(no subject)
I hate summer. There is absolutely nothing good about it anymore. Whereas most of my friends are enjoying their days off, hanging out with friends, lounging by the pool, or taking classes part-time, I'm stuck in an office for nine and a half hours a day and am stuck in traffic for another two hours. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning to get ready and get home no earlier than 5:30 at night. I make dinner, get a work-out in, and all of a sudden it's almost 9:30 and time to start getting ready for bed so I can do it all over again the next day.
I hate my job. It is the most dissatisfying thing in the world. I feel like I'm incapable of contributing anything of value to my workplace because I'm never given any work that challenges me at all. So far this summer, I have inserted pictures into a powerpoint file for one of the few co-workers that I actually like and that is actually nice to me, and have done trivial things with target geometry for a forty-year-old man who cannot stop staring at my chest to save his life. I was not hired as a target descriptor, mind you (if I was, I wouldn't have taken the job), and this man is not even on the same team that I work for. He simply likes giving me work so he can stop by my office no less than a dozen times a day to try to look down my shirt. And why yes, sir, I do have a nice chest. And you ARE 40something and married with children. And fat. STOP. STARING. AT. MY. BOOBS.
Out of the four people I share an office with, only one person talks to me regularly. One girl in my room is two years older than me and doesn't speak to me at all. You'd think she'd realize that we probably have quite a bit in common and try to strike up a conversation, but no. When I try to talk to her I just feel awkward, because she sends off that "I'm better than you" vibe. Whatever.
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate. Jim and I were driving through Bel Air when I was going for my follow-up appointment for the wisdom teeth, and it's actually not as terrible as I thought. In fact, if I lived within walking distance of the little downtown area I actually may like living there. But that would mean working at Aberdeen. For people that either don't speak to me or talk to my chest. I wonder if they'd give me work if I were a full-time employee. I'd miss DC a lot, I'd miss the metro a lot. I wouldn't miss the slums. All I know is that I need to apply a bunch of places and pray to God that I get more than one job offer. And then after that, it's attempting to pick the right one, buying a condo/townhouse IMMEDIATELY, and welcoming myself into a life full of debt and house payments. I can't believe I'll be looking for jobs and a place to live in about 6 months.
Some of my long lost friends from UMD keep IMing me and asking me to plan reunions. I feel terrible not doing it, but I have two days a week to myself (and I have plans for most of my weekends, too--I'm booked solid through July 4th). I'm jealous that they have every day to do whatever they please.
I wanted to go to the beach this coming weekend with Jim to celebrate 18 months of surviving each other (haha, just kidding), but then Jess's birthday thing popped up and I'd feel guilty not being there. And now Jim is working on Saturday. But then next weekend we have SAFE stuff, and the weekend after I have to go to the beach with my Dad to make him happy. I hate that I can never put myself first. It's never about me or my happiness, it's always about pleasing others. I think it's been that way all my life. I rarely stop to think about what I want or what would make me happy. When I finally do take the time to think about it and figure it out, I rarely take action for fear of pissing other people off. In the off chance I take action, people normally don't listen anyway. It's a lose-lose situation.
My last day of work is going to be July 31, for sure. I'm giving myself a few weeks to lounge, because I deserve it after putting up with a summer of this crap. That means there are approximately 34 work days remaining of the summer. I have only made it through 7. Good lord. At least interns are touring Adelphi tomorrow and Aberdeen on Wednesday...well, hopefully. Everything is so disorganized that we never got a final itinerary, but we found a tentative one online. We'll be standing in a parking lot waiting for a bus that may never come. What a party. If it doesn't come, I think I'll die. If it does, I'm getting paid for a 9.5 hour day and will be at my desk for only an hour.
If I weren't in such dire need of money (or of a job upon graduation), I'd make tomorrow my last day. Funny story- a CS gig was offered at UMD. $20 an hour. That's more than I make at ARL. It was part-time, but hell, I could've worked part-time and made what I'm making while working FULL-time. I was pissed. C'est la vie.
I hate my job. It is the most dissatisfying thing in the world. I feel like I'm incapable of contributing anything of value to my workplace because I'm never given any work that challenges me at all. So far this summer, I have inserted pictures into a powerpoint file for one of the few co-workers that I actually like and that is actually nice to me, and have done trivial things with target geometry for a forty-year-old man who cannot stop staring at my chest to save his life. I was not hired as a target descriptor, mind you (if I was, I wouldn't have taken the job), and this man is not even on the same team that I work for. He simply likes giving me work so he can stop by my office no less than a dozen times a day to try to look down my shirt. And why yes, sir, I do have a nice chest. And you ARE 40something and married with children. And fat. STOP. STARING. AT. MY. BOOBS.
Out of the four people I share an office with, only one person talks to me regularly. One girl in my room is two years older than me and doesn't speak to me at all. You'd think she'd realize that we probably have quite a bit in common and try to strike up a conversation, but no. When I try to talk to her I just feel awkward, because she sends off that "I'm better than you" vibe. Whatever.
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate. Jim and I were driving through Bel Air when I was going for my follow-up appointment for the wisdom teeth, and it's actually not as terrible as I thought. In fact, if I lived within walking distance of the little downtown area I actually may like living there. But that would mean working at Aberdeen. For people that either don't speak to me or talk to my chest. I wonder if they'd give me work if I were a full-time employee. I'd miss DC a lot, I'd miss the metro a lot. I wouldn't miss the slums. All I know is that I need to apply a bunch of places and pray to God that I get more than one job offer. And then after that, it's attempting to pick the right one, buying a condo/townhouse IMMEDIATELY, and welcoming myself into a life full of debt and house payments. I can't believe I'll be looking for jobs and a place to live in about 6 months.
Some of my long lost friends from UMD keep IMing me and asking me to plan reunions. I feel terrible not doing it, but I have two days a week to myself (and I have plans for most of my weekends, too--I'm booked solid through July 4th). I'm jealous that they have every day to do whatever they please.
I wanted to go to the beach this coming weekend with Jim to celebrate 18 months of surviving each other (haha, just kidding), but then Jess's birthday thing popped up and I'd feel guilty not being there. And now Jim is working on Saturday. But then next weekend we have SAFE stuff, and the weekend after I have to go to the beach with my Dad to make him happy. I hate that I can never put myself first. It's never about me or my happiness, it's always about pleasing others. I think it's been that way all my life. I rarely stop to think about what I want or what would make me happy. When I finally do take the time to think about it and figure it out, I rarely take action for fear of pissing other people off. In the off chance I take action, people normally don't listen anyway. It's a lose-lose situation.
My last day of work is going to be July 31, for sure. I'm giving myself a few weeks to lounge, because I deserve it after putting up with a summer of this crap. That means there are approximately 34 work days remaining of the summer. I have only made it through 7. Good lord. At least interns are touring Adelphi tomorrow and Aberdeen on Wednesday...well, hopefully. Everything is so disorganized that we never got a final itinerary, but we found a tentative one online. We'll be standing in a parking lot waiting for a bus that may never come. What a party. If it doesn't come, I think I'll die. If it does, I'm getting paid for a 9.5 hour day and will be at my desk for only an hour.
If I weren't in such dire need of money (or of a job upon graduation), I'd make tomorrow my last day. Funny story- a CS gig was offered at UMD. $20 an hour. That's more than I make at ARL. It was part-time, but hell, I could've worked part-time and made what I'm making while working FULL-time. I was pissed. C'est la vie.