The Power of Science Fiction, by Sophonisba [folklore challenge]
-title- The Power of Science Fiction (cut scene from " Miko to Kuma to Sennin")
-author- Sophonisba (saphanibaal)
-warnings- Gen.
-characters- Miko, Rodney, Kavanagh, Zelenka
-disclaimer- Characters from Stargate: Atlantis; plot gleefully and gloriously borrowed from P. G. Wodehouse's "The Clicking of Cuthbert."
-word count- 668
-summary- "For instance, in a case I know of, these Americans were running a secret research laboratory and getting a brilliant physicist to work there."
The Power Of Science Fiction
"...And I don't know whether they've translated Alexei Panshin into Japanese, but you can always teach yourself English, at least enough to read Rite of Passage. You'll want to know it anyway, it seems to have replaced Latin as the common language of scholars and scientists."
"Teach myself?"
"The little woman and I taught ourselves Japanese so we could read Edogawa Rampo, and English doesn't have nearly as many characters to memorize."
"My father does not approve of science fiction," Miko told him, greatly daring. "He says it wastes time and makes mockery of science."
"Yeah, my parents were idiots, too," the sensei shrugged.
Miko drew in a shocked breath.
"Even when the science is bad, it at least gets people interested -- and it can have great social advantages, too. For instance, in a case I know of, these Americans were running a secret research laboratory and getting a brilliant physicist to work there. So when he arrived, the director showed him his lab and introduced him to the celebrated American scientist who would be his assistant, and also with the director was a scientist from Czechia there to take notes."
"Where is Czechia?" Miko asked.
"In Europe... ah, at the moment it's the bit of Czechoslovakia that has Prague and Moravia and such in it. The point is, he was a little foreign guy and he spoke English well enough to take notes. So the celebrated American scientist met the eminent physicist, and said 'Physics, huh? I dabble a little myself; I found myself intrigued by the works of Einstein...'
"'Einstein? Hah!' said the eminent physicist. 'Albert Einstein rode the coat-tails of his one great discovery for years, and refused to accept the results of his experiments because it contradicted his preconceived ideas of the world. I don't think anything of Einstein.'
"'Well, actually, I've been more influenced by Hawking...' the American hastily backtracked.
"'Hawking? Pfui!'" Miko had never actually seen somebody make that sound before, and was very impressed. "'Hawking wouldn't know a wormhole if it went kawhoosh in his face. I have no respect for Hawking.'
"And the American kept on trying to make himself sound better by comparing himself to physicists who were wrong, dead wrong, this-might-possibly-make-sense-if-I-drained-half-the-blood-out-of-my-veins-and-replaced-it-with-turpentine wrong, and stoned out of their mind on something they cooked up over the bunsen burner out of fungus from an alien planet (and wrong), while the director's face grew more and more discouraged. Finally, the eminent physicist threw up his hands -- " the sensei threw up his hands -- "and explained, 'Look, it's very simple. The only truly brilliant physicist is ME. Einstein, Hawking, Schroedinger -- pff. Now, Sam Carter and Sam Beckett are not bad. Not brilliant, of course, but not bad either. But the only truly brilliant physicist is ME, and I can't believe you expect me to endanger my life by trusting to the calculations of these -- these -- hey, you in the corner there, what are you muttering about?'
"The Czech guy blinked at the physicist, cast a mute look at the beautiful director, and said 'If I had known I was to meet with Nadreck of Palain VII, I would have worn my pressure suit.'
"'Elizabeth!' the physicist yelped. 'Why have you hidden from me this splendid literate person who reads Doc Smith? Come along, you, what's-your-name -- '
"'Zelenka,' the Czech told him.
"'Zaplornky, and show me these mobile squid things I hear you found. How does the explosive in them stack up against Smith's duodec?'
"And so from that day forward, the American scientist was ignored, denigrated, laughed at, and treated as a last resort by the researchers, even his good ideas being triply and quadruply checked before being tentatively implemented; while Dr. Zelenka rose to be second-in-command of the researchers and master of the hidden trade in goodies. Such is the awesome power of classic science fiction."
Miko giggled.
-author- Sophonisba (saphanibaal)
-warnings- Gen.
-characters- Miko, Rodney, Kavanagh, Zelenka
-disclaimer- Characters from Stargate: Atlantis; plot gleefully and gloriously borrowed from P. G. Wodehouse's "The Clicking of Cuthbert."
-word count- 668
-summary- "For instance, in a case I know of, these Americans were running a secret research laboratory and getting a brilliant physicist to work there."
The Power Of Science Fiction
"...And I don't know whether they've translated Alexei Panshin into Japanese, but you can always teach yourself English, at least enough to read Rite of Passage. You'll want to know it anyway, it seems to have replaced Latin as the common language of scholars and scientists."
"Teach myself?"
"The little woman and I taught ourselves Japanese so we could read Edogawa Rampo, and English doesn't have nearly as many characters to memorize."
"My father does not approve of science fiction," Miko told him, greatly daring. "He says it wastes time and makes mockery of science."
"Yeah, my parents were idiots, too," the sensei shrugged.
Miko drew in a shocked breath.
"Even when the science is bad, it at least gets people interested -- and it can have great social advantages, too. For instance, in a case I know of, these Americans were running a secret research laboratory and getting a brilliant physicist to work there. So when he arrived, the director showed him his lab and introduced him to the celebrated American scientist who would be his assistant, and also with the director was a scientist from Czechia there to take notes."
"Where is Czechia?" Miko asked.
"In Europe... ah, at the moment it's the bit of Czechoslovakia that has Prague and Moravia and such in it. The point is, he was a little foreign guy and he spoke English well enough to take notes. So the celebrated American scientist met the eminent physicist, and said 'Physics, huh? I dabble a little myself; I found myself intrigued by the works of Einstein...'
"'Einstein? Hah!' said the eminent physicist. 'Albert Einstein rode the coat-tails of his one great discovery for years, and refused to accept the results of his experiments because it contradicted his preconceived ideas of the world. I don't think anything of Einstein.'
"'Well, actually, I've been more influenced by Hawking...' the American hastily backtracked.
"'Hawking? Pfui!'" Miko had never actually seen somebody make that sound before, and was very impressed. "'Hawking wouldn't know a wormhole if it went kawhoosh in his face. I have no respect for Hawking.'
"And the American kept on trying to make himself sound better by comparing himself to physicists who were wrong, dead wrong, this-might-possibly-make-sense-if-I-drained-half-the-blood-out-of-my-veins-and-replaced-it-with-turpentine wrong, and stoned out of their mind on something they cooked up over the bunsen burner out of fungus from an alien planet (and wrong), while the director's face grew more and more discouraged. Finally, the eminent physicist threw up his hands -- " the sensei threw up his hands -- "and explained, 'Look, it's very simple. The only truly brilliant physicist is ME. Einstein, Hawking, Schroedinger -- pff. Now, Sam Carter and Sam Beckett are not bad. Not brilliant, of course, but not bad either. But the only truly brilliant physicist is ME, and I can't believe you expect me to endanger my life by trusting to the calculations of these -- these -- hey, you in the corner there, what are you muttering about?'
"The Czech guy blinked at the physicist, cast a mute look at the beautiful director, and said 'If I had known I was to meet with Nadreck of Palain VII, I would have worn my pressure suit.'
"'Elizabeth!' the physicist yelped. 'Why have you hidden from me this splendid literate person who reads Doc Smith? Come along, you, what's-your-name -- '
"'Zelenka,' the Czech told him.
"'Zaplornky, and show me these mobile squid things I hear you found. How does the explosive in them stack up against Smith's duodec?'
"And so from that day forward, the American scientist was ignored, denigrated, laughed at, and treated as a last resort by the researchers, even his good ideas being triply and quadruply checked before being tentatively implemented; while Dr. Zelenka rose to be second-in-command of the researchers and master of the hidden trade in goodies. Such is the awesome power of classic science fiction."
Miko giggled.