(Untitled)

[sewn_to_all]

i'm not even here

Comments

[shaina_star]

This is really amazing.
I took my time reading this, and for some reason that always makes things interesting.

I love your writing.

I suck. I don't know your name.
Spill.

[sewn_to_all]

well, thankyou very much.
my name is Ray Swaney
yours? Shaina?

[shaina_star]

Yes, my name is Shaina. :)

[cicada_scribble]

Loved it, of course. It totally smacks of Cummings. If he lived nowadays he'd probably accuse you of plagiary.

[sewn_to_all]

how smacks it of cummings?
the ONLY thing i picked up from e.e. here
is how much space i left the poems to breathe in.

[cicada_scribble]

That and your use of combining words a lot and how you let your words and your stanzas hang open, as you say, space for the poem to breathe in. Also how you spell certain words the way they are pronounced and not at all how they are spelled. You had fun with it, perhaps that's simply what reminded me.

[sewn_to_all]

cool
i actually think most of that
(phonetic spellings, runningtogetherwords)
i picked up from kerouac
but i drfinately see the e.e. (he is one of my faves)

[her_raw_words]

this seems kinda...homesick.
adoring the drippiness of the words.
you make me want to write a

l
o
n
g

poem.

[sewn_to_all]

this piece started the way it did, becuz i said i was taking a break from lj
"not even here" is a half-joke
soooooo, i am interested
why does it seem homesick
(to you?)
just a feeling?
I'd like to know

[her_raw_words]

i just got a very nostalgic vibe on the first few readings.
this had a very 'memory' feel:
somewhere, iowa
i was thrown into the cornmaze

(fireflyguts lie
glowing science
boyplay
on strings
on rackets
in parks
on the river kalamazoo)

and

is the power of the middleclass (tack, panache, plaster)
is the burbs of painless mediation
pointless readings
and joy

made me think of my own hometown (don't you just adore how we all read thru a different lens of perspective?)

the repetition of i do not exist / i am not even here / etc. echoed the angry side of homesick that says, "what the hell??? how can you people be getting on with life, having regular days and normal nights, without me??? my absence should make as much noise in your life as yours does in mine!!)

[sewn_to_all]

i'm glad it gave you a vibe
i'm sure you deserved it

and i love the lenses, indeed

nice job as appreciator/co-author by the way