(Untitled)

[serotoninjunky]

I've got my own personal soapbox that I've climbed up on when I felt the situation warranted. It's the "truth" soapbox. I know it's not the most original soapbox, lots of people either claim it for themselves, or know someone who does. Most people have at least one "virtue" that they adhere to that either helps them stay centered, gives them some

Comments

[certifiedbobcat]

that they will 1) defiantly do whatever it is I'm concerned about, and do it more; or 2)leave and make some even bigger, maybe even dangerous mistakes; or 3)huge intensly ugly arguments will ensue and all communication will stop.
Do you think that's an unreasonable fear? I don't really have any parenting experience, but my experience as a person is that telling your average teenager to do something they don't want to do is the most surefire way to get them to do the opposite. It makes sense in a way; trying to make their decisions for them shows an utter lack of faith in their own decision-making and individuality, and the best way to reinstate their individuality is to do what they want anyway, with more zeal.
If you don't have any faith in her,maybe that's what you need to work on.

[serotoninjunky]

I keep trying to respond to your comment, but I get off track. Plus, there's so much about her situation that is extremely personal, I wouldn't want it to be on live journal. But understand that I put trust out there for my kids all the time. Many times they pull it off beautifully. My mom once said "i have faith that my kids will act their age". And I totally get that now. Unfortunately, this particular kid comes with an enormous set of ugly ugly baggage from her pre-Lear life; and I believe that it plays big-time into what's been happening lately. I gotta be honest. I have to make sure they know how I feel. It's vital to me. I mean - here's the most basic analogy I can think of to demonstrate what I am saying: If I didn't tell my kids to look both ways before they cross the street, and then they cross the street and get killed, it would be my fault for never telling them. If I didn't tell my kids about stranger-danger, and then one of them got kidnapped or raped or something, then it would be my fault for never telling

[hi_amity_an_elk]

i think i lied to my mom a lot when i was her age & i think my mom always pretended she didn't know i was lying. & i was fine- i think i knew what i was getting into most of the time, i just didn't want her to worry. i might have been getting into different things, though. anyway, i think that even though we had a sort of truce/unspoken don't ask don't tell agreement at the time & it seemed to work out, i think our relationship probably suffered (and is still recovering) & i think i would have benefitted from her wisdom or whatever if we had talked about stuff more. my 2 cents.

[hi_amity_an_elk]

her age meaning nancy's age. i don't know if that was clear.

[tweeeeeek]

::reads::

[zachariahskylab]

if any knee caps need broken, I'm yr man.