Barely

[serenitytouched]

I've been so distant this past year it feels like, literally dropping most of the things that I used to enjoy and fangirl about. I haven't drawn anything except terrible squiggles. I love other people's work like I love air, but I just can't feel the same way about anything I try to do where I'd just have fun. My writing isn't much better, but been

Comments

[missyquill]

Oh sweetheart *hugs so tight* I know there's nothing anyone can say or do right now and I can't even begin to comprehend how you're feeling but I do want you to know I'm here for you, at whatever capacity you need. My skype is missyquill if you ever want to talk and my email and PM is always open to you.

I wish your dad the best, cancer is a terrible thing to have, especially at this level but no matter how ineffectual your efforts seem to you, always try to remember that from his perspective, he would much rather be facing all this with you by his side. You make everything better by just being there for him.

Part of my practical training was observing last stage patients along with their oncologists and I can say with certainty that the patients who had someone with them suffered a lot less than those who were all alone. You are such an amazingly brave person and I am so proud of you for being so strong, I'm sure your dad is too.

Leaving you lots of love with this comment. <33333

[serenitytouched]

Appreciate that! While I do normally keep to myself, if I feel really bler I will keep you in mind if I wish to vent to someone.

He always says how much he appreciates it when I drive him to his appointments, but he also says how guilty he feels. u_u

I can't imagine how anyone could do it alone which reminds me in the surgery room there was a lady who I'd talk to who was there by herself. Made me appreciate more that while it was just me there compared to these other people who have families and friends, that it must have been hard being completely alone. But she seemed to have a strong demeanor (and lots of stories about a farm she lived at - raised pigs and would come into the house lol)

<3

[setsuna2sara]

That's really gotta be tough and I am so, so sorry that you've been dealing with that alone =[. My dad was sick for pretty much all my life so I know what it's like to just sit in the hospital, waiting to hear back. But it definitely was not to the extent that you've been dealing with. Only reason I mentioned it is because I get a tiny bit of how you're feeling and if you need someone to talk to, although I know others are there for you too, but just another offer of help.

If you want anything in a care package, I can also send something your way. Drawings, writings, cookies, funny pictures which could count as drawings, cards, anything.

You're going to be ok. It might take a while, but you will be. I know you're more worried about your dad right now, but just take it all one day at a time and not the whole picture.

[serenitytouched]

I've been meaning to reply when I saw this, but I am a total loser lately with remembering to getting back to messages and emails in general. t_t

But I really appreciate your comment, and even wanting to send a care package which is very sweet. I think I'd rather send you one though. ;] Fill with secret KakaSaku.

Since I posted this, we had another appointment last month to test what exactly what it was in the areas they thought it was returning cancer. Turns out it tested negative. I wish they would have told us sooner (I had to call them several times to ask what they had found) but he won't need any further treatment for now. So I'm glad to end the year on a good note for once. This pretty much all started last year December. Interesting how it goes full circle.

He still has issues of walking and health in general, so I don't think he's going to get better so to speak, but at least having one major thing off the table that was very pressing is a relief not to have. At least for the moment.

Thanks again *hugs*