Miss Teacher: 7/12
Author's Note: My updating skills SUCK...but here's another part! :) Kisses and hugs for everyone that still stands me, lol.
They stood in her foyer, right in front of the stairs with the front door still ajar. Khun felt awkward and wonderful all at once.
He took in his surroundings, hoping to get the blood out of his face as he took a break from looking at her. Her home felt warm. He wondered how many times Chansung had been in there; eaten with her, talked to her, shared stories. He wanted that level of intimacy, of friendship. He was jealous and hopeful, but more hopeful at the moment. This should have been his last obstacle. After this, a common confession, they could get on with their lives...but there was still a barrier of not knowing what buttons to push or step away from, or how to go about starting things. At least it was a step. One at a time, he thought. Do something Khun...start.
"So..." Khun started.
He spoke up when the silence stretched to the point of making him redden again.
"So..." Vic replied.
They didn't intend for it to, but the situation felt like square one again. lt felt like they were back in kindergarten all over again, introducing themselves to the class and hoping they would be accepted.
"I read it," he continued. "Um. Well half of it."
He began to pull out the little book from his backpack, holding it like something dear as he bumbled and dropped his bag.
"The notebook?" Vic questioned.
"Yeah. Sorry...I'm a little nervous."
"Huh...you're nervous?" she asked sarcastically. "I don't even know what to say or... Well now you know."
"Yeah," he replied.
"Um. I don't want anything to be weird between us." Because it already feels that way, she admitted to herself. "So...I just wanted to put it out there-"
"I like you, too," he interrupted.
His head was down and hers shot up, trying to find his eyes but hitting the slight bangs on his forehead instead. It was a sudden confession, but he had to get it out, find equal ground in a room swirling with confusion.
"I know you probably wanted to talk about this, but I wanted to tell you Vic."
His head rose, only to see that her eyes were glossing over and now trying to avoid his gaze.
"Vic...I've always liked you. I've been writing just as long as you have Vic...about a lot of the same things. I just couldn't..." He gripped the book. "I didn't have the guts to tell you. ...then you gave me this."
Vic stood there, wondering if the universe was playing a cruel joke or giving her a bit of relief after her years of agonizing over him.
"That's not funny Khun-"
"I'm not joking. Um...hang on."
He bent over to grab at his book bag, digging into another pocket and pulling out a few sheets of paper. There were scribbles of his handwriting all over each one: letters. He picked one out a particular one and handed it to Vic.
"Here. You can read it here. ...if you want."
She timidly took it, glancing at the 'Miss Teacher' title at the beginning and the date at the top.
"You wrote this yesterday?"
"...kinda," he said.
Khun took a step back and looked back up, waiting for her eyes to look at the paper. When they did, he stood patiently as they trailed the lines on the sheet.
Miss Teacher,
She likes me.
Vic peered up at him and then back down.
I can't even complain today because I found out she likes me. It's funny. I should have just said something. She should have just said something. For the first time in a long, long time...I'm really happy. I think I should tell her, but I might need your help.
...wish me luck?
-Khun
Both of them were there, holding the other's work in their hands. Vic had to process it quickly. Khun had had a whole day with this information but she had only a few seconds. Thoughts jumped from confusion, to joy, to regret and then to reality. The opportunity to be with him stood, but she remembered someone.
"What about your girlfriend?" she asked solemnly.
"Her."
"Yeah her. What about her, Khun?"
"...we broke up."
"What?"
"Or...I broke up with her."
"How...when?"
Khun let the breadth of a few seconds pass before he breathed in deep and set a dead stare at her eyes. How he looked at her seemed like he was already begging for her understanding.
"Today."
"Khun...I can't-"
"Please don't tell me no. Or can't. I just need to know that we have a chance. I'm not saying it was the nicest thing to do but I...I don't want to settle anymore."
He handed her the book, letting his fingers settle by hers longer than should have been necessary. It made both of them stall their movements for a moment.
"I never liked her Vic."
Vic now held the book in her hands, waiting for some divine intervention that would tell her what to say or do. Wasn't this what she'd dreamed of since she was young? Or was it cruel to dash another girl's hopes of finding love in the process? Guilt was getting to her again. It was her cruelty that had split them for so long, and she felt at fault that it was now her that had just split Khun with his girlfriend. The prospect of her being happy with Khun came into view, but she couldn't be. Not yet.
"I didn't think you would like me. Ever. I just...maybe I just need a bit of time?" she questioned. "But why me? I was a...bitch to you. That first year and I don't even know what you thought about me after. We didn't speak for the longest time and... Why did you like me? Why do you like me? You don't know me-"
"I want to. ...I'd like to."
It was silent again and Vic wasn't moving. If Khun were sure, he would have assumed that neither of them were breathing, so he headed out first. He picked up his books, turned to leave and began to head out. He stopped in the doorway but didn't turn to her, saying a few last words instead.
"If you need time...I'll wait." He finally showed his face, all color flushed from it but the palest hint of a smile on it. "See you at school?"
Run Vic, she thought. Grab him before it's too late again.
"Sure. ...see you tomorrow."
But she didn't. Vic forced an equally weak smile on her face. She stood there and let him close the door behind himself. She stood there and heard fading steps leave her front porch. She stood still when almost a minute later he didn't return. It was then that Vic began to cry, emotions overtaking her as scorning herself for not following him.
---
Khun walked home quietly. Another long stretch of time set out before him as he began thinking.
Vic didn't know his side of the story yet, so all he could do was make conjectures about how she'd feel if she knew more about him. What was he feeling? Was it love? He'd known Vic long enough, but he knew he could have been closer. Chan could have confessed and it would have made sense. What right did he have to dump someone who was always with him and rush off to a friend? But people fell in love with their best friends all the time. But what about their enemies? Vic was kind of an enemy before all of this friendship business. And he'd never even tried her Chinese food. What would he do then? Marry her?
"Okay...it's official. I've gone crazy," Khun said to himself.
He heard the vibration before he felt it and rummaged through his bag to get his phone out.
C: You find Vic?
K: Yeah.
C: And?
K: And what?
C: Did you guys...talk?
K: Yeah. But I don't know man.
C: What do you mean? You kiss and it sucked or what?
K: Bye Chan.
The phone buzzed back a minute later, but Khun didn't open it to check the message right away. He was a little pissed to be honest.
C: Sorry. My bad. Too much?
K: Yes.
C: See you at school?
K: ...sure.
Khun watched his phone the rest of the night, hoping a certain someone would call him to talk.
"Don't want anything weird my ass. It became weird when you wrote a damn book about me," he mumbled into his pillows.
Still, he watched his phone, seeing it's glow brighten as night crept into his room. He kept tapping the screen and watching for notifications of any kind to pop up, but nothing did. He slept, backpack beside him, jeans still on, wrinkles of the covered pillows making grooved shapes into his swelling face. It saddened Khun a bit, but he didn't know. He didn't know of someone else who slept with dried tears on her face, waiting for a call from a boy she wanted to make time for right there, and right then.
---
The trio were at school the next day, Chan giving his girlfriend a break as he attempted to play mediator again. Both parties were friendly, albeit much quieter and more careful with their words. It wasn't until lunch that shit began to hit the fan. Chan meant well, but he didn't know of all the happenings of the night before, and his mouth wouldn't shut up before it crossed a line.
Vic was getting her food, coming in a bit later to lunch than usual. Chan assumed she was catching up with makeup work and took his free time to chat Khun up.
"You gave her a letter?"
"Yup."
"...that's a little cheesy dude."
"We're friends but you still have no idea how I feel about her?"
"But a letter?"
"I've written a lot of letters Chan." He took a swig from his milk and a deep breath. "...a lot."
Chan filled his mouth with a double-helping of food and scrunched his nose.
"I don't get you two. But whatever. As long as you aren't killing each other. ...but what about what's her face? Your girlfriend?"
"Ugh. Don't even talk about her."
"About who?" Vic interjected, tray in hand.
"No one," Chan said, mouth still full. "Sit."
She saw two empty chairs, one next to Chan and the other next to Khun. To the surprise of both, she slid next to Khun, bumping him a little as she sat. Khun stiffened up and she blushed.
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
Chan stared at the two of them as they looked at him, avoiding each other's gazes.
"Well," Chan said, "...I think that's my cue to get the fuck out of here."
"What?" "Huh?"
"Busy. Sorry guys."
He picked up his tray and winked at the two of them.
"Keep me posted."
Chan walked away and suddenly Khun was jumpy, awkwardness creeping back in. Dammit, why am I like this? he thought.
"I...have to get to class, too. I'd stay but-"
"No it's fine. I'm probably just going to have my head in a book the rest of lunch. Missed a bunch of classes-"
"I noticed. ...I mean, I know it sucks when you fall behind and-"
"Yeah."
"So...I'll see you later Vic." He rose and started to walk.
"Um...call me later?"
Call. Khun heard the word clearly and stopped.
"...sure."
A smile erupted on his face as he turned the corner to enter the hallway. He wanted to skip, but then someone would notice that. High five someone? No...that was just stupid. Instead, he stuck his hands in his pockets. The right pocket had a small crumbled piece of paper in it. Khun didn't remember putting it there before. It felt like a piece of lint before he pulled it out and read what was on it.
It had Vic's handwriting, tiny but very familiar.
I'm tired of waiting.
No. High-fiving felt perfect at that moment, and as he walked into his next class, he put a hand up for his teacher to hit. She wondered why he was so enthusiastic about math that day.
They stood in her foyer, right in front of the stairs with the front door still ajar. Khun felt awkward and wonderful all at once.
He took in his surroundings, hoping to get the blood out of his face as he took a break from looking at her. Her home felt warm. He wondered how many times Chansung had been in there; eaten with her, talked to her, shared stories. He wanted that level of intimacy, of friendship. He was jealous and hopeful, but more hopeful at the moment. This should have been his last obstacle. After this, a common confession, they could get on with their lives...but there was still a barrier of not knowing what buttons to push or step away from, or how to go about starting things. At least it was a step. One at a time, he thought. Do something Khun...start.
"So..." Khun started.
He spoke up when the silence stretched to the point of making him redden again.
"So..." Vic replied.
They didn't intend for it to, but the situation felt like square one again. lt felt like they were back in kindergarten all over again, introducing themselves to the class and hoping they would be accepted.
"I read it," he continued. "Um. Well half of it."
He began to pull out the little book from his backpack, holding it like something dear as he bumbled and dropped his bag.
"The notebook?" Vic questioned.
"Yeah. Sorry...I'm a little nervous."
"Huh...you're nervous?" she asked sarcastically. "I don't even know what to say or... Well now you know."
"Yeah," he replied.
"Um. I don't want anything to be weird between us." Because it already feels that way, she admitted to herself. "So...I just wanted to put it out there-"
"I like you, too," he interrupted.
His head was down and hers shot up, trying to find his eyes but hitting the slight bangs on his forehead instead. It was a sudden confession, but he had to get it out, find equal ground in a room swirling with confusion.
"I know you probably wanted to talk about this, but I wanted to tell you Vic."
His head rose, only to see that her eyes were glossing over and now trying to avoid his gaze.
"Vic...I've always liked you. I've been writing just as long as you have Vic...about a lot of the same things. I just couldn't..." He gripped the book. "I didn't have the guts to tell you. ...then you gave me this."
Vic stood there, wondering if the universe was playing a cruel joke or giving her a bit of relief after her years of agonizing over him.
"That's not funny Khun-"
"I'm not joking. Um...hang on."
He bent over to grab at his book bag, digging into another pocket and pulling out a few sheets of paper. There were scribbles of his handwriting all over each one: letters. He picked one out a particular one and handed it to Vic.
"Here. You can read it here. ...if you want."
She timidly took it, glancing at the 'Miss Teacher' title at the beginning and the date at the top.
"You wrote this yesterday?"
"...kinda," he said.
Khun took a step back and looked back up, waiting for her eyes to look at the paper. When they did, he stood patiently as they trailed the lines on the sheet.
Miss Teacher,
She likes me.
Vic peered up at him and then back down.
I can't even complain today because I found out she likes me. It's funny. I should have just said something. She should have just said something. For the first time in a long, long time...I'm really happy. I think I should tell her, but I might need your help.
...wish me luck?
-Khun
Both of them were there, holding the other's work in their hands. Vic had to process it quickly. Khun had had a whole day with this information but she had only a few seconds. Thoughts jumped from confusion, to joy, to regret and then to reality. The opportunity to be with him stood, but she remembered someone.
"What about your girlfriend?" she asked solemnly.
"Her."
"Yeah her. What about her, Khun?"
"...we broke up."
"What?"
"Or...I broke up with her."
"How...when?"
Khun let the breadth of a few seconds pass before he breathed in deep and set a dead stare at her eyes. How he looked at her seemed like he was already begging for her understanding.
"Today."
"Khun...I can't-"
"Please don't tell me no. Or can't. I just need to know that we have a chance. I'm not saying it was the nicest thing to do but I...I don't want to settle anymore."
He handed her the book, letting his fingers settle by hers longer than should have been necessary. It made both of them stall their movements for a moment.
"I never liked her Vic."
Vic now held the book in her hands, waiting for some divine intervention that would tell her what to say or do. Wasn't this what she'd dreamed of since she was young? Or was it cruel to dash another girl's hopes of finding love in the process? Guilt was getting to her again. It was her cruelty that had split them for so long, and she felt at fault that it was now her that had just split Khun with his girlfriend. The prospect of her being happy with Khun came into view, but she couldn't be. Not yet.
"I didn't think you would like me. Ever. I just...maybe I just need a bit of time?" she questioned. "But why me? I was a...bitch to you. That first year and I don't even know what you thought about me after. We didn't speak for the longest time and... Why did you like me? Why do you like me? You don't know me-"
"I want to. ...I'd like to."
It was silent again and Vic wasn't moving. If Khun were sure, he would have assumed that neither of them were breathing, so he headed out first. He picked up his books, turned to leave and began to head out. He stopped in the doorway but didn't turn to her, saying a few last words instead.
"If you need time...I'll wait." He finally showed his face, all color flushed from it but the palest hint of a smile on it. "See you at school?"
Run Vic, she thought. Grab him before it's too late again.
"Sure. ...see you tomorrow."
But she didn't. Vic forced an equally weak smile on her face. She stood there and let him close the door behind himself. She stood there and heard fading steps leave her front porch. She stood still when almost a minute later he didn't return. It was then that Vic began to cry, emotions overtaking her as scorning herself for not following him.
---
Khun walked home quietly. Another long stretch of time set out before him as he began thinking.
Vic didn't know his side of the story yet, so all he could do was make conjectures about how she'd feel if she knew more about him. What was he feeling? Was it love? He'd known Vic long enough, but he knew he could have been closer. Chan could have confessed and it would have made sense. What right did he have to dump someone who was always with him and rush off to a friend? But people fell in love with their best friends all the time. But what about their enemies? Vic was kind of an enemy before all of this friendship business. And he'd never even tried her Chinese food. What would he do then? Marry her?
"Okay...it's official. I've gone crazy," Khun said to himself.
He heard the vibration before he felt it and rummaged through his bag to get his phone out.
C: You find Vic?
K: Yeah.
C: And?
K: And what?
C: Did you guys...talk?
K: Yeah. But I don't know man.
C: What do you mean? You kiss and it sucked or what?
K: Bye Chan.
The phone buzzed back a minute later, but Khun didn't open it to check the message right away. He was a little pissed to be honest.
C: Sorry. My bad. Too much?
K: Yes.
C: See you at school?
K: ...sure.
Khun watched his phone the rest of the night, hoping a certain someone would call him to talk.
"Don't want anything weird my ass. It became weird when you wrote a damn book about me," he mumbled into his pillows.
Still, he watched his phone, seeing it's glow brighten as night crept into his room. He kept tapping the screen and watching for notifications of any kind to pop up, but nothing did. He slept, backpack beside him, jeans still on, wrinkles of the covered pillows making grooved shapes into his swelling face. It saddened Khun a bit, but he didn't know. He didn't know of someone else who slept with dried tears on her face, waiting for a call from a boy she wanted to make time for right there, and right then.
---
The trio were at school the next day, Chan giving his girlfriend a break as he attempted to play mediator again. Both parties were friendly, albeit much quieter and more careful with their words. It wasn't until lunch that shit began to hit the fan. Chan meant well, but he didn't know of all the happenings of the night before, and his mouth wouldn't shut up before it crossed a line.
Vic was getting her food, coming in a bit later to lunch than usual. Chan assumed she was catching up with makeup work and took his free time to chat Khun up.
"You gave her a letter?"
"Yup."
"...that's a little cheesy dude."
"We're friends but you still have no idea how I feel about her?"
"But a letter?"
"I've written a lot of letters Chan." He took a swig from his milk and a deep breath. "...a lot."
Chan filled his mouth with a double-helping of food and scrunched his nose.
"I don't get you two. But whatever. As long as you aren't killing each other. ...but what about what's her face? Your girlfriend?"
"Ugh. Don't even talk about her."
"About who?" Vic interjected, tray in hand.
"No one," Chan said, mouth still full. "Sit."
She saw two empty chairs, one next to Chan and the other next to Khun. To the surprise of both, she slid next to Khun, bumping him a little as she sat. Khun stiffened up and she blushed.
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
Chan stared at the two of them as they looked at him, avoiding each other's gazes.
"Well," Chan said, "...I think that's my cue to get the fuck out of here."
"What?" "Huh?"
"Busy. Sorry guys."
He picked up his tray and winked at the two of them.
"Keep me posted."
Chan walked away and suddenly Khun was jumpy, awkwardness creeping back in. Dammit, why am I like this? he thought.
"I...have to get to class, too. I'd stay but-"
"No it's fine. I'm probably just going to have my head in a book the rest of lunch. Missed a bunch of classes-"
"I noticed. ...I mean, I know it sucks when you fall behind and-"
"Yeah."
"So...I'll see you later Vic." He rose and started to walk.
"Um...call me later?"
Call. Khun heard the word clearly and stopped.
"...sure."
A smile erupted on his face as he turned the corner to enter the hallway. He wanted to skip, but then someone would notice that. High five someone? No...that was just stupid. Instead, he stuck his hands in his pockets. The right pocket had a small crumbled piece of paper in it. Khun didn't remember putting it there before. It felt like a piece of lint before he pulled it out and read what was on it.
It had Vic's handwriting, tiny but very familiar.
I'm tired of waiting.
No. High-fiving felt perfect at that moment, and as he walked into his next class, he put a hand up for his teacher to hit. She wondered why he was so enthusiastic about math that day.