I HATE FEELING WEAK!!
I hate it that I have this one weakness that someone can stab a knife in that one spot and that they’ll be able to kill me.. I never liked feeling weak.. its like crying to me.. like I'm defenseless.. I don’t like crying at all.. or my weakness..
I hate having people worry about me..
I have this one illness called hypoglycemia.. its almost like being diabetic.. the whole blood sugar and all..
Well the other day [Friday 26] I had almost fainted at work.. I was on a thing called whale watch which means I have to make sure no one enters the stadium when the show is over.. there are two people who do it one on either side of the stage.. but when I was there my vision started going out and all I could see was white spots everywhere.. I sat down and started getting sleepy and tired and I knew that I couldn’t fall asleep.. I had to stay conscience.. its happened before so I knew what to do.. my manager was there helping another girl pick up trash from the previous show and saw me sit down.. she came to me asking what was wrong and asked me if I was alright.. obviously I said no.. I told her then that I needed orange juice.. I needed some sugar in my blood and orange juice had helped last time it happened.. my manager called the emt and a guy appeared and gave me an ice pack cuz I was sweating really bad.. I knew where to put the ice pack at.. right behind me ears closers to the head.. then the emt called one of the co-workers and asked her to bring me some soda cuz I needed sugar.. well I got the soda and drank it right away and started to feel better and see clearer too.. the whiteness was swallowing up my vision and I couldn’t see the place anymore.. I couldn’t even stop yawning cuz my body wanted to go to sleep soo bad.. I had trouble moving my limbs and all but when I came back to normal I was moving just fine and when I looked down at my hands I saw that they were all pale.. and that the fingertips were numb.. like the feeling when your foot falls asleep..
That morning I was in a hurry and only ate a small bowl of cereal and that was it.. and my break didn’t come till after one when another co-worker was supposed to relieve me off of whale watch.. but after that I had a ride in the emt van all the way to the employee café which was on the other side of the park and since I wasn’t feeling up to walking all the way over there in the heat I got a ride.. but unfortunately I had left my wallet back in one of the lockers at the stadium but fortunately one of the managers what there eating and I had him call the other manager to have someone bring my wallet over since I forgot it in the rush sort to speak.. well the person that was supposed to bring it left early and I had to bum off money off of a few co-workers I knew there.. but when I got back from my hour break I had the option of going home early.. and so I took it.. that day I was supposed to work from eleven to seven but I went home at three..
I'm gonna have to make up the hours later tho.. but if I didn’t get off early I would’ve gotten my paycheck some other day cuz the payroll window is open on Fridays from seven to five and I supposedly get of at seven in which it would’ve been too late to get it..
Btw first paycheck was two hundred and sixty eight bucks.. woot!!
But then I went to wal-mart today [Saturday 27] and bought a new computer desk, a door mirror, and a few munchies.. and now all I have left from the sixty eight bucks that I had cuz I put two hundred in the bank is seventeen or so cuz then after wal-mart we went to the dollar tree and I got a lint roller for my stupid cat and her liking of dark clothes and some more munchies..
We also went to burger king for lunch and I got me a hat.. cuz I wanted it.. so now I have a bk crown.. yay!!
Oh yeah about a week ago or so my mom got a new phone.. its exactly like mines but her’s was a managers special [ooo] so she got a free leather case and a car charger.. I currently have the leather case in my possession seeing as she won’t need it and my car charger is screwed up I don’t know what April did to it cuz she’s had it like forever and now it doesn’t work for some reason so me and my mom share the car charger.. like I use it in the car in the first place.. let alone use her car..
Oh and I also got unlimited text messaging too.. finally my bill won't go up to seventy something dollars when its supposed to be about forty something..
Ha ha I changed my name on my phone from ‘sesshie’ to ‘chibi kitsune’ I don’t know why but I'm growing fond of foxes.. don’t worry tho I’ll always luv Sesshomaru but I do luv kitsunes as well.. I just need to get me a fox wallpaper to put on my phone but I don’t know where to get one at.. I've looked all over the place and I even searched for some but either I can't download them or the site can't be used on the phone.. oh well.. I’ll just stick to a pic of a close up and very cute kitty on my phone.. either that or a couple of clay looking pandas..
Wow its sounds like my mood from early in this entry has changed from somewhat depressed to back to my cheery self.. odd how only a few words can change a persons mood..
Hm..
Well my mom had yet another bday this past Thursday [25] in which she becomes another year older ^_^ in fact I don’t even know how old she is.. I remember one year she faked her age as was I think 45 twice.. and my dad fell for it.. it was funny.. but my dad made me drive that night to buy a cake for my mom cuz he had a few beers and my mom hates it when he drives like that.. so we [dad and me] went to the bank first to get money in which case he made me drive on the highway [second time] at night!! I wasn’t scared but I was just a little more aware of things.. cuz it was dark.. then afterwards we went to h.e.b to buy a cake and then he wanted to get a drink.. in which case means another pack of beer.. [my mom hates it when I drive him to get more beer but he always persists and so I do it] then we got home and my dad asked all the neighbors to come over and sing my mom happy bday and all and we cut the cake and gave it to everyone.. it was fun.. then after that we all talked for a long time.. we got to know our new neighbors more and the other guy that moved in with our first neighbor [more about that later] but now today [Sunday 28] we are going to china harbor to take my mom out to dinner.. we were supposed to do it yesterday but my dad was stupid and at dinner when he wasn’t supposed to.. so we blame him.. but I'm supposed to pay for the dinner in which I only have about fifteen bucks left on me or so.. so I told my mom that my dad’ll pay for himself, my bro, and me and then I’ll pay for my mom.. hey it works doesn’t it? she just said for me to pay for her ^_^
Our new neighbors are crazy.. they luv to drink and they have this bong that they put something in it and their whole house smells like apples or lavender.. I don’t know but they are cool nonetheless.. they are kinda like newlyweds.. shes 25 and hes 22 in which case my mom should that that’s wrong cuz shes older.. and she luvs my cat.. she luvs how fluffy mines is and since she saw my cat now she wants one.. but they also own two dogs as well..
Well our first neighbor went to California a few days ago for something and won’t be back for a while but he has a two story four bedroom house in which hes single and lives in there by himself.. odd.. but now he has two other people living there with him.. a friend he knows from work in which they knew each other for a long time and he also lives by himself and is single in a big house which he is either gonna rent or sell.. and a relative from mexico I think living with him to get a job and all.. and all three of them are single.. what the hell.. the original neighbor [in cali] is 25 and I don’t know about the others..
And to top it off our neighbor across the street is in his twenties as well but he has a girlfriend I think.. so all three of our neighbors are in their twenties.. what the hell..
One day they asked me if I wanted to go bowling with them.. I said no cuz I had to work the next day.. but when they left I told my mom I didn’t feel comfortable going out with them cuz I didn’t know them very much.. it’ll just feel weird and all..
[Tuesday 30] My dream car has finally arrived.. my 5.0 mustang ^_^ actually its been around west campus before cuz some girl there [hasn’t graduated yet] used to own it.. it’s a blue mustang that sounds like a v8.. when I first saw it at school I really liked it and now I almost own it.. my dad just had it towed to the shop yesterday cuz it can't run.. it needs some things done with it.. nonetheless I still have a mustang..
oo and I was watching ‘the most extreme’ on animal planet today and they were talking about the fugu fish [puffer fish] and about how poisonous it is and that the Japanese would risk eating that fish.. I remember talking about it with josh one time cuz it was very interesting and he was sharing his interesting information with me.. that was a fun day ^_^ [glomps blue]
hit the books I must
you will need:
1 yellow candle [dress with rosemary essential oil]
1 glass of water
1 bunch of grapes [not seedless]
when you are ready to hit the books to study, light the yellow candle in your study area, then fill a glass with water, place it next to the candle, and say:
as clear as this water is, my mind will be absorbing everything I read this eve
begin to study. eat the grapes one by one, and place the pits inside the glass of water. when you finish for the night, snuff the candle and go outside and empty the glass of water with the pits on the grass in the backyard. you can do this little ritual every time you study, and you can use the candle as many times as you like-just get another one when the first one runs out.
help someone with an addiction, or help yourself to be free from the chains
you will need:
7 red candles [dress with olive oil]
1 black cloth
some of whatever you’re addicted to [for example, a cigarette]
1 yard of black ribbon
1 candle of your astral color [or the addicted person’s astral color]
[astral colors: Aries: white, Taurus: red, Gemini: red, Cancer; green, Leo: red, Virgo: black, Libra: black, Scorpio: brown, Sagittarius: gold, Capricorn: red, Aquarius: blue, Pisces: white]
light two of the red candles on a Tuesday night when the moon is waning [between full and new moon]. as you do this, visualize what life was like before the addiction took over. in the middle of the candles, place the additive substance you wish to get rid of. if you are doing this for a friend, just write down the addiction on a piece of paper. wrap the addictive item or paper with the black clothe and tie it with the black ribbon. if it’s for you, hold it in your hands and say:
never to be seen or used ever again, I know I can leave it behind, and I will
for a friend or family member, say:
never to be seen or used ever again, I know you can do it and leave it behind you shall, I'm sending you strength to fight the addiction off, and please get some needed help
place it gently back on top of the table and then light the astral color candle, while visualizing your world, or someone else’s, free of this addiction’s control. light the remainder of the red candles, making a circle of flame around your black little parcel, and visualize the pain others are going through because of this addiction, as well as all the harm you are doing to your own soul, which is unhappy and filled with remorse. let all the candles burn for a few minutes, and snuff them once you finish. repeat this the next night at the same time, and every night after that for seven nights.
note to readers: please remember that this spell is only a guide to give you the stranght needed to overcome an addiction. it does not replace professional help or counseling. please seek help from friends, family members, your school, or your general practitioner, or look for sites on the internet on substance abuse. your body is a temple you have been given to cherish and look after in this lifetime. take good care of it.
**both these spells derived from “charm spells: white magic for love and friendship, school and home” by ileana abrev**
useless information for the day:
pokemon red/blue was banned in Saudia Arabia because it possessed the minds of children and promoted Zionism.. go figure ^_^
to attract love to you
candle color: pink
day: Tuesday if you’re a girl; Friday if you’re a boy
crystal: rose quartz
affirmation: “I draw perfect love to me. I'm filled with the power of love and attraction. I give thanks for the love in my life”
to find your soul mate
candle color: white, purple, and pink
day: Thursday
crystal: amethyst, rose quartz, and clear quartz
affirmation: “I am inviting my soul mate to come into my life now. I am ready to embrace you with an open heart, mind, and soul. I am thankful for your presence and love”