November update
Well, I've finally gotten an (admittedly small) amount of headway on the vast amounts of shit I need to accomplish, so I can finally stop being a hermit. Which is good, as I was starting to go a bit stir-crazy.
A couple weekends ago, as I mentioned before, I was puppy sitting. I have decided three very important things about puppies:
Then last weekend I went to see John and Hank Green, and got my copy of Paper Towns signed by John. It was so much fun. I had a blast. They are even more awesome in person. Before, Hank was kind of my favorite, because he is the "cute one," so to speak, and he writes hilarious songs, but now I am pretty much in love with John Green, because the man is an amazing writer. Seriously, everyone needs to go read Paper Towns. I don't care if it's in the young adult section, it is a really fun read. First of all, it's hilarious. And second of all, it raises a lot of good points about the idea of how you think of a person versus what they are really like. How you can love the idea of a person, and not really know the person's true nature. And public faces that we show to different people, versus private faces. I think it would have been really great for me in high school, because I was so in love with the idea of S. and the person I saw him as, and it took me many years to realize that nobody could ever live up to that ideal, not even S. himself. If that makes sense.
Speaking of the devil himself, I am going down to Chicago tomorrow and I am psyched. I will get to see everyone that I wanted to see, which is rare for me. Of course, I had to do all this "planning" stuff which is kind of hard for me. I am a little nervous about seeing S., because I haven't seen him in 8 months, which is the longest I have gone not seeing him. And I was actually okay with that, which was awesome. But I'm worried that once I see him everything will revert to how it was and we will have our little fucked-up co-dependent friendship and keep oscillating between hurting each other and feeling incredibly guilty about it. I have to keep telling myself that we have both changed, and things have not been that way for almost two years, and we're really not even close enough anymore to be that fucked up. But in a way... I miss our fucked-up-ness. I miss having him a bigger part of my life, and hearing about all his crazy escapades and ideas. And I miss his hugs. (The man gives amazing hugs. They feel like coming home.) I kind of wish I could have met him for the first time now, when I am all stable and healthy-- I wonder what our friendship would be like without all of our shit-filled history. If we would even be friends.
Anyhow, Chicago. Yes. Friends. Excited.
I also may have a roommate for next year (my current roommate will likely be moving in with his girlfriend. The bastard seriously does not know how lucky he has it). He's a coworker of mine, and he's pretty cool. He's one of the people that I was worried about losing touch with once I leave my job, because I don't really know how to ask him if he wants to hang out without sounding like I want to get a leg over him or something. ("Wanna come over and look at my record collection? ... I just meant... music, and my other friends are mostly philistines, and... nevermind.") Also he has stated that he is pro-heat, unlike my current roommate. The issues are mostly that a few of my friends do not like him (he supposedly "stole" some other friend's gf at one point), which really shouldn't matter because I should learn to care less what other people think if they're just going to judge. But I do. I will work on that. The other issue is that he does not know that I have the crazy. I don't think he'd care normally, but it is more of an issue when you are living with the person, you know? I don't know how to bring it up, but I just don't want to move into the apartment and then be like, "By the way, I'm manic depressive, and at some point during this year I will randomly burst into tears when you're talking to me." My current roommate is mostly good about it, but he doesn't really "get it," and it tends to feed into our bickering, which is incidentally a major reason why I broke up with him back in the day.
Also, I have a job interview Monday morning. Wish me luck!
A couple weekends ago, as I mentioned before, I was puppy sitting. I have decided three very important things about puppies:
- If I ever want a dog, I will be sure to have a fenced-in backyard.
- I will not get an actual puppy. I will adopt a house-broken, at least somewhat trained, full-grown dog.
- I will never be a single puppy-mother. I will wait until I have a permanent housemate.
Then last weekend I went to see John and Hank Green, and got my copy of Paper Towns signed by John. It was so much fun. I had a blast. They are even more awesome in person. Before, Hank was kind of my favorite, because he is the "cute one," so to speak, and he writes hilarious songs, but now I am pretty much in love with John Green, because the man is an amazing writer. Seriously, everyone needs to go read Paper Towns. I don't care if it's in the young adult section, it is a really fun read. First of all, it's hilarious. And second of all, it raises a lot of good points about the idea of how you think of a person versus what they are really like. How you can love the idea of a person, and not really know the person's true nature. And public faces that we show to different people, versus private faces. I think it would have been really great for me in high school, because I was so in love with the idea of S. and the person I saw him as, and it took me many years to realize that nobody could ever live up to that ideal, not even S. himself. If that makes sense.
Speaking of the devil himself, I am going down to Chicago tomorrow and I am psyched. I will get to see everyone that I wanted to see, which is rare for me. Of course, I had to do all this "planning" stuff which is kind of hard for me. I am a little nervous about seeing S., because I haven't seen him in 8 months, which is the longest I have gone not seeing him. And I was actually okay with that, which was awesome. But I'm worried that once I see him everything will revert to how it was and we will have our little fucked-up co-dependent friendship and keep oscillating between hurting each other and feeling incredibly guilty about it. I have to keep telling myself that we have both changed, and things have not been that way for almost two years, and we're really not even close enough anymore to be that fucked up. But in a way... I miss our fucked-up-ness. I miss having him a bigger part of my life, and hearing about all his crazy escapades and ideas. And I miss his hugs. (The man gives amazing hugs. They feel like coming home.) I kind of wish I could have met him for the first time now, when I am all stable and healthy-- I wonder what our friendship would be like without all of our shit-filled history. If we would even be friends.
Anyhow, Chicago. Yes. Friends. Excited.
I also may have a roommate for next year (my current roommate will likely be moving in with his girlfriend. The bastard seriously does not know how lucky he has it). He's a coworker of mine, and he's pretty cool. He's one of the people that I was worried about losing touch with once I leave my job, because I don't really know how to ask him if he wants to hang out without sounding like I want to get a leg over him or something. ("Wanna come over and look at my record collection? ... I just meant... music, and my other friends are mostly philistines, and... nevermind.") Also he has stated that he is pro-heat, unlike my current roommate. The issues are mostly that a few of my friends do not like him (he supposedly "stole" some other friend's gf at one point), which really shouldn't matter because I should learn to care less what other people think if they're just going to judge. But I do. I will work on that. The other issue is that he does not know that I have the crazy. I don't think he'd care normally, but it is more of an issue when you are living with the person, you know? I don't know how to bring it up, but I just don't want to move into the apartment and then be like, "By the way, I'm manic depressive, and at some point during this year I will randomly burst into tears when you're talking to me." My current roommate is mostly good about it, but he doesn't really "get it," and it tends to feed into our bickering, which is incidentally a major reason why I broke up with him back in the day.
Also, I have a job interview Monday morning. Wish me luck!