When Ronon Converted by dossier, PG Rodney/Ronon (Amnesty 2006, Culture Clash Challenge)
Title: When Ronon Converted
Author: dossier
Characters: Rodney McKay/Ronon Dex
Category: humor, hopefully.
Rating: PG for a few bad words
Warning: Religion, also I lack a beta reader.
Spoilers: Very very vague for The Return Part II and Sateda
Words: ~1400
Summary: In which Ronon finds religion, Rodney is pissed, John’s amused and Teyla is sour.
When Ronon converted to Christianity, Sheppard was amused and Teyla understood the need to believe in a higher power--she'd suffered through losing her faith in the Ancients--but she was uncharacteristically sour on the subject since their return to Atlantis.
Rodney, it didn't even blip his radar. He'd never said anything about Ronon's previous belief system, and swapping the Ancients for The Holy Trinity wasn't cause for comment, unless it was bitching about the hours spent with Beckwith, lately of the Daedalus. That is, until Ronon broke up with him, which *certainly* got his attention.
It started like this:
When they weren't on away missions, Ronon had an extraordinary amount of free time. He had no paperwork, no one to command, no kith and kin on the mainland, and he certainly didn't have a lab to run. He could only spend so much time beating up the Marines under the guise of training, running through the empty parts of the city, or even eating and sleeping and fucking.
After the events on Sateda, Elizabeth had finally gotten a clearer picture of who Ronon had been before he'd been slipped a tracking device. She scoured the personnel records for anyone with ESL instruction in their CV, and came up with one Dr. Harve Beckwith; no surprise that he was a linguist. She'd been so proud of herself, killing two birds with one stone. Beckwith had been pleased to offer to trade with Ronon, a few hours of teaching him to read and write in English in exchange for the opportunity to study the Satedan's language, considered a dying--if not dead--language. Like so many others.
Ronon took to the deal like a duck to water. Beckwith gave him the skills to provide his own written mission reports (Important to Teyla, for she would no longer have to play Ronon’s typist), and introduced him to the admittedly small world of literature available in Atlantis. Ronon begged and borrowed books that had been brought to Atlantis, he didn’t care what genre or oeuvre-he would read anything.
Eventually, John lent him War and Peace, and they spent hours talking about it. Or rather, Ronon spent hours talking and John listened all agog, because he was still working his way through Chapter Three, and Ronon rarely said more than a line or two. It was all to the good; through Ronon, John finally figured out what the heck the book was about and that was fine, it would only make it easier to finish.
An aside: to be fair, it appeared that John was a man of leisure, but appearances can be deceiving. The first year, John’s plans of playing lab assistant had turned into a very steep learning curve, courtesy of a head shot; not to mention the struggle to stay alive. Then John really had a lot on his plate with the larger military contingent, courtesy of the Daedalus. There was a city to explore, missions to plan, a war to fight, and only so much of the required paperwork could be shoved Lorne’s way.
After War and Peace, Beckwith pulled out the King James, and it was all down hill from there. If anyone was looking for Ronon, they started in the linguistics lab instead of the gym, for he was there at any given point during the day, deep in theological discussions with Beckwith. Rodney jokingly ranted about Ronon the pod person, and how had he gotten past security?
Ronon began attending the small non-denominational services on what served as Sunday. He joined the tiny Bible study groups on what they called Wednesday nights (when he was in the city). Ronon never talked about his new found faith with his teammates, because John was amused, Teyla sour, and Rodney dismissive.
That is, Rodney was dismissive until Ronon broke up with him, because Ronon couldn’t rectify their homosexual relationship with The Word. It hadn’t been public knowledge, their relationship, because Ronon never said much to anyone (outside Bible study or book discussions), and Rodney was of the opinion that his personal life wasn’t anybody’s business but his own and whomever he was relating to. However, that changed when Rodney stormed into the linguistics lab and verbally shredded Beckwith to a pulp over stealing his boyfriend with mystical texts.
Beckwith was suitably horrified, denied stealing Rodney’s boyfriend-what would a straight-laced Pentecostal want with a boyfriend?--and in retaliation, ramped up his conversion of Ronon.
The volume at which Rodney had flayed Beckwith wasn’t conducive to maintaining secrecy, and so the revelation became the juiciest gossip to make the rounds in months; even more delicious than the discovery that Leher in biology had the most amazing collection of lingerie, and that he was willing to share.
The part that no one got, and no one talked about, is that Rodney had really thought that he and Ronon had connected, that it wasn’t just sex. He was in a Relationship with a capitol R (though the sex was *amazing*), and to be thrown over for a dead guy and a two thousand year old book was just the icing on the cake of his admittedly half-baked love life. He covered the hurt with fury, and for a while he was the only one in the lab-any one with an iota of self preservation suddenly discovered that there were other labs to work in, and exiled themselves forthwith, including the staunch Zelenka.
John consoled Rodney with flying lessons, Teyla took his aggression in the gym (though she was never in any danger of getting bruised), and Ronon thought that absence was the best part of valor.
Ronon’s baptism was an Event. Anything that could possibly turn into a party was immediately glomped upon with fervor, and this was no exception. There was cake and punch of the Pegasus varieties, and barbeque of the Daedalus type, and almost everyone gathered to watch.
The Ancients, for living on an Ocean, didn’t appear to have interacted with it in any personal way; there were no swimming pools or shallows at the edge of the pier. This necessitated that Beckwith and Ronon jump into the deeps, with a rope ladder thrown down over the edge to facilitate their egress after the deed was done.
Ronon had elected to wear regular BDU pants, as salt water was bitch to get out of leather, and his pants would have never been the same afterwards. He kneeled on the deck, accepted the One into his heart in a short but effective speech, then he and Beckwith jumped into the salty water.
The crowd leaned over the edge of the pier to watch. Ronon, floating on his back next Beckwith treading water, was then pushed under water and held down, while Beckwith recited the usual words.
This was apparently not a point of the proceedings that Beckwith had discussed with Ronon in advance, the significance of near drowning and the washing away of his many sins. Ronon just thought that Beckwith was trying to drown him.
There was a flurry of splashing water that went on for longer than John thought appropriate, so he executed a perfect stride jump into the water. He wrapped an arm around Ronon’s neck and shoulder from behind and pulled him a few feet away, hoping that Beckwith didn’t require more assistance, because Ronon was furious and struggling to get back at Beckwith.
Thankfully, Beckwith regained his natural buoyancy, and his head popped out of the water, gasping for air. He swore at Ronon in a most un-Christian fashion, and then swam for the ladder. Ronon swore back and thrashed about to escape John’s grasp, but that particular hold is really effective. It appeared that Ronon’s dalliance with Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost and The Father was over.
John held Ronon until Beckwith was out of sight, then gave Ronon a shake.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
John let go and they swam the few feet to the ladder and got out, dripping water every where. Beckwith was gone, though it would be incredibly easy to track him, the trail of water was obvious.
Rodney was right there, and he grabbed Ronon around the chest. “Knucklehead.”
“Yeah, sorry.” Ronon leaned down, the salt water flavoring their kiss.
There were people and cake and punch and barbeque, and any Event on Atlantis was worth celebrating, so Ronon’s confirmation party was immediately turned into Thank God, McKay Will Stop Being Such a Bitch Party.
Which wasn’t such a bad reason to have a party.
Author: dossier
Characters: Rodney McKay/Ronon Dex
Category: humor, hopefully.
Rating: PG for a few bad words
Warning: Religion, also I lack a beta reader.
Spoilers: Very very vague for The Return Part II and Sateda
Words: ~1400
Summary: In which Ronon finds religion, Rodney is pissed, John’s amused and Teyla is sour.
When Ronon converted to Christianity, Sheppard was amused and Teyla understood the need to believe in a higher power--she'd suffered through losing her faith in the Ancients--but she was uncharacteristically sour on the subject since their return to Atlantis.
Rodney, it didn't even blip his radar. He'd never said anything about Ronon's previous belief system, and swapping the Ancients for The Holy Trinity wasn't cause for comment, unless it was bitching about the hours spent with Beckwith, lately of the Daedalus. That is, until Ronon broke up with him, which *certainly* got his attention.
It started like this:
When they weren't on away missions, Ronon had an extraordinary amount of free time. He had no paperwork, no one to command, no kith and kin on the mainland, and he certainly didn't have a lab to run. He could only spend so much time beating up the Marines under the guise of training, running through the empty parts of the city, or even eating and sleeping and fucking.
After the events on Sateda, Elizabeth had finally gotten a clearer picture of who Ronon had been before he'd been slipped a tracking device. She scoured the personnel records for anyone with ESL instruction in their CV, and came up with one Dr. Harve Beckwith; no surprise that he was a linguist. She'd been so proud of herself, killing two birds with one stone. Beckwith had been pleased to offer to trade with Ronon, a few hours of teaching him to read and write in English in exchange for the opportunity to study the Satedan's language, considered a dying--if not dead--language. Like so many others.
Ronon took to the deal like a duck to water. Beckwith gave him the skills to provide his own written mission reports (Important to Teyla, for she would no longer have to play Ronon’s typist), and introduced him to the admittedly small world of literature available in Atlantis. Ronon begged and borrowed books that had been brought to Atlantis, he didn’t care what genre or oeuvre-he would read anything.
Eventually, John lent him War and Peace, and they spent hours talking about it. Or rather, Ronon spent hours talking and John listened all agog, because he was still working his way through Chapter Three, and Ronon rarely said more than a line or two. It was all to the good; through Ronon, John finally figured out what the heck the book was about and that was fine, it would only make it easier to finish.
An aside: to be fair, it appeared that John was a man of leisure, but appearances can be deceiving. The first year, John’s plans of playing lab assistant had turned into a very steep learning curve, courtesy of a head shot; not to mention the struggle to stay alive. Then John really had a lot on his plate with the larger military contingent, courtesy of the Daedalus. There was a city to explore, missions to plan, a war to fight, and only so much of the required paperwork could be shoved Lorne’s way.
After War and Peace, Beckwith pulled out the King James, and it was all down hill from there. If anyone was looking for Ronon, they started in the linguistics lab instead of the gym, for he was there at any given point during the day, deep in theological discussions with Beckwith. Rodney jokingly ranted about Ronon the pod person, and how had he gotten past security?
Ronon began attending the small non-denominational services on what served as Sunday. He joined the tiny Bible study groups on what they called Wednesday nights (when he was in the city). Ronon never talked about his new found faith with his teammates, because John was amused, Teyla sour, and Rodney dismissive.
That is, Rodney was dismissive until Ronon broke up with him, because Ronon couldn’t rectify their homosexual relationship with The Word. It hadn’t been public knowledge, their relationship, because Ronon never said much to anyone (outside Bible study or book discussions), and Rodney was of the opinion that his personal life wasn’t anybody’s business but his own and whomever he was relating to. However, that changed when Rodney stormed into the linguistics lab and verbally shredded Beckwith to a pulp over stealing his boyfriend with mystical texts.
Beckwith was suitably horrified, denied stealing Rodney’s boyfriend-what would a straight-laced Pentecostal want with a boyfriend?--and in retaliation, ramped up his conversion of Ronon.
The volume at which Rodney had flayed Beckwith wasn’t conducive to maintaining secrecy, and so the revelation became the juiciest gossip to make the rounds in months; even more delicious than the discovery that Leher in biology had the most amazing collection of lingerie, and that he was willing to share.
The part that no one got, and no one talked about, is that Rodney had really thought that he and Ronon had connected, that it wasn’t just sex. He was in a Relationship with a capitol R (though the sex was *amazing*), and to be thrown over for a dead guy and a two thousand year old book was just the icing on the cake of his admittedly half-baked love life. He covered the hurt with fury, and for a while he was the only one in the lab-any one with an iota of self preservation suddenly discovered that there were other labs to work in, and exiled themselves forthwith, including the staunch Zelenka.
John consoled Rodney with flying lessons, Teyla took his aggression in the gym (though she was never in any danger of getting bruised), and Ronon thought that absence was the best part of valor.
Ronon’s baptism was an Event. Anything that could possibly turn into a party was immediately glomped upon with fervor, and this was no exception. There was cake and punch of the Pegasus varieties, and barbeque of the Daedalus type, and almost everyone gathered to watch.
The Ancients, for living on an Ocean, didn’t appear to have interacted with it in any personal way; there were no swimming pools or shallows at the edge of the pier. This necessitated that Beckwith and Ronon jump into the deeps, with a rope ladder thrown down over the edge to facilitate their egress after the deed was done.
Ronon had elected to wear regular BDU pants, as salt water was bitch to get out of leather, and his pants would have never been the same afterwards. He kneeled on the deck, accepted the One into his heart in a short but effective speech, then he and Beckwith jumped into the salty water.
The crowd leaned over the edge of the pier to watch. Ronon, floating on his back next Beckwith treading water, was then pushed under water and held down, while Beckwith recited the usual words.
This was apparently not a point of the proceedings that Beckwith had discussed with Ronon in advance, the significance of near drowning and the washing away of his many sins. Ronon just thought that Beckwith was trying to drown him.
There was a flurry of splashing water that went on for longer than John thought appropriate, so he executed a perfect stride jump into the water. He wrapped an arm around Ronon’s neck and shoulder from behind and pulled him a few feet away, hoping that Beckwith didn’t require more assistance, because Ronon was furious and struggling to get back at Beckwith.
Thankfully, Beckwith regained his natural buoyancy, and his head popped out of the water, gasping for air. He swore at Ronon in a most un-Christian fashion, and then swam for the ladder. Ronon swore back and thrashed about to escape John’s grasp, but that particular hold is really effective. It appeared that Ronon’s dalliance with Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost and The Father was over.
John held Ronon until Beckwith was out of sight, then gave Ronon a shake.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
John let go and they swam the few feet to the ladder and got out, dripping water every where. Beckwith was gone, though it would be incredibly easy to track him, the trail of water was obvious.
Rodney was right there, and he grabbed Ronon around the chest. “Knucklehead.”
“Yeah, sorry.” Ronon leaned down, the salt water flavoring their kiss.
There were people and cake and punch and barbeque, and any Event on Atlantis was worth celebrating, so Ronon’s confirmation party was immediately turned into Thank God, McKay Will Stop Being Such a Bitch Party.
Which wasn’t such a bad reason to have a party.