(no subject)
I'm going to kick myself tomorrow for staying up to write this. I'm already exhausted, but I want to write. I feel like writing.
My boyfriend's name is Andrew. He's sweet and wonderful and many of the things that a boyfriend should be. I do love him. He also has this very odd jealous streak. Only, instead of handling it like most guys do, he handles it like a chick. He runs off into a corner and pouts. He acts just like me, to be honest. It's really irksome. A couple of months ago we (being the geeks that we are) decided to create a WoW guild together when the expansion comes out. We've been working on it slowly off and on. No point in putting things in motion months ahead of time, honestly. Last week I invited some of his friends from an old guild (Divinity) to come play with us. About three days ago, while I wasn't on (MY) vent, I apparently got voted off the island. The core group (oh wait, just their friends actually) decided that I didn't know enough to run a guild so they'd basically reform their old guild with my boyfriend and two other guys in charge of it. Andrew told me about this, thinking there would be no problem. (Side note: apparently he first told me about it a couple of days ago when I was on massive drugs because I hadn't stopped puking in a couple of days and the emergency room people couldn't figure out what was wrong with me...I have no idea why he picked then to tell me...luckily I don't really remember the convo and he's trying to forget it...I guess I wasn't really happy). How would there be no problem giving everything up when I'd already purrchased a vent server, I invited people to the guild, I hired a professional web designer, I have shit graphed and charted and freaking manuals written up (okay, okay, so I was bored at work. What's your point?) Andrew tells me, oh, I didn't really see it that much as your guild...I mean, I was gonna be the guild leader. The man you love tells you that he wants to try being a guild leader...you're encouraging him to become a more mature, alpha type personality and learn to lead people, etc. etc. What do you do? Do you say, no let me do it because I've done it before and I'll do it better? No, you say: that sounds good, I didn't really want to be leader anyway. It will be better if you're leader and I'm just second in command... That way, you can let him have the experience of being leader and learn from it and grow from it...and you're there backing him up and talking to him about what's going on and giving advice, etc. etc. So he's not just flailing about madly on his own like you did several times when you first did shit like this. But no, when you say (and pretty damn calmly) that you're a little upset that your guild got stolen out from under you...he's not supposed to give you all the reasons why his friends on right! Fuck, he's not supposed to have let it happen at all. He's supposed to have defended you when you weren't there. Granted, he says that he did spend "a half an hour defending me and why I'd be a good leader, etc. etc." which is sweet. But firstly, I wasn't there to see it and secondly, he still let them steal it out from under me. And when I made some noise about not being sure I wanted to play with them after all this...his answer was pretty much: that's sad, I wanted to play with you. This is the guy I'm madly in love with? Man, can I pick the winners.
Moving on, there's this other guy who has been coming in and out of my life for a while. My feelings and our relationship changes often, but I love him very much. I enjoy being his friend. And when the situation is right for both of us, those feelings tend to turn towards the romantic. It just hasn't ever "happened" because we're never in the right place to see if it would work out between us. Even if we're both single, we live on opposite sides of the country or something. We can't manage to be both single and in the same state at the same time ever. Well, a variety of things have led up to this exchange from earlier this evening:
CCBronte (3:14:27 AM): If you're as casual with the truth and cavalier about how people feel in real life as you are with me, it's no wonder you have a hard time meeting the right kind of girl. Anyone strong and sassy enough to want you or vice versa, wouldn't put up with being an emotional punching bag this often. There's only so far you can push someone away before they don't want to come back.
Boy (3:15:35 AM): I will pretend I didn't read that for the fact you desperately misunderstood what I said.
Boy (3:15:42 AM): Have a good night.
Boy has signed off...
Perchance I did misread what he meant in that one conversation...but I don't make grand sweeping statements like that on a single conversation. It usually takes me at least two or three days to get that pissed. ;) Especially when it's someone I've agreed to marry off and on since I've known him.
Then there's this other guy. He likes me. That's bad. Luckily, he refuses to acknowledge that he likes me for the very reason that it would be bad. But he wants me to help him meet a new girl. He started describing the kind of girl he thinks he wants. At the end of the conversation my comment was: So you want my clone only younger and in your state? His response: Oh, location doesn't really matter.
I'm sure I'd be having problems with my boo if we had had time lately to actually see each other. I'm really missing time with Dan, I feel like I need it to center and ground my world. My oldest sister, brother in law, and 20 month old niece are in town. Only thanks to drugs have I gotten ANY sleep this week. The day before they showed up, my mom and I had such a massive blowout that she said to me: I think it's a good idea if we take a break from each other for a while... Obviously that couldn't really take place during Thanksgiving.
WTB Rock to hide under...must make me immune to discovery by family and "boys"...pst immediately!
(want to buy and please send tell for the non-geeks amongst you)
Off to sleep so I can pretend not to hate thanksgiving tomorrow.
It wouldn't suck if it just didn't include the work, the food, the family, the...wait...if it just didn't include me.
Is it me, or have I gotten more anti-social lately?
My boyfriend's name is Andrew. He's sweet and wonderful and many of the things that a boyfriend should be. I do love him. He also has this very odd jealous streak. Only, instead of handling it like most guys do, he handles it like a chick. He runs off into a corner and pouts. He acts just like me, to be honest. It's really irksome. A couple of months ago we (being the geeks that we are) decided to create a WoW guild together when the expansion comes out. We've been working on it slowly off and on. No point in putting things in motion months ahead of time, honestly. Last week I invited some of his friends from an old guild (Divinity) to come play with us. About three days ago, while I wasn't on (MY) vent, I apparently got voted off the island. The core group (oh wait, just their friends actually) decided that I didn't know enough to run a guild so they'd basically reform their old guild with my boyfriend and two other guys in charge of it. Andrew told me about this, thinking there would be no problem. (Side note: apparently he first told me about it a couple of days ago when I was on massive drugs because I hadn't stopped puking in a couple of days and the emergency room people couldn't figure out what was wrong with me...I have no idea why he picked then to tell me...luckily I don't really remember the convo and he's trying to forget it...I guess I wasn't really happy). How would there be no problem giving everything up when I'd already purrchased a vent server, I invited people to the guild, I hired a professional web designer, I have shit graphed and charted and freaking manuals written up (okay, okay, so I was bored at work. What's your point?) Andrew tells me, oh, I didn't really see it that much as your guild...I mean, I was gonna be the guild leader. The man you love tells you that he wants to try being a guild leader...you're encouraging him to become a more mature, alpha type personality and learn to lead people, etc. etc. What do you do? Do you say, no let me do it because I've done it before and I'll do it better? No, you say: that sounds good, I didn't really want to be leader anyway. It will be better if you're leader and I'm just second in command... That way, you can let him have the experience of being leader and learn from it and grow from it...and you're there backing him up and talking to him about what's going on and giving advice, etc. etc. So he's not just flailing about madly on his own like you did several times when you first did shit like this. But no, when you say (and pretty damn calmly) that you're a little upset that your guild got stolen out from under you...he's not supposed to give you all the reasons why his friends on right! Fuck, he's not supposed to have let it happen at all. He's supposed to have defended you when you weren't there. Granted, he says that he did spend "a half an hour defending me and why I'd be a good leader, etc. etc." which is sweet. But firstly, I wasn't there to see it and secondly, he still let them steal it out from under me. And when I made some noise about not being sure I wanted to play with them after all this...his answer was pretty much: that's sad, I wanted to play with you. This is the guy I'm madly in love with? Man, can I pick the winners.
Moving on, there's this other guy who has been coming in and out of my life for a while. My feelings and our relationship changes often, but I love him very much. I enjoy being his friend. And when the situation is right for both of us, those feelings tend to turn towards the romantic. It just hasn't ever "happened" because we're never in the right place to see if it would work out between us. Even if we're both single, we live on opposite sides of the country or something. We can't manage to be both single and in the same state at the same time ever. Well, a variety of things have led up to this exchange from earlier this evening:
CCBronte (3:14:27 AM): If you're as casual with the truth and cavalier about how people feel in real life as you are with me, it's no wonder you have a hard time meeting the right kind of girl. Anyone strong and sassy enough to want you or vice versa, wouldn't put up with being an emotional punching bag this often. There's only so far you can push someone away before they don't want to come back.
Boy (3:15:35 AM): I will pretend I didn't read that for the fact you desperately misunderstood what I said.
Boy (3:15:42 AM): Have a good night.
Boy has signed off...
Perchance I did misread what he meant in that one conversation...but I don't make grand sweeping statements like that on a single conversation. It usually takes me at least two or three days to get that pissed. ;) Especially when it's someone I've agreed to marry off and on since I've known him.
Then there's this other guy. He likes me. That's bad. Luckily, he refuses to acknowledge that he likes me for the very reason that it would be bad. But he wants me to help him meet a new girl. He started describing the kind of girl he thinks he wants. At the end of the conversation my comment was: So you want my clone only younger and in your state? His response: Oh, location doesn't really matter.
I'm sure I'd be having problems with my boo if we had had time lately to actually see each other. I'm really missing time with Dan, I feel like I need it to center and ground my world. My oldest sister, brother in law, and 20 month old niece are in town. Only thanks to drugs have I gotten ANY sleep this week. The day before they showed up, my mom and I had such a massive blowout that she said to me: I think it's a good idea if we take a break from each other for a while... Obviously that couldn't really take place during Thanksgiving.
WTB Rock to hide under...must make me immune to discovery by family and "boys"...pst immediately!
(want to buy and please send tell for the non-geeks amongst you)
Off to sleep so I can pretend not to hate thanksgiving tomorrow.
It wouldn't suck if it just didn't include the work, the food, the family, the...wait...if it just didn't include me.
Is it me, or have I gotten more anti-social lately?