I make my own misery
So, I'm fuming; in a rage of spited self-pity, combined with a mean liquor of hormones and home-sickness. I miss my family in a way I haven't experience. Fuck; I cannot explain it, it just hurts. I love it here, but this week has been hard, not for any particular reason, only due to this newly budding 'get me the fuck home' thing I'm on.
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Listen, kiddo, you gotta hit the wall now and then. Because that impact is gonna stop your body and let your brain hear itself think. My words may not be any help to you at all, but I want to offer what encouragement I can.
You can't do jacques shit about hormones OR homesickness, or jackasses for that matter. The trick is, any day the sun won't shine for you, get up and kick that motherfucking day in the teeth. You're sweet but you're tough, and that's a prime survival combination. Above all, listen to your own wisdom. You know your worries and you know your mind. You have the autonomy, and that's how you're going to figure out what you need.
All I can give you is prayer and crossed fingers. It's all you need. You are dearly loved, and greatly missed, but however long it takes for all of us to dance the night away together again, it will be well worth the wait. Stay tough and be well.
-yr loyal kitty kat
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