Remembrance by wildcat88 [Family Challenge]
Title: Remembrance
Author:
wildcat88
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Word Count: ~3700
Characters: The Team
Spoilers: Set in late S4. Spoilers through Outcast
Summary: A gift for Teyla brings back memories one quiet afternoon.
A/N: Thanks to
kristen999for the quick beta and
seramercuryfor sparking the idea.
“Just bring it in…. Easy! Don’t drop it! Good…. There. Put it there. No, over there. Don’t they teach you how to follow directions in soldier school?”
“Knock it off, McKay,” John warned.
A wet-behind-the-ears sergeant shot him a look of gratitude as he hauled a man-sized box into the rec room and placed it in the spot indicated. Sheppard pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning against and clapped the young man on the shoulder.
“Pay no attention to the rude scientist, Phillips. His people skills were removed at birth. Thanks for delivering this.”
The fair-haired sergeant blushed at the attention. “Y-y-yes, Sir!” He ducked out the door as Ronon came through with a maintenance toolkit.
“This what you wanted, McKay?”
Glancing up from the box he was slowly ripping open, Rodney nodded. “Yeah. Give me a hand with this.”
John gave them a wide berth as McKay attacked the cardboard with a box cutter. “What is that?”
“It’s a gift from Jeannie.”
“Cookies?” Ronon asked hopefully. “The ones with the bits of chocolate in them?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “In a six-foot box? Are you kidding?”
“A man can hope,” John replied. “Your sister makes the best cookies. I like the oatmeal raisin.”
An unexpected flash of pride crossed McKay’s face. “Do you have any idea how many it would take to fill a box this size? Madison would be in high school before she finished. Now, quit thinking with your stomachs and help me before she gets here.”
John squatted next to him. “Pot, kettle and all that. And before who gets here?”
“Teyla. It’s a baby present for her.”
Once they finally got the packaging open, John recognized rockers in the midst of the wood and upholstery. “A rocking chair?”
“Yep.” McKay sorted the pieces as Ronon pulled them from the box. “Jeannie said that while the amenities here were unparalleled, there wasn’t a chair in this city fit for a pregnant woman much less a nursing mother.” His ears pinked a bit. “So she sent this. I figure we can move it to Teyla’s quarters after the baby is born if she’d rather, you know, have privacy.”
They spent the better part of an hour assembling the gliding rocker and matching footstool. Ronon had just returned from disposing of the box remnants when Teyla appeared.
“Am I late? I thought the time for… the movie…. What is that?”
Rodney grabbed her hand and pulled her to the rocker. “It’s a gift from Jeannie. For you.”
She sat carefully and smiled in delight as the chair glided smoothly backward. “This is wonderful.” Blinking moist eyes, she squeezed Rodney’s arm. “Please thank her for me.” She propped her feet on the footstool and giggled as it moved in time with the chair then snuggled into the cushioned back and seat.
Ronon picked the movie, “Gladiator again?” McKay whined, and they settled down for an afternoon off. Since they’d defeated the replicators, the galaxy had been relatively quiet. Other than the dearth of intel on the still-missing Athosians, things were good.
Two and a half hours later, John pulled the DVD from the player and returned it to its casing while Ronon and Rodney cleaned up the beer bottles and spilled potato chips.
“I told you-”
“Shhh. Teyla’s asleep,” Ronon murmured.
John turned at the warning, a ghost of a memory brushing his mind when he caught sight of Teyla. Something in her posture - head tilted to the left as she reclined, relaxed in sleep, both hands resting on her abdomen. Her hair was loose and obscured the right side of her face. Frowning, he concentrated, not realizing he was staring until McKay spoke up.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
And it came to him, blindingly clear. He sank onto the sofa, never taking his eyes off her.
“My mother used to sit just like that when she was pregnant with Dave.”
oOo
“Boy, how many times have I told you to be quiet? Your mother’s sleeping.”
John buzzed the airplane to a safe landing at half-volume. “But she’s always sleeping, Daddy.”
Patrick Sheppard scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I know, Johnny.” He took a seat in the large wingback chair and gazed fondly at his heavily pregnant wife. “Come here,” he said, patting a knee. “I want to talk to you for a minute.”
Scurrying to his dad’s side, he crawled into his lap in delight. Daddy rarely had time for him these days.
“I need you to listen very carefully. Your mom is… sick.”
“I thought Mommy was having a baby.”
“She is, but she’s also sick.”
“I know where the band-aids are. Can I kiss it and make it better?”
His dad ruffled his hair. “Not this time, buddy. The sickness is inside her.”
“Can Dr. Pete fix her?”
“No, Johnny. Mommy’s sickness can’t be fixed until after the baby is born. The radiation… the medicine would hurt the baby.”
“Oh.” He looked from his father’s face to his mother. She sat in her favorite rocker, hair sweeping over her face, her hands folded on top of her belly. Something wet splashed on his neck, but when he turned back to his dad, he didn’t see any tears. “But she’ll get better after, right?”
Patrick’s eyes strayed to the sleeping woman. “I hope so.” He set John down and swatted him lightly. “Now, play quietly.”
“Yes, sir.”
His dad went to his home office while John flew his bi-wing through the den, careful to not wake his mother. When he tired of that, he climbed the stairs to his bedroom and found his favorite picture book about Max and the land of the Wild Things. Clomping back down stairs, he sat next to the rocker and leaned until his back rested against her leg.
“What are you reading, Johnny?”
He jerked guiltily. “I didn’t mean to wake you, Mommy.”
“You didn’t.” She rubbed her hands lovingly over her belly and stood up awkwardly. “Why don’t we sit on the sofa so I can read it too?”
Grinning, he hopped up and followed, wriggling close to her side and handing her the book. He recited his favorite parts along with her, laying his head on her belly. He pulled away in surprise as something thumped his head.
“What is that, Mommy?” He stared as a bump appeared on her stomach and disappeared.
She laughed and held his hand to it, and he felt the thump again. “The baby’s kicking. He’s saying hello.”
He pressed his face to the bump and called loudly, “Hello!” Giggling, he rubbed his nose as the baby kicked again. “I think he likes me.”
His mom cupped his face in her hands. “Of course he does. What’s not to like?”
“I always wanted a brother. Ever since I was little.”
“Well, you might get a sister.”
“Ewww. If we do, can we take her back and get a brother?”
“That’s not how it works. You’ll be a great big brother whether it’s a boy or a girl.”
He laid his head on her belly again. “Did the baby make you sick?”
“Of course not. What would make you think that?”
John shrugged. “Daddy said you couldn’t get better until after the baby came.”
“Oh, Johnny.” She kissed the top of his head. “The baby has nothing to do with being sick. I just have to wait until after he’s born in order to take the medicine. I’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
oOo
“But she wasn’t. She died six weeks after Dave was born.”
“How old were you?” Rodney asked quietly.
“Four.” John sighed and scrubbed a hand over his neck. “I hardly have any memories of her, but I remember her sitting just like that for hours at a time.” His face flushed as he suddenly realized how much he’d shared. Damn beer.
Ronon took the DVD from him and slid it on the shelf. “I don’t remember my mother ever sitting down when I was young. Probably because I had three older brothers.”
“There were three more like you?” Rodney looked horrified.
“If you mean handsome warriors like me, yes.” He laughed at McKay’s sour expression. “My mother wasn’t afraid of anything. She was the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
oOo
“Do not speak of it again, Ronon.”
“Father would have let me,” he grumbled.
Andressa Dex stirred the soup angrily, counting to ten under her breath. “I doubt he would’ve let you join the military at fourteen, but he isn’t here anymore. I am, and you are not joining.”
“You let Larel.”
“He is of age as are Gareth and Navot.” Setting the spoon down, she wiped her hands on a towel and walked to where he sat slouched at the dining table. “I know you want to fight, and I’m sure you will get your chance, but not yet. You are still a child whether you like it or not. You will finish your schooling first.”
Ronon stood, towering over her. She came to the middle of his chest thanks to his early growth spurt, but she had a glare that could strip flesh from bone. Even his father, as big a man as he had been, had known to respect that look.
Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tightly. “Very well. For now.”
She patted his cheek lovingly. “Thank you, my son. Now, if you will put the plates on the table, your brothers will be here soon.”
The front door banged open as he finished, his brothers spilling noisily into the small flat. The oldest, Gareth, pulled at the dreadlocks that were just beginning to grow.
“You might become a man yet, little brother.”
Ronon shoved him away with a growl.
“Leave him alone,” his mother scolded. “He has years to go before the ceremony.”
Navot, who could look Ronon in the eye, winked at him then picked their mother up and spun her around.
She swatted at him, laughing. “Put me down this instant or no supper for you.”
“Put her down!” Larel called. “I’m starving.”
“So am I,” added Gareth.
Ronon rolled his eyes. “You’re always starving.”
Andressa set the pot of soup and a large loaf of bread in the center of the table. As they sat down to eat, Ronon took a minute to watch the faces of his family as they smiled, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, feeling content for the first time since his father had died.
oOo
“It was the last meal we had together. Larel was killed the next day during a training exercise, and my mother was culled a few months later at an off-world market. As tall as I am, no one questioned my age when I joined the military. I had no place else to go anyway.”
“What ceremony were you, um….” McKay waved vaguely at him. “You know.”
Ronon examined the tip of a dreadlock. “When a boy enters puberty, he grows his hair until the beginning of his second decade. A ceremony is held in which the locks are shaved off by family members.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I was a runner by then. Didn’t have any family to perform the ceremony. I decided to keep them as a reminder.”
“Sounds like you had a hell of a nice family,” John said.
“Yeah,” Rodney agreed wistfully. “I’m not sure my mom ever cooked a meal in her life.”
Sheppard quirked a brow at him. “Oh, come on. Even when you were little?”
“Especially when I was little. Jeannie and I were raised on what she brought home from the university cafeteria. When she remembered. Why do you think I like institutional food so much?”
“Dorm food?” Sheppard grimaced. “That explains a lot about you.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
oOo
“I’m hungry, Mer,” Jeannie whined.
“Me too.” He glanced at the clock. “It’s almost eight. Put on your pajamas. If she isn’t here by the time you’re ready for bed, I’ll make you something to eat.”
“When is Dad coming home?”
“Um, in a couple of days, I think. He said he’d be home for my piano recital on Thursday.”
Jeannie pouted all the way to her room while Rodney sketched the rough draft of the model for his science fair exhibit. His head was pounding. Mom hadn’t made lunch for them today, and he’d given all his money to his sister so she could eat. He’d searched through the cabinets when they came home, using the last of the bread and a dab of ketchup for a sandwich they split.
When Jeannie returned, bottom lip trembling and Mr. Fluffy gripped tightly in her arms, he rummaged through the kitchen again. He had no idea what to do with a whole frozen chicken, and the ham in the refrigerator had spots on it. At least the box of lasagna noodles had instructions. A few minutes later, he put two sticky pieces on Jeannie’s plate and poured her a cup of water.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Lasagna.”
“Doesn’t look like Grandma’s lasagna.”
“Then don’t eat it.”
She made a face but ate every bite of it. “What are we going to do for lunch tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to Mom.”
Jeannie’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Brush your teeth and go to bed. It’s past your bedtime.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Do you want to be up when she gets home?”
“No,” Jeannie mumbled. “G’night Mer.”
“Goodnight.”
His rough draft was almost complete by the time he heard the garage door go up. He hurriedly stuffed his papers in his backpack and ran an eye over the kitchen and den. Everything was in its place. Racing to his room, he tugged his pajamas on, unmade his bed and rolled around in it for a second. Mussing his hair, he slumped his shoulders and shuffled back to the family area.
“Mom?”
“Meredith, dear. Did I wake you?”
The buttons on her blouse weren’t done properly, and he could smell the alcohol across the room. “No, ma’am. I had to use the bathroom.”
“Well, go back to bed.” Greta Reardon turned her back to him and pulled a stack of folders from her bag. “Morons,” she muttered as she flipped open the first one. “Not one of them will make a decent scientist.”
“Mom.”
“I cannot believe the level of stupidity allowed at the undergraduate level these days.”
“Mom.”
Attacking the project with a red pen, she tossed it aside and picked up the next. “I could have done so much with my life, but instead I’m stuck teaching Intro Physics to idiots.”
“Mom.” Gritting his teeth, he stepped with her reach. “Mom.”
“What!” She slammed down the folder and glared at him. “Why aren’t you in bed?”
“My head hurts.”
Rolling her eyes, she pushed away from the table and went to her bathroom. While she was gone, he dug rapidly through her purse, snatching a few bills and memorizing her credit card number. She stomped back in the room and thrust a handful of pills at him. “It’s probably just a headache, but knowing my luck, you have a brain tumor.”
“A brain tumor?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me these days with the depletion of the ozone. The sun’s radiation is lethal, remember?”
He dry-swallowed two pills and stuffed the rest in the pocket with the cash. “Yes, ma’am.”
She flopped back in her chair and picked up her pen. “Another loser. Pathetic.”
“Mom.”
“How the world continues to function with this level of incompetence is nothing short of miraculous.”
“Mom.”
“Not another word.”
Rodney shifted from one foot to the other. “But there isn’t anything to-”
“Do you not ever shut up?” Her voice was low and furious. “I’ve told you twice to go to bed, and you continue to disobey.” She laid the pen down carefully and stood.
“I’m sorry. I’m going. Right now.” He backpedaled quickly as she came toward him.
“This is your fault. Your father is gone all the time, and I’m stuck here in this crappy house working at a university with no prestige because of you. One mistake and my life is ruined forever.”
Rodney knew better than to cry. He withdrew into himself until her tirade ended then silently retreated to his room.
oOo
He unconsciously brushed his fingers down the side of his face. “She left six months later. We never heard from her again.”
“God, Rodney,” John whispered. “I had no idea.”
McKay stared at his hands for a long moment, his expression naked, and gave a half-shrug. “No reason you should. We don’t talk about it.”
“What happened to her?” Ronon asked.
Rodney’s face twisted bitterly. “Last I heard, she was teaching at Cal Tech. I lost track when I was sent to Russia, and I’ve been a little outside the normal scientific circles since then.”
“I wonder how my child will view me,” Teyla murmured, smiling as they whirled in surprise. “Will I be a distant memory or a treasured one or one best forgotten?”
“Do you really think you won’t be a great mom?”
“I hope to be, Rodney, but my son may not think so.”
“Don’t worry,” Ronon said. “We’ll make sure he does.”
“You’ll be terrific. You’ve had plenty of practice with us,” John added.
“That is very true,” Teyla laughed. “My mother often said the best sign of a good leader is the ability to control the uncontrollable.”
oOo
“Will we ever be free of the Wraith?” Teyla asked.
Velana Rel Ka-Emmagan ran her hands through her daughter’s hair, separating the strands to plait them. “Perhaps one day. We must never give up hope.”
“What good is hope against such an enemy?”
Her mother paused for a moment. “Sometimes hope is all we have. As long as one Athosian draws breath, the Wraith have not won. The birth of a child is an act of defiance itself. We will not surrender to them.”
“Instead we continue to supply them with food.”
Moving to kneel in front of her, Velana frowned as she took her hand. “Where has such an attitude come from?”
“Kanaan said-”
“Kanaan will not be the next leader of the Athosians.”
Teyla pulled her hand away. “There is no guarantee that I will be. Kanaan has The Gift as strongly as I.”
Her mother grasped her chin. “Having The Gift does not make you a leader, especially a good one. It takes strength of character, an ability to put others before yourself, a desire to choose right over easy, establishing control in the midst of chaos.” Standing, she moved behind Teyla and resumed braiding. “Leadership will fall to you, Daughter, but hopefully not any time soon. Ten seasons is not a sufficient childhood.”
“Will I be a good leader?”
Velana banded the plait and moved to sit next to her. “You already are. Have you never noticed your playmates looking to you?”
“Not really.”
She put her arm around Teyla and pulled her close. “They do. You have earned their respect by giving it to all you encounter. Continue to do so. Give great consideration to whom your counselors will be. Seek wisdom. Listen to all viewpoints but always do what is best for our people.”
“Were you disappointed not to be chosen?”
Velana laughed gently. “Who do you think helped your father to become the great leader he is?” She tickled Teyla playfully, and they giggled together. “Do not tell him I said that. The people made their decision, and a good one in my opinion. Your father is firm but fair in all of his dealings and is willing to spend long, tedious hours on trade negotiations. I do not envy him.”
“But you would have been a good leader.”
“Perhaps. But I do not have the patience for it. I am content to be on the Council. I also happen to be fond of being your mother.”
Teyla considered her words. “Will I have to choose?”
“Choose what?”
“Between being a leader and a mother.”
“Remember first that a mother is a leader, but no, I do not believe that you will have to choose between being the leader of the Athosians and being a mother. Our people will be here to support you, to care for your children when you are called away. If the threat of the Wraith has any benefit, it is to remind us of the preciousness of each life. We care for every child as our own. We will do so for yours as well.”
oOo
Teyla stroked her thumb over the spot where her son kicked. “I was not there for them, and now they are not here for me.”
“We’ll find them,” John promised. “We won’t stop looking.”
Ronon grinned. “And you have us. He’ll be in good hands.
“I can only imagine what you’ll teach him,” Rodney muttered. “A thousand ways to use a knife.”
“At least that’s useful,” Ronon shot back. “What will you teach him? How to talk a Wraith to death?”
“Oh. Ha. You wound me with such wit.”
Sheppard rolled his eyes, and Teyla laughed at their antics. They made life much more bearable. Most of the time.
“What happened to your mom?” John’s voice was low, but Rodney and Ronon both turned at the question.
Smiling sadly, Teyla sighed. “When I was thirteen, she was injured in a rock slide. We did not have sufficient medical knowledge to save her. She died a few days later.” Pulling herself from the memory, she pushed on the chair’s arms and slowly stood. “I believe it is time for dinner. I have heard a rumor that we are having Tuna Surprise.”
Rodney grinned in delight. “That’s one of my favorites.”
“There’s a shocker,” John retorted. “You have a cast iron stomach.”
“Better than a cast iron head.”
Ronon snorted. “You have one of those too, McKay.”
Teyla giggled as they continued to trade barbs. They might not be Athosian, but they were just as much her family. Glancing back one last time at the rocking chair, she smoothed her hands over her rounded belly.
“You have been blessed, my son.”
Author:
wildcat88
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Word Count: ~3700
Characters: The Team
Spoilers: Set in late S4. Spoilers through Outcast
Summary: A gift for Teyla brings back memories one quiet afternoon.
A/N: Thanks to
kristen999for the quick beta and
seramercuryfor sparking the idea.
“Just bring it in…. Easy! Don’t drop it! Good…. There. Put it there. No, over there. Don’t they teach you how to follow directions in soldier school?”
“Knock it off, McKay,” John warned.
A wet-behind-the-ears sergeant shot him a look of gratitude as he hauled a man-sized box into the rec room and placed it in the spot indicated. Sheppard pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning against and clapped the young man on the shoulder.
“Pay no attention to the rude scientist, Phillips. His people skills were removed at birth. Thanks for delivering this.”
The fair-haired sergeant blushed at the attention. “Y-y-yes, Sir!” He ducked out the door as Ronon came through with a maintenance toolkit.
“This what you wanted, McKay?”
Glancing up from the box he was slowly ripping open, Rodney nodded. “Yeah. Give me a hand with this.”
John gave them a wide berth as McKay attacked the cardboard with a box cutter. “What is that?”
“It’s a gift from Jeannie.”
“Cookies?” Ronon asked hopefully. “The ones with the bits of chocolate in them?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “In a six-foot box? Are you kidding?”
“A man can hope,” John replied. “Your sister makes the best cookies. I like the oatmeal raisin.”
An unexpected flash of pride crossed McKay’s face. “Do you have any idea how many it would take to fill a box this size? Madison would be in high school before she finished. Now, quit thinking with your stomachs and help me before she gets here.”
John squatted next to him. “Pot, kettle and all that. And before who gets here?”
“Teyla. It’s a baby present for her.”
Once they finally got the packaging open, John recognized rockers in the midst of the wood and upholstery. “A rocking chair?”
“Yep.” McKay sorted the pieces as Ronon pulled them from the box. “Jeannie said that while the amenities here were unparalleled, there wasn’t a chair in this city fit for a pregnant woman much less a nursing mother.” His ears pinked a bit. “So she sent this. I figure we can move it to Teyla’s quarters after the baby is born if she’d rather, you know, have privacy.”
They spent the better part of an hour assembling the gliding rocker and matching footstool. Ronon had just returned from disposing of the box remnants when Teyla appeared.
“Am I late? I thought the time for… the movie…. What is that?”
Rodney grabbed her hand and pulled her to the rocker. “It’s a gift from Jeannie. For you.”
She sat carefully and smiled in delight as the chair glided smoothly backward. “This is wonderful.” Blinking moist eyes, she squeezed Rodney’s arm. “Please thank her for me.” She propped her feet on the footstool and giggled as it moved in time with the chair then snuggled into the cushioned back and seat.
Ronon picked the movie, “Gladiator again?” McKay whined, and they settled down for an afternoon off. Since they’d defeated the replicators, the galaxy had been relatively quiet. Other than the dearth of intel on the still-missing Athosians, things were good.
Two and a half hours later, John pulled the DVD from the player and returned it to its casing while Ronon and Rodney cleaned up the beer bottles and spilled potato chips.
“I told you-”
“Shhh. Teyla’s asleep,” Ronon murmured.
John turned at the warning, a ghost of a memory brushing his mind when he caught sight of Teyla. Something in her posture - head tilted to the left as she reclined, relaxed in sleep, both hands resting on her abdomen. Her hair was loose and obscured the right side of her face. Frowning, he concentrated, not realizing he was staring until McKay spoke up.
“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
And it came to him, blindingly clear. He sank onto the sofa, never taking his eyes off her.
“My mother used to sit just like that when she was pregnant with Dave.”
oOo
“Boy, how many times have I told you to be quiet? Your mother’s sleeping.”
John buzzed the airplane to a safe landing at half-volume. “But she’s always sleeping, Daddy.”
Patrick Sheppard scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I know, Johnny.” He took a seat in the large wingback chair and gazed fondly at his heavily pregnant wife. “Come here,” he said, patting a knee. “I want to talk to you for a minute.”
Scurrying to his dad’s side, he crawled into his lap in delight. Daddy rarely had time for him these days.
“I need you to listen very carefully. Your mom is… sick.”
“I thought Mommy was having a baby.”
“She is, but she’s also sick.”
“I know where the band-aids are. Can I kiss it and make it better?”
His dad ruffled his hair. “Not this time, buddy. The sickness is inside her.”
“Can Dr. Pete fix her?”
“No, Johnny. Mommy’s sickness can’t be fixed until after the baby is born. The radiation… the medicine would hurt the baby.”
“Oh.” He looked from his father’s face to his mother. She sat in her favorite rocker, hair sweeping over her face, her hands folded on top of her belly. Something wet splashed on his neck, but when he turned back to his dad, he didn’t see any tears. “But she’ll get better after, right?”
Patrick’s eyes strayed to the sleeping woman. “I hope so.” He set John down and swatted him lightly. “Now, play quietly.”
“Yes, sir.”
His dad went to his home office while John flew his bi-wing through the den, careful to not wake his mother. When he tired of that, he climbed the stairs to his bedroom and found his favorite picture book about Max and the land of the Wild Things. Clomping back down stairs, he sat next to the rocker and leaned until his back rested against her leg.
“What are you reading, Johnny?”
He jerked guiltily. “I didn’t mean to wake you, Mommy.”
“You didn’t.” She rubbed her hands lovingly over her belly and stood up awkwardly. “Why don’t we sit on the sofa so I can read it too?”
Grinning, he hopped up and followed, wriggling close to her side and handing her the book. He recited his favorite parts along with her, laying his head on her belly. He pulled away in surprise as something thumped his head.
“What is that, Mommy?” He stared as a bump appeared on her stomach and disappeared.
She laughed and held his hand to it, and he felt the thump again. “The baby’s kicking. He’s saying hello.”
He pressed his face to the bump and called loudly, “Hello!” Giggling, he rubbed his nose as the baby kicked again. “I think he likes me.”
His mom cupped his face in her hands. “Of course he does. What’s not to like?”
“I always wanted a brother. Ever since I was little.”
“Well, you might get a sister.”
“Ewww. If we do, can we take her back and get a brother?”
“That’s not how it works. You’ll be a great big brother whether it’s a boy or a girl.”
He laid his head on her belly again. “Did the baby make you sick?”
“Of course not. What would make you think that?”
John shrugged. “Daddy said you couldn’t get better until after the baby came.”
“Oh, Johnny.” She kissed the top of his head. “The baby has nothing to do with being sick. I just have to wait until after he’s born in order to take the medicine. I’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
oOo
“But she wasn’t. She died six weeks after Dave was born.”
“How old were you?” Rodney asked quietly.
“Four.” John sighed and scrubbed a hand over his neck. “I hardly have any memories of her, but I remember her sitting just like that for hours at a time.” His face flushed as he suddenly realized how much he’d shared. Damn beer.
Ronon took the DVD from him and slid it on the shelf. “I don’t remember my mother ever sitting down when I was young. Probably because I had three older brothers.”
“There were three more like you?” Rodney looked horrified.
“If you mean handsome warriors like me, yes.” He laughed at McKay’s sour expression. “My mother wasn’t afraid of anything. She was the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
oOo
“Do not speak of it again, Ronon.”
“Father would have let me,” he grumbled.
Andressa Dex stirred the soup angrily, counting to ten under her breath. “I doubt he would’ve let you join the military at fourteen, but he isn’t here anymore. I am, and you are not joining.”
“You let Larel.”
“He is of age as are Gareth and Navot.” Setting the spoon down, she wiped her hands on a towel and walked to where he sat slouched at the dining table. “I know you want to fight, and I’m sure you will get your chance, but not yet. You are still a child whether you like it or not. You will finish your schooling first.”
Ronon stood, towering over her. She came to the middle of his chest thanks to his early growth spurt, but she had a glare that could strip flesh from bone. Even his father, as big a man as he had been, had known to respect that look.
Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tightly. “Very well. For now.”
She patted his cheek lovingly. “Thank you, my son. Now, if you will put the plates on the table, your brothers will be here soon.”
The front door banged open as he finished, his brothers spilling noisily into the small flat. The oldest, Gareth, pulled at the dreadlocks that were just beginning to grow.
“You might become a man yet, little brother.”
Ronon shoved him away with a growl.
“Leave him alone,” his mother scolded. “He has years to go before the ceremony.”
Navot, who could look Ronon in the eye, winked at him then picked their mother up and spun her around.
She swatted at him, laughing. “Put me down this instant or no supper for you.”
“Put her down!” Larel called. “I’m starving.”
“So am I,” added Gareth.
Ronon rolled his eyes. “You’re always starving.”
Andressa set the pot of soup and a large loaf of bread in the center of the table. As they sat down to eat, Ronon took a minute to watch the faces of his family as they smiled, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, feeling content for the first time since his father had died.
oOo
“It was the last meal we had together. Larel was killed the next day during a training exercise, and my mother was culled a few months later at an off-world market. As tall as I am, no one questioned my age when I joined the military. I had no place else to go anyway.”
“What ceremony were you, um….” McKay waved vaguely at him. “You know.”
Ronon examined the tip of a dreadlock. “When a boy enters puberty, he grows his hair until the beginning of his second decade. A ceremony is held in which the locks are shaved off by family members.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I was a runner by then. Didn’t have any family to perform the ceremony. I decided to keep them as a reminder.”
“Sounds like you had a hell of a nice family,” John said.
“Yeah,” Rodney agreed wistfully. “I’m not sure my mom ever cooked a meal in her life.”
Sheppard quirked a brow at him. “Oh, come on. Even when you were little?”
“Especially when I was little. Jeannie and I were raised on what she brought home from the university cafeteria. When she remembered. Why do you think I like institutional food so much?”
“Dorm food?” Sheppard grimaced. “That explains a lot about you.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
oOo
“I’m hungry, Mer,” Jeannie whined.
“Me too.” He glanced at the clock. “It’s almost eight. Put on your pajamas. If she isn’t here by the time you’re ready for bed, I’ll make you something to eat.”
“When is Dad coming home?”
“Um, in a couple of days, I think. He said he’d be home for my piano recital on Thursday.”
Jeannie pouted all the way to her room while Rodney sketched the rough draft of the model for his science fair exhibit. His head was pounding. Mom hadn’t made lunch for them today, and he’d given all his money to his sister so she could eat. He’d searched through the cabinets when they came home, using the last of the bread and a dab of ketchup for a sandwich they split.
When Jeannie returned, bottom lip trembling and Mr. Fluffy gripped tightly in her arms, he rummaged through the kitchen again. He had no idea what to do with a whole frozen chicken, and the ham in the refrigerator had spots on it. At least the box of lasagna noodles had instructions. A few minutes later, he put two sticky pieces on Jeannie’s plate and poured her a cup of water.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Lasagna.”
“Doesn’t look like Grandma’s lasagna.”
“Then don’t eat it.”
She made a face but ate every bite of it. “What are we going to do for lunch tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to Mom.”
Jeannie’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Brush your teeth and go to bed. It’s past your bedtime.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Do you want to be up when she gets home?”
“No,” Jeannie mumbled. “G’night Mer.”
“Goodnight.”
His rough draft was almost complete by the time he heard the garage door go up. He hurriedly stuffed his papers in his backpack and ran an eye over the kitchen and den. Everything was in its place. Racing to his room, he tugged his pajamas on, unmade his bed and rolled around in it for a second. Mussing his hair, he slumped his shoulders and shuffled back to the family area.
“Mom?”
“Meredith, dear. Did I wake you?”
The buttons on her blouse weren’t done properly, and he could smell the alcohol across the room. “No, ma’am. I had to use the bathroom.”
“Well, go back to bed.” Greta Reardon turned her back to him and pulled a stack of folders from her bag. “Morons,” she muttered as she flipped open the first one. “Not one of them will make a decent scientist.”
“Mom.”
“I cannot believe the level of stupidity allowed at the undergraduate level these days.”
“Mom.”
Attacking the project with a red pen, she tossed it aside and picked up the next. “I could have done so much with my life, but instead I’m stuck teaching Intro Physics to idiots.”
“Mom.” Gritting his teeth, he stepped with her reach. “Mom.”
“What!” She slammed down the folder and glared at him. “Why aren’t you in bed?”
“My head hurts.”
Rolling her eyes, she pushed away from the table and went to her bathroom. While she was gone, he dug rapidly through her purse, snatching a few bills and memorizing her credit card number. She stomped back in the room and thrust a handful of pills at him. “It’s probably just a headache, but knowing my luck, you have a brain tumor.”
“A brain tumor?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me these days with the depletion of the ozone. The sun’s radiation is lethal, remember?”
He dry-swallowed two pills and stuffed the rest in the pocket with the cash. “Yes, ma’am.”
She flopped back in her chair and picked up her pen. “Another loser. Pathetic.”
“Mom.”
“How the world continues to function with this level of incompetence is nothing short of miraculous.”
“Mom.”
“Not another word.”
Rodney shifted from one foot to the other. “But there isn’t anything to-”
“Do you not ever shut up?” Her voice was low and furious. “I’ve told you twice to go to bed, and you continue to disobey.” She laid the pen down carefully and stood.
“I’m sorry. I’m going. Right now.” He backpedaled quickly as she came toward him.
“This is your fault. Your father is gone all the time, and I’m stuck here in this crappy house working at a university with no prestige because of you. One mistake and my life is ruined forever.”
Rodney knew better than to cry. He withdrew into himself until her tirade ended then silently retreated to his room.
oOo
He unconsciously brushed his fingers down the side of his face. “She left six months later. We never heard from her again.”
“God, Rodney,” John whispered. “I had no idea.”
McKay stared at his hands for a long moment, his expression naked, and gave a half-shrug. “No reason you should. We don’t talk about it.”
“What happened to her?” Ronon asked.
Rodney’s face twisted bitterly. “Last I heard, she was teaching at Cal Tech. I lost track when I was sent to Russia, and I’ve been a little outside the normal scientific circles since then.”
“I wonder how my child will view me,” Teyla murmured, smiling as they whirled in surprise. “Will I be a distant memory or a treasured one or one best forgotten?”
“Do you really think you won’t be a great mom?”
“I hope to be, Rodney, but my son may not think so.”
“Don’t worry,” Ronon said. “We’ll make sure he does.”
“You’ll be terrific. You’ve had plenty of practice with us,” John added.
“That is very true,” Teyla laughed. “My mother often said the best sign of a good leader is the ability to control the uncontrollable.”
oOo
“Will we ever be free of the Wraith?” Teyla asked.
Velana Rel Ka-Emmagan ran her hands through her daughter’s hair, separating the strands to plait them. “Perhaps one day. We must never give up hope.”
“What good is hope against such an enemy?”
Her mother paused for a moment. “Sometimes hope is all we have. As long as one Athosian draws breath, the Wraith have not won. The birth of a child is an act of defiance itself. We will not surrender to them.”
“Instead we continue to supply them with food.”
Moving to kneel in front of her, Velana frowned as she took her hand. “Where has such an attitude come from?”
“Kanaan said-”
“Kanaan will not be the next leader of the Athosians.”
Teyla pulled her hand away. “There is no guarantee that I will be. Kanaan has The Gift as strongly as I.”
Her mother grasped her chin. “Having The Gift does not make you a leader, especially a good one. It takes strength of character, an ability to put others before yourself, a desire to choose right over easy, establishing control in the midst of chaos.” Standing, she moved behind Teyla and resumed braiding. “Leadership will fall to you, Daughter, but hopefully not any time soon. Ten seasons is not a sufficient childhood.”
“Will I be a good leader?”
Velana banded the plait and moved to sit next to her. “You already are. Have you never noticed your playmates looking to you?”
“Not really.”
She put her arm around Teyla and pulled her close. “They do. You have earned their respect by giving it to all you encounter. Continue to do so. Give great consideration to whom your counselors will be. Seek wisdom. Listen to all viewpoints but always do what is best for our people.”
“Were you disappointed not to be chosen?”
Velana laughed gently. “Who do you think helped your father to become the great leader he is?” She tickled Teyla playfully, and they giggled together. “Do not tell him I said that. The people made their decision, and a good one in my opinion. Your father is firm but fair in all of his dealings and is willing to spend long, tedious hours on trade negotiations. I do not envy him.”
“But you would have been a good leader.”
“Perhaps. But I do not have the patience for it. I am content to be on the Council. I also happen to be fond of being your mother.”
Teyla considered her words. “Will I have to choose?”
“Choose what?”
“Between being a leader and a mother.”
“Remember first that a mother is a leader, but no, I do not believe that you will have to choose between being the leader of the Athosians and being a mother. Our people will be here to support you, to care for your children when you are called away. If the threat of the Wraith has any benefit, it is to remind us of the preciousness of each life. We care for every child as our own. We will do so for yours as well.”
oOo
Teyla stroked her thumb over the spot where her son kicked. “I was not there for them, and now they are not here for me.”
“We’ll find them,” John promised. “We won’t stop looking.”
Ronon grinned. “And you have us. He’ll be in good hands.
“I can only imagine what you’ll teach him,” Rodney muttered. “A thousand ways to use a knife.”
“At least that’s useful,” Ronon shot back. “What will you teach him? How to talk a Wraith to death?”
“Oh. Ha. You wound me with such wit.”
Sheppard rolled his eyes, and Teyla laughed at their antics. They made life much more bearable. Most of the time.
“What happened to your mom?” John’s voice was low, but Rodney and Ronon both turned at the question.
Smiling sadly, Teyla sighed. “When I was thirteen, she was injured in a rock slide. We did not have sufficient medical knowledge to save her. She died a few days later.” Pulling herself from the memory, she pushed on the chair’s arms and slowly stood. “I believe it is time for dinner. I have heard a rumor that we are having Tuna Surprise.”
Rodney grinned in delight. “That’s one of my favorites.”
“There’s a shocker,” John retorted. “You have a cast iron stomach.”
“Better than a cast iron head.”
Ronon snorted. “You have one of those too, McKay.”
Teyla giggled as they continued to trade barbs. They might not be Athosian, but they were just as much her family. Glancing back one last time at the rocking chair, she smoothed her hands over her rounded belly.
“You have been blessed, my son.”