As the day goes by
I found my ring that I was missing! Yay. Turned out it was on top of the refrigerator. I always lose it up there?
Today is the one year aniversary of the loss of my virginity. And the parade that everyone have after. Haha those were some good times. I miss it so much.
Mine and Steve's one year aniversary is comming up. I love him so much. It's crazy to think I thought he was the biggest dickhole in the world and never ever wanted to talk to him. (Even though I still think he was...) Anyways I love him. You know our senior year I don't think I even concidered the thought that Steve and I would go back out. The thought that he would make me feel so great. Don't get me wrong I hated him... but I still couldn't stop likeing him. Everytime I would see him in the begining of our senior year I almost wanted to cry. Then it was ok when he started dating Kerri. I would just say to myself "He has a girlfriend he moved on you can too. He's an asshole anyways." I felt myself always reminding me of that. How he used to be. I think thats why I went with Ryan so fast. I didn't even know this guy and I just went right out with him. But it kinda hit me when he said he loved me and wanted to move close to me to see me ever day and how he said he wanted to marry me. AHHHhhh... Now talking about all that stuff with Steve comes so natural. Like it should happen and thats the way it's meant to be. I remember always telling Chris almost everytime I talked to Steve how I still liked him. Chris would just sum it up and me being lonley. But now, now I know I wasn't. About the end of the play Diary of Anne Frank was when I kinda gave up on likeing steve and just pushed those feelings away because it did look like him and Kerri where happy and there was no way of getting him back. It was like he didn't look at me the same way he did when he was with Jessie or any other girl. I knew I could have had him anytime I wanted. But at this piont I had just given up. Until... PROM.
Kerri came up to Chad and I and asked if we wanted to go out to coffee with her and Steve. I said sure. I remember sitting across from Steve and I just knew. Then when I started working with him it was a definate we where going to get back together. He started comming up to hang out with me, instead of trying to find her. Thanks to Erika they broke up. And a few weeks later we where going out. I remeber when i walked into his room and he still had some of the stuff that I gave him. I thought it was cute.
Meh enough of that. Wow. I miss my friends. Thinking of last summer makes me miss Autumn, Matt, Jeff, Amber Ryan and Joani.
Remember when we tore down all of that wallpaper and made a humongous mess!
It really sucks that things got so tense, still are at moments...
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I have this huge burn on my hand from a light and work. It is so ugly and it hurts. Speaking of work is going really bad. I don't feel like I am doing a good enough job. Parcially because I am not sure exactly what I am suppose to be doing now. I was kinda thrown into this position when everyone else was being trained I was at my play. Now I ahev fifty-million managers telling me not to do this, do that, this is what your suppose to be doing and I feel .. well.. Helpless and dumb. Chris Stevens made me feel really good at work on sunday when I was having a bad day he just kinda re-assured me. It was fun working with him. We got to talk alot. Steve shoudl be getting out of work soon. I have to go do my hair and what not.
Until next time cape crusaders!