It's been a while, no?
im not sure why i havent updated in so long. things happened too.
like, i thought i broke my foot in a bus evacuation drill, but it turns out that it is just very badly bruised. i can deal with bruised. swelling made it so i couldnt walk. but alieve is godly and made it go down enough so now i can walk again. WITHOUT crutches, might i add. however, the ability to walk means nothing when it still hurts to put complete pressure on it like normal. i walk on the side of my foot so pressure isnt given as much to where it hurts, yet i can still walk. it works, i swear.
im getting ahead in my math class. its a little too easy for me. and i hate homework. its not so much the homework itself as it is the obligation of homework. so, i do my homework ahead of time (in class or even earlier... like a week before its due? or even assigned!). im ahead in geometry by at least half a chapter.
i have found out that my schools homecoming dance is coming up in september. september 16th, i think. its on a friday so its very well possible. now comes the hard part: getting 40$ for tickets (one for me and one for billy) and another 30$ AT LEAST for gas money to get billy halfway. at the moment i have 23$. im so stupid. i spent some of that money on hair dye for homecoming. gah! not a good choice ashlee!! not a good choice!!!! but its fine. i have a couple more weeks. and i babysitt most weekends and sometimes during the week itself so its no problem. lets see... 15$ at least everytime i babysit; i babysit at least once every weekend; homecoming is 3 weekends away and normally i get 20$ when i babysit late; i have 23$ now. if i keep getting 15$ i should have 68$ by homecoming. good enough, right? after one more weekend i should have ALMOST enough to get 2 damn tickets. once the tickets are bought i will relax. last year was unbelievable... and not in a good way.
things with zeh billy and me are going alright. but... im a since, they arent the same. *sigh* i miss him a lot and it sucks. i have gone over a month...scratch that. almost two months without seeing him (in person). ive gone almost 2 months without kissing him... without that physical feeling of being cared for. ahhh! its melting my mind! yes, i admit. i tend to be a very "hands on" person. and yes, i admit. i have been trying to change. but for some reason im having trouble with it now! and then i worry myself because i make myself think that maybe hes thinking im all about sex. im not. he should know this, so why am i worrying? i dont know! thats the point! i shouldnt even be troubling myself about the lack of physical comfort at all! this is what comes with a long distance relationship. i know this! but then, i can sort of see where i am coming from on this subject. i have my faults as does he (although he never seems to have as many as me... its like hes perfect) but whenever we try to stay up late so we can talk to eachother, something always falls through. like, for example, friday night i think it was... i was wanting to stay up late with him like we used to over summer. i set my alarm and everything... i fell asleep and didnt wake up until i had to. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. i do that too often. so, saturday night we wanted to stay up late again. or try... the reason we stay up late is so we can have time alone without parents or sisters or brothers barging in. time to talk privately. well, saturday night everything was going alright. but my sister was on the phone until 4. we didnt have our private time to talk! and my sister was being a bitch so it put me in an aweful mood. i ended up leaving the apartment for a little while around 3 and i didnt come back inside until around 345. he stayed up waiting for me, gods bless him. when i came home my sister was off the phone and so i was thinking that meant some alone time. WRONG! that meant instead that i was going to get caught on the phone late and sent to bed at 4. i got the phone back around 430 but billy was too tired to talk so we went to sleep... same thing happened this morning. we were going to wake up earlier than normal for school. 4 instead of 5. i told him to go to bed early so he would get enough sleep. he didnt get to bed until around like... midnight? so i called him this morning and he was dead tired. i told him to go back to sleep and he was happy. i have to call him back now. its upsetting though! i miss summer for that reason. i had the time to stay up late and talk to him. but whatever now. homecoming is approaching quickly and so thats something to be greatful for i assume. and i am! its just that its in a little less than a month...
like, i thought i broke my foot in a bus evacuation drill, but it turns out that it is just very badly bruised. i can deal with bruised. swelling made it so i couldnt walk. but alieve is godly and made it go down enough so now i can walk again. WITHOUT crutches, might i add. however, the ability to walk means nothing when it still hurts to put complete pressure on it like normal. i walk on the side of my foot so pressure isnt given as much to where it hurts, yet i can still walk. it works, i swear.
im getting ahead in my math class. its a little too easy for me. and i hate homework. its not so much the homework itself as it is the obligation of homework. so, i do my homework ahead of time (in class or even earlier... like a week before its due? or even assigned!). im ahead in geometry by at least half a chapter.
i have found out that my schools homecoming dance is coming up in september. september 16th, i think. its on a friday so its very well possible. now comes the hard part: getting 40$ for tickets (one for me and one for billy) and another 30$ AT LEAST for gas money to get billy halfway. at the moment i have 23$. im so stupid. i spent some of that money on hair dye for homecoming. gah! not a good choice ashlee!! not a good choice!!!! but its fine. i have a couple more weeks. and i babysitt most weekends and sometimes during the week itself so its no problem. lets see... 15$ at least everytime i babysit; i babysit at least once every weekend; homecoming is 3 weekends away and normally i get 20$ when i babysit late; i have 23$ now. if i keep getting 15$ i should have 68$ by homecoming. good enough, right? after one more weekend i should have ALMOST enough to get 2 damn tickets. once the tickets are bought i will relax. last year was unbelievable... and not in a good way.
things with zeh billy and me are going alright. but... im a since, they arent the same. *sigh* i miss him a lot and it sucks. i have gone over a month...scratch that. almost two months without seeing him (in person). ive gone almost 2 months without kissing him... without that physical feeling of being cared for. ahhh! its melting my mind! yes, i admit. i tend to be a very "hands on" person. and yes, i admit. i have been trying to change. but for some reason im having trouble with it now! and then i worry myself because i make myself think that maybe hes thinking im all about sex. im not. he should know this, so why am i worrying? i dont know! thats the point! i shouldnt even be troubling myself about the lack of physical comfort at all! this is what comes with a long distance relationship. i know this! but then, i can sort of see where i am coming from on this subject. i have my faults as does he (although he never seems to have as many as me... its like hes perfect) but whenever we try to stay up late so we can talk to eachother, something always falls through. like, for example, friday night i think it was... i was wanting to stay up late with him like we used to over summer. i set my alarm and everything... i fell asleep and didnt wake up until i had to. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. i do that too often. so, saturday night we wanted to stay up late again. or try... the reason we stay up late is so we can have time alone without parents or sisters or brothers barging in. time to talk privately. well, saturday night everything was going alright. but my sister was on the phone until 4. we didnt have our private time to talk! and my sister was being a bitch so it put me in an aweful mood. i ended up leaving the apartment for a little while around 3 and i didnt come back inside until around 345. he stayed up waiting for me, gods bless him. when i came home my sister was off the phone and so i was thinking that meant some alone time. WRONG! that meant instead that i was going to get caught on the phone late and sent to bed at 4. i got the phone back around 430 but billy was too tired to talk so we went to sleep... same thing happened this morning. we were going to wake up earlier than normal for school. 4 instead of 5. i told him to go to bed early so he would get enough sleep. he didnt get to bed until around like... midnight? so i called him this morning and he was dead tired. i told him to go back to sleep and he was happy. i have to call him back now. its upsetting though! i miss summer for that reason. i had the time to stay up late and talk to him. but whatever now. homecoming is approaching quickly and so thats something to be greatful for i assume. and i am! its just that its in a little less than a month...