Fever (Gundam 00, Setsuna and Lockon centric)

[setamusings]

Title: Fever
Author: ginnyseta
Genre: Drama
Relationship/characters: Setsuna and Lockon centric. Also features Tieria, Hallelujah, and Haro. Interpret things as you will.
Rating: PG - PG-13ish
Warnings/kinks: VIRGIN FIC ALERT! (As in...the author's first time. Not the characters, lol.)
Notes: This is my first G00 fic. I'm honestly really nervous about

Comments

[linsetsu]

“Tieria, you’re the only guy I know who cares about catching germs.”

LOL!! That was a brilliant Lockon phrase! XD

The last four sentences were very powerful and did a great job in ending the fic. That just stood out to me, since I always have trouble coming up with a last sentence.

*still cracking up over Lockon's line*

[ginnyseta]

ROFL! I'm glad you liked the line. It was one of my favs in this piece. The only thing, and this is embarassing to admit...It was supposed to be said by Alleujah, as they were getting out of the room. But I could easily see it being said by Lockon, too, in fact, I think I nearly had him say something similar towards the beginning when Tieria was fussing over him.

I was trying not to use "he said" and phrases like that too much...Gah! This is where I need to improve as a writer. On the other hand, I'm glad those last few sentences got the point across! They were probably the hardest ones to write.

BTW, the fic you recently wrote is in my reading queque XD! I'll be sure to check it out soon!

[linsetsu]

x_x Sorry! I misunderstood! Maybe it was just me, but the flow of the writing kind of pointed towards Lockon saying that line. Since...Lockon spoke first (calling over his shoulder), then the line about spreading germs is Tiera without question (he's the only one in the scene who is prone to say such things; that's just a matter of characterisation). Then after that, it'll be assumed that Lockon is talking, particularly because you didn't write in "said Allelujah" after it

[ginnyseta]

Yeah, you totally hit the nail right on the head with thise. I was thinking "Hey, there's three characters here including Haro, shouldn't I put some form of said in there?" And I opted for no, because I thought the "the voices of Tieria, Allelujah, and Haro faded down the hallway" bit was enough. Which I can see where it probably wasn't.

LOL, maybe my brain was trying to tell me that Lockon should be saying that line XD!

In any case, definitely good suggestions! Thank you muchly!

[black_hayate]

That was cute! I liked the pace and the interactions, very IC XD I noticed a couple of mistakes/typos here and there (like fever's instead of fevers) which can be easily fixed with a beta reader, but other than that it's really good for a first try at this fandom! I hope you keep writing for G00 :3

[ginnyseta]

Icon <3!!!

I desperately need a beta for G00. Very few people I know are into it, which is a bummer for things like fanfic betas and roleplayers. My fiance is the only person I know off hand I could get to do it - and he couldn't punctuate his way out of a paper bag XD

For next time I'll see if I can get someone else to look over it! Or try to be EXTRA careful with careless mistakes

Glad you liked it!

[ad_exia]

Aww, I really liked that. <3 Very beautifully written!

[ginnyseta]

I apologize for responding to this a million years after you made the comment, but I just wanted to say thank you, and glad you read my story and liked it.

[sinnatious]

This was really good. I loved that Setsuna can throw such a mean punch even when he's that sick. *___* And that Lockon was so darn nice about it. Everyone was so in character!

It was somewhere between fluffy and sort of sad. I really enjoyed it, thanks for writing it!

[ginnyseta]

This is REALLY belated, but I wanted to say thank you for reading my story! I'm so glad you liked it, and you thought it was IC!

I some how missed your comment first time around X_X I'm sorry!

[slasher_cracker]

Nice Meister fic! I love how you bring out Nursing Tieria, Big Bro Lockon and Setsuna F Exia lol.

And love the inclusion of haro into the team =)

[ginnyseta]

I'm really glad you liked it! Thank you!

LOL, yes, Haro is an important part of the team to me XD!