(no subject)
A/N: I wanted to write something about Moriarty, but the rest of them demanded to be included, too.
Arthur was tired and dearly hoped to rest.
During his days, he listened to stories. Almost everyone seemed to be hell-bent on telling him about some curious incident or another. During his nights, he saw dreams; so insistent and vivid he feared some devilry was trying to rob him of his mind.
No ghosts need apply, he muttered unhappily, and closed his eyes.
__________________________
'Government?' chorused the Kings.
Mycroft Holmes sighed. He never liked repeating himself; doing so many times over was demeaning. He stole a glance at the table. Barring company - though in the course of his career he'd grown used to insanity in worse forms than what'd evolved here, - the eternal five o'clock was actually an appealing prospect.
'Yes, government. It worked out pretty well, too. Negotiations...'
The Hatter took over the presiding. Chaos ensued. Work followed.
__________________________
'Fool!' Spat the red-bearded stranger, glaring at cousin Bénédict and thrusting his meaty hands under cousin's very nose. 'You crave your peers' recognition, yet your ignorance will only serve to your own bitter disappointment.'
Bénédict blinked.
'There is but one continent where the tsetse fly is found. We're in Africa!'
Bénédict bleated out an incredulous 'But the ostriches...'
The stranger growled deep in his throat. Bénédict nodded. No ostriches. He could live with that.
The raving intellectual made a visible effort to collect himself. However, some horrible suspicion glinted in his eyes, and he once again rounded on the poor entomologist.
'And if you so much as suppose there are elephants in South America...'
__________________________
'Twins.' The Duke echoed feebly. Two heads bobbed up and down, eyes downcast.
'I'm Helen Stoner, Sir.'
'And I'm Julia Stoner.'
'And both females,' he surmised. Two pairs of cheeks blushed in sync.
He imagined Olivia's face. It was going to be priceless.
'Fair maidens, I welcome you in the land of Illyria.'
__________________________
The boy was gazing up at him, hurting and hopeful and hungry; and despite his lifelong loathing of romantic drivel, Sherlock Holmes found himself unable to leave the miserable mite without a kind word.
After all, he hadn't suffered any loss to the boy's clumsiness; and he was familiar with similar cases; and well he knew the usual end awaiting those who could not adapt - they died out.
'Oliver,' he began mildly, but his intentions stuck in his throat. Revenge would be so sweet...
'Yes?' asked the child.
'Oliver, dear, quit while you still can.'
There was a promise of tears in those young trusting eyes.
'Oliver, you're the worst pick-pocket in England!'
__________________________
Inspector G. Lestrade was a generous man. An open-minded one. Very open-minded, to converse with someone he could not see, and not of the divine nature.
'Monday, sixteenth?'
'Home,' was the predictable glum reply.
'Witnesses?' Oh yes, he loved his job.
There was a groan; a breath hitched; a fist thumped.
'No witnesses. What am I supposed to have done, anyways?'
'You robbed an old lady. Then - arson, indecent conduct - no, that would not stick... Cooperate, and we'll find you nice mitigating circumstances.'
The Invisible Man gritted his invisible teeth, and wished the anachronism away.
__________________________
Professor listened to the litany of nothings the nobody before him spouted out, and looked at the line of real customers behind him. Terrorists. Rapists. Bank clerks. All his to command.
The promotion left nothing to be desired, except that sometimes he had to sort out such misunderstandings as this one.
He smiled thinly.
'Mr. Tomlinson, do not fear, you shall be admitted in. Later. In the meanwhile, I'll ask you to run a couple errands...'
__________________________
He awoke with a gasp. It was morning, and judging by the steady stream of light, the hour was already late. He was scheduled clinic duty in the afternoon, but right now he was going to lunch with an old co-worker of his.
Dr. John Watson.
He's just come back from the war.