Tempus Fugit, by canadian_snoopy (38 minutes challenge)
Title: Tempus Fugit
Author: canadian_snoopy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1063
Spoilers: Siege II
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Rodney had never seen the point in quiet suffering.
Notes: Un-beta'ed, first attempt at SG:A fiction. Read at your own risk. Written in 31 minutes, with an additional 3 for edit.
T minus - 00:00:14
"They’re right, you know -- you really *do* always remember your first time.
"Granted, I was seven the first time I nearly blew myself up but I was always ahead of the curve."
He wiped sweaty palms against his pants and muttered, "Here goes nothing," and had just enough time to think about how much he hated, *hated* certain doom when there was a sound like an alarm clock behind him and white washed over him.
T minus - 00:03:36
"And you know, I still maintain that Mothra should’ve totally been able to kick Godzilla’s ass.
"My favourite though were those Warner Brother cartoons, Bugs and Tweety and the Coyote. I *loved* them. In fact, I was convinced that there was this huge conspiracy to keep me away from Acme because, seriously, those guys had really, really cool stuff. In fact, given my current situation, I would say that the Ancients could’ve learned a thing or two from the Acme Corporation. You hear that, you stupid, *stupid* squid people? You are on Rodney McKay’s shit list, along with half the St. George staff and more than a few Russians.
"Huh. As if they care.
"Approach continues, by the way.
"So, back to my story... since I couldn’t order from Acme, I thought I’d do the next best thing and make my own rocket skates. And what I did was wait until mom went shopping and dad was at work and Jeannie was at school and then I snuck down to the garage. I don’t know *what* I thought I’d find down there but I was seven and the garage always smelled funny -- I probably thought that meant there were things to make big booms down there.
"Don’t laugh! I was *seven*, which, granted, meant I was already smarter than most of my peer group but I still thought it was possible to be both Prime Minister of Canada *and* an X-Man so what the hell did I know?
"Anyway, I stole Jeannie’s roller skates, the really old ones with the strap around the ankles and over the toes to attach them to your shoes, and I tried to duct tape these empty toilet paper rolls I’d collected beforehand to the back of the skates.
"Of course, I'd filled the tubes with the fireworks my dad had hidden in the garage for Victoria Day and nearly blew myself up in the process.
"As far as I know, the scorch stain’s still on the ceiling of the garage."
T minus - 00:04:14
"I remember being itchy and miserable. The calamine didn’t *do* anything except make me *pink* and itchy and miserable but mom was sure that calamine and bed rest was the way to go so I got the calamine bath.
"The only good thing about the chicken pox was that my dad hauled the television up to my room so that I wouldn’t get bored. I ended up watching cartoons and those really bad B movies that they tend to show in the middle of the afternoon because everyone’s either at work or at school.
"Jesus Christ, there's a lot of darts..."
T minus - 00:06:13
"Atlantis, I don’t know if you can hear me -- for all I know everyone’s already evacuated -- but just in case, I am confirming that Sheppard’s taken out the first ship."
Somehow, the Hive ship managed to be even *more* terrifying up close. Rodney wouldn’t have thought that was possible, given how the thing was pretty goddamned terrifying from across the galaxy, but it just went to show you that things really always *could* get worse.
And people thought he was pessimistic. *Ha*.
The first ship was burning and tilting drunkenly in space, toxic-looking black liquid spewing out of its punctured hull like the worst kind of blood.
"Way to go John."
T minus - 00:08:49
"Atlantis, come in.
"Elizabeth? Carson?
"Atlantis, this is Jumper Two, please respond.
"Yeah, okay, so I knew this would happen. Stupid radiation, stupid RF signals."
He takes a deep breath because that's pretty much the only thing he can do without bursting into very unmanly tears and begins his report. "Okay, okay. Cloak is on, nuke is armed. Ten minute countdown has started, which I want to go on the record as saying, manages to both suck *and* blow.
"That’s right, I said it. Rodney McKay is an *incredibly* reluctant hero. Carson, you rock throwing ass, if you manage to get yourself killed in the next ten minutes because you didn’t duck a Wraith stunner, I am *so* going to haunt you.
"And guys, just in case you are hearing this and can’t reply -- which really, why *not*, it’s been that kind of day for me -- would you please tell Samantha Carter when you see her that her Mark II generator is the crappiest piece of crap to ever crap? Seriously, just... pfft."
T minus - 00:09:58
Goodbye was in Czech because Radek tended to slip back to his native tongue when he was pissed beyond belief.
Rodney had first noted that when he’d accidentally zapped Zelenka with the static generator in one of the upper-level labs. Although, from the way the man had cursed you’d have thought he’d gotten hit with a lightning bolt, the big baby.
T minus - 00:12:46
The blue dot that was Sheppard disappeared, as did all of the other red dots on the heads up display. Given how the nuke just wasn’t *that* powerful -- and didn’t that just put another nail in the coffin that was his dislike for the Genii? -- Rodney knew that meant that they were sensor blind. Again.
He’d opened his mouth to bitch because calibrating the sensors *again* was not his idea of a good time but the lump in his throat was making speech unlikely and breathing evenly was becoming a real issue.
Goddamn fly boys with martyr complexes.
Elizabeth’s eyes were mysteriously bright as she turned to look at him. "Rodney..."
Goddamn it.
God *fucking* damn it. He'd hated a lot of things in his life, too numerous to count, but this fucking galaxy was quickly moving up to take the top spot in his all-time list.
"Okay Carson -- what do you say to rock, paper, scissors?"
T minus - 00:13:14
"You know, if this works, somebody might have to do it again."
The End
Author: canadian_snoopy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1063
Spoilers: Siege II
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Rodney had never seen the point in quiet suffering.
Notes: Un-beta'ed, first attempt at SG:A fiction. Read at your own risk. Written in 31 minutes, with an additional 3 for edit.
T minus - 00:00:14
"They’re right, you know -- you really *do* always remember your first time.
"Granted, I was seven the first time I nearly blew myself up but I was always ahead of the curve."
He wiped sweaty palms against his pants and muttered, "Here goes nothing," and had just enough time to think about how much he hated, *hated* certain doom when there was a sound like an alarm clock behind him and white washed over him.
T minus - 00:03:36
"And you know, I still maintain that Mothra should’ve totally been able to kick Godzilla’s ass.
"My favourite though were those Warner Brother cartoons, Bugs and Tweety and the Coyote. I *loved* them. In fact, I was convinced that there was this huge conspiracy to keep me away from Acme because, seriously, those guys had really, really cool stuff. In fact, given my current situation, I would say that the Ancients could’ve learned a thing or two from the Acme Corporation. You hear that, you stupid, *stupid* squid people? You are on Rodney McKay’s shit list, along with half the St. George staff and more than a few Russians.
"Huh. As if they care.
"Approach continues, by the way.
"So, back to my story... since I couldn’t order from Acme, I thought I’d do the next best thing and make my own rocket skates. And what I did was wait until mom went shopping and dad was at work and Jeannie was at school and then I snuck down to the garage. I don’t know *what* I thought I’d find down there but I was seven and the garage always smelled funny -- I probably thought that meant there were things to make big booms down there.
"Don’t laugh! I was *seven*, which, granted, meant I was already smarter than most of my peer group but I still thought it was possible to be both Prime Minister of Canada *and* an X-Man so what the hell did I know?
"Anyway, I stole Jeannie’s roller skates, the really old ones with the strap around the ankles and over the toes to attach them to your shoes, and I tried to duct tape these empty toilet paper rolls I’d collected beforehand to the back of the skates.
"Of course, I'd filled the tubes with the fireworks my dad had hidden in the garage for Victoria Day and nearly blew myself up in the process.
"As far as I know, the scorch stain’s still on the ceiling of the garage."
T minus - 00:04:14
"I remember being itchy and miserable. The calamine didn’t *do* anything except make me *pink* and itchy and miserable but mom was sure that calamine and bed rest was the way to go so I got the calamine bath.
"The only good thing about the chicken pox was that my dad hauled the television up to my room so that I wouldn’t get bored. I ended up watching cartoons and those really bad B movies that they tend to show in the middle of the afternoon because everyone’s either at work or at school.
"Jesus Christ, there's a lot of darts..."
T minus - 00:06:13
"Atlantis, I don’t know if you can hear me -- for all I know everyone’s already evacuated -- but just in case, I am confirming that Sheppard’s taken out the first ship."
Somehow, the Hive ship managed to be even *more* terrifying up close. Rodney wouldn’t have thought that was possible, given how the thing was pretty goddamned terrifying from across the galaxy, but it just went to show you that things really always *could* get worse.
And people thought he was pessimistic. *Ha*.
The first ship was burning and tilting drunkenly in space, toxic-looking black liquid spewing out of its punctured hull like the worst kind of blood.
"Way to go John."
T minus - 00:08:49
"Atlantis, come in.
"Elizabeth? Carson?
"Atlantis, this is Jumper Two, please respond.
"Yeah, okay, so I knew this would happen. Stupid radiation, stupid RF signals."
He takes a deep breath because that's pretty much the only thing he can do without bursting into very unmanly tears and begins his report. "Okay, okay. Cloak is on, nuke is armed. Ten minute countdown has started, which I want to go on the record as saying, manages to both suck *and* blow.
"That’s right, I said it. Rodney McKay is an *incredibly* reluctant hero. Carson, you rock throwing ass, if you manage to get yourself killed in the next ten minutes because you didn’t duck a Wraith stunner, I am *so* going to haunt you.
"And guys, just in case you are hearing this and can’t reply -- which really, why *not*, it’s been that kind of day for me -- would you please tell Samantha Carter when you see her that her Mark II generator is the crappiest piece of crap to ever crap? Seriously, just... pfft."
T minus - 00:09:58
Goodbye was in Czech because Radek tended to slip back to his native tongue when he was pissed beyond belief.
Rodney had first noted that when he’d accidentally zapped Zelenka with the static generator in one of the upper-level labs. Although, from the way the man had cursed you’d have thought he’d gotten hit with a lightning bolt, the big baby.
T minus - 00:12:46
The blue dot that was Sheppard disappeared, as did all of the other red dots on the heads up display. Given how the nuke just wasn’t *that* powerful -- and didn’t that just put another nail in the coffin that was his dislike for the Genii? -- Rodney knew that meant that they were sensor blind. Again.
He’d opened his mouth to bitch because calibrating the sensors *again* was not his idea of a good time but the lump in his throat was making speech unlikely and breathing evenly was becoming a real issue.
Goddamn fly boys with martyr complexes.
Elizabeth’s eyes were mysteriously bright as she turned to look at him. "Rodney..."
Goddamn it.
God *fucking* damn it. He'd hated a lot of things in his life, too numerous to count, but this fucking galaxy was quickly moving up to take the top spot in his all-time list.
"Okay Carson -- what do you say to rock, paper, scissors?"
T minus - 00:13:14
"You know, if this works, somebody might have to do it again."
The End