Something

[ses123116]

Come the morrow, a friend leaves. For a long time. To places that I cannot follow to or visit. This saddens me. More so than I thought it could. It happened to me again, and still emotions run rampant throughout my body, mind, and spirit. Again, I don't know what to do. To go back to how life was before, the carefree never know what’s going to

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[gray_ghost710]

Ah, falling in love is such a beautiful terror is it not? It seem to me that a lot of your behavior dealing with her, that is bad, is derived from an emotional shell that you want to break out of but are having a hard time with... the answer is never simple but will come... Its good that you are using this opportunity to change some things... but the question remains. "If I change, will she still feel the same, more or less for me?" God Steve its hard, but what you can do is change for the better, and only hope that it works out. Because as much as we would like to magically change people, it never seems to happen. I would suggest meditating on why you act/behave the way you do with her, and then in general. Reflect your actions and bring to memory why you did them. This is a very good exercise and brings about some insight into ourselves. For now don’t beat yourself up over this question of her, recognize it, and do as you see fit in creating yourself for the better regardless of her. Yes it is very hard. Hang it there!

[gray_ghost710]

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.

~Pema Chodron