Sigh of relief
Follow-up on my last post.
CROSS
EXAMINATION
[DMCA Agent]
You were posting copyright-infringing
material onto our network!
[ST]
We were not!
[DMCA Agent]
Yes, you were.
[ST]
Prove it!
[DMCA Agent]
We have the logs. We saw the content.
[ST]
How do you know it was us?!
[DMCA Agent]
That's easy...
[DMCA Agent]
From a router by the name of tonberry.
You admitted that was yours!
[ST]
Ah... Yes... But none of us have that file!
[DMCA Agent]
You could have easily deleted it.
[ST]
Besides, who's to say someone didn't just
spoof our hostname?! It's easy enough!
[DMCA Agent]
That's not the only evidence we have...
[ST]
(More?!)
[DMCA Agent]
The MAC address was 00:1A:70:75:E7:E5.
Sound familiar, you pirate?!
[ST]
Errgh... Yes... That's tonberry, all right.
[DMCA Agent]
You see? You're clearly guilty.
[ST]
But... We didn't... Maybe... maybe
someone... spoofed that...?
[DMCA Agent]
Looks suspiciously like you did it to me.
You can't stammer your way out of this one.
Not even with weak excuses.
[ST]
(Ugh... this looks bad...)
[DMCA Agent]
Especially because...
[DMCA Agent]
It's all here in our logs, in black and white.
You were uploading Alicia Keys'
music and music videos on 3/28 at 6 AM.
[ST]
Why would we even do that?!
[DMCA Agent]
I don't know. I'm not a pirate.
[ST]
Neither am I!
[DMCA Agent]
All that matters is that you did it.
Poor Alicia... All that time and effort spent and you
just steal it. Disgusting.
[ST]
None of us even know who she is!
[DMCA Agent]
She? You know more than you're letting on.
[ST]
I don't need to know who she is to know
that Alicia Keys is female!
[DMCA Agent]
The more you lie, the more trouble you
get into.
[ST]
Is this the face of a man who's lying?!
[DMCA Agent]
Looks like a pirate face to me.
[ST]
Arrrrggh!
[DMCA Agent]
And that's a pirate noise.
[Judge]
Witness, please stop badgering the
defense and continue with your testimony.
[DMCA Agent]
Certainly.
[DMCA Agent]
I'm sure you've forgotten, but your IP
at the time was 128.113.201.246. Digits you'll
never forget!
[ST]
But I already did forget.
[DMCA Agent]
Your IP matters that little to you?
[ST]
Well, we use the router, it's not like
I notice...
[DMCA Agent]
A pity for you that we did, then, isn't it.
[ST]
(Is this guy even listening to me?)
[ST]
(I don't know if there's anything I can do
to counter him...)
[ST]
(Wait. Maybe...)
[DMCA Agent]
You were posting copyright-infringing
material onto our network!
[DMCA Agent]
From a router by the name of tonberry.
You admitted that was yours!
[DMCA Agent]
The MAC address was 00:1A:70:75:E7:E5.
Sound familiar, you pirate?!
[DMCA Agent]
It's all here in our logs, in black and white.
You were uploading Alicia Keys'
music and music videos on 3/28 at 6 AM.
[DMCA Agent]
I'm sure you've forgotten, but your IP
at the time was 128.113.201.246. Digits you'll
never forget!
[ST]
...
[DMCA Agent]
Excuse me?
[ST]
That... That IP isn't mine.
Tonberry's always been under
128.113.153.206, I think...
[DMCA Agent]
You think?
[ST]
I... I'm pretty sure of it!
[DMCA Agent]
Don't play stupid with me. You
know technology. With DHCP, your
IP could have easily changed to that.
[ST]
(... Could it...?)
[ST]
Your Honor! I request that the witness's
last statement be added to his testimony!
[DMCA Agent]
Anything to please a pirate, I guess.
The lot of you are so needy.
[DMCA Agent]
Sure, that's not the one you have now,
but it could have changed to that. See?
It's still you.
[ST]
You don't get it, do you?
[DMCA Agent]
Is this some kind of pirate joke?
Because I'm not laughing.
[ST]
No. No, I wouldn't expect you to
laugh at your own joke.
[DMCA Agent]
My... joke...? I assure you, I'm
dead serious!
[ST]
Really.
[ST]
Because it looks to me like you're
dead wrong.
[DMCA Agent]
Wrong...?
[ST]
See this? 255.255.248.0
That's the subnet mask for this
network.
[Judge]
Subnet mask? Is that something you
computer people wear on halloween?
[ST]
No. It's a pattern that shows which
bits of an IP have to match to be on
the same subnet.
[ST]
The 255 and 0 mean all match and no
match, respectively, but let's look
closer at the third octet.
[ST]
248 in binary is 1111 1000.
So, in order to be on the same subnet,
the first five bits have to match.
[ST]
Tonberry's third octet, 153, comes out
to 1001 1001. So any IP on the network
must also have 1001 1___ for the third octet.
[DMCA Agent]
I don't see where this is going.
[ST]
Wait, I'm nearly done. Next, let's look
at this pirate's IP. If it has any chance of
being us, it must match that filter. So...
[ST]
Let's see. 201... That would come out to...
1100 1001, wouldn't it?
[DMCA Agent]
Ah...
[DMCA Agent]
Aaaaaaaghhh!
[ST]
I don't see why you don't find this joke
funny. I find its punchline very interesting!
[ST]
I'm sure whoever was torrenting Alicia Keys
on the main campus network will find it funny,
too!
... That's where I have to cut off this (already ridiculously long) skit thing, since I haven't gotten a response back from them. It seems really implausible that someone would spoof our MAC address and hostname just to torrent music by someone I've never heard of until now. But it isn't us, and that isn't an IP we could have acquired. So something is wrong.
This is an event that will go down in infamy. As I told Ed, the more keys there are the better, so I've configured our network to have private keys, shared keys, and Alicia Keys. Also, the secret that jeuno demands upon entry is the revelation that our router loves Alicia Keys. Since none of us could have done it, obviously tonberry was the one who did!
What I've been doing other than making discoveries...
configuring tonberry to be an impenetrable fortress with WPA2 Enterprise in addition to the old MAC address filter
It took a lot of doing, but I finally got it.
configuring tonberry to log connections onto jeuno so, in the case of any infractions that ACTUALLY trace to tonberry and don't just pretend to, I can find who really did it
Unfortunately, no dice. For some reason, iptables is not logging to syslog, though syslog is logging just fine otherwise. Weird.
configuring bluemage to be able to log on to tonberry
My primary project up till now, when I just got it working. I was using the wrong wpa_supplicant.conf this whole time. This ... this is infuriating, because "the whole time" was four hours, and it took me two before that to switch to wicd. I couldn't figure out the problem because neither the client nor the server was willing to disclose any information about why they wouldn't talk to each other. So much freaking time wasted. If I had tripped over the right answer four hours earlier I could have been doing much better things (see below)...
Now.
I WAS going to watch Dr. Who tonight. But thanks to a certain email and certain annoying pieces of crap junk technology I wasted my entire day reconfiguring my network. The only thanks I got was more hassle teaching people how to get back onto the network. (... And an adrenaline rush with the realization that the subnets didn't match, of course...)
So, I'm going to watch it tomorrow. While emitting murderous thoughts from every pore. Take that, oppressive musictatorship.
Exhaustion. Sun's up. Initiating shutdown.
CROSS
EXAMINATION
[DMCA Agent]
You were posting copyright-infringing
material onto our network!
[ST]
We were not!
[DMCA Agent]
Yes, you were.
[ST]
Prove it!
[DMCA Agent]
We have the logs. We saw the content.
[ST]
How do you know it was us?!
[DMCA Agent]
That's easy...
[DMCA Agent]
From a router by the name of tonberry.
You admitted that was yours!
[ST]
Ah... Yes... But none of us have that file!
[DMCA Agent]
You could have easily deleted it.
[ST]
Besides, who's to say someone didn't just
spoof our hostname?! It's easy enough!
[DMCA Agent]
That's not the only evidence we have...
[ST]
(More?!)
[DMCA Agent]
The MAC address was 00:1A:70:75:E7:E5.
Sound familiar, you pirate?!
[ST]
Errgh... Yes... That's tonberry, all right.
[DMCA Agent]
You see? You're clearly guilty.
[ST]
But... We didn't... Maybe... maybe
someone... spoofed that...?
[DMCA Agent]
Looks suspiciously like you did it to me.
You can't stammer your way out of this one.
Not even with weak excuses.
[ST]
(Ugh... this looks bad...)
[DMCA Agent]
Especially because...
[DMCA Agent]
It's all here in our logs, in black and white.
You were uploading Alicia Keys'
music and music videos on 3/28 at 6 AM.
[ST]
Why would we even do that?!
[DMCA Agent]
I don't know. I'm not a pirate.
[ST]
Neither am I!
[DMCA Agent]
All that matters is that you did it.
Poor Alicia... All that time and effort spent and you
just steal it. Disgusting.
[ST]
None of us even know who she is!
[DMCA Agent]
She? You know more than you're letting on.
[ST]
I don't need to know who she is to know
that Alicia Keys is female!
[DMCA Agent]
The more you lie, the more trouble you
get into.
[ST]
Is this the face of a man who's lying?!
[DMCA Agent]
Looks like a pirate face to me.
[ST]
Arrrrggh!
[DMCA Agent]
And that's a pirate noise.
[Judge]
Witness, please stop badgering the
defense and continue with your testimony.
[DMCA Agent]
Certainly.
[DMCA Agent]
I'm sure you've forgotten, but your IP
at the time was 128.113.201.246. Digits you'll
never forget!
[ST]
But I already did forget.
[DMCA Agent]
Your IP matters that little to you?
[ST]
Well, we use the router, it's not like
I notice...
[DMCA Agent]
A pity for you that we did, then, isn't it.
[ST]
(Is this guy even listening to me?)
[ST]
(I don't know if there's anything I can do
to counter him...)
[ST]
(Wait. Maybe...)
[DMCA Agent]
You were posting copyright-infringing
material onto our network!
[DMCA Agent]
From a router by the name of tonberry.
You admitted that was yours!
[DMCA Agent]
The MAC address was 00:1A:70:75:E7:E5.
Sound familiar, you pirate?!
[DMCA Agent]
It's all here in our logs, in black and white.
You were uploading Alicia Keys'
music and music videos on 3/28 at 6 AM.
[DMCA Agent]
I'm sure you've forgotten, but your IP
at the time was 128.113.201.246. Digits you'll
never forget!
[ST]
...
[DMCA Agent]
Excuse me?
[ST]
That... That IP isn't mine.
Tonberry's always been under
128.113.153.206, I think...
[DMCA Agent]
You think?
[ST]
I... I'm pretty sure of it!
[DMCA Agent]
Don't play stupid with me. You
know technology. With DHCP, your
IP could have easily changed to that.
[ST]
(... Could it...?)
[ST]
Your Honor! I request that the witness's
last statement be added to his testimony!
[DMCA Agent]
Anything to please a pirate, I guess.
The lot of you are so needy.
[DMCA Agent]
Sure, that's not the one you have now,
but it could have changed to that. See?
It's still you.
[ST]
You don't get it, do you?
[DMCA Agent]
Is this some kind of pirate joke?
Because I'm not laughing.
[ST]
No. No, I wouldn't expect you to
laugh at your own joke.
[DMCA Agent]
My... joke...? I assure you, I'm
dead serious!
[ST]
Really.
[ST]
Because it looks to me like you're
dead wrong.
[DMCA Agent]
Wrong...?
[ST]
See this? 255.255.248.0
That's the subnet mask for this
network.
[Judge]
Subnet mask? Is that something you
computer people wear on halloween?
[ST]
No. It's a pattern that shows which
bits of an IP have to match to be on
the same subnet.
[ST]
The 255 and 0 mean all match and no
match, respectively, but let's look
closer at the third octet.
[ST]
248 in binary is 1111 1000.
So, in order to be on the same subnet,
the first five bits have to match.
[ST]
Tonberry's third octet, 153, comes out
to 1001 1001. So any IP on the network
must also have 1001 1___ for the third octet.
[DMCA Agent]
I don't see where this is going.
[ST]
Wait, I'm nearly done. Next, let's look
at this pirate's IP. If it has any chance of
being us, it must match that filter. So...
[ST]
Let's see. 201... That would come out to...
1100 1001, wouldn't it?
[DMCA Agent]
Ah...
[DMCA Agent]
Aaaaaaaghhh!
[ST]
I don't see why you don't find this joke
funny. I find its punchline very interesting!
[ST]
I'm sure whoever was torrenting Alicia Keys
on the main campus network will find it funny,
too!
... That's where I have to cut off this (already ridiculously long) skit thing, since I haven't gotten a response back from them. It seems really implausible that someone would spoof our MAC address and hostname just to torrent music by someone I've never heard of until now. But it isn't us, and that isn't an IP we could have acquired. So something is wrong.
This is an event that will go down in infamy. As I told Ed, the more keys there are the better, so I've configured our network to have private keys, shared keys, and Alicia Keys. Also, the secret that jeuno demands upon entry is the revelation that our router loves Alicia Keys. Since none of us could have done it, obviously tonberry was the one who did!
What I've been doing other than making discoveries...
configuring tonberry to be an impenetrable fortress with WPA2 Enterprise in addition to the old MAC address filter
It took a lot of doing, but I finally got it.
configuring tonberry to log connections onto jeuno so, in the case of any infractions that ACTUALLY trace to tonberry and don't just pretend to, I can find who really did it
Unfortunately, no dice. For some reason, iptables is not logging to syslog, though syslog is logging just fine otherwise. Weird.
configuring bluemage to be able to log on to tonberry
My primary project up till now, when I just got it working. I was using the wrong wpa_supplicant.conf this whole time. This ... this is infuriating, because "the whole time" was four hours, and it took me two before that to switch to wicd. I couldn't figure out the problem because neither the client nor the server was willing to disclose any information about why they wouldn't talk to each other. So much freaking time wasted. If I had tripped over the right answer four hours earlier I could have been doing much better things (see below)...
Now.
I WAS going to watch Dr. Who tonight. But thanks to a certain email and certain annoying pieces of crap junk technology I wasted my entire day reconfiguring my network. The only thanks I got was more hassle teaching people how to get back onto the network. (... And an adrenaline rush with the realization that the subnets didn't match, of course...)
So, I'm going to watch it tomorrow. While emitting murderous thoughts from every pore. Take that, oppressive musictatorship.
Exhaustion. Sun's up. Initiating shutdown.