Fic by lavvyan, Cake or Death challenge
Title: Monday to Friday, Saturday on Agreement
Author: lavvyan
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Crack. *g*
Summary: "I'll take Absurd Alien Lifeforms for 200, Alex," Rodney whispered to Sheppard.
AN: You should probably watch the clip which inspired this challenge first.
ETA: Download Monday to Friday, Saturday on Agreement as podfic!
~~~
"Um. What?"
"Cake or death?!" the Peekenburrs' headman demanded again with an imperious hand wave. The team looked at each other, then Sheppard cleared his throat.
"Uh, cake," he said, "for all of us."
The Peekenburr started murmuring quietly and a young woman ran forward to whisper something into the headman's ear. He pulled a face.
"I am informed that we only have three cakes," he said somewhat apologetically.
"What, so one of us has to choose death?" Rodney asked, not even waiting for an answer before he pointed to a nearby hut. "No, you know what? I'll take the chicken."
It was just another day in the Pegasus galaxy.
~~~
On P3P-979, the A'ahiina demanded they join the ritual of the Oohuliwalooka. Ronon looked vaguely sick and even Teyla paled, both muttering something about "always dropping it." Rodney shared an alarmed look with Sheppard as they were lead to an open plaza, where several half-naked, well-oiled man were holding what looked suspiciously like hula hoops.
Rodney raised his hands. "Okay, this is clearly a job for you, Lt. Col. Slinky."
Sheppard glared, but he grabbed the hoop he was offered and proceeded to hula the hell out of the thing. The A'ahiina declared him half-god and threw a feast in his honour. Sheppard had to promise to teach both Ronon and Teyla the art of the Oohuliwalooka, and Rodney nearly pulled something trying not to laugh.
~~~
On P9X-381, it was the Ancient version of Dance Dance Revolution or being glued and feathered.
"I… never… thought… I'd be… grateful to… Radek… for… making me play… that stupid… game," Rodney panted, and scored triple points as he managed to hit all six contact points at the same time with his patented cross-your-ankles-turn-around-and-hope-you-don't-fall-over move.
"Shut up and dance, Rodney," Sheppard said grimly, and swivelled into a pirouette.
The feathers itched like hell.
~~~
On M7B-3F9, Ronon spent six hours straight knife-juggling with the chieftain's son. The show ended when the young man screwed up and Ronon caught the last knife with his teeth.
They got one hell of a trading agreement out of that.
~~~
On P39-FB3, they had to play the Pegasus version of Jeopardy or survive a five-day march through the desert without supplies.
"This six-ruuved predator mainly lives on phretphret and shlox. Its dilingering are blue and it is said to eat its own eggs."
Teyla delicately hit the gong in front of her.
"What is a thraaxl," she said solemnly, and the crowd cheered.
"I'll take Absurd Alien Lifeforms for 200, Alex," Rodney whispered to Sheppard.
"Shut up."
~~~
On M9A-112, the Amorphophallustinanii had no idea why Rodney kept sniggering. He chose not to enlighten them, which was probably for the best.
~~~
On P08-39W, it was a sex ritual. Rodney was relieved about the break in routine - until he learned that the K'mastrans' idea of sex was basically sitting very, very still.
"Oh, pleasepleaseplease, just let me move," he pleaded, sweat running from his forehead down his nose and dripping on Sheppard's chest. He had spent the last three hours sitting snugly in Sheppard's lap and trying to breathe through the sensation of Sheppard's dick pressing against his prostate.
"Rodney, stop… clenching!" Sheppard gritted out, his face a mask of intense concentration.
"I'm trying! God, I swear, when this is over I'm going to spend the next two weeks in my lab; I don't care what other trading partners Teyla- oh, oh shit, John!"
They were treated to a nice long bath and a friendly clap on the shoulder, along with the suggestion to "train more regularly."
Rodney didn't like the glint in Sheppard's eyes at all.
~~~
"So, anything we should know, sir?"
"Nah." Sheppard amiably patted Lorne's back. "Gonna be a cakewalk."
Rodney joined him on the control room balcony, and together they watched Lorne's team gate out.
"Where are they going again?"
"Follow-up mission to M97-77G."
"The lunatics with the cake?"
"Yup."
Rodney nodded, secure in the knowledge that he had another nine days before his team's downtime was over. A shoulder bumping against his made him look at Sheppard.
"So. Wanna go train?"
It was just another day in the Pegasus galaxy.
~~~
Author: lavvyan
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Crack. *g*
Summary: "I'll take Absurd Alien Lifeforms for 200, Alex," Rodney whispered to Sheppard.
AN: You should probably watch the clip which inspired this challenge first.
ETA: Download Monday to Friday, Saturday on Agreement as podfic!
~~~
"Um. What?"
"Cake or death?!" the Peekenburrs' headman demanded again with an imperious hand wave. The team looked at each other, then Sheppard cleared his throat.
"Uh, cake," he said, "for all of us."
The Peekenburr started murmuring quietly and a young woman ran forward to whisper something into the headman's ear. He pulled a face.
"I am informed that we only have three cakes," he said somewhat apologetically.
"What, so one of us has to choose death?" Rodney asked, not even waiting for an answer before he pointed to a nearby hut. "No, you know what? I'll take the chicken."
It was just another day in the Pegasus galaxy.
~~~
On P3P-979, the A'ahiina demanded they join the ritual of the Oohuliwalooka. Ronon looked vaguely sick and even Teyla paled, both muttering something about "always dropping it." Rodney shared an alarmed look with Sheppard as they were lead to an open plaza, where several half-naked, well-oiled man were holding what looked suspiciously like hula hoops.
Rodney raised his hands. "Okay, this is clearly a job for you, Lt. Col. Slinky."
Sheppard glared, but he grabbed the hoop he was offered and proceeded to hula the hell out of the thing. The A'ahiina declared him half-god and threw a feast in his honour. Sheppard had to promise to teach both Ronon and Teyla the art of the Oohuliwalooka, and Rodney nearly pulled something trying not to laugh.
~~~
On P9X-381, it was the Ancient version of Dance Dance Revolution or being glued and feathered.
"I… never… thought… I'd be… grateful to… Radek… for… making me play… that stupid… game," Rodney panted, and scored triple points as he managed to hit all six contact points at the same time with his patented cross-your-ankles-turn-around-and-hope-you-don't-fall-over move.
"Shut up and dance, Rodney," Sheppard said grimly, and swivelled into a pirouette.
The feathers itched like hell.
~~~
On M7B-3F9, Ronon spent six hours straight knife-juggling with the chieftain's son. The show ended when the young man screwed up and Ronon caught the last knife with his teeth.
They got one hell of a trading agreement out of that.
~~~
On P39-FB3, they had to play the Pegasus version of Jeopardy or survive a five-day march through the desert without supplies.
"This six-ruuved predator mainly lives on phretphret and shlox. Its dilingering are blue and it is said to eat its own eggs."
Teyla delicately hit the gong in front of her.
"What is a thraaxl," she said solemnly, and the crowd cheered.
"I'll take Absurd Alien Lifeforms for 200, Alex," Rodney whispered to Sheppard.
"Shut up."
~~~
On M9A-112, the Amorphophallustinanii had no idea why Rodney kept sniggering. He chose not to enlighten them, which was probably for the best.
~~~
On P08-39W, it was a sex ritual. Rodney was relieved about the break in routine - until he learned that the K'mastrans' idea of sex was basically sitting very, very still.
"Oh, pleasepleaseplease, just let me move," he pleaded, sweat running from his forehead down his nose and dripping on Sheppard's chest. He had spent the last three hours sitting snugly in Sheppard's lap and trying to breathe through the sensation of Sheppard's dick pressing against his prostate.
"Rodney, stop… clenching!" Sheppard gritted out, his face a mask of intense concentration.
"I'm trying! God, I swear, when this is over I'm going to spend the next two weeks in my lab; I don't care what other trading partners Teyla- oh, oh shit, John!"
They were treated to a nice long bath and a friendly clap on the shoulder, along with the suggestion to "train more regularly."
Rodney didn't like the glint in Sheppard's eyes at all.
~~~
"So, anything we should know, sir?"
"Nah." Sheppard amiably patted Lorne's back. "Gonna be a cakewalk."
Rodney joined him on the control room balcony, and together they watched Lorne's team gate out.
"Where are they going again?"
"Follow-up mission to M97-77G."
"The lunatics with the cake?"
"Yup."
Rodney nodded, secure in the knowledge that he had another nine days before his team's downtime was over. A shoulder bumping against his made him look at Sheppard.
"So. Wanna go train?"
It was just another day in the Pegasus galaxy.
~~~