Moe: Haywood yacuddleme? haywood yacuddleme? big guy in the back- haywood yacuddleme?

Moe: I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific.

ok.. i'm not a stupid guy.. i have a decent vocabulary...

but when i talk to you... all that goes out the window.. i really don't know how to express myself... i'm at a loss for words.

35 Lesser-Known Country Songs (I took all the crappy ones out ( Read more... )

me: [while peeing] yes, i'm in the bathroom
ashley: wow i'm in the bathroom too!
me: are you peeing?
ashley: no i'm taking a crap.. but still what a coinkydink

ashley: i'm making laura three year old cookies
me: are you making me three year old cookies?
ashley: did you have a breast reduction?
me: maybeee?
ashley: i didn't think so.

i caught someone writing on my bulletin board.

me: [walking down the hallway] What are you doing to my board? don't be writing shit on my board

kid: i just wrote 'go to the beach.'

me: i don't care. it's not an interactive board. don't be writing shit, unless its an interactive board.

kid: sorry.... *walks away*

rookie says i have the non-creepy factor going for me.. haha.

someday, somewhere, someone will think my patheticness is cute.

my room smells... like some kind of gasoline or diesel.. maybe car exhaust? i dunno.. whatever it is, its the same smell that i smelled when i was working with hirschback and kavi was there in scott lobby a couple weeks ago.... and it smells.... yucky.

if i die... well then... you know what it was.

*to the meow mix song*

meow meow meow meow,
meow meow meow meow,
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.