Mild Incovenience by Slybrarian
Title: Mild Inconvenience by Slybrarian (Frelling Freezing)
Author: slybrarian
Rating: R
Pairing: Lorne/Sheppard, Sheppard/McKay/Lorne, various others mentioned
Word Count: 1369
Series: Dramatic Exit
Summary: Chuck and the Random Female Tech fixed the ventilation system, for certain values of fixed.
Author's notes: Minor spoilers for "Lockdown."
Five months after the accidental lockdown, the people of Atlantis discovered that there were still a few lingering effects buried inside the computer system. Not coincidentally, they also discovered that, in addition to memory-wiping diseases, their new planet had extraordinarily vicious winter storms at the particular spot in the ocean they'd landed. The skies darkened one morning, and by noon there was an inch of ice coating every exposed surface of the city. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem at all. Atlantis was a spaceship, after all, and since the storm wasn't strong enough to be structurally dangerous there was no need to waste power on the shield. Everything should have been perfectly fine, if a bit slippery outside. Unfortunately, thanks to some long-forgotten efforts to reactivate the ventilation system, the city neglected to actually turn on the heat and soon the temperature inside was six degrees. On the one hand, that was about fifty degrees warmer than outside. On the other hand, McKay and Zelenka had determined that the system would automatically reset climate control around six in the morning, and that meant things would get pretty cold overnight. On the gripping hand, that suited Evan Lorne just fine, because no heat meant buddying up to share body warmth.
Most of the city's population seemed to be taking it as a god-given, command-sanctioned, completely deniable opportunity to pair off. There were, of course, some poor souls who were unattached, such as Evan and John Sheppard, who simply had to make do with the more platonic kind of bed sharing. The marines had invited them to the giant marine puppy-pile going on in the mess hall - apparently this was the sort of thing marines did for fun - but they'd begged off, saying that their sensitive Air Force backs couldn't put up with lying on the hard floor. Instead they'd slunk off to Evan's quarters - his bed was roughly four times the size of the absurd thing John slept on - and slipped under the thick pile of blankets for some completely innocent sleeping together, just like any other pair of friendly officers would do in this kind of situation.
Well, maybe not exactly. Most executive officers wouldn't be slipping a hand into their commander's boxers, for example, but then Evan had always prided himself on providing an extra level of care and comfort for his superiors. He snuggled up against John's side and nipped at his ear, growling, "So, we've got an entire night for once. Got any ideas of how to spend the time?"
"I can think of a few," John replied with a smirk.
Then the door slid open and someone barged in. Evan instinctively rolled away from John and glared in the direction of the entrance. It only took him a second to put together the hand-waving, the complete lack of manners, and the glow-in-the-dark orange fleece and come up with, "Jesus fucking Christ, what is it, McKay?"
"What does it look like, Major?" McKay replied. The lights came on, forcing Evan to cover his eyes. "I'm sleeping here tonight."
"No!" Evan shouted, at the same time John sighed and lifts his head from the pillow to groan, "Rodney...."
"There's no where else for me to go," McKay said, already sitting down on the couch and starting to pull his boots off. "I need my sleep, and I'm not risking frostbite. End of discussion."
Evan took a deep breath and released it, already deciding to let John handle the matter, because he didn't trust himself not to bite McKay's head off. That would only cause even more yelling, and then he'd never get any sleep. Either than, or he'd pull his sidearm from the bedstand and end the problem. He could probably blame it on another alien possession.
"Look, Rodney, there has to be someone else you could find space with," John said with his most easy-going voice.
"Why should I go somewhere else, if I've got a perfectly suitable friend and teammate right here?" McKay asked, not even looking up while tossing one boot aside and starting on the other.
"Teammate, exactly! Ronon's like a furnace, you'd be a lot warmer with him than me."
"Ronon's with Keller," McKay shook his head, "and I'm sure your goon there will make up for the fact that you're all bony and cold."
John looked non-plussed at that statement. "How about Teyla? She wouldn't mind."
"Teyla is in the nice, heated infirmary, along with Simpson, Cadman, and who knows who else," McKay said. Zip went the fleece, and then it landed on Evan's nice, clean floor. "Miko stopped me at the door, said they're having some sort of, of shower thing and I'm not allowed it. And seriously, when did she learn to say no? It's a very disturbing development."
"Botany's heated, too," John suggested, although he clearly regretted saying that a moment later. Even Evan had to wince at the momentary distress that flashed across McKay's face.
Quietly, he told John, "McKay's not allowed in botany anymore."
"Oh. Sorry." John pursed his lips, and he twitched slightly as McKay dropped his pants. Then McKay bent over to pick them up, John's eyes got a little glazed as he stared at McKay's ass, and Evan was forced to elbow him in the side to get him to continue. "Maybe Chuck, for some Canadian...solidarity..." John trailed off, and Evan was mildly surprised McKay's death glare didn't cause John's head to explode. The suggestion wouldn't have worked anyways, because Evan knew that David was with Chuck, probably having a lot more fun than he was.
"How about Radek?" Evan suggested.
"Zelenka was last seen entering Colonel Carter's quarters," McKay said in a soft voice, utterly different than his normal one. He looked incredibly plaintive standing their shivering in his fruity boxers and 'I'm with Genius' t-shirt. After a moment, he started to gather up his clothes. "Sorry. I'm clearly not wanted, so I'll just find somewhere else to sleep. Maybe a jumper, they've got life support still."
Evan could feel John practically quivering beside him, and he knew that if he looked to the side John would be giving him big puppy-dog eyes. He sighed, and said, "Fine, climb in."
McKay didn't even thank him as he all but jumped into the bed, thankfully on John's side. There was a painful wave of cold air under the covers, followed by the inevitable freezing-cold feet, and then a considerable amount of shoving and blanket-tugging as the three of them tried to get settled in. Evan's bed was big, but with three it was a bit of a squeeze. Evan didn't mind being snugly pressed against John's back (not to mention more interesting areas further down), but knowing that the only thing between him and McKay was John was a bit... well, honestly he wasn't sure what he was feeling. He settled on just being happy to spend the night holding John, which wasn't something he got to do except on the rare occasions they were on Earth at the same time.
Someone thought the lights off, and Evan started to drift off to sleep. He was rudely interrupted about ten minutes later when McKay hissed, "That had better be your sidearm, Sheppard."
"Sorry, sorry."
Evan squeezed his eyes shut and thought happy thoughts. He was finally starting to doze off again when McKay squeaked, "Okay, who's hand is that?" It took a moment for Evan to realize that he had unconsciously started to continue what he and John had started roughly an eon ago, only he'd reached a little too far this time. He didn't bother apologizing, because that would require acknowledging that he was wrong to try to grope his boyfriend, and that wasn't on at all.
He tried to get to sleep, again, only John started to rub back against him, with the usual results. Evan nudged John in the side and mumbled, "Not now, John."
That drew an exasperated sigh, and then John said, "Look, is there any particular reason we're not having really hot sex right now? Because I was promised hot sex for putting up with the entire freezing cold thing."
"Huh," McKay said, with that thoughtful tone that indicated he was having a brilliant idea.
After a moment's consideration, Evan shrugged. "You know, that's a good question."
Author: slybrarian
Rating: R
Pairing: Lorne/Sheppard, Sheppard/McKay/Lorne, various others mentioned
Word Count: 1369
Series: Dramatic Exit
Summary: Chuck and the Random Female Tech fixed the ventilation system, for certain values of fixed.
Author's notes: Minor spoilers for "Lockdown."
Five months after the accidental lockdown, the people of Atlantis discovered that there were still a few lingering effects buried inside the computer system. Not coincidentally, they also discovered that, in addition to memory-wiping diseases, their new planet had extraordinarily vicious winter storms at the particular spot in the ocean they'd landed. The skies darkened one morning, and by noon there was an inch of ice coating every exposed surface of the city. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem at all. Atlantis was a spaceship, after all, and since the storm wasn't strong enough to be structurally dangerous there was no need to waste power on the shield. Everything should have been perfectly fine, if a bit slippery outside. Unfortunately, thanks to some long-forgotten efforts to reactivate the ventilation system, the city neglected to actually turn on the heat and soon the temperature inside was six degrees. On the one hand, that was about fifty degrees warmer than outside. On the other hand, McKay and Zelenka had determined that the system would automatically reset climate control around six in the morning, and that meant things would get pretty cold overnight. On the gripping hand, that suited Evan Lorne just fine, because no heat meant buddying up to share body warmth.
Most of the city's population seemed to be taking it as a god-given, command-sanctioned, completely deniable opportunity to pair off. There were, of course, some poor souls who were unattached, such as Evan and John Sheppard, who simply had to make do with the more platonic kind of bed sharing. The marines had invited them to the giant marine puppy-pile going on in the mess hall - apparently this was the sort of thing marines did for fun - but they'd begged off, saying that their sensitive Air Force backs couldn't put up with lying on the hard floor. Instead they'd slunk off to Evan's quarters - his bed was roughly four times the size of the absurd thing John slept on - and slipped under the thick pile of blankets for some completely innocent sleeping together, just like any other pair of friendly officers would do in this kind of situation.
Well, maybe not exactly. Most executive officers wouldn't be slipping a hand into their commander's boxers, for example, but then Evan had always prided himself on providing an extra level of care and comfort for his superiors. He snuggled up against John's side and nipped at his ear, growling, "So, we've got an entire night for once. Got any ideas of how to spend the time?"
"I can think of a few," John replied with a smirk.
Then the door slid open and someone barged in. Evan instinctively rolled away from John and glared in the direction of the entrance. It only took him a second to put together the hand-waving, the complete lack of manners, and the glow-in-the-dark orange fleece and come up with, "Jesus fucking Christ, what is it, McKay?"
"What does it look like, Major?" McKay replied. The lights came on, forcing Evan to cover his eyes. "I'm sleeping here tonight."
"No!" Evan shouted, at the same time John sighed and lifts his head from the pillow to groan, "Rodney...."
"There's no where else for me to go," McKay said, already sitting down on the couch and starting to pull his boots off. "I need my sleep, and I'm not risking frostbite. End of discussion."
Evan took a deep breath and released it, already deciding to let John handle the matter, because he didn't trust himself not to bite McKay's head off. That would only cause even more yelling, and then he'd never get any sleep. Either than, or he'd pull his sidearm from the bedstand and end the problem. He could probably blame it on another alien possession.
"Look, Rodney, there has to be someone else you could find space with," John said with his most easy-going voice.
"Why should I go somewhere else, if I've got a perfectly suitable friend and teammate right here?" McKay asked, not even looking up while tossing one boot aside and starting on the other.
"Teammate, exactly! Ronon's like a furnace, you'd be a lot warmer with him than me."
"Ronon's with Keller," McKay shook his head, "and I'm sure your goon there will make up for the fact that you're all bony and cold."
John looked non-plussed at that statement. "How about Teyla? She wouldn't mind."
"Teyla is in the nice, heated infirmary, along with Simpson, Cadman, and who knows who else," McKay said. Zip went the fleece, and then it landed on Evan's nice, clean floor. "Miko stopped me at the door, said they're having some sort of, of shower thing and I'm not allowed it. And seriously, when did she learn to say no? It's a very disturbing development."
"Botany's heated, too," John suggested, although he clearly regretted saying that a moment later. Even Evan had to wince at the momentary distress that flashed across McKay's face.
Quietly, he told John, "McKay's not allowed in botany anymore."
"Oh. Sorry." John pursed his lips, and he twitched slightly as McKay dropped his pants. Then McKay bent over to pick them up, John's eyes got a little glazed as he stared at McKay's ass, and Evan was forced to elbow him in the side to get him to continue. "Maybe Chuck, for some Canadian...solidarity..." John trailed off, and Evan was mildly surprised McKay's death glare didn't cause John's head to explode. The suggestion wouldn't have worked anyways, because Evan knew that David was with Chuck, probably having a lot more fun than he was.
"How about Radek?" Evan suggested.
"Zelenka was last seen entering Colonel Carter's quarters," McKay said in a soft voice, utterly different than his normal one. He looked incredibly plaintive standing their shivering in his fruity boxers and 'I'm with Genius' t-shirt. After a moment, he started to gather up his clothes. "Sorry. I'm clearly not wanted, so I'll just find somewhere else to sleep. Maybe a jumper, they've got life support still."
Evan could feel John practically quivering beside him, and he knew that if he looked to the side John would be giving him big puppy-dog eyes. He sighed, and said, "Fine, climb in."
McKay didn't even thank him as he all but jumped into the bed, thankfully on John's side. There was a painful wave of cold air under the covers, followed by the inevitable freezing-cold feet, and then a considerable amount of shoving and blanket-tugging as the three of them tried to get settled in. Evan's bed was big, but with three it was a bit of a squeeze. Evan didn't mind being snugly pressed against John's back (not to mention more interesting areas further down), but knowing that the only thing between him and McKay was John was a bit... well, honestly he wasn't sure what he was feeling. He settled on just being happy to spend the night holding John, which wasn't something he got to do except on the rare occasions they were on Earth at the same time.
Someone thought the lights off, and Evan started to drift off to sleep. He was rudely interrupted about ten minutes later when McKay hissed, "That had better be your sidearm, Sheppard."
"Sorry, sorry."
Evan squeezed his eyes shut and thought happy thoughts. He was finally starting to doze off again when McKay squeaked, "Okay, who's hand is that?" It took a moment for Evan to realize that he had unconsciously started to continue what he and John had started roughly an eon ago, only he'd reached a little too far this time. He didn't bother apologizing, because that would require acknowledging that he was wrong to try to grope his boyfriend, and that wasn't on at all.
He tried to get to sleep, again, only John started to rub back against him, with the usual results. Evan nudged John in the side and mumbled, "Not now, John."
That drew an exasperated sigh, and then John said, "Look, is there any particular reason we're not having really hot sex right now? Because I was promised hot sex for putting up with the entire freezing cold thing."
"Huh," McKay said, with that thoughtful tone that indicated he was having a brilliant idea.
After a moment's consideration, Evan shrugged. "You know, that's a good question."