Sequiviews, by Sophonisba [second verse challenge]
-title- Sequiviews
-author- Sophonisba (saphanibaal)
-warnings- Crack. Implied crossoverness. Metafictuality. Did I mention crack?
-timeframe- Fourth season sometime.
-spoilers- Beginning of the fourth season, I suppose; "The Tao of Rodney"; El-Hazard OAV episode 5, if anyone particularly cares about that.
-characters- Carter, AR-1, Radek Zelenka, Cadman, Miko, Simpson, Corrigan
-disclaimer- SGA, of course, is not mine. Nor are any of the other shows very very obviously referenced herein. (If anyone makes the one music video, though, let me see it?)
-word count- 1406
-summary- "It's an interreality VCD exchange," Dr. Corrigan began.
Sequiviews
It is generally acknowledged by most supervisors that "It's going fine, bye," especially when laughter can be heard in the background, is a less than appropriate response to a question of "what are you learning from our new research material?"
For that reason, Sam Carter was personally checking on the team of scientists who were looking through their new stash of quantum parallel CDs. (Granted, given that they apparently were from some Atlantis-occupying group possessing CD technology, the chance was high that they were some equivalent scientist's collection of backups, but still.)
Bursts of laughter could be heard down the hall from a door that had managed, surprisingly, to make itself and the wall around it nearly black.
As she opened the door, a portentuous voice said in stereo from the ceiling, "and Meiko Kaji as Kaori Makimura. Sylvester Stallone is... City Hunter."
"Close the door!" Rodney shouted.
She obliged before asking, "Weren't you going to try to determine what this is for? And Rodney, I know you're not actually a member of Anthro and Linguistics, not matter how much you love antique grammars."
He spluttered satisfyingly, but not before Dr. Corrigan had said, "Oh, we figured that out."
"Well?" She could not, yet, infuse the word with the patience, endurance, and irascibility that she remembered her own mother using, but even a poor imitation was enough to recall duty.
"It's an interreality VCD exchange," Dr. Corrigan began. "You prepare a trailer disc for -- "
"Excuse me?" Sam said.
"It uses quantum mirror technology," Rodney began, "but while entropic cascade failure affects living organisms -- "
" -- only the more shoddily made CDs are hurt by it," Radek went on, "so as long as the delivery process is mechanical -- "
" -- you can switch CDs between realities, pass notes, maybe get help on a problem -- "
" -- but you have no way of knowing whether they'll answer in a timely manner or how trustworthy any of their solutions might be," Sam caught the idea, "so you start with something relatively harmless like entertainment and see what happens."
"Pretty much, yeah," Rodney agreed.
"We have set this up as, essentially, a dumb VCD player separate from the network," Radek went on.
"And so," Corrigan went on quickly, "people who are willing to trade make up a trailer disc of things they're prepared to burn for trade."
"Also some music videos," Sheppard added from somewhere near the front of the crowd of people sitting on the floor and looking at a projector screen that was currently displaying many rectangular colored icons.
"So we asked them to set it up so that we could see what there was, and everyone else just... came."
"It is most enjoyable," Teyla said from near the front. "Come and join us."
Sam shrugged and made her way around people, only spurning somebody with her foot once, and after a quick glance at the screen-lit Sheppard sat on Teyla's other side. "Has there been anything good so far?"
"The one you walked in during looked pretty good," Sheppard said. "I'd watch it."
"Well, there was the trailer for what looked like the recent live-action Transformers movie," Mary Simpson said, "except it was set on Sateda and was in black and white."
"Movies are supposed to be in black and white," Ronon said from somewhere near the back.
"And there was the Crying Freeman music video to 'Please Go All The Way," Rodney put in. "That was hysterical."
"I'm not familiar with Crying Freeman," Sam said.
"You kind of had to know it to get it, ma'am," Sheppard told her. "Also there were a lot of really sucky trailers."
"What else is there?" Teyla wondered.
"What's that, down in the lower right-hand corner, that says 'wxt_movie'?" Dr. Nelson asked.
Rodney selected it.
A title crawl began.
Mortally wounded on a desolate planet, Dr. Levant rediscovered the secret of ascending bodily to a higher plane, using it to save himself from a lingering death.
His team wants him back.
"They passed this?" Sam squawked. "It wasn't shot down first thing?"
On the screen, Major Monroe explained that it would, of course, be impossible for normal humans or robots to shift into a different plane without a dimensional phase modulator, "such as... THIS."
"Oh, yes, we build these in our storage closets for fun, all the time," Radek snorted.
"You couldn't have, oh, given us one?" Cadman demanded of the screen or possibly the scientists.
"We've got one," Sheppard grumbled. "It's called Incredibly Stupid Device McKay Is No Longer To Be In The Same Room With, Ever, and the last thing we need around here is another one."
Onscreen. the three remaining members of Team X-treme were conferring with David Carradine and --
"Is that Jeanie?" Rodney demanded.
"I think that's Kate Hewlett," someone in the back said. "The first time I saw your sister, I thought "Wow, she looks kind of like Kate Hewlett."
"Into a world," the trailer promised, "beyond your fantasies."
"I guess 'beyond your imagination' was taken," Dr. Corrigan said.
The camera panned up and to a fantastic city of glass and white ceramics. On some sort of high flat surface, Dr. Levant slowly picked his clean self up.
"We have dwelt here in peace for thousands of years," a beautiful woman with long black hair was saying in the next cut, "welcoming our new friends, but some among them did not give up all of their resentment and envy. The hordes press in on every side, and soon we will be unable to keep them all out. My name is Duare."
"IT'S AN ERB HOMAGE!" half the room shouted, noting details of room, costuming, and personal airships.
Several large action sequence clips later, the trailer finished "The Planar War begins June 23rd!" and Duare's voice said, oddly echoing, "Nothing that has been loved can ever be entirely separated from immortality."
"Well!" Teyla said when it was done.
"Somebody watch it and tell me if it's any good," Sam decided.
"Hm," Rodney said a little later. "Seen this, seen this, I can't imagine any way they could make this and have it not suck... what's this?"
"I think it says 'Magnificent World El Hazard,'" Sam said dubiously, peering at the Japanese writing on the screen.
"So it seems to me, too," Miko Kusanagi offered.
Rodney put it on.
There were four people, transported to a strange and alternate world and given special powers.
A world fighting against giant bugs.
A world plagued by blue-skinned weavers of illusions.
A machine that looked like a human.
A boy, Makoto Mizuhara, who put his hand down on a device and felt it awaken beneath his hand --
"He's supposed to have the Ancient gene, isn't he?" Dr. Simpson said.
"Maybe he just got the power to activate Ancient technology without the gene," Dr. Mueller offered.
"Isn't that what the gene therapy is for?" Dr. Brown asked.
"But I think that they had imperfectly separated the Wraith into human-tainted iratus and iratus-tainted human," Radek was arguing, "and found themselves fighting on two fronts -- "
"Yes, but Jinnai was sitting on one of those giant bugs, why none of them ate him -- "
"Well, he could talk to them, maybe if we could talk to the iratus bugs they wouldn't want to bite us either -- "
"But I want to know why they're disguising M'Kotoh in the first place -- "
"The name is pronounced Makoto," Miko said, her usual carefully cultivated high professional voice starting to become shrill. "I have a cousin named Makoto. I have a cousin named Mizuhara Makoto -- "
"Does he have the Ancient gene?" Rodney asked sensibly.
"I do not know," Miko said blankly. "Perhaps we should check."
"Well," Sheppard said. "Something else. Hey, there's something here called 'stargate_trailer'."
"Probably a training video," Rodney scoffed.
"Or an educational one," Radek offered, leaning over and selecting it.
The trailer managed what none of its fellows had: reduced the room to utter, dead silence.
"Sam?" Teyla asked at last.
"I, um, I didn't meet Daniel until later, so I can't say for sure, but he seems to be doing a reasonable impression of the way Daniel was at the beginning -- "
She could hear soft noises of agreement behind her.
"-- and whoever they got for Skaara really looks like him, props to the casting department for that -- "
More noises.
"--but trying to picture Kurt Russell as Jack just breaks my brain."
-author- Sophonisba (saphanibaal)
-warnings- Crack. Implied crossoverness. Metafictuality. Did I mention crack?
-timeframe- Fourth season sometime.
-spoilers- Beginning of the fourth season, I suppose; "The Tao of Rodney"; El-Hazard OAV episode 5, if anyone particularly cares about that.
-characters- Carter, AR-1, Radek Zelenka, Cadman, Miko, Simpson, Corrigan
-disclaimer- SGA, of course, is not mine. Nor are any of the other shows very very obviously referenced herein. (If anyone makes the one music video, though, let me see it?)
-word count- 1406
-summary- "It's an interreality VCD exchange," Dr. Corrigan began.
Sequiviews
It is generally acknowledged by most supervisors that "It's going fine, bye," especially when laughter can be heard in the background, is a less than appropriate response to a question of "what are you learning from our new research material?"
For that reason, Sam Carter was personally checking on the team of scientists who were looking through their new stash of quantum parallel CDs. (Granted, given that they apparently were from some Atlantis-occupying group possessing CD technology, the chance was high that they were some equivalent scientist's collection of backups, but still.)
Bursts of laughter could be heard down the hall from a door that had managed, surprisingly, to make itself and the wall around it nearly black.
As she opened the door, a portentuous voice said in stereo from the ceiling, "and Meiko Kaji as Kaori Makimura. Sylvester Stallone is... City Hunter."
"Close the door!" Rodney shouted.
She obliged before asking, "Weren't you going to try to determine what this is for? And Rodney, I know you're not actually a member of Anthro and Linguistics, not matter how much you love antique grammars."
He spluttered satisfyingly, but not before Dr. Corrigan had said, "Oh, we figured that out."
"Well?" She could not, yet, infuse the word with the patience, endurance, and irascibility that she remembered her own mother using, but even a poor imitation was enough to recall duty.
"It's an interreality VCD exchange," Dr. Corrigan began. "You prepare a trailer disc for -- "
"Excuse me?" Sam said.
"It uses quantum mirror technology," Rodney began, "but while entropic cascade failure affects living organisms -- "
" -- only the more shoddily made CDs are hurt by it," Radek went on, "so as long as the delivery process is mechanical -- "
" -- you can switch CDs between realities, pass notes, maybe get help on a problem -- "
" -- but you have no way of knowing whether they'll answer in a timely manner or how trustworthy any of their solutions might be," Sam caught the idea, "so you start with something relatively harmless like entertainment and see what happens."
"Pretty much, yeah," Rodney agreed.
"We have set this up as, essentially, a dumb VCD player separate from the network," Radek went on.
"And so," Corrigan went on quickly, "people who are willing to trade make up a trailer disc of things they're prepared to burn for trade."
"Also some music videos," Sheppard added from somewhere near the front of the crowd of people sitting on the floor and looking at a projector screen that was currently displaying many rectangular colored icons.
"So we asked them to set it up so that we could see what there was, and everyone else just... came."
"It is most enjoyable," Teyla said from near the front. "Come and join us."
Sam shrugged and made her way around people, only spurning somebody with her foot once, and after a quick glance at the screen-lit Sheppard sat on Teyla's other side. "Has there been anything good so far?"
"The one you walked in during looked pretty good," Sheppard said. "I'd watch it."
"Well, there was the trailer for what looked like the recent live-action Transformers movie," Mary Simpson said, "except it was set on Sateda and was in black and white."
"Movies are supposed to be in black and white," Ronon said from somewhere near the back.
"And there was the Crying Freeman music video to 'Please Go All The Way," Rodney put in. "That was hysterical."
"I'm not familiar with Crying Freeman," Sam said.
"You kind of had to know it to get it, ma'am," Sheppard told her. "Also there were a lot of really sucky trailers."
"What else is there?" Teyla wondered.
"What's that, down in the lower right-hand corner, that says 'wxt_movie'?" Dr. Nelson asked.
Rodney selected it.
A title crawl began.
Mortally wounded on a desolate planet, Dr. Levant rediscovered the secret of ascending bodily to a higher plane, using it to save himself from a lingering death.
His team wants him back.
"They passed this?" Sam squawked. "It wasn't shot down first thing?"
On the screen, Major Monroe explained that it would, of course, be impossible for normal humans or robots to shift into a different plane without a dimensional phase modulator, "such as... THIS."
"Oh, yes, we build these in our storage closets for fun, all the time," Radek snorted.
"You couldn't have, oh, given us one?" Cadman demanded of the screen or possibly the scientists.
"We've got one," Sheppard grumbled. "It's called Incredibly Stupid Device McKay Is No Longer To Be In The Same Room With, Ever, and the last thing we need around here is another one."
Onscreen. the three remaining members of Team X-treme were conferring with David Carradine and --
"Is that Jeanie?" Rodney demanded.
"I think that's Kate Hewlett," someone in the back said. "The first time I saw your sister, I thought "Wow, she looks kind of like Kate Hewlett."
"Into a world," the trailer promised, "beyond your fantasies."
"I guess 'beyond your imagination' was taken," Dr. Corrigan said.
The camera panned up and to a fantastic city of glass and white ceramics. On some sort of high flat surface, Dr. Levant slowly picked his clean self up.
"We have dwelt here in peace for thousands of years," a beautiful woman with long black hair was saying in the next cut, "welcoming our new friends, but some among them did not give up all of their resentment and envy. The hordes press in on every side, and soon we will be unable to keep them all out. My name is Duare."
"IT'S AN ERB HOMAGE!" half the room shouted, noting details of room, costuming, and personal airships.
Several large action sequence clips later, the trailer finished "The Planar War begins June 23rd!" and Duare's voice said, oddly echoing, "Nothing that has been loved can ever be entirely separated from immortality."
"Well!" Teyla said when it was done.
"Somebody watch it and tell me if it's any good," Sam decided.
"Hm," Rodney said a little later. "Seen this, seen this, I can't imagine any way they could make this and have it not suck... what's this?"
"I think it says 'Magnificent World El Hazard,'" Sam said dubiously, peering at the Japanese writing on the screen.
"So it seems to me, too," Miko Kusanagi offered.
Rodney put it on.
There were four people, transported to a strange and alternate world and given special powers.
A world fighting against giant bugs.
A world plagued by blue-skinned weavers of illusions.
A machine that looked like a human.
A boy, Makoto Mizuhara, who put his hand down on a device and felt it awaken beneath his hand --
"He's supposed to have the Ancient gene, isn't he?" Dr. Simpson said.
"Maybe he just got the power to activate Ancient technology without the gene," Dr. Mueller offered.
"Isn't that what the gene therapy is for?" Dr. Brown asked.
"But I think that they had imperfectly separated the Wraith into human-tainted iratus and iratus-tainted human," Radek was arguing, "and found themselves fighting on two fronts -- "
"Yes, but Jinnai was sitting on one of those giant bugs, why none of them ate him -- "
"Well, he could talk to them, maybe if we could talk to the iratus bugs they wouldn't want to bite us either -- "
"But I want to know why they're disguising M'Kotoh in the first place -- "
"The name is pronounced Makoto," Miko said, her usual carefully cultivated high professional voice starting to become shrill. "I have a cousin named Makoto. I have a cousin named Mizuhara Makoto -- "
"Does he have the Ancient gene?" Rodney asked sensibly.
"I do not know," Miko said blankly. "Perhaps we should check."
"Well," Sheppard said. "Something else. Hey, there's something here called 'stargate_trailer'."
"Probably a training video," Rodney scoffed.
"Or an educational one," Radek offered, leaning over and selecting it.
The trailer managed what none of its fellows had: reduced the room to utter, dead silence.
"Sam?" Teyla asked at last.
"I, um, I didn't meet Daniel until later, so I can't say for sure, but he seems to be doing a reasonable impression of the way Daniel was at the beginning -- "
She could hear soft noises of agreement behind her.
"-- and whoever they got for Skaara really looks like him, props to the casting department for that -- "
More noises.
"--but trying to picture Kurt Russell as Jack just breaks my brain."