Comments | serendipidous: i wrote a superman poem...

serendipidous

i wrote a superman poem...

Feb 03, 2006 17:49

...and here it is. turning it in for workshop; this is the (very rough) first draft.

MetropolisAt night the street lamps are nice ( Read more... )

poetry

Comments 5

virtual_rabbi February 19 2006, 17:43:38 UTC

Is it really ablout Superman?

So would you not say "a geometry of things" more than "the geometry..."?
So much more elegant, no?

"The heartbreaking crack of saplings, camelias iced over in full bloom"
yes indeed! very nice....

You could not have seen these lines, written by your obscure correspondent, but I am reminded of them:

I pull down the dead branch of pine
by the driveway, a sharp dry crack
back to the trunk, not a prune
but a severance,

it was also a heartbreak reference...

Shall we agree that great minds think alike?

your pal,
Ben

serendipidous February 20 2006, 01:56:41 UTC

Well. The inspiration was Superman. And I'd like for it to be about Superman. But we'll see what happens. :)

I like "a geometry" much better than "the geometry."

Great minds do indeed think alike. However, we are apparently not ever online at the same moment. I have the bad habit of leaving Trillian running while I'm out of the room, asleep, or playing computer games (or while my husband is playing computer games) and so I didn't get your messages until a few minutes ago--I'm not avoiding you, nor am I annoyed or angry! Just in and out. :) Take care, and hopefully I'll talk to you later tonight.

virtual_rabbi February 20 2006, 15:27:11 UTC

Ok-- I get paranoid about those things--especially with new friends---thnaks for clarifying. Again---I enjoyed your Half Drunk Muse publication. How do you know them? Maybe I will submit something. I liked what I saw there.

Ben

serendipidous February 22 2006, 14:41:25 UTC

No problem with the paranoia! I'm just not (as you'll find) the best person ever in terms of correspondence; I always mean to get back to e-mails but they usually sit in my inbox for a while. I'm trying to get better. And WoW has pretty much taken over my soul, so if I'm not playing it Michael is, and the computer is rarely open. :)

I (think I) forgot to say it in my last comment, but thanks so much for the 21 Stars Review notice! And I started thinking... if you'd be interested, I have a slew of notices that are sent to our CRW listserv that I could forward on to you, for contests, magazines, readings, etc.

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