, she would want to forget about it, insist to him that no one could know, and then go back to isolating herself. It was selfish for Oliver to allow himself to comply with that, but at least he would know what being with her like this felt like.
Besides, it wasn’t like he had much self-control left, and she seemed to be on the same page as him. Although their position on the couch didn’t make for the easiest access, so he pushed them up, allowing them to turn, face each other, their chests touching each other.
There was a second when he thought about backing away, but instead she intensified the kiss, and if it wasn’t clear who was in control before, it was now. Her fingers clutched his shirt, closing the tiniest of distances to allow their hips to collide. That was all he needed to act, as his hands went to her jeans, knowing that he wouldn’t want to fight those later, and they were off before their lips had even broken contact.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have practice at multitasking.
Still, this felt different, a sense of desperation that he wasn’t used to. Not in her, but in him. It wasn’t the first time he felt this way, but it never felt like this. After she shrugged off her jeans from her ankles, he re-focused, practically digging his fingers into her back, ensuring that she wouldn’t back away.
He seemed to catch her off-guard initially, but it didn’t register until it was too late. After breaking the kiss, he moved his lips to suck on the skin of her neck, taking pride in the little sounds that she was tried to repress with little success.
When her head shook slightly, he could tell that she was thinking again, and that was a dangerous path. So he kissed her again, showing that he very much wanted this, but if he was going too fast, he wasn’t about to push things.
Again, she zagged when he expected a zig. Her fingers untucked his shirt, more than willing to claw her nails against his chest. It was hard to hold back his reaction, but she took the distraction to discard his shirt, admire the sight in front of her.
That wasn’t new, but he’d be lying if the way she looked at him didn’t matter. All this time, he thought that she considered him as one of the guys, but he was pretty sure that she wouldn’t look at Bart this way.
He shook that particular thought out of mind quickly, taking them back onto the couch. With some of the discarded clothes, this would be a lot easier, he thought. But as he got in position atop of her, he caught her eyes and froze.
She really was beautiful, even if she refused to believe it. However, he had every intention of showing her what he thought of her body, finding areas that made her tick. As the last of their clothes were shed, a few desires filled as they touched each other’s skin, it almost felt like a dream, but he knew it was real. All of it.
And he was enjoying every minute.
It only intensified as he looked up again and finally saw her, all of her. Sure enough, she was looking at him, analyzing him. It was almost as if she was checking in on him, making sure this was what he wanted. This time, he was pretty sure that his eyes delivered his answer better than his voice ever could.
But it wasn’t long before he cleared his throat, as it wasn’t like that for him. Well, it was, because he wanted this, wanted her, but it wasn’t for the usual reasons. This wouldn’t mean nothing to him, even if it was just one night. However, he couldn’t hold back much longer, so he entered her, slowly, and damn, did it feel good.
“Damn it, Chloe,” he said, unable to hold back his silence anymore.
He didn’t think that she realized it, but him saying her name almost caused her body to shake, and not in an expected way. It was safe to say that was not the reaction he had in mind.
Bringing his head up, he looked at her differently this time, with very different words. “You… okay?”
She was thinking, which caused him to prepare for the worst. Even with a decent amount of alcohol in their systems, he wasn’t about to doubt that she was smart enough to know that this wasn’t the greatest idea.
After she blinked a few times, he thought about letting her off easy, but then she said, "Yeah. It's just... been awhile."
Honestly, it had been awhile for him too. She wouldn't believe him if he had told her that, but that was because context was key here. It wasn't the act itself, but rather the partner involved. The fact that, in so many ways, she was his partner. Again, he couldn’t say that, especially since she seemed shocked enough before.
But then she reached up, taking his hair in her hand and kissed him, with more intensity than before. From there, he felt a strange sense of relief and desire wash over him, and he didn’t doubt her anymore. But it didn’t deny his theory that she would regret this in the morning. That hurt him, but it didn’t stop him from backing away. Not now.
Even if Oliver was playing around with what was left of him, he didn't care. He couldn't wonder what if, he couldn't leave that message with Chloe, even if she knew the truth. The truth that he found himself intrigued by her, attracted to who she was when she let herself relax. Honestly, he was just attracted to her. The fact that she could still look him in the eye and find anything worth saving was just a bonus, because she was the very thing that he didn’t think he deserved anymore.
But she was still here, letting him cross this line with her. And it felt fucking fantastic. He wanted to do this again, hear her say his name like this and make her feel this good. More than that, he wanted the aftermath, the feeling of wrapping his arm around her and keeping her close. Waking up in a bed, not alone, not with a nameless conquest, but with someone who he respected.
Someone he might be falling for.
When she looked at him now, he wanted to stop everything and focus on that. They deserved as much after everything they had gone through, didn’t they? It was wishful thinking to consider that she would want him like this outside of tonight, but now Oliver knew there was no way that he could manage to keep this as a one-time thing. Even if she was set against it, he was intent on finding a way to change her mind. To fight for her, ensure she knew how much she mattered to him.
After all, she was the one who reminded him how to fight for the people he loved.
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: I’d planned to write this since “One Night” was posted, but I couldn’t seem to find the words before now. I’m hoping this is what I need to get my Chlollie muse back, because I do have a few ideas kicking around, but I’ve been distracted by other shows. Most notably, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Agent Carter (all fics on A03). In other words, bear with me… I hope to post more soon.
.