TITLE: A Crime They Didn't Commit
RATING: PG, gen
SUMMARY: A crime they didn't commit, in five parts.
1. There's a group of people from Earth waiting for them when they get back from M7D-343, but not in the good way, the hey! have some Oreos! way, but in the John Sheppard, please surrender your weapons kind of way.
Time seems to slow weirdly and snap back into place, and John gestures for the rest of his team to play along. He unhooks his P-90 without breaking his glare at the colonel, because it's not like he couldn't use a nap; overthrowing a government is hard work.
"It was authorized," he tells Colonel Parker, after they've been thrown in a holding cell awaiting transfer to Earth and the kind of trial that doesn't get covered by CNN.
"By Doctor Weir?" the colonel says, and his face tells John everything he needs to know about who isn't in charge of Atlantis anymore.
2. Colonel Parker leans back in his chair and thunks his boots onto the desk, and Lorne tries very hard not to hate him. He's still reeling from the events of the past few hours, so it's understandable that he's kind of zoning out when he hears Parker say, " . . . holding them in Cell D."
Lorne blinks. "D, sir?"
"Problem with that, Major?"
Lorne himself does not have a problem, no sir. "It's just that that cell doesn't have a physical barrier, just the Ancient forcefield, and Atlantis likes Sheppard maybe a little too much."
Parker gives him a sharp look. "You saying I need to increase the guard?"
"No, sir," Lorne says without a hint of a smirk on his face. "I'm saying they've escaped already."
3. "You know, we really need to make it a little less easy to steal puddlejumpers," Rodney says as the wormhole engages and the jumper zips through.
John glares at him.
4. "Oh, Laina, don't cry!" says the brunette, and embraces the slim-yet-well-endowed blonde girl.
"But my father is being terrorized by evil men!" Laina says. "Soon he'll be forced to sell his coffee plantation and we'll be--" She breaks into tears.
The brunette pats her on the shoulder. "Laina, there may be one last hope. I have heard of a group that may be able to help." She clutches one hand to her chest. "If we can find them, maybe we can hire--"
5. "Rodney, we are not the A-Team."
Rodney throws up his hands. "How are we not the A-Team? Sent to prison for a crime we didn't commit. Promptly escaped." He flings a hand toward the back of the puddlejumper. "The pretty one," he says. "The gruff one."
John sees Ronon raise an eyebrow at that; luckily Teyla's asleep because John's not sure she'd be happy to be "the pretty one".
"The crazy pilot," Rodney says, pointing at John. "And--" he points to himself--"the one who can make a surface-to-air missile out of old refrigerator parts."
John carefully pilots them around in a low circle to head back toward the gate. They just need a little while to regroup, that's all. Then they'll get back in contact with a few trusted people on Atlantis, see what needs to be done.
"All right," he says. "But I'm Hannibal. You're the one we have to go break out of the psych ward every episode."