[fic] trick; 02b
Trick; 02b
I felt sluggish, my mouth felt dry, really dry and nauseous. All I wanted to do was go back sleep, blissful sleep but I heard shouting, lots of angry voices all around and I hesitantly opened my eyes, just to regret it the next second.
Light flooded my vision, making me groan in pain and in turn, getting the attention of everyone in the room. Four pairs of eyes stared at me and I blinked my eyes blearily, ignoring the pain and stared at the four of them, Changmin, Yoochun, JaeJoong and Junsu.
Changmin and JaeJoong were face to face, barely any room between them with Changmin’s fists balled up against JaeJoong’s shirt. Yoochun stood behind Changmin, an arm around his shoulder while the other grabbed his arm as Junsu stood next to them mouth open and eyes narrowed in slits which slowly blinked at him now.
“Changmin, what are you doing?” I asked hoarsely, my throat felt raw and hurt to swallow.
JaeJoong pushed away Changmin roughly and picked up the glass of water near me, handing it to me with a small smile. I gave him a grateful look and gingerly took the glass, almost letting it fall out of my hands before JaeJoong caught it steadily and placed the cup to my lips. The cool liquid felt wonderful against my throat and I sighed contently.
“How are you feeling baby?’ JaeJoong asked softly, his hand taking mine and I tried to smile for him.
“Like shit, what happened?” I asked and felt everyone freeze. I gave JaeJoong a curious look and he looked away.
“I’ll go get a doctor” Yoochun said quietly and dashed out the room while Junsu flung himself to me, landing on my legs and giving me watery eyes.
“Yunho! We were all so worried! How are you feeling? Do you want anything? I’m so glad you’re okay.” Junsu wailed as he clutched my legs. I smiled and ran my hands through his hair and murmured I was okay.
The doctor entered the room, a tall brunette with glasses. He started asking questions and I answered them the best I could, still not understanding what was going on. That was until the doctored started explaining and everything came rushing back.
The restaurant, the food, the pain and I barely remembered being on JaeJoong’s back, his labored breath, his panicked voice yelling. I looked towards Jae and saw him bite his lips, hands clutching mine tightly.
Oh Jae, don’t blame yourself…
I sighed; no doubt Changmin had something to do with that. I tuned myself in with the doctor to hear what he had to say.
“You’ve been poisoned by what is called Staphylococcus aureus, it causes moderate to severe illness with rapid onset of nausea, severe vomiting, dizziness, and abdominal cramping. Bacteria produce a toxin in foods such as cream-filled cakes and pies, salads and dairy products. Contaminated salads at picnics are common if the food is not chilled properly. Do you remember eating anything like a salad? Or maybe some dessert?”
I frowned and tired to remember, but the night was hazy at best and I turned my head towards JaeJoong, pulling his hand lightly, silently asking if he knew.
“The restaurant we were at gave us a free salad to eat. I thought it was a bit weird but thought nothing of it. I didn’t want any but Yunho ate most of it. I didn’t think she would give us… “JaeJoong trailed off.
“You should be fine in a couple of days, meanwhile I would like to keep you here just in case.” The doctor, whose name escaped me said after explaining what was being done to me, quietly left the room.
Once the doctor left, the atmosphere in the room was stifling. Changmin stood glaring at JaeJoong, hands in tight fists until he finally snapped his eyes towards me.
“I told you this was a bad idea. Why couldn’t just fucking listen to me for once? This is what you get for trying to be a fag.” Changmin grunted out angrily, staring at Jae with accusing eyes.
“I expected consequences, how was I to know they would take it this far?” I said wearily, tired.
“That’s exactly it! You never fucking think.” Changmin said with distain. I sighed and looked away, not sure exactly what else to say.
“How could you let this happen?” Changmin then turned angry eyes to JaeJoong. Usually, Jae would glare back defiantly, his lips would turn in to a taunting smile and he would say something that he knew would piss Changmin off but this time, he bowed his said and apologized, shocking everyone in the room.
“I’m sorry” JaeJoong said again quietly.
“You should be! It should have been you in here instead of him.” Changmin said angrily and then Junsu was stalking towards Changmin and did the last thing anybody thought he would do, he slapped him hard, hard enough for Changmin’s head to snap loudly to the side.
“How could you? You’re supposed to be some genius aren’t you? A child prodigy huh? Why can’t you understand that love is love, despite the gender? I never thought I’d ever hear you say something like that, wishing this on anyone.” Junsu said quietly, eyes blazing and hands in tight fists, body shaking as if he was refraining himself from hitting Changmin again.
Changmin stared at Junsu with wide and surprised eyes, hand on his cheek with a weird look in his eyes. Junsu stared at Changmin steadily, eyes staring deeply in to Changmin’s, something passing between them wordlessly before Junsu turned towards me and gave me a slight smile, a promise to come back tomorrow before he practically flew out the room.
Changmin stood there, frozen for a while longer before he flew out the room, running after Junsu. Yoochun sighed heavily, muttering about idiots with issues before turning towards me.
“I’ll bring you some real food tomorrow. Get some rest” Yoochun said with a soft smile, a kiss on my cheek and left.
I turned towards the quiet JaeJoong and sighed. He looked defeated, his back was slumped in his chair, and his head bowed covering those beautiful eyes of his. I hated this look on him and so I harshly tugged on his hand.
“This isn’t your fault, stop blaming yourself.” I said softly, licking my dry lips. He still stayed quiet but then I heard a soft sniffle and a warm drop landed on my hand. I looked down and glanced back up to him, my eyes wide with surprise to realize Jae was actually crying.
Oh baby I thought softly and tugged him weakly towards me and he buried his head in my chest and cried. Cried like I’ve never heard him before, his whole body was shaking and he clutched me tightly, like I was the only thing grounding him.
It was refreshing and alarming to see this side of him. JaeJoong always was trying to stay strong for me, a silent strength and for awhile I relied on him. It was unfair to put some pressure on him but he was stubborn and I knew he was proud and happy with being that someone for me, my security blanket so to speak.
In all the years he’s never broken down, not like this. A few tears every now and then but they disappeared as quickly as they came. To see him break down this way, to finally let it all go, was refreshing and I was silently happy that he finally was able to let go. I hated the situation which had caused it but I couldn’t get everything could I?
I ran my hands softly through his hair, murmuring some nonsense I myself wasn’t sure what I was saying. I felt helpless and angry; angry that Changmin said such things to Jae, angry at the world for not understanding, disappointed that taking someone’s life is the solution. I was scared and I clutched Jae tighter to me, closing my eyes and did the only thing I thought I could do. I sang.
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago.
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two, wipe my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you.
I ignored the pain that went rippling through my throat, instead concentrated on running my hands through JaeJoong’s soft hair, taking in his quieting sobs and his frozen form as I sang this song. A song I wrote for him but never had the courage to show him.
And every long lost dream led me to where you are,
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars,
Pointing me on my way in to your loving arms,
This much I know is true.
God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.
JaeJoong glanced up and I smiled softly, wiping away his tears and shifted slightly, pulling on him insistently until he climbed the bed and laid down next to me. His arms came around my waist and placed his head between the crook of my neck and shoulder, breathing in my scent deeply.
I think about the years I spent just passing through.
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you.
But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand,
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true.
I close my eyes and pull Jae tighter to me, the words more true than I want them to be. Never wanting to show how much I really care. Never wanting to admit how much I wanted this love to be true. Too afraid, terrified of what that could mean. What are you doing to me Jae? Why couldn’t I get away from you? Why didn’t I want to…?
And now I’m just rolling home in to my lovers’ arms,
This much I know is true,
God bless the broken road that led me straight to you.
Jae lifts his head and stared at me with questioning, inquiring, wondering eyes. He wanted answers to question I didn’t even know how to being to answer. I softly stroke his cheek as I finish the song. What was going on between us?
“I wrote this song a couple of months ago.” I stated quietly, still staring deeply in to his eyes. Mesmerizing, they pulled you in refusing to let you go but I knew I didn’t want to. I wanted to get lost in his eyes, in him and it was terrifying and exhilarating.
“It’s beautiful” JaeJoong breathed out. I smiled at him and blinked my eyes to try to get rid of the drowsiness. I felt Jae’s hands softly running through my hair, massaging, and I contently closed my eyes.
“Sleep now” JaeJoong said quietly and I snuggled closer to him.
“I’ll always return back to you, no matter which road I take” I said sleepily, finally succumbing to the darkness missing the way JaeJoong’s hand faltered, the way his heart beat sped up or the longing that flashed through his eyes.
“I hope so” JaeJoong muttered as he fell asleep.
---
Junsu stomped towards his car, angry, no not angry, livid with Changmin. How can that boy be so stupid? How can someone so loving be reduced to something so hateful. I ignored all the stares I was getting and hurried to my car. I heard Changmin’s rapid footsteps and sped up towards my car.
I managed to get my car door open before I was grabbed and Changmin whirled me around to face him. I glared at him and resisted the urge to punch him. Ignorant, stupid fool, why did I ever love you?
“Get your hands off of me.” I said quietly. My voice was low and with the way his eyes widened a bit, I knew he was a bit surprised and scared the way I sounded. I wasn’t this angry or cold, ever.
“Junsu-“
“I don’t want to hear a fucking word from you.” I raised a hand and spat out. Changmin looked at me helplessly and for a moment I was reminded of a young boy, eyes wide uncertainty shining through them but a hint of love and lust in them. I looked away trying to push away the pang in my heart and clutched the door tightly.
“Don’t hate them for mistakes you made.” I said quietly and entered my car, shutting the door harshly. I hurriedly started the car and sped out the drive way; away from Changmin, away from a love that I desperately wanted to ignore.
---
I entered my apartment, flinging my car keys on to my table and immediately went to my liquor cabinet. Pouring myself a generous glass of whiskey, I went towards my stereo and played my favorite CD. Reclining in my chair I took a sip of whiskey and tried to relax. I let my mind wander and my mind filled with images of a past I desperately wanted to forget.
Two years, my god has it been so long already?
Changmin’s resistance to Yunho and Jae hyung’s career choice had more to do with himself than anybody realized. My own support for them had to do with my own past also.
I was so proud when JaeJoong told everyone about the group, about what his sexual preference had to be. I was proud and envious because I myself would never be able to come out so openly, I wouldn’t be able to accept something so sinful so proudly.
I look at those two and I really can’t help but smile. Even if it was an act, they were pretty damn convincing, even to themselves. Their kind of love was rare and envious. Who got chances like that? Finding someone who really understood you, someone who stood by you no matter what, no matter the consequences. Someone you knew would do anything for you.
Soul mates. Serendipity. Fate.
Despite my many dates, my confessions of love to girls and whining about girl problems, girls, woman weren’t what interested me, not really anyway. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in them at all; I was just more interested in guys.
Bisexual.
That was something I had a hard time understand. Liking men? Horrible, taboo and yet when a boy pressed up against me in the locker room one day, all I could think was how hot it felt, how good it was. Then Changmin came to me, explained his own similar problem and I didn’t feel so alone. I felt a connection with him I didn’t feel before. We had something in common, a common ground, and understanding between us.
Things got muffled when I started falling in love with Changmin, and then there was that disastrous and successful night after drinking. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to block out the thoughts. Trying not to remember how right it felt with him, how much I really missed him.
Junsu and Changmin.
No matter how many times I said our name together, it didn’t sound wrong. No matter how many times I thought about us together, it didn’t feel wrong, so why was it so wrong?
I sigh and knock back the rest of my drink before shutting off the stereo, making my way towards my bedroom, stripping out of all my clothes except my boxers and climbing in to bed.
Maybe tonight I wouldn’t dream of him, maybe I can forget I ever loved him. I laugh silently and bitterly, and correct myself. Not loved, love him. I close my eyes and drift to sleep, dreaming of warm embraces and gentle kisses, of a time when for once, things felt right.
To be continued.
Ah so a new revelation and couple, Minsu. ^^ I actually didn’t plan this couple until a couple of days ago when I was discussing this story with my peaches. Their past will be revealed in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was rather fun to write.
Remember to review~~ oh, and if anybody wants to know the song I used, its Rascal Flatts - God Bless the Broken Road. Beautiful song, sang wonderfully by them. Check it out. ^^
Until next time, sayonara<3