Holding On to Laugh Again Someday (1/1)
Author: serafina19
Title: Holding On to Laugh Again Someday
Summary: Chloe sees Oliver at Jimmy’s funeral and decides to confront him before things get worse. AU post S8.
Rating: PG-13
Holding On to Laugh Again Someday
This wasn’t where he should be, standing on the terrace at the clocktower, sipping a glass of scotch. Metropolis had started to recover from the Doomsday debacle, which was promising, but all Oliver could see was the mistakes he had made over the last few months.
Heck, he had barely enough strength to drive to Jimmy’s funeral earlier today, so he had stopped a few rows back, doing little to prevent the few tears from falling. He then cowardly watched as everyone else left the cemetery before getting back into his car, intent of doing whatever it took to forget his guilt.
When Oliver had returned to the clocktower, he stripped down, having a feeling that he would want nothing to do with that suit ever again. Then he just stood in the shower, letting the water rush over him. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but he knew that he couldn’t keep living like this. So he turned off the water, ready to pack a bag and say goodbye to Metropolis for good.
However, upon seeing his reflection in the mirror, he had stopped. His face hadn’t changed much, but beneath the surface, Oliver almost didn’t recognize himself. He felt his fingernails squeezing against his palm, but he kept his cool long enough to not break the glass in front of him. Moving into the bedroom, Oliver had grabbed a white shirt from his closet and did up a couple buttons, not caring that he hadn’t matched them up correctly.
From there, he had packed his bag, grabbed a pair of boxers and sweatpants to wear, before returning to his main room to place the bag near the elevator. That was when he noticed his liquor cabinet and he poured his first glass of scotch, downing it almost instantly. After all, it would take reviving some of his old habits to feel that kind of numb again. But if he had to be honest, that feeling was almost welcome compared to the pain he felt in his chest. So he filled up his glass again and walked towards the terrace to remind himself of what he was partially responsible for.
The sun was beginning to set when he arrived at the terrace, and Oliver found that fitting. With one arm draped over the railing, he swallowed hard, hating that all of his hard work had come to this. Chaos, buildings damaged, innocent lives lost or destroyed. Green Arrow was supposed to make things better, but Oliver saw now that his vision had been cloudy for a long time.
He had blurred the lines between hero, vigilante and criminal before with Lex, but this time, Oliver had betrayed his friends. Time after time, when the tough call had to be made, he found a way to make the wrong decision. So who was he kidding? He really had no business trying to lead people in making the world a safer place to live in. Not now, maybe not ever.
After another sip of his single malt, Oliver paused to feel the alcohol on his tongue before swallowing. It did nothing to dull the pain, it never did, but it was nice to feel a hint of something other than guilt.
“Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?”
His head whirled around at the sound. Oliver almost couldn’t believe it when he heard her voice, but sure enough, there Chloe was, at the doorway of his terrace eyeing his drink. She hadn’t changed her clothes since the funeral, but her make-up looked refreshed. He wished he could say the same for the expression she gave him, but considering current circumstances, that was understandable.
“What are you doing here?” he finally asked.
“I could ask you the same question,” she replied as she shrugged off her coat to lay over one of the deck chairs.
Chloe wasn’t an idiot, she knew this was where he lived, that he reminisced out here on more occasions than just tragedies. But after watching him for the last few minutes, the way he held his glass, she knew Oliver was not okay. Combine that with his suitcase next to the elevator and she could tell he was on the brink of doing what many people had already done.
That realization did little to mask the way the air seemed to suffocate Chloe, no matter where she was. Foolishly, she had offered to host Jimmy’s family after the funeral and for an hour, she did her best to be the gracious hostess, but people kept asking her how she was doing, if she and Jimmy were on good terms before he died. Jimmy, not Henry, which seemed strange, especially with his brother there, but she never called them on it. It wasn’t her place, especially since she could only answer their question with lies, not because the truth was complicated, but because she actually couldn’t say it out loud.
Eventually, those questions became too much for her, so Chloe stormed out of the Talon, screwing the consequences to drive to the one person who was feeling about the same as her. Still, she took a deep breath as she walked up to stand next to Oliver, praying that it would help clear the tension she felt in her lungs. No such luck, as her exhale was especially shaky.
“Chloe, I’m so-“
“Don’t, please,” she interjected, as she had had enough with apologies today and honestly, Chloe didn’t feel like she deserved them. Not when she felt responsible for bringing Jimmy into this mess. "That's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here?" Oliver asked, because he thought she was supposed to be with her family, with the people she could actually rely on. Anyone other than him, really.
Chloe understood that, but there was something she couldn’t let slide.
"Did you honestly think I couldn't see you at the funeral?" she asked. Granted, he did almost get away with it, but she had made one last glance at where Jimmy was buried and saw Oliver across the cemetery. Part of her wanted to storm over, ask him what had caused him to be so afraid of his own friends. Now, she knew that she made the right call in walking away because it wasn’t fear that kept him away, it was shame.
Although hearing him chuckle in response was encouraging, as that meant at least a sliver of his sense of humour remained. “You were probably the only one," he said.
"Sobriety helps with that," she said, taking the glass from Oliver’s hand. She saw his eyes narrow in response, but she still decided to take a big sip. She was intent on staying sober before, but now, Chloe didn’t care and she knew that Oliver wasn’t going to blame her for wanting a drink.
However, she wasn’t about to lose sight of why she had to made her presence known. “You can’t be this guy right now.”
Oliver watched her walk the glass over to the table. "I don't know if you haven't noticed,” he said, “but I kind of betrayed everyone."
She threw her hands up in the air as she turned around. "Join the club, Oliver. That doesn't mean I'm letting my vices get the best of me."
He pushed himself from the railing, intent on getting his glass back, as holding onto that glass kept him from doing something more drastic. “Why not? No one would blame you."
"He would," Chloe fired back, ensuring that his path was blocked. Not that it mattered, because her words had stopped Oliver in his tracks.
She knew it sounded silly, but she also knew that Jimmy wouldn't want her to dwell on his death, not when he knew what she did for a living before he died. Especially not after he sacrificed his life for her.
Oliver didn't see it that way. "He's gone, Chloe."
Chloe scoffed, biting the inside of her bottom lip to keep herself from showing more emotion than what was necessary. Eyeing the glass again, she realized that there was an easier solution to this problem. After downing the rest of the glass, she slammed it down on the table. "I'm aware of that, thank you."
He tilted his head slightly, recognizing that this wasn’t the Chloe he saw earlier today. "What changed since the funeral to make you so confident about this team? How can you just… push past what happened?”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” she said, shaking her head as she stared at the skyline, noticing a particular building in the distance. “I’m not about to forget that I failed Jimmy, the team, and just about everything I believe in.”
The saddest part was that she didn’t regret many of her decisions. Even if she could do it all over again, with a better understanding of Davis, a stronger idea of how Jimmy would take the truth, Chloe understood the dark side of using the Legion ring. Things hurt enough right now, so there was no way she would risk them getting worse.
Especially since they had technically succeeded in their mission. That was the bittersweet silver lining that Chloe held onto on days like this. She was far from being okay, but she let herself believe that things would improve over time. Unfortunately, it looked like Oliver had lost sight of that.
“Ollie, we’re still here,” she said, approaching him. “What we are trying to do, we're not done. Except no one else sees how lost you are.”
Oliver felt speechless, because he had never anticipated that Chloe would continue to find a way to hope. Or why she was wasting her breath on him.
After shaking his head, he attempted to walk past her. “You should focus on yourself.”
He only got one step in before she grabbed his arm to hold him in place. Oliver considered fighting her grip off, but based on how her fingers squeezed against him, he could tell how determined she was, so he stopped walking and met her eyes.
“If we do that, then we’ll lose this team more than we already have,” she said, successfully pushing back the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. “I have little doubt that Bart and Dinah are gone now that the funeral is over and I can’t bring them home on my own. I need you.”
Seeing that expression almost broke him. She really meant it, but the guy she wanted didn’t exist anymore. “No you don’t,” he said, dipping his head in shame.
Chloe released his arm to walk in front of him. She touched her fingers to his chin, hoping he would look at her again. “We can’t win without taking knocks sometimes, Ollie. More importantly, I believe we can learn from this, become stronger as a team.”
Eventually, Oliver’s shocked eyes threw her resolve, so she dropped her hand to her side and took a couple of steps back. She let out a chuckle as she looked out towards the city again. “Heck, even Jimmy and I evolved from our failures… and in his final moments, he gave me something."
"What?"
She gestured her head towards the skyline, to the building where she had held Jimmy for the last time. "A new headquarters. When Jimmy bought it, it was supposed to be a new home, something to represent our future. Now, because he didn't have the heart to sell it and he left it in my name… that can finally happen.”
It took Oliver a second to realize where she was referring to, but when he did, he shook his head again. "Chloe, there is no way I'm letting you set -"
"You can't do anything about it,” Chloe interjected. “With or without you… with or without your money… I'm doing this for the team.”
Because Isis was in terrible shape and she was incredibly behind on payments. True, this building wouldn't relieve that particular financial burden, but she refused to let Jimmy’s last attempt at an olive branch go to waste.
She also didn’t want to be ungrateful for his effort in saving her life. For ending Davis’ life. It took a few days for that fact to sink in, but she was ready to live again. And if that meant snapping the team out of this funk, then so be it.
So she hardened her expression as she looked at its leader. “But until that day comes, I refuse to let you give up." When that admission was met with silence, she pressed on, “Because you are still a hero, Oliver.”
Chloe lifted her hand to rest it over her heart. “We might make mistakes, but that doesn’t change what’s in here,” she said, tapping her hand against her chest a couple times. “Besides, you still look at me like I’m worth saving and I’m more responsible for this mess than you are.”
“Except you’re the only one suffering consequences,” he replied, taking an unconscious step towards her. “Not to mention that you had the best intentions for what you did.”
So that’s what it is, Chloe thought, as she was wondering why Oliver was punishing himself this much. It wasn’t a promising reason, but it was a reason she had a prepared response for.
However, she did little to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “I disagree, because we both made selfish decisions that hurt the people we care about. As for consequences, if I was the only one suffering, I’d be satisfied.”
Because Chloe knew that she could recover from this. It would be hard, but she had gone through enough hardships in the past to know her habits in situations like this. But she couldn’t do this alone and she was running out of allies.
She had offered for Dinah and Bart to come to the Talon after the funeral, but they both gave flimsy excuses, cementing that they weren’t going to stick around for long. Dinah leaving she had expected, but the look Chloe saw in Bart’s eyes at the funeral was an expression she never wanted to see again. Victor and AC had also gone radio silent, which made things worse because she wasn’t sure if it was out of guilt of not being in Metropolis to fight Doomsday or pity for her situation.
“But that’s not what’s happening, because everyone is full of self-doubt,” she said, “and running off to Mexico or wherever you can find the right alcohol to drown your sorrows with, that’s not going to help when the next threat hits Metropolis. It’s not even going to help you forget the pain you’re feeling right now.”
More than anything, Oliver wanted to believe her, to believe that he could help her. But he had travelled down this path for a long time, and it was getting harder to believe that he could turn this around. “What if you’re wrong about me?”
“I’m not,” she replied without hesitation. “All this…. it’s all in your head. I’m willing to hit you with a three ton truck if that’s what it takes for you to see it.”
A strange analogy, but Oliver grinned slightly at the sentiment. However, it soon fell as he watched Chloe shrug and dip her head.
“Plus, you’re still here,” she said, regretting the words the moment she said them out loud, as it brought forth memories that she was trying to bury and it wasn’t relevant to this particular conversation.
Unfortunately, it was too late to take those words back, and Oliver’s head had jerked back in response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She knew that he was planning to leave, and it wasn’t like she was alone. Sure, Clark took a similar stance to him at the funeral, but he was Chloe’s best friend and that relationship would repair itself. Not to mention Lois, who -
That can’t be right, he thought, but he knew it was. Lois wasn’t at the funeral, which he couldn’t explain, but that didn’t help either of them right now. Not when he noticed that Chloe had started to cry.
Despite her best efforts, a couple of tears finally got loose and Chloe let them fall. All her life, she had gotten used to people leaving her life. Her mom, Pete, Lana were just the tip of the iceberg. Just a few months ago, she was willing to give up her life to save the people she cared about. Chloe never thought it would lead to losing the people closest to her, whether through disappearing acts or death.
“Clark’s phone is out of service,” she said, not wanting to add the fact that she had seen him cowardly leave the funeral too. “And Lois is missing.”
She certainly wouldn’t have thought that the last person in Metropolis that she could rely on would be Oliver. He had access to a private jet, so she figured he would have gotten out of dodge as soon as he could. In fact, she had come all this way expecting not to find him here. But that wasn’t the case, and for some reason, Chloe hoped that meant the team wasn’t as dead as she thought.
It was that hope that drove her on, helped her to stand her ground as she let Oliver see her tears. However, she had to keep him focused, because this visit wasn’t about her. She didn’t want him to stay for her, that was selfish and she had learned from that mistake. The reason she was here, the real reason was because she needed Oliver to remember that Green Arrow was a part of him, regardless of whether or not he wanted to believe it right now. She had to believe that things would be better someday, but the team needed its leader to let that someday happen.
As she brought her head up, her tears had dried and her breathing had started to come easier than before. He was still staring at her with a conflicted look in his eyes, but she understood that. No matter what she said, Oliver still believed that he had lost his privilege for redemption. Chloe wasn’t sure how she could change his mind, but she had to try. She couldn’t lose him too.
“We can’t save everyone, you know that better than most,” she said, hoping that sticking to basic truths would help him understand why she was so determined for him to snap out of this. “Yes, this stings right now, but you have to keep fighting. If you don’t, you’ll just end up with your face in the gutter … and even you can’t tell me that’s a better option than continuing what we do.”
Still no response from Oliver, and Chloe wasn’t sure what that meant. She could feel her fingers tingling, but she squeezed them into a fist, hoping her nerves wouldn’t show in her face.
“I mean, it’s your life, but despite your mistakes and our recent failures as a team, there is still something to live for. All I’m asking is that you give yourself another chance to be that hero again.”
This time, as she exhaled, it came out smoother than she expected. Chloe had honestly forgotten what it felt like to communicate with this kind of passion, but it fueled her with more satisfaction than she had felt in weeks. However, she had no idea if it had worked. His silence had continued, and based on his expression during her outburst, there was no reason to believe that it had done any good. So she closed her eyes, unwilling to see the inevitable look of disappointment on his face.
Even if today failed though, she meant every word she said. It didn’t matter where he went, she would eventually convince Oliver that he was still a hero. No matter what it took, or how long it would take. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all, and it wasn’t a surprise that months of misguided decisions would be undone with one pep talk.
With one more deep breath, she was ready to call it a day, not knowing where she was going to go after this, only that home was not an option.
That effort was stopped before she opened her eyes again, as she felt Oliver’s hands on her back, her breath hitching slightly as he pulled her towards him. This was not what she expected, but for once, this bit of contact wasn’t out of pity, spite or guilt. She could feel a bit of relief in his body language, so she relaxed her face against his chest, tempted to return the embrace, but settled her hands on the front of his shirt.
“You really think that guy still exists?” he asked, knowing the answer, but needing to hear it again.
“I know he does,” she replied, still unconvinced that this was happening. But as silence settled in again, she realized that Oliver’s habits weren’t the only ones that needed breaking. Chloe had gotten so used to bittersweet victories or downright failures that she forgot what it felt like to actually succeed.
Because she had done just that. It wasn’t like he was instantly cured, but he was starting to believe the words she was telling him. And as Oliver looked down at the woman in his arms, he was in awe over the conviction Chloe had showed him. He had seen her passion before, her blind determination to do the right thing, but to see it all directed at him was eye-opening. Most importantly, he now knew that walking away would have the opposite consequences than he had hoped. On the other hand, if he stayed, Oliver might actually have a chance to redeem some of his earlier mistakes. That was more than he had a few hours ago.
“In that case, I’m only going to say this once, so let me say it,” he said. When he could feel Chloe nod against him, he continued, “I am sorry, Chloe, for before, for now. I forgot what it felt like to have someone believe in me.”
Oliver loosened his grip on her, leaning his head back to find her eyes again. There were still a few loose tears, so he brought one of his hands up to wipe them away. “I promise,” he said, “we’ll get through this together.”
Chloe tried to smile, feeling a rush of relief come over her. “Thank you.”
~0~
As Oliver watched the sunrise through the clouds, he started recollecting some of the memories Metropolis held for him. There were plenty of setbacks, some uncomfortable experiences, but a lot of good moments too.
For one, he had met his wife in Metropolis and almost three years ago, she stood on this very terrace and reminded him to keep fighting. Back then, he thought that she had no business being as hopeful as she was, but fortunately, he let himself listen to her. That led to him making her a promise that he would keep, to reuniting the team and fighting Zod together. Along the way, things changed between him and Chloe, and while both of them hesitated with the idea of an actual relationship, he convinced her that giving it a shot would be worth it.
Granted, they didn’t think they would be married with a kid so soon after finally accepting their relationship for what it was, but they loved each other so much that getting married just felt like the next natural step. Not to mention that Carter ended up being a beacon of light in their lives, even during their hardest days.
Oliver just wished that his son was a better sleeper sometimes, as he often woke up his mother in the middle of the night. Chloe hardly slept as it was, so Oliver made sure to bring Carter outside this morning, especially since fresh air often helped calm him.
When Carter closed his eyes, Oliver scanned the skyline once more, knowing that he was a very different man than the last time he was in Metropolis. He was a family man, a hero and Queen Industries was stronger than ever. There wasn’t much more he could ask for in life than that.
"You could have woken me up," said a familiar voice.
Oliver turned his head to watch Chloe walk up next to him. "I would have rather that you’d keep sleeping. Besides, it was my turn."
Chloe wrapped her arm around Oliver’s back, grinning at her son, who seemed peaceful in his father’s arms.
"So do you think the world will let them get married today?" he asked.
It was the second attempt for Clark and Lois’ wedding, hence why they had come back from Star City to Metropolis. The team still had their share of foes, but they was determined to get through one day without the world crumbling around them. It hadn’t worked so well last time, but at this point, all they could do was hope that they had learned from their mistakes. At least this time, Oliver could rest easy knowing that he wasn’t a sleeper agent.
"I hope so," Chloe replied, knowing that a marriage license was just a piece of paper, that Clark and Lois’ relationship was stronger than that. However, she also knew what that paper meant to her and Oliver’s relationship, that two broken halves of an eight-and-a-half by eleven allowed her to finally accept her second chance at a healthy relationship.
"Do you remember being here after... ?"
Oliver’s voice trailed, but as Chloe looked at her husband, she realized exactly what he meant. "Yeah, I do," she said.
It felt like a lifetime ago, and in a way, it was. They had gone through plenty since that evening when Chloe had somehow managed to stop Oliver from going over the figurative edge after Jimmy’s funeral.
“You were right, as usual,” he said with a grin. “I did have a lot to live for."
Before Chloe had a chance to reply, Carter laughed, capturing both of his parents’ attention. In that moment, their smiles beamed on their faces, knowing that each of their previous struggles had led them to this moment. And that was just fine with them.
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: So… as usual, this was supposed to be a drabble that got a little out of hand. I considered expanding this even further, but decided against it, especially since I do plan to get back to my WIPs… once I stop finding songs that inspire new stuff.
.
Title: Holding On to Laugh Again Someday
Summary: Chloe sees Oliver at Jimmy’s funeral and decides to confront him before things get worse. AU post S8.
Rating: PG-13
Holding On to Laugh Again Someday
This wasn’t where he should be, standing on the terrace at the clocktower, sipping a glass of scotch. Metropolis had started to recover from the Doomsday debacle, which was promising, but all Oliver could see was the mistakes he had made over the last few months.
Heck, he had barely enough strength to drive to Jimmy’s funeral earlier today, so he had stopped a few rows back, doing little to prevent the few tears from falling. He then cowardly watched as everyone else left the cemetery before getting back into his car, intent of doing whatever it took to forget his guilt.
When Oliver had returned to the clocktower, he stripped down, having a feeling that he would want nothing to do with that suit ever again. Then he just stood in the shower, letting the water rush over him. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but he knew that he couldn’t keep living like this. So he turned off the water, ready to pack a bag and say goodbye to Metropolis for good.
However, upon seeing his reflection in the mirror, he had stopped. His face hadn’t changed much, but beneath the surface, Oliver almost didn’t recognize himself. He felt his fingernails squeezing against his palm, but he kept his cool long enough to not break the glass in front of him. Moving into the bedroom, Oliver had grabbed a white shirt from his closet and did up a couple buttons, not caring that he hadn’t matched them up correctly.
From there, he had packed his bag, grabbed a pair of boxers and sweatpants to wear, before returning to his main room to place the bag near the elevator. That was when he noticed his liquor cabinet and he poured his first glass of scotch, downing it almost instantly. After all, it would take reviving some of his old habits to feel that kind of numb again. But if he had to be honest, that feeling was almost welcome compared to the pain he felt in his chest. So he filled up his glass again and walked towards the terrace to remind himself of what he was partially responsible for.
The sun was beginning to set when he arrived at the terrace, and Oliver found that fitting. With one arm draped over the railing, he swallowed hard, hating that all of his hard work had come to this. Chaos, buildings damaged, innocent lives lost or destroyed. Green Arrow was supposed to make things better, but Oliver saw now that his vision had been cloudy for a long time.
He had blurred the lines between hero, vigilante and criminal before with Lex, but this time, Oliver had betrayed his friends. Time after time, when the tough call had to be made, he found a way to make the wrong decision. So who was he kidding? He really had no business trying to lead people in making the world a safer place to live in. Not now, maybe not ever.
After another sip of his single malt, Oliver paused to feel the alcohol on his tongue before swallowing. It did nothing to dull the pain, it never did, but it was nice to feel a hint of something other than guilt.
“Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?”
His head whirled around at the sound. Oliver almost couldn’t believe it when he heard her voice, but sure enough, there Chloe was, at the doorway of his terrace eyeing his drink. She hadn’t changed her clothes since the funeral, but her make-up looked refreshed. He wished he could say the same for the expression she gave him, but considering current circumstances, that was understandable.
“What are you doing here?” he finally asked.
“I could ask you the same question,” she replied as she shrugged off her coat to lay over one of the deck chairs.
Chloe wasn’t an idiot, she knew this was where he lived, that he reminisced out here on more occasions than just tragedies. But after watching him for the last few minutes, the way he held his glass, she knew Oliver was not okay. Combine that with his suitcase next to the elevator and she could tell he was on the brink of doing what many people had already done.
That realization did little to mask the way the air seemed to suffocate Chloe, no matter where she was. Foolishly, she had offered to host Jimmy’s family after the funeral and for an hour, she did her best to be the gracious hostess, but people kept asking her how she was doing, if she and Jimmy were on good terms before he died. Jimmy, not Henry, which seemed strange, especially with his brother there, but she never called them on it. It wasn’t her place, especially since she could only answer their question with lies, not because the truth was complicated, but because she actually couldn’t say it out loud.
Eventually, those questions became too much for her, so Chloe stormed out of the Talon, screwing the consequences to drive to the one person who was feeling about the same as her. Still, she took a deep breath as she walked up to stand next to Oliver, praying that it would help clear the tension she felt in her lungs. No such luck, as her exhale was especially shaky.
“Chloe, I’m so-“
“Don’t, please,” she interjected, as she had had enough with apologies today and honestly, Chloe didn’t feel like she deserved them. Not when she felt responsible for bringing Jimmy into this mess. "That's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here?" Oliver asked, because he thought she was supposed to be with her family, with the people she could actually rely on. Anyone other than him, really.
Chloe understood that, but there was something she couldn’t let slide.
"Did you honestly think I couldn't see you at the funeral?" she asked. Granted, he did almost get away with it, but she had made one last glance at where Jimmy was buried and saw Oliver across the cemetery. Part of her wanted to storm over, ask him what had caused him to be so afraid of his own friends. Now, she knew that she made the right call in walking away because it wasn’t fear that kept him away, it was shame.
Although hearing him chuckle in response was encouraging, as that meant at least a sliver of his sense of humour remained. “You were probably the only one," he said.
"Sobriety helps with that," she said, taking the glass from Oliver’s hand. She saw his eyes narrow in response, but she still decided to take a big sip. She was intent on staying sober before, but now, Chloe didn’t care and she knew that Oliver wasn’t going to blame her for wanting a drink.
However, she wasn’t about to lose sight of why she had to made her presence known. “You can’t be this guy right now.”
Oliver watched her walk the glass over to the table. "I don't know if you haven't noticed,” he said, “but I kind of betrayed everyone."
She threw her hands up in the air as she turned around. "Join the club, Oliver. That doesn't mean I'm letting my vices get the best of me."
He pushed himself from the railing, intent on getting his glass back, as holding onto that glass kept him from doing something more drastic. “Why not? No one would blame you."
"He would," Chloe fired back, ensuring that his path was blocked. Not that it mattered, because her words had stopped Oliver in his tracks.
She knew it sounded silly, but she also knew that Jimmy wouldn't want her to dwell on his death, not when he knew what she did for a living before he died. Especially not after he sacrificed his life for her.
Oliver didn't see it that way. "He's gone, Chloe."
Chloe scoffed, biting the inside of her bottom lip to keep herself from showing more emotion than what was necessary. Eyeing the glass again, she realized that there was an easier solution to this problem. After downing the rest of the glass, she slammed it down on the table. "I'm aware of that, thank you."
He tilted his head slightly, recognizing that this wasn’t the Chloe he saw earlier today. "What changed since the funeral to make you so confident about this team? How can you just… push past what happened?”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” she said, shaking her head as she stared at the skyline, noticing a particular building in the distance. “I’m not about to forget that I failed Jimmy, the team, and just about everything I believe in.”
The saddest part was that she didn’t regret many of her decisions. Even if she could do it all over again, with a better understanding of Davis, a stronger idea of how Jimmy would take the truth, Chloe understood the dark side of using the Legion ring. Things hurt enough right now, so there was no way she would risk them getting worse.
Especially since they had technically succeeded in their mission. That was the bittersweet silver lining that Chloe held onto on days like this. She was far from being okay, but she let herself believe that things would improve over time. Unfortunately, it looked like Oliver had lost sight of that.
“Ollie, we’re still here,” she said, approaching him. “What we are trying to do, we're not done. Except no one else sees how lost you are.”
Oliver felt speechless, because he had never anticipated that Chloe would continue to find a way to hope. Or why she was wasting her breath on him.
After shaking his head, he attempted to walk past her. “You should focus on yourself.”
He only got one step in before she grabbed his arm to hold him in place. Oliver considered fighting her grip off, but based on how her fingers squeezed against him, he could tell how determined she was, so he stopped walking and met her eyes.
“If we do that, then we’ll lose this team more than we already have,” she said, successfully pushing back the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. “I have little doubt that Bart and Dinah are gone now that the funeral is over and I can’t bring them home on my own. I need you.”
Seeing that expression almost broke him. She really meant it, but the guy she wanted didn’t exist anymore. “No you don’t,” he said, dipping his head in shame.
Chloe released his arm to walk in front of him. She touched her fingers to his chin, hoping he would look at her again. “We can’t win without taking knocks sometimes, Ollie. More importantly, I believe we can learn from this, become stronger as a team.”
Eventually, Oliver’s shocked eyes threw her resolve, so she dropped her hand to her side and took a couple of steps back. She let out a chuckle as she looked out towards the city again. “Heck, even Jimmy and I evolved from our failures… and in his final moments, he gave me something."
"What?"
She gestured her head towards the skyline, to the building where she had held Jimmy for the last time. "A new headquarters. When Jimmy bought it, it was supposed to be a new home, something to represent our future. Now, because he didn't have the heart to sell it and he left it in my name… that can finally happen.”
It took Oliver a second to realize where she was referring to, but when he did, he shook his head again. "Chloe, there is no way I'm letting you set -"
"You can't do anything about it,” Chloe interjected. “With or without you… with or without your money… I'm doing this for the team.”
Because Isis was in terrible shape and she was incredibly behind on payments. True, this building wouldn't relieve that particular financial burden, but she refused to let Jimmy’s last attempt at an olive branch go to waste.
She also didn’t want to be ungrateful for his effort in saving her life. For ending Davis’ life. It took a few days for that fact to sink in, but she was ready to live again. And if that meant snapping the team out of this funk, then so be it.
So she hardened her expression as she looked at its leader. “But until that day comes, I refuse to let you give up." When that admission was met with silence, she pressed on, “Because you are still a hero, Oliver.”
Chloe lifted her hand to rest it over her heart. “We might make mistakes, but that doesn’t change what’s in here,” she said, tapping her hand against her chest a couple times. “Besides, you still look at me like I’m worth saving and I’m more responsible for this mess than you are.”
“Except you’re the only one suffering consequences,” he replied, taking an unconscious step towards her. “Not to mention that you had the best intentions for what you did.”
So that’s what it is, Chloe thought, as she was wondering why Oliver was punishing himself this much. It wasn’t a promising reason, but it was a reason she had a prepared response for.
However, she did little to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “I disagree, because we both made selfish decisions that hurt the people we care about. As for consequences, if I was the only one suffering, I’d be satisfied.”
Because Chloe knew that she could recover from this. It would be hard, but she had gone through enough hardships in the past to know her habits in situations like this. But she couldn’t do this alone and she was running out of allies.
She had offered for Dinah and Bart to come to the Talon after the funeral, but they both gave flimsy excuses, cementing that they weren’t going to stick around for long. Dinah leaving she had expected, but the look Chloe saw in Bart’s eyes at the funeral was an expression she never wanted to see again. Victor and AC had also gone radio silent, which made things worse because she wasn’t sure if it was out of guilt of not being in Metropolis to fight Doomsday or pity for her situation.
“But that’s not what’s happening, because everyone is full of self-doubt,” she said, “and running off to Mexico or wherever you can find the right alcohol to drown your sorrows with, that’s not going to help when the next threat hits Metropolis. It’s not even going to help you forget the pain you’re feeling right now.”
More than anything, Oliver wanted to believe her, to believe that he could help her. But he had travelled down this path for a long time, and it was getting harder to believe that he could turn this around. “What if you’re wrong about me?”
“I’m not,” she replied without hesitation. “All this…. it’s all in your head. I’m willing to hit you with a three ton truck if that’s what it takes for you to see it.”
A strange analogy, but Oliver grinned slightly at the sentiment. However, it soon fell as he watched Chloe shrug and dip her head.
“Plus, you’re still here,” she said, regretting the words the moment she said them out loud, as it brought forth memories that she was trying to bury and it wasn’t relevant to this particular conversation.
Unfortunately, it was too late to take those words back, and Oliver’s head had jerked back in response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She knew that he was planning to leave, and it wasn’t like she was alone. Sure, Clark took a similar stance to him at the funeral, but he was Chloe’s best friend and that relationship would repair itself. Not to mention Lois, who -
That can’t be right, he thought, but he knew it was. Lois wasn’t at the funeral, which he couldn’t explain, but that didn’t help either of them right now. Not when he noticed that Chloe had started to cry.
Despite her best efforts, a couple of tears finally got loose and Chloe let them fall. All her life, she had gotten used to people leaving her life. Her mom, Pete, Lana were just the tip of the iceberg. Just a few months ago, she was willing to give up her life to save the people she cared about. Chloe never thought it would lead to losing the people closest to her, whether through disappearing acts or death.
“Clark’s phone is out of service,” she said, not wanting to add the fact that she had seen him cowardly leave the funeral too. “And Lois is missing.”
She certainly wouldn’t have thought that the last person in Metropolis that she could rely on would be Oliver. He had access to a private jet, so she figured he would have gotten out of dodge as soon as he could. In fact, she had come all this way expecting not to find him here. But that wasn’t the case, and for some reason, Chloe hoped that meant the team wasn’t as dead as she thought.
It was that hope that drove her on, helped her to stand her ground as she let Oliver see her tears. However, she had to keep him focused, because this visit wasn’t about her. She didn’t want him to stay for her, that was selfish and she had learned from that mistake. The reason she was here, the real reason was because she needed Oliver to remember that Green Arrow was a part of him, regardless of whether or not he wanted to believe it right now. She had to believe that things would be better someday, but the team needed its leader to let that someday happen.
As she brought her head up, her tears had dried and her breathing had started to come easier than before. He was still staring at her with a conflicted look in his eyes, but she understood that. No matter what she said, Oliver still believed that he had lost his privilege for redemption. Chloe wasn’t sure how she could change his mind, but she had to try. She couldn’t lose him too.
“We can’t save everyone, you know that better than most,” she said, hoping that sticking to basic truths would help him understand why she was so determined for him to snap out of this. “Yes, this stings right now, but you have to keep fighting. If you don’t, you’ll just end up with your face in the gutter … and even you can’t tell me that’s a better option than continuing what we do.”
Still no response from Oliver, and Chloe wasn’t sure what that meant. She could feel her fingers tingling, but she squeezed them into a fist, hoping her nerves wouldn’t show in her face.
“I mean, it’s your life, but despite your mistakes and our recent failures as a team, there is still something to live for. All I’m asking is that you give yourself another chance to be that hero again.”
This time, as she exhaled, it came out smoother than she expected. Chloe had honestly forgotten what it felt like to communicate with this kind of passion, but it fueled her with more satisfaction than she had felt in weeks. However, she had no idea if it had worked. His silence had continued, and based on his expression during her outburst, there was no reason to believe that it had done any good. So she closed her eyes, unwilling to see the inevitable look of disappointment on his face.
Even if today failed though, she meant every word she said. It didn’t matter where he went, she would eventually convince Oliver that he was still a hero. No matter what it took, or how long it would take. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all, and it wasn’t a surprise that months of misguided decisions would be undone with one pep talk.
With one more deep breath, she was ready to call it a day, not knowing where she was going to go after this, only that home was not an option.
That effort was stopped before she opened her eyes again, as she felt Oliver’s hands on her back, her breath hitching slightly as he pulled her towards him. This was not what she expected, but for once, this bit of contact wasn’t out of pity, spite or guilt. She could feel a bit of relief in his body language, so she relaxed her face against his chest, tempted to return the embrace, but settled her hands on the front of his shirt.
“You really think that guy still exists?” he asked, knowing the answer, but needing to hear it again.
“I know he does,” she replied, still unconvinced that this was happening. But as silence settled in again, she realized that Oliver’s habits weren’t the only ones that needed breaking. Chloe had gotten so used to bittersweet victories or downright failures that she forgot what it felt like to actually succeed.
Because she had done just that. It wasn’t like he was instantly cured, but he was starting to believe the words she was telling him. And as Oliver looked down at the woman in his arms, he was in awe over the conviction Chloe had showed him. He had seen her passion before, her blind determination to do the right thing, but to see it all directed at him was eye-opening. Most importantly, he now knew that walking away would have the opposite consequences than he had hoped. On the other hand, if he stayed, Oliver might actually have a chance to redeem some of his earlier mistakes. That was more than he had a few hours ago.
“In that case, I’m only going to say this once, so let me say it,” he said. When he could feel Chloe nod against him, he continued, “I am sorry, Chloe, for before, for now. I forgot what it felt like to have someone believe in me.”
Oliver loosened his grip on her, leaning his head back to find her eyes again. There were still a few loose tears, so he brought one of his hands up to wipe them away. “I promise,” he said, “we’ll get through this together.”
Chloe tried to smile, feeling a rush of relief come over her. “Thank you.”
~0~
As Oliver watched the sunrise through the clouds, he started recollecting some of the memories Metropolis held for him. There were plenty of setbacks, some uncomfortable experiences, but a lot of good moments too.
For one, he had met his wife in Metropolis and almost three years ago, she stood on this very terrace and reminded him to keep fighting. Back then, he thought that she had no business being as hopeful as she was, but fortunately, he let himself listen to her. That led to him making her a promise that he would keep, to reuniting the team and fighting Zod together. Along the way, things changed between him and Chloe, and while both of them hesitated with the idea of an actual relationship, he convinced her that giving it a shot would be worth it.
Granted, they didn’t think they would be married with a kid so soon after finally accepting their relationship for what it was, but they loved each other so much that getting married just felt like the next natural step. Not to mention that Carter ended up being a beacon of light in their lives, even during their hardest days.
Oliver just wished that his son was a better sleeper sometimes, as he often woke up his mother in the middle of the night. Chloe hardly slept as it was, so Oliver made sure to bring Carter outside this morning, especially since fresh air often helped calm him.
When Carter closed his eyes, Oliver scanned the skyline once more, knowing that he was a very different man than the last time he was in Metropolis. He was a family man, a hero and Queen Industries was stronger than ever. There wasn’t much more he could ask for in life than that.
"You could have woken me up," said a familiar voice.
Oliver turned his head to watch Chloe walk up next to him. "I would have rather that you’d keep sleeping. Besides, it was my turn."
Chloe wrapped her arm around Oliver’s back, grinning at her son, who seemed peaceful in his father’s arms.
"So do you think the world will let them get married today?" he asked.
It was the second attempt for Clark and Lois’ wedding, hence why they had come back from Star City to Metropolis. The team still had their share of foes, but they was determined to get through one day without the world crumbling around them. It hadn’t worked so well last time, but at this point, all they could do was hope that they had learned from their mistakes. At least this time, Oliver could rest easy knowing that he wasn’t a sleeper agent.
"I hope so," Chloe replied, knowing that a marriage license was just a piece of paper, that Clark and Lois’ relationship was stronger than that. However, she also knew what that paper meant to her and Oliver’s relationship, that two broken halves of an eight-and-a-half by eleven allowed her to finally accept her second chance at a healthy relationship.
"Do you remember being here after... ?"
Oliver’s voice trailed, but as Chloe looked at her husband, she realized exactly what he meant. "Yeah, I do," she said.
It felt like a lifetime ago, and in a way, it was. They had gone through plenty since that evening when Chloe had somehow managed to stop Oliver from going over the figurative edge after Jimmy’s funeral.
“You were right, as usual,” he said with a grin. “I did have a lot to live for."
Before Chloe had a chance to reply, Carter laughed, capturing both of his parents’ attention. In that moment, their smiles beamed on their faces, knowing that each of their previous struggles had led them to this moment. And that was just fine with them.
~End~
Sera’s Scribbles: So… as usual, this was supposed to be a drabble that got a little out of hand. I considered expanding this even further, but decided against it, especially since I do plan to get back to my WIPs… once I stop finding songs that inspire new stuff.
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