Someday I’ll need to stand tall again, stronger [almost_madeit]
“Come on, Sugarplum, it’s your turn for the stage.” Lorne kept nudging me and I shook my head.
“Not ready.” How about a week from never? No, I didn’t think so.
“You came here for a reason and we’re not going to know it until…” he insisted; yet again.
I sighed and shook my head, looking up at him. “I came looking for a job,” I point out to him and he just shrugs. Apparently singing for him is part of the application; I don’t understand how or why he won’t let me just sing privately, I’m not a public singer. I blush singing in the shower…
“I’m a persistent demon and I know you have an angelic set of pipes on you. It’ll do this place some good tonight.” He grimaced as another quite bad rendition of ‘I will survive’ was belted out by another demon on stage.
Dragging my fingers through my hair I relent and look down at my feet. “Alright,” I whisper, laughing slightly at his joyous reaction and leaving me with Hilda to pick out my music. It was easy the song I wanted to sing, it was simple and soft and I knew that it was easiest to sing from the heart and after everything that happened that’s all my heart was looking for.
Never before had five minutes seemed to last hours. The urge to turn and bolt for the door was licking its flames at my heals; yet I’m just frozen in place, pulling at my sleeves to my army green shirt as I lean against the wall, getting my bearings and trying to tune Lorne out when he gets up on stage, telling the crowded demon bar that they were in for a treat…that was still up for debate.
I stop tugging at my sleeves and walk up to the stage, standing on the new - slime free - stool that Lorne pulled out for me. I sit and hook the back of my shoes to the rung at the bottom, placing my hands in my lap and closing my eyes as the soft melody of the guitar fills my ears. I tune everything but the music out. Nothing in the room but the guitar and the memories in my mind…
I felt the faint trace of thunder
Rattle this old house
I saw the fire light the sky
But there's no sign of rain anywhere
“You need…you need to be with the person you l-love…” I whispered.
“I know, Tara…I am and…but…it’s Oz and…” Willow stammered over her words, a sad smile on my lips as I reached for her hands and pulled her to the beat up couch in the corner of my room.
I nod and brush her red hair from her eyes. “I know, it’s okay. I wouldn’t want you to be w-with someone you didn’t…”
“But I do…”
“But it’s Oz and…” My smile turns even sadder as I hide behind my hair. “You have another chance. Embrace it. W-we can still be f-friends…” I didn’t want it to sound like a line; it wasn’t meant to be. But it was, wasn’t it…
“We will.” Broken promises. Another thing that wasn’t meant to be.
I need a hurricane
To empty out this place
Seems it's the only way
To salvage any sense I have left
To move on
Two…three…four times her phone rang; I nervously bit my lip and waited for the answering machine to pick up. ‘It’s Willow, you know to wait for the beeping thing…’ I sighed. “Hey Willow, it’s Tara…just thought that…Never mind. I called and, you have my number.” I’ve only called…too many times for me not to be embarrassed about.
I'm waiting
To hear your voice again
And lighten up this heart
I'm holding on to stupid memories
But I see you in every little thing
I shifted my books in my arms, my head tipping to the side as I saw a note stuck to my door, my name written neatly on it. Pulling it down I make my way into the dorm and set my books down on the desk. I pull the paper out and sit at the desk as I read.
Tara,
Hey, it’s Willow and well…I got your message..es…and I’ve been meaning to get back to you but since Oz came back well. I’m sure you guessed things have been busy and such.
Things with the gang are good and all that stuff and I want to get in touch with you again, talk and stuff but…I can’t sadly seem to find the time. I wanted to steal you away this weekend for some talking and…
Oz gave me some news and I can’t see that happening. I’m sorry, I want it too but…
See, he’s um…He’s taking me to Tibet with him, he wants to show me all the things he learned and so we can learn more together and…
I’m sorry, I really am…
- Willow
PS! You know my Email and if I get a time/place to check it I hope to hear from you…
I need a hurricane
To straighten out this place
It maybe the only way
To salvage any sense I have left
To move on
Class…Study…Sleep…Eat… Rinse and repeat.
Things became pretty routine for me after Willow went away. I’m happy for her I just…I miss my friend and knowing that there was someone else that was into magic like I was. It was nice to have someone to talk to that I wouldn’t feel like I needed to hide…I haven’t had that since mamma died.
With my birthday coming up I had even more worries that by far overshadowed the pangs of loneliness that made a home in the pit of my stomach.
I need a hurricane
To ravage through place
I think it's the only way
To salvage any sense
I have left
To move on
Everything turned on its axis a week before I turned twenty. The three people I wished to see no more showed up and…I was alone with nobody to turn to. “Cousin Beth…”
“Hello Cousin. You didn’t think we’d let your birthday come and go without…”
“N-no I didn’t…I…”
“You didn’t. You’re nothing but selfish Tara Maclay! You go off and leave your father and brother to do such tedious things as cooking and laundry. That’s your place and we know it.” I stayed quiet, emotions churning in the pit of my stomach. “Your father is parking with your brother, won’t they be tickled pink to see that their sweet Tara’s okay.”
“F-father and Donnie…”
“Yes, we’ve come to take you home. Your place is with us. Why don’t you make things easier for us and get your bag now. I doubt anyone here in this new ‘life’ you have is going to want anything to do with you once they know that you’re nothing but a filthy demon under human skin…”
I swallowed hard and looked down, feeling defeated and nodding. “I’ll g-go get my things…W-wait here, I don’t h-have much and…”
“Stop stammering and just go. I’m getting a headache.” Cousin Beth sat on the bench and I crossed my arms over myself. I hurried back to the dorm and packed; but I wasn’t going back down there, I couldn’t go back home. I wasn’t home to me since Mamma died and…
When I left the first time I was determined to make a life for myself; to find myself and be happy. That’s what I was going to do.
Biting my lip I gather the few things I can - laptop, a few books, things that were precious to me and some clothes - before locking my door, leaving the keys inside and heading down the back stairs of the building and hoping I could catch the local bus to the Greyhound before they found me…
I felt the faint trace of thunder
But there's no sign of rain anywhere
No, there's no sign of you anywhere
The memories of the past year faded as last note left my lips and the music stopping a moment later as I took a deep breath, I opened my eyes and found a pair of dark brown eyes piercing into me. I found myself staring back, my spine tingling and my own eyes unable to look away until Lorne drug me off the stage, muttering that I was starting to look like a deer in headlights.
“Not ready.” How about a week from never? No, I didn’t think so.
“You came here for a reason and we’re not going to know it until…” he insisted; yet again.
I sighed and shook my head, looking up at him. “I came looking for a job,” I point out to him and he just shrugs. Apparently singing for him is part of the application; I don’t understand how or why he won’t let me just sing privately, I’m not a public singer. I blush singing in the shower…
“I’m a persistent demon and I know you have an angelic set of pipes on you. It’ll do this place some good tonight.” He grimaced as another quite bad rendition of ‘I will survive’ was belted out by another demon on stage.
Dragging my fingers through my hair I relent and look down at my feet. “Alright,” I whisper, laughing slightly at his joyous reaction and leaving me with Hilda to pick out my music. It was easy the song I wanted to sing, it was simple and soft and I knew that it was easiest to sing from the heart and after everything that happened that’s all my heart was looking for.
Never before had five minutes seemed to last hours. The urge to turn and bolt for the door was licking its flames at my heals; yet I’m just frozen in place, pulling at my sleeves to my army green shirt as I lean against the wall, getting my bearings and trying to tune Lorne out when he gets up on stage, telling the crowded demon bar that they were in for a treat…that was still up for debate.
I stop tugging at my sleeves and walk up to the stage, standing on the new - slime free - stool that Lorne pulled out for me. I sit and hook the back of my shoes to the rung at the bottom, placing my hands in my lap and closing my eyes as the soft melody of the guitar fills my ears. I tune everything but the music out. Nothing in the room but the guitar and the memories in my mind…
I felt the faint trace of thunder
Rattle this old house
I saw the fire light the sky
But there's no sign of rain anywhere
“You need…you need to be with the person you l-love…” I whispered.
“I know, Tara…I am and…but…it’s Oz and…” Willow stammered over her words, a sad smile on my lips as I reached for her hands and pulled her to the beat up couch in the corner of my room.
I nod and brush her red hair from her eyes. “I know, it’s okay. I wouldn’t want you to be w-with someone you didn’t…”
“But I do…”
“But it’s Oz and…” My smile turns even sadder as I hide behind my hair. “You have another chance. Embrace it. W-we can still be f-friends…” I didn’t want it to sound like a line; it wasn’t meant to be. But it was, wasn’t it…
“We will.” Broken promises. Another thing that wasn’t meant to be.
I need a hurricane
To empty out this place
Seems it's the only way
To salvage any sense I have left
To move on
Two…three…four times her phone rang; I nervously bit my lip and waited for the answering machine to pick up. ‘It’s Willow, you know to wait for the beeping thing…’ I sighed. “Hey Willow, it’s Tara…just thought that…Never mind. I called and, you have my number.” I’ve only called…too many times for me not to be embarrassed about.
I'm waiting
To hear your voice again
And lighten up this heart
I'm holding on to stupid memories
But I see you in every little thing
I shifted my books in my arms, my head tipping to the side as I saw a note stuck to my door, my name written neatly on it. Pulling it down I make my way into the dorm and set my books down on the desk. I pull the paper out and sit at the desk as I read.
Tara,
Hey, it’s Willow and well…I got your message..es…and I’ve been meaning to get back to you but since Oz came back well. I’m sure you guessed things have been busy and such.
Things with the gang are good and all that stuff and I want to get in touch with you again, talk and stuff but…I can’t sadly seem to find the time. I wanted to steal you away this weekend for some talking and…
Oz gave me some news and I can’t see that happening. I’m sorry, I want it too but…
See, he’s um…He’s taking me to Tibet with him, he wants to show me all the things he learned and so we can learn more together and…
I’m sorry, I really am…
- Willow
PS! You know my Email and if I get a time/place to check it I hope to hear from you…
I need a hurricane
To straighten out this place
It maybe the only way
To salvage any sense I have left
To move on
Class…Study…Sleep…Eat… Rinse and repeat.
Things became pretty routine for me after Willow went away. I’m happy for her I just…I miss my friend and knowing that there was someone else that was into magic like I was. It was nice to have someone to talk to that I wouldn’t feel like I needed to hide…I haven’t had that since mamma died.
With my birthday coming up I had even more worries that by far overshadowed the pangs of loneliness that made a home in the pit of my stomach.
I need a hurricane
To ravage through place
I think it's the only way
To salvage any sense
I have left
To move on
Everything turned on its axis a week before I turned twenty. The three people I wished to see no more showed up and…I was alone with nobody to turn to. “Cousin Beth…”
“Hello Cousin. You didn’t think we’d let your birthday come and go without…”
“N-no I didn’t…I…”
“You didn’t. You’re nothing but selfish Tara Maclay! You go off and leave your father and brother to do such tedious things as cooking and laundry. That’s your place and we know it.” I stayed quiet, emotions churning in the pit of my stomach. “Your father is parking with your brother, won’t they be tickled pink to see that their sweet Tara’s okay.”
“F-father and Donnie…”
“Yes, we’ve come to take you home. Your place is with us. Why don’t you make things easier for us and get your bag now. I doubt anyone here in this new ‘life’ you have is going to want anything to do with you once they know that you’re nothing but a filthy demon under human skin…”
I swallowed hard and looked down, feeling defeated and nodding. “I’ll g-go get my things…W-wait here, I don’t h-have much and…”
“Stop stammering and just go. I’m getting a headache.” Cousin Beth sat on the bench and I crossed my arms over myself. I hurried back to the dorm and packed; but I wasn’t going back down there, I couldn’t go back home. I wasn’t home to me since Mamma died and…
When I left the first time I was determined to make a life for myself; to find myself and be happy. That’s what I was going to do.
Biting my lip I gather the few things I can - laptop, a few books, things that were precious to me and some clothes - before locking my door, leaving the keys inside and heading down the back stairs of the building and hoping I could catch the local bus to the Greyhound before they found me…
I felt the faint trace of thunder
But there's no sign of rain anywhere
No, there's no sign of you anywhere
The memories of the past year faded as last note left my lips and the music stopping a moment later as I took a deep breath, I opened my eyes and found a pair of dark brown eyes piercing into me. I found myself staring back, my spine tingling and my own eyes unable to look away until Lorne drug me off the stage, muttering that I was starting to look like a deer in headlights.