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Please, Please, don't ask. Just go with me on this as well. This is a crap RP-stats post I made at a place I'm only slightly serious about ,because not a DAMN one of those brats there know how to seriously RP and it pisses me off to the point of me half assing some of my posts just to give them a taste of how bad I can purposefully be,. I HATE parroting posts. They're pointless and cheap. Not to mention that they're also effin lazy since most of said 'parrot-post' has been written by someone else!! *fumes* I apply for forum RPs because I actually GIVE A DAMN about plot, character development, and having run RPing with people I want to come to know.
FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH PEOPLE!! That is directly aimed at the people from previously alluded to forum RP I frequent. [/end rant] Heh. . .
Alright, anyway...I wanted to post this up here because the character I've created is now happily residing in my head and said she's not leaving until she gets a fair shake at musehood. I know better than to think I can write as well as I delude myself into thinking so I need honest opinions. I'm going to put up the stats post and I'd like y'all to give me a honest opinion of if Ryougetsu Arashi isn't just some marblized Sue and can actually be worth the effort to give her something more tangible than slow-hunky-dori forum RP status. I'd really like to know. what I want right now is just brutal Honesty.
Just to clear up confusion that I know might arise while reading.
Ryougetsu Arashi is only tweleve.
Her father is Ryougetsu Gehai, born to the Ryougetsu Clan. Don't laugh, it just is.
Her mother was formally Inuzuka Arainami, is now Ryougetsu Arainami.
This is also why Arashi has a familiar; her mother insisted, she agreed readily.
Both her parents are Nin.
The Ryougetsu Clan are a the religious sect. Made up of mostly priests, monks, miko, excetra. You pray at a shrine, ten to one says that a Ryougetsu, or family in close relation of, runs it. Though, like the Uchiha, many are neither priests(excetra) nor shinobi. They have regular jobs at the market or what not.
Within the Ryougetsu there is a specific sect of warriors; these are their contribution to their village's defence. Once born into it it's almost a given you'll be Nin though not all follow tradition.
And most improtantly: The only reason the Ryougetsu Clan was created was to give me somewhere to pull a character from that has nary been seen. Religious aspects seemed to be pushed to the side so I wanted to bring them to the forefront since it's a big deal.
Any questions? Just ask. I'll answer them.
Woefully she'd taken the news of her apparent lack from her father. Considering that she practically idolized the man she was doing well not to burst into tears in front of him, or burst into tears once he left the room. All in all, she was stronger than she thought at this moment. However, that didn't alleviate the stinging of his harsh -- reality was they weren't harsh but truth is rarely pleasant -- words. Arashi didn't complain, merely nodded her head in acknowledgment of her lack and followed him into the darkened courtyard outside their home. She was going to pay for her pitiful abilities.
Not that she hadn't expected it. Truth be told, she was wondering why it'd taken [b]this[/b] long for her father, or any Ryougetsu really, to take notice and do something about it. Perhaps she'd finally become too complacent in their eyes and it was time to punish her. Oji-sama was probably chomping at the bit, waiting for his chance but, wisely, her father stepped in. The girl often wondered why they let her stray so far from this path. Had she not been expected to make it this far? Somehow that thought didn't anger her as it might once have; she knew that line of thinking did no one any good let alone herself.
Her father turned suddenly and lashed out, cuffing her in the head and sending Arashi to the ground. She quickly turned her fall into a tumble and ended up on the balls of her feet just a short distance away, waiting for the next attack. There was no time for shock, no time for the pain of the blow to register, as the seasoned shinobi flew threw a familiar set of hand seals and disappeared from view. Though she knew that he was still in the area, and probably right behind her at this point, the girl didn't make any attempt to get away. The man was testing her and she'd be damned if she failed in his eyes.
As she'd thought, he'd been behind her and landed a kick between her shoulder blades. The student flew across the dirt and grass but landed more gracefully as she twisted her body in mid-air to spring off her palms and land on her feet. She wasn't as swift as her sire but she could be nimble when she wanted; her hands slammed together in memorized patterns, focusing her chakra through her veins. Bunshin no Jutsu!!
Two clones were produced, a tad weak and ethereal but clones none the less, and immediately she set them in different directions. A Kawarimi no Jutsu later and she switched with one of her clones just as a fist centered on her right shoulder. The impact didn't fully land but there was a small ache where it began. Arashi didn't have time to celebrate her small victory since her father swiveled around and was now charging at her. She had to think fast; how could a lowly academy student hope to ever best a well trained graduate who'd seen more combat than she had ever dreamed about? The answer, simply, was she couldn't.
But that didn't mean she was just going to roll over and let her father beat the living daylights out of his little girl. No, she needed a plan. Granted it was going to fail but she made one anyways, wishing desperately that she'd woken her familiar who was even now sleeping atop her pillow. She could have used the mutt but she could manage without him. Another slew of hand seals . . . but that was interrupted by a fist heading fast towards her face. Dropping onto her knees kept her nose from being smashed but it didn't save her from the incoming knee. Luck and bending her body backwards, so she was leaning over her calves, did.
She kept bending backwards and put as much of her strength as she could muster into her legs as she pushed her knees against the ground, springing upwards and continuing backwards in a sloppy but successful contorted handspring. She landed wobbly on her feet and dashed forward to meet the next attack, ducking underneath that to land her first, and only, blow of the match. She'd been lucky and that was the only reason she'd clocked the man. That victory was shorter lived since a snap of man's elbow sent her reeling to the side, dazed.
By the time it was said and done, dawn was rising above the Hokage Mountain. . There were no words said between them the entire fight nor were there any when he'd gathered her up into his arms, they just were. In that final moment, right before she'd managed to throw her uncooperative body out of the way of his latest attack, she'd understood. Bloody, bruised, and in need of more than a few stitches, her father carried her back into their home; both shinobi were smiling.
She'd learned a valuable lesson about sloth and sacrifice, one that she desperately needed. But, she couldn't help but wish for a simple yelling at as her muscles cramped, sending her into blissful oblivion.
FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA, GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH PEOPLE!! That is directly aimed at the people from previously alluded to forum RP I frequent. [/end rant] Heh. . .
Alright, anyway...I wanted to post this up here because the character I've created is now happily residing in my head and said she's not leaving until she gets a fair shake at musehood. I know better than to think I can write as well as I delude myself into thinking so I need honest opinions. I'm going to put up the stats post and I'd like y'all to give me a honest opinion of if Ryougetsu Arashi isn't just some marblized Sue and can actually be worth the effort to give her something more tangible than slow-hunky-dori forum RP status. I'd really like to know. what I want right now is just brutal Honesty.
Just to clear up confusion that I know might arise while reading.
Ryougetsu Arashi is only tweleve.
Her father is Ryougetsu Gehai, born to the Ryougetsu Clan. Don't laugh, it just is.
Her mother was formally Inuzuka Arainami, is now Ryougetsu Arainami.
This is also why Arashi has a familiar; her mother insisted, she agreed readily.
Both her parents are Nin.
The Ryougetsu Clan are a the religious sect. Made up of mostly priests, monks, miko, excetra. You pray at a shrine, ten to one says that a Ryougetsu, or family in close relation of, runs it. Though, like the Uchiha, many are neither priests(excetra) nor shinobi. They have regular jobs at the market or what not.
Within the Ryougetsu there is a specific sect of warriors; these are their contribution to their village's defence. Once born into it it's almost a given you'll be Nin though not all follow tradition.
And most improtantly: The only reason the Ryougetsu Clan was created was to give me somewhere to pull a character from that has nary been seen. Religious aspects seemed to be pushed to the side so I wanted to bring them to the forefront since it's a big deal.
Any questions? Just ask. I'll answer them.
Woefully she'd taken the news of her apparent lack from her father. Considering that she practically idolized the man she was doing well not to burst into tears in front of him, or burst into tears once he left the room. All in all, she was stronger than she thought at this moment. However, that didn't alleviate the stinging of his harsh -- reality was they weren't harsh but truth is rarely pleasant -- words. Arashi didn't complain, merely nodded her head in acknowledgment of her lack and followed him into the darkened courtyard outside their home. She was going to pay for her pitiful abilities.
Not that she hadn't expected it. Truth be told, she was wondering why it'd taken [b]this[/b] long for her father, or any Ryougetsu really, to take notice and do something about it. Perhaps she'd finally become too complacent in their eyes and it was time to punish her. Oji-sama was probably chomping at the bit, waiting for his chance but, wisely, her father stepped in. The girl often wondered why they let her stray so far from this path. Had she not been expected to make it this far? Somehow that thought didn't anger her as it might once have; she knew that line of thinking did no one any good let alone herself.
Her father turned suddenly and lashed out, cuffing her in the head and sending Arashi to the ground. She quickly turned her fall into a tumble and ended up on the balls of her feet just a short distance away, waiting for the next attack. There was no time for shock, no time for the pain of the blow to register, as the seasoned shinobi flew threw a familiar set of hand seals and disappeared from view. Though she knew that he was still in the area, and probably right behind her at this point, the girl didn't make any attempt to get away. The man was testing her and she'd be damned if she failed in his eyes.
As she'd thought, he'd been behind her and landed a kick between her shoulder blades. The student flew across the dirt and grass but landed more gracefully as she twisted her body in mid-air to spring off her palms and land on her feet. She wasn't as swift as her sire but she could be nimble when she wanted; her hands slammed together in memorized patterns, focusing her chakra through her veins. Bunshin no Jutsu!!
Two clones were produced, a tad weak and ethereal but clones none the less, and immediately she set them in different directions. A Kawarimi no Jutsu later and she switched with one of her clones just as a fist centered on her right shoulder. The impact didn't fully land but there was a small ache where it began. Arashi didn't have time to celebrate her small victory since her father swiveled around and was now charging at her. She had to think fast; how could a lowly academy student hope to ever best a well trained graduate who'd seen more combat than she had ever dreamed about? The answer, simply, was she couldn't.
But that didn't mean she was just going to roll over and let her father beat the living daylights out of his little girl. No, she needed a plan. Granted it was going to fail but she made one anyways, wishing desperately that she'd woken her familiar who was even now sleeping atop her pillow. She could have used the mutt but she could manage without him. Another slew of hand seals . . . but that was interrupted by a fist heading fast towards her face. Dropping onto her knees kept her nose from being smashed but it didn't save her from the incoming knee. Luck and bending her body backwards, so she was leaning over her calves, did.
She kept bending backwards and put as much of her strength as she could muster into her legs as she pushed her knees against the ground, springing upwards and continuing backwards in a sloppy but successful contorted handspring. She landed wobbly on her feet and dashed forward to meet the next attack, ducking underneath that to land her first, and only, blow of the match. She'd been lucky and that was the only reason she'd clocked the man. That victory was shorter lived since a snap of man's elbow sent her reeling to the side, dazed.
By the time it was said and done, dawn was rising above the Hokage Mountain. . There were no words said between them the entire fight nor were there any when he'd gathered her up into his arms, they just were. In that final moment, right before she'd managed to throw her uncooperative body out of the way of his latest attack, she'd understood. Bloody, bruised, and in need of more than a few stitches, her father carried her back into their home; both shinobi were smiling.
She'd learned a valuable lesson about sloth and sacrifice, one that she desperately needed. But, she couldn't help but wish for a simple yelling at as her muscles cramped, sending her into blissful oblivion.