Title: Peaches and Cream
Fandom: Bleach
Characters/Pairings: Grimmjow x Apache, Ulquiorra
Rating: Compared to most of my stuff, I'd give this a PG-13, but some might call it R. Nothing graphic, but definite sexual innuendos, and some f bombs.
Notes: Not much to say, except just read it. Even if you don't dig the pairing, you may find this amusing.
Summary: Grimmjow wakes up to one surprise after the other.
The fraccion was in his bed. Or perhaps the correct way to put it, the fraccion was STILL in his bed.
She was curled up quite comfortably on the left side of it, her pale, naked body still tangled in the white sheets. It would have been pretty, if one arm wasn't hanging haphazardly to the side, her mouth open and drooling on his pillow, and a quiet but definite snore escaping from her lips.
It was such a bizarre sight, he didn't even know how to react to it. In the past, girls got the fuck out of his room when he was done with them. And the one or two that had the audacity to stay didn't sleep a wink, for fear of what he might do. They were damned right to be wary. He wasn't one to like to dwell in the after glow of sex, and typically by morning, he was sick of them, anyway.
Figuring he would wake her up, he leaned over and grabbed her arm. Quick as a whip, she was up, and a fist went flying straight into his face, her own filled with absolute fury.
"SUN SUN HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TA FUCKIN' TELL YA IF YA FUCKIN' PLAY RING TOSS WITH MY HORN AGAIN I AM GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF Y-....ohshit." The furious look melted into an absolutely terrified look. Grimmjow stared at her, a touch of blood under his left nostril. He was too stunned to do anything but stare.
"...Oh shit. ...I just fuckin' hit an espada..." Her hand moved to her mouth as she pulled herself of the bed. "Shit, I'm really sorry, my roommates like to fuck with me and I've sort of developed this habit, I really didn't mean to do that - are, er, you going to kill me now?" She had grabbed a cloth, and dampening it in his wash basin, reaching up to dab at the blood.
"....You have a good fist." Was his only response, his hand swatting her own away. "It's nothing." Shaking his head, he ran his hand over his face to wipe the blood away. He then grabbed his hakama, and started to pull them over his legs.
"Well, I am sorry. I'm really sorry. I-"
"Stop being fucking sorry, and start-"
"Sucking your cock?" She blurted out quickly. For the third time in five minutes, she had managed to shock him. But this was one surprise he couldn't refuse.
"...Sure." he said lightly, a maniacal grin on his face. "...But...I have a little idea, first."
* * *
Sometimes Ulquiorra thought Aizen only liked to have meetings to show off just how many different varieties of tea he had. To meet so early in the day after having met just last night, he had to admit that it was a little ridiculous. Plus, the flavor of the morning was peaches and cream. He HATED peaches and cream.
Despite his inability to sip the tea without retching, there was something more pleasant about this meeting. At first he couldn't put his finger on it, then his eyes fell on Grimmjow. The sexta espada had a light bruise developing on one side of his face, and yet had this huge grin on his face. Every once in a while, he'd sigh, at one point, he even exclaimed ‘Oh fuck yeah...' in a purr like tone.
He was happy about something, and while Aizen and most of the other espada seemed to take it as a sign that he approved of the new policies concerning the punishment of rogue shinigami, he knew better. When the meeting was over, the room cleared rather quickly. Soon it only himself and Grimmjow, who seemed to be nursing his tea like it was a brandy.
"...You're quiet this morning. Do you really like the peaches and cream tea that much...? I personally find it rather disgusting. Grimmjow stood up and adjusted his hakama sash, chuckling in his usual evil way. He drapped an arm over the shorter espada's shoulder.
"Ya know, Ulquiorra..." He spoke as he turned the quatros away from the table and lead him toward the door. . "...Peaches and cream is something every man should be able to appreciate." Once they had crossed the threshold, he pulled him arm away. "Aw, who am I kidding, you would hate it, fag!" Smirking and laughing, he walked down the hallway, leaving the other espada to look quite emo.