Week-end Review
Ok, so for those of you who don't know, Feast of the Dead was this weekend up in Huyett, MD. For those of you that also don't know, it is for amtgard. Not SCA or anything liek that. SO..for your viewing pleasure...enter my week..starting THursday night ending Sunday night.
Thursday Night- I make an ass of myself in class. I am pretty sure my cohort now wants nothing to do with me. I was talking about my research topic and trying to get help on making it better. It wasn't just me. Every group had to do this. Well, prof doesn't like my idea of measuring the amount of homosexuality or homophobia in the different academic majors at Clemson. It's more a matter of comfort level of the homosexuals in the feild. He wanted me to some how ask the homosexuals why they let themselves be oppressed, because part of oppression is that the victem helps it. Sure, this is true but to me that just stinks of blaming the victem. THen I pop out this analogy..I though tit was perfect appropriate. My classmates however, did not. I said, "How am I supposed to study that? It's like asking a rape victem why she allowed herself to be raped." Yeah, while I think it works as an analogy, it didn't go over well. Not only that, I wasn't pleasant in how I said it. The prof was pushing me farther than I could go in terms of frustration, and I made it obvious. My group mate didn't say a word. I found out later that this is because she felt like we were getting attacked and that we couldn't get a word in edge wise for the prof. I think I might have found his no-no button.
Anyways, I was planning on going out to drink...was too pissed and decided I didnt want to just in case I came across someone from my cohort. Shawn stayed the night so we could drive the next day. Please, get no ideas from this..Shawn and I will NEVER date or anything involved in that realm of thinking. The end.
Friday- We get up at 6:30am and head out at 7. I drive until my adrinaline wears out and then Shawn takes over for 3 hours. We drive almost 600 miles and get to MD. Darva helps me set up my new tent. I can't believe what a gentleman he is. My tent, btw, is palacial. It's friggin awesome. I can stand in it too! Kenti and Serina and their kids are also there. We pretty much just chill out for the night. I get some fighting lessons from Kenti and some of the Bitter Coast dudes.
Saturday- Wake up. Get dressed. FIght in Tourney. Beat an autistic guy that I didn't realize was autistic until I beat him. Felt really badly about it. He later got me back by shooting me in the back during the Company Battle. Other than that, I do poorly in the Tourney. Belgarin (ie: BelKev), a knight, takes his time out after beating me to teach me. Never before has this happened. I am so stoked.
Dragon's Cross takes the feild by ourselves for the Company Battle. We then join Bitter Coast and Sea of Rhye in the Dragon's Coast Confederacy during the class portion of the battle. We break the game. We had two sword knights and one warlord. Plus most of the armor or at least 3 archers. We broked it...Crystal Groves=not happy.
We chill on the field for a bit just talking. I get to know BelKev, Haggis, and Darva a bit more. That's cool. They are not assholes at all. Katie gives me a back massage which gets some of the knights going...haha. Then us ladies leave to take a shower. The guys want to join. I wanted to get all three of us clothed in the shower and take a picture on the camera phone and send it to them, but none of us had a camera phone.
I get dressed to bellydance. I get SOOOO many compliments. One dude was like, "You look beautiful. can I take a picture?" Veve was nice enough to remind me later what he could have been doing iwth it later. I didn't even think of it like that...so...ewwwww.
The feast was a buffet feast, which causes problems when you're supposed to be dancing at feast. a) people won't get the fuck out of your way. b) music can't get loud enough for everyone to hear because people won't stop talking. c) there is too much going on around you to be able to focus well on a dance. I danced to three songs. In the middle of the second one the music malfunctioned. That's when my nerves got the best of me. I started to full body shake. That doenst work when you're trying ot do shaking isolations for a drum solo...not at all. Afterwards the King calls me up and gives me one of his rings as a sign of thanks. It's a nice ring too.
Sunday- Drive forever home. Shawn drives. I sleep.
This was the best event socially I have been to. I felt accepted and like I had a family. Kenti and Serina made a point to tell me I was like a daughter to them. I have found at least one place down here where i feel accepted. Too bad it's still a 2.5 hour drive away.
I was asked at least 20 times if Shawn was my boyfriend and I always responded with, "He wishes but never". Or something to that effect. He was pissing me off the whole time because, well...I was babysitting. I foudn out later that he was on the verge of an anxiety attack the whole time. He was so socially awkward the whole time that it made it hard to be around him because I felt like I couldn't be myself without him judging me. I'm a flirt at events, esp when people say they like me. It's fun as hell to tease, esp when both of you know that nothign will come of it. I felt like I couldn't be myself like that with him around. He spent most of the event in his tent or drunk. On the way home he realized that he drank too much and wants to stop. He also realized he was reverting to his asshole self at the event. I said, "yes, you were." So next time I'm supposed to tell him. I don't feel it's my job to tell him. But I'd be more than glad to walk up and say, "listen, you're being an ass. Can you stop?" I'd rather just say, "Go the fuck away" because he's too emotionally needy. It's like being with zach all over again. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells the whole effing time. But now thta he's been to an event it is expected that he come to all other ones. ::rolls eyes::
In good news, Serina is trying to set me up with one of the guys from Dragon's Cross. Tehe. He's a great guy. I rather enjoy him. Perhaps that'll make things easier with Shawn...if I'm off the market he wont' be around as much. ding ding ding. Now, of course, that is no reason to get into a relationship...I know.
But, I 'd really like to just find some people here at Clemson, esp within my cohort. But student affairs seems to be one hypocritical mess. "Meet them where they are" is a bit thing in SA...but no one actually does it. They are uber judgmental and unaccepting of anything that is 'different'. Ug...anywho.
Sans the Shawn bit, I found myself happy and at ease for the first time this weekend. Thankyou Amtgard.
Thursday Night- I make an ass of myself in class. I am pretty sure my cohort now wants nothing to do with me. I was talking about my research topic and trying to get help on making it better. It wasn't just me. Every group had to do this. Well, prof doesn't like my idea of measuring the amount of homosexuality or homophobia in the different academic majors at Clemson. It's more a matter of comfort level of the homosexuals in the feild. He wanted me to some how ask the homosexuals why they let themselves be oppressed, because part of oppression is that the victem helps it. Sure, this is true but to me that just stinks of blaming the victem. THen I pop out this analogy..I though tit was perfect appropriate. My classmates however, did not. I said, "How am I supposed to study that? It's like asking a rape victem why she allowed herself to be raped." Yeah, while I think it works as an analogy, it didn't go over well. Not only that, I wasn't pleasant in how I said it. The prof was pushing me farther than I could go in terms of frustration, and I made it obvious. My group mate didn't say a word. I found out later that this is because she felt like we were getting attacked and that we couldn't get a word in edge wise for the prof. I think I might have found his no-no button.
Anyways, I was planning on going out to drink...was too pissed and decided I didnt want to just in case I came across someone from my cohort. Shawn stayed the night so we could drive the next day. Please, get no ideas from this..Shawn and I will NEVER date or anything involved in that realm of thinking. The end.
Friday- We get up at 6:30am and head out at 7. I drive until my adrinaline wears out and then Shawn takes over for 3 hours. We drive almost 600 miles and get to MD. Darva helps me set up my new tent. I can't believe what a gentleman he is. My tent, btw, is palacial. It's friggin awesome. I can stand in it too! Kenti and Serina and their kids are also there. We pretty much just chill out for the night. I get some fighting lessons from Kenti and some of the Bitter Coast dudes.
Saturday- Wake up. Get dressed. FIght in Tourney. Beat an autistic guy that I didn't realize was autistic until I beat him. Felt really badly about it. He later got me back by shooting me in the back during the Company Battle. Other than that, I do poorly in the Tourney. Belgarin (ie: BelKev), a knight, takes his time out after beating me to teach me. Never before has this happened. I am so stoked.
Dragon's Cross takes the feild by ourselves for the Company Battle. We then join Bitter Coast and Sea of Rhye in the Dragon's Coast Confederacy during the class portion of the battle. We break the game. We had two sword knights and one warlord. Plus most of the armor or at least 3 archers. We broked it...Crystal Groves=not happy.
We chill on the field for a bit just talking. I get to know BelKev, Haggis, and Darva a bit more. That's cool. They are not assholes at all. Katie gives me a back massage which gets some of the knights going...haha. Then us ladies leave to take a shower. The guys want to join. I wanted to get all three of us clothed in the shower and take a picture on the camera phone and send it to them, but none of us had a camera phone.
I get dressed to bellydance. I get SOOOO many compliments. One dude was like, "You look beautiful. can I take a picture?" Veve was nice enough to remind me later what he could have been doing iwth it later. I didn't even think of it like that...so...ewwwww.
The feast was a buffet feast, which causes problems when you're supposed to be dancing at feast. a) people won't get the fuck out of your way. b) music can't get loud enough for everyone to hear because people won't stop talking. c) there is too much going on around you to be able to focus well on a dance. I danced to three songs. In the middle of the second one the music malfunctioned. That's when my nerves got the best of me. I started to full body shake. That doenst work when you're trying ot do shaking isolations for a drum solo...not at all. Afterwards the King calls me up and gives me one of his rings as a sign of thanks. It's a nice ring too.
Sunday- Drive forever home. Shawn drives. I sleep.
This was the best event socially I have been to. I felt accepted and like I had a family. Kenti and Serina made a point to tell me I was like a daughter to them. I have found at least one place down here where i feel accepted. Too bad it's still a 2.5 hour drive away.
I was asked at least 20 times if Shawn was my boyfriend and I always responded with, "He wishes but never". Or something to that effect. He was pissing me off the whole time because, well...I was babysitting. I foudn out later that he was on the verge of an anxiety attack the whole time. He was so socially awkward the whole time that it made it hard to be around him because I felt like I couldn't be myself without him judging me. I'm a flirt at events, esp when people say they like me. It's fun as hell to tease, esp when both of you know that nothign will come of it. I felt like I couldn't be myself like that with him around. He spent most of the event in his tent or drunk. On the way home he realized that he drank too much and wants to stop. He also realized he was reverting to his asshole self at the event. I said, "yes, you were." So next time I'm supposed to tell him. I don't feel it's my job to tell him. But I'd be more than glad to walk up and say, "listen, you're being an ass. Can you stop?" I'd rather just say, "Go the fuck away" because he's too emotionally needy. It's like being with zach all over again. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells the whole effing time. But now thta he's been to an event it is expected that he come to all other ones. ::rolls eyes::
In good news, Serina is trying to set me up with one of the guys from Dragon's Cross. Tehe. He's a great guy. I rather enjoy him. Perhaps that'll make things easier with Shawn...if I'm off the market he wont' be around as much. ding ding ding. Now, of course, that is no reason to get into a relationship...I know.
But, I 'd really like to just find some people here at Clemson, esp within my cohort. But student affairs seems to be one hypocritical mess. "Meet them where they are" is a bit thing in SA...but no one actually does it. They are uber judgmental and unaccepting of anything that is 'different'. Ug...anywho.
Sans the Shawn bit, I found myself happy and at ease for the first time this weekend. Thankyou Amtgard.