Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder

[sexifulness]

Yes, i did just use Disturbia lyrics for the subject. But Punk Goes Pop 2 has been blasting from my speakers since i got home. I love The Cab, their cover definitely is my favorite. I like a lot of them but rihanna has always been one of my guilty pleasures. and two britney songs? you know the way to my heart <3 (Yes, i know that Toxic isnt an

Comments

[epigaea]

I'm never sure whether you want me to comment or not, but I feel like I could say something of use here

[sexifulness]

I do, i just dont want you to if its to hard or anything.

I really am moving backwards. like you said, you cant read my mind. I am back in the 5th grade. I was being to fucking emo today to really enjoy Lauren coming over. It was for fucked up reasons why she was here and its much worse for her yet im not the greatest at dealing. Im not as strong as id like people to think i am.

And i need to do something and if thats making life harder for me than fine. Id rather have regrets of letting myself get in the way of my dreams, not hating anyone else for my past mistakes. And this way theres no one i am forced to talk to deal with all of this

[epigaea]

Don't worry about me. I'm not as fragile as you think I am.
Bb, it's not your fault if you can't enjoy your sister's presence if she's not there for a good reason. There's reason to be emo about it. But you posting on lj like this IS your way of dealing with it, and its a good way. Don't worry about dealing with it. You thinking, posting about it, this IS dealing. And you don't have to be strong all the time. We all have our weak moments, especially me.
Making your life harder for yourself isn't a healthy way to deal. You don't need to regret, Caitlyn, you have your whole life ahead of you. You're brilliant, you're an awesome person, you're so fucking amazing. Fuck the past, you know? Fuck it. It's now, and you shouldn't blame yourself. You don't have to do this on your own. There are tons of people who love you and want to help you. You just have to say something.
You really are, bb. And that's a wonderful trait to have, to be honest.
Hope never killed anyone? Hope is what keeps people living.

[sexifulness]

I just dont wanna talk about it anymore, this way i can just let it go.

But thanks bb. I love you :)

[emmyatthedisco]

<333

[sexifulness]

♥

[not0_fuckin_kay]

Your friend up there said some really awesome things, and I can't even touch that, but, nobody can really never be happy. Even you bb. And you have to make yourself be happy-let yourself be happy, or no, you won't be. Don't deny yourself that right, find something, even something silly to be happy in and hold onto it. You can't be happy all the time, noone is, but if you can find a small slice of it and keep it close, it's all anyone can do.

[sexifulness]

haha, yeah. Shes my best friend in rl. shes saved me so many times and i owe a lot to her.

But thank you. I know all of this but it coming from other people helps. im more inclined to listen to it.
That is kind of what started this. I was celebrating my one year of not cutting and i was just genuinely happy. I put myself out there but my emo brought me back down. It was worse this time because usually when im happy i doubt it continuously but this time i was just free so it hurt more when i was brought down.

But im a lot better today.
*hugs*
Thanks :)

[not0_fuckin_kay]

Glad you're feeling better :)
Well you know, sometimes you just need a little clarification that you're not the only one who thinks like that-it's easier to take the advice of other people especially if it's something you'd say to someone else yourself. I don't know why lol, but taking your own advice rarely happens for most people I reckon. And if not cutting can be a constant good thing, it's much better than nothing. Never forget or take for granted what it must have taken you to get to a whole year, it's an awesome achievement. *hugs back*