Five Commanders Atlantis Never Had by teh_bug (five things challenge)
Title: Five Commanders Atlantis Never Had (And The Crews That Came With Them)
Author: teh_bug
Words: ~5,000
Pairing: Gen with (mostly) canonical pairing hints thrown in.
Rating: PG
Notes: Er, certain canons and/or people's ranks have been stretched (in some places more than others) to fit the crossovers. I apologize in advance for any mistakes that may have occurred in the process if stretching canons. However, if I did make a mistake not related to the stretching of canons, please point it out to me, so that I don't make it again. =)
1. Miss Parker
“Rodney, I'm pretty sure she can't steal your soul just by looking into your eyes.”
Rodney pauses mid-rant to turn and glare at John. “Have you ever looked into her eyes?”
Well, no, not technically, there's no use in taking unnecessary risks, but still. “Miss Parker's been on base for three weeks already, if it were possible for her to steal our souls, she would've done so by now.” John points out.
Rodney snorts. “Tried talking to Zelenka recently?”
Someone coughs a laugh behind him and John turns to see the new Belgium psychologist two tables over reading a book and discreetly tucking a smile away behind his fist.
“And have you ever noticed how it's Miss Parker?” continues Rodney starting into Rant #37, or as John likes to think of it, Yet-Another-Reason-Why-The Evil-Stiletto-Heel-Wearing-Dictator-Is-Unfit-For-Duty. “Miss Parker. Not Doctor or Colonel or heaven-forbid Ms. It's like she gets a kick out of broadcasting how unqualified and excruciatingly single she is.”
“I-I'm sure it's not entirely like that,” ventures one of the computer technicians, Bruce, or Brutes maybe? “She's probably got a very good reason for getting assigned out here.”
“Yeah, like what?” Rodney shoots back. “She's sleeping with the head of the IOA? Is that it? She got this job because the IOA head is her boyfriend?!”
“Actually,” says a calm crisp voice. “He's my father.”
It's almost hilarious to watch the speed at which the blood drains out of Rodney's face. “Miss Parker,” Rodney swallows, “I-I wasn't expecting to see you...here, that is, I mean, of course I expected to see you around the base, because you are in charge after all, and...and.”
“My office, now,” snaps Miss Parker and turns to leave.
“I...I...” protests Rodney weakly, looking around the table for support.
“Now!”
Twenty minutes later, Rodney staggers into Lab 1, shell-shocked and pale, and promptly collapses at his desk.
“You okay there, buddy?” Asks John, who was totally not hanging around the Lab idly waiting to hear the fallout report and putting off paperwork, why do you ask?
Rodney rolls his gaze to John and stares. “I think I understand why she got the job.”
“I'm guessing nepotism had nothing to do with it,” John suggests with a lazy shrug.
Rodney huffs a laugh. “Trust me, in this case, nepotism would be preferable.” He taps on his keyboard and pulls up the duty roster. “She wants me to find a use for Angelo in the labs.”
“Angelo?” John wrinkles his nose. “You mean the creepy guy that doesn't make eye contact and crawls around in the vents all the time?”
Rodney nods. “That's the one.” He waves his hand dismissively. “It'll be fine. I'll just pawn him off on Zelenka.”
“Hey!” Zelenka looks up from his corner of the lab and frowns.
“If it's all the same to you, Dr. McKay, I'd like to work with him,” says a dark-haired scientist. “I have some experience working with people in Angelo's condition.”
“Yes, yes, yes, fine.” Rodney waves another dismissive hand. “You can have him, Dr....whoever you are.”
“It's Dr. Rogers,” the dark-haired scientist says with a bright, easy, smile. “But, please, call me Jarod.”
2. Dr. Lisa Cuddy
“You want to do what?”
“Overhaul the entire mainframe and decrease the power usage in key areas of the city, redirecting the energy from non-essential tasks to more important areas...like the Astrophysics lab.”
Dr. Cuddy levels a long look at Rodney. “By essentially shutting down all of Atlantis' main systems.”
“For just one hour!” Rodney protests. “And then I'll turn them back on and we'll double the power efficiency.”
“And if it doesn't work?”
Rodney looks down and shrugs sheepishly. “Then...we would be at somewhat of a...disadvantage...for an indeterminate amount of time.”
Cuddy smiles quick and tight. “Right. Absolutely not. Next!”
“Oh come on!” argues Rodney. “It's not like I'd be working on it alone. Zelenka would be there too.”
Cuddy visibly bites down on a smile. “You would let Dr. Zelenka help on this?”
“Yes, of course, he could....” Rodney mentally gropes for a task suitable for Zelenka. “He could, you know, hand me tools, get me coffee, things like that.”
The corners of Cuddy lips twitch up. “And Dr. Zelenka agreed with you that this is the best way to move forward?”
“Yes, absolutely.” If by “agreed with”, she meant “had loudly argued that this was the stupidest way to go about things and had repeatedly insisted upon having nothing to do with the project.”
“Mmm-hmmm,” says Dr. Cuddy thoughtfully. “No.”
“But...” Rodney whines.
“Any other questions?”
“Well, no, but...”
“Excellent.” Cuddy pulls a file off the corner of her desk. “Then we're done here. Have a nice day!”
“But...but...” Rodney protests as he walks out of her office. He turns and nearly bumps into a duo of medical staff waiting outside.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” one of them, a scruffy faced doctor with a cane shakes his head disparagingly. “That's no way to get Cuddy over on your side. You have to woo her with sweet words that demonstrate the depths of your respect for her both as a person and as a leader of this fine establishment in the bleak, dark corner of space.” He strides up to her office door and flings it open with flair. “Hello, Dr. Bikini Stuffer! How are your delicate orbs of womanhood feeling today?”
“Get the hell out of my office, House.”
The other doctor, smooth-faced and without a cane, sighs deeply and resigned. “He's normally not this bad. He just...forgot to take his medication this morning...and the morning before that...and the morning before that...”
From behind Cuddy's office door, Rodney hears “Oh my GAWD! A lesbian threesome with Keller and Cameron! Say it ain't so!”
Rodney stares at the door. “For what, the past twenty years?”
The smooth-faced doctor shrugs. “More like the past thirty.”
“Jello shots?! I am APPALLED!”
3. Colonel Brenda Leigh Johnson
Colonel Brenda Leigh Johnson strides into Atlantis on a Monday morning with a bright smile, a huge black purse, and a “Thank you, thank you, very much” in a heavy Southern drawl. She also brings disorganization, an inability to focus on anything but the task at hand, and an unsurprising estrangement from every department she's ever worked with.
Chuck's not impressed. He tries to be, because he's a big believer in not starting out with any assumptions about anyone - a clean slate, new start, etc, etc - but there's just something about her that rubs him the wrong way and he just can't work up the appropriate feelings of respect and admiration that he feels like she should deserve.
(“That's 'cause you're not lookin' at her legs,” Lt. Colonel Flynn mutters around a toothpick.
Dr. Provenza gives him a dirty look.
“What?” Flynn spreads his arms in a defensive shrug. “I'm just sayin'.”)
And then someone tries to kill Dr. Keller by putting celery seeds in her coffee. (Apparently Dr. Keller is deathly allergic to celery. Who knew?) Keller survives, but only just barely and a full-out investigation to determine the culprit is launched.
Within an hour of the attempt, Col. Johnson has eliminated an assassination attempt by the Genii (“They would've been shovin' our noses in it.”), the Wraith (“Much too subtle. 'Sides I think they were raised better than to play with their food.”), or the Asuran (“Take all the trouble to get this far in the base and then do nothing to the insides?”), and is working on systematically crossing off base members based on ability (“Couldn't have been anyone without access to the medical records, which leaves us with all medical personnel and every scientist who knows anything about hacking into computers.”), opportunity (“Check all duty rosters. Let's see who wasn't going anywhere, last night.”) and motive (“She was working on a method of what amounts to mass genocide. I can't imagine that makes her popular in all corners of the world.”) Within four hours, she has two white boards full of theories, three people in interrogation rooms, and five tests being run.
Not that Chuck is actively involved with the investigation or anything. He hears all this from his post in the gate room. It's a pretty good place to be in times of chaos, because almost everybody has to dash past there at one point or another and they're usually talking/ranting at a loud volume about things they really shouldn't be.
In other words, it's gossip central. Especially, if you have a co-conspirator.
“Apparently, it's not Simpson,” Says Sgt. Watson, or Buzz as everyone on base knows him, with a shrug. “She was with her boyfriend at the time.”
“She's dating?” Chuck frowns thoughtfully and takes a sip of coffee. “Who's her boyfriend?”
“Kavanagh.”
Chuck chokes on his coffee and instinctively glances around for Dr. Tao. He too, like Dr. Zelenka, has strong feelings about drinks in close proximity to the 10,000 year old consoles.
“That's how I felt about it too,” Buzz quirks a sympathetic grin. “Don't worry. Last I heard, Tao's down in Engineering collecting bets from the last fight.”
Chuck wipes his mouth and gives one last quick Tao-check. “Oh, who won that round, anyways? I was on duty and I didn't see. Ronon, right?”
“Actually,” Buzz says, “I think Sanchez did.”
Chuck pauses. “Sanchez? Sanchez beat Ronon?!”
“That's what I heard.” Buzz shrugs. “According to the rumors, Sanchez ended up with a broken wrist and Ronon ended up knocked out.”
Well, huh. Yet another reason to avoid Tao. The man was kinda scary when it came to collecting his bets. “I didn't think his arms were long enough-”
“Buzz!” Col. Johnson darts past Chuck in the control station and gestures at Buzz as she walk-runs past. “I need cameras in Conference Room 3, thank you.” She stops, and turns. “Oh, and let me know when Colonel Sheppard gets here, if you please.”
“Right away, Colonel,” Buzz taps at his keyboard and the view of three cameras flash up on his monitor.
Col. Johnson nods distractedly as she leaves the room. “Thank you, thank you so very much.”
Chuck looks over at Buzz in confusion. “What was-?”
Buzz frowns. “I'm not sure.” He taps a few more keys. “She's on private channel 7, if you wanna listen in.”
Chuck changes the frequency on his earpiece and unabashedly looks over Buzz's shoulder at his monitor.
“-- isn't that right, Dr. Biro?” Says Col. Johnson.
Dr. Biro giggles nervously. “I don't know. I'm only a pathologist. I don't usually work with living people.”
“Oh,” Says Col. Johnson sympathetically. “That's a pity, because you have such a lovely personality.”
“Thank you,” Dr. Biro tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and twists her lips into an awkward smile. “So, um, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh, I just need you to clarify a few things for me,” Col. Johnson pulls out a couple of files from her big black bag and rifles through one of them. “I have here that you were working the morning when Dr. Keller was poisoned? Is that right?”
“That's right,” Biro nods and folds her hands together. “I was down in the pathology lab.”
“I see,” Col. Johnson peers over her file thoughtfully. “And where is that again? It's kinda embarrassin' to admit, but I'm still not entirely sure where everything is around here.”
“It's right past the infirmary.” Biro demonstrates with her hands. “You take a left just after genetics, walk past the infirmary, and it's the third door on your right.”
“Oh!” Col. Johnson smiles brightly. “I know where that is! Why that's the little ol' room, next to the morgue, isn't it?”
“Yeah,” Biro forces a sickly smile. “That's the one.”
Col. Johnson frowns, confused. “That's such a small room. I'd think a highly respected doctor, like yourself, would want to work in one of the bigger labs or maybe in the infirmary.”
Biro's sickly smile wavers. “I do. I, uh, applied a few times to be moved to a different lab.”
“Oh, that's right!” Col. Johnson holds up a paper triumphantly. “It says so right here on your file.” She adjusts her glasses and peruses the file closer. “You applied...seven times. That a mite more than a few.”
Biro shrugged sheepishly. “I just wanted to make sure they got my application.”
“Oh, really? Well, who-”
“What's going on?”
Chuck starts guiltily at the intrusion and looks up to see Col. Sheppard staring in shocked fascination at the screen.
Buzz taps on his earpiece. “Col. Johnson? Col. Sheppard is here.”
“Oh, that's okay,” Says Col. Johnson brightly on the screen. “I'm sure with Col. Sheppard here, we can get this all straightened out in a jiffy.” She waves her hand at the door. “Come on in, Colonel.”
“Guess that's my cue,” Col. Sheppard saunters off.
A moment later, Chuck sees him show up on the monitors.
“Colonel Sheppard!” Col. Johnson gestures for him to sit in the seat next to her. “Did you realize Dr. Biro used to work in the main labs next to the infirmary? She was next in line to become Head of Medicine, did you know that?”
“Uh,” Col. Sheppard does his best impression of a deer caught in the headlights. “Yeah, I, uh, I think I knew that.” He clears his throat. “She was our top candidate until, uh, we reviewed Dr. Keller.”
“Oh,” Col. Johnson quirks her lips thoughtfully. “Well, what did Dr. Keller have that Dr. Biro didn't? She can't have been more experienced; she's awfully young to be a doctor.”
Col. Sheppard darts a wary, almost guilty glance towards Dr. Biro. “Actually, she was more experienced. She'd spent all of her adult career working with the medical staff at Stargate Command, whereas Dr. Biro's experience was a little more varied and not quite as focused on...practical medicine.”
“But accordin' to my notes, she'd only been here for...” Col. Johnson consults her notes “three months before she became Head of Medicine. Three months ain't long to get to know everyone on a base this big. What made you think she'd be any good as a leader?”
Col. Sheppard very carefully doesn't look Dr. Biro in the eye. “Dr. Keller had more of a...leader-like personality. Given our unique circumstances here in Atlantis, we felt that overall she was the better choice.”
Dr. Biro bites her lip and looks down.
“Oh,” Col. Johnson taps her lips. “Well, thank you, Colonel. That's all I needed to know.”
“Wait. What?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Col. Johnson smiles and makes a shooing gesture with her hand. “Toodle on, now. Go on.”
Slightly, confused Col. Sheppard gets up and leaves.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Col. Johnson turns to Dr. Biro sympathetically. “Well, that was just unkind of him. Tellin' you that you were 'bout as useful as a ballerina at rodeo.” She tsked disapprovingly. “If I'd been in charge back then, I surely would've let you lead the medical department.”
“It's not that bad,” says Dr. Biro, with a shaky, crooked upward turn of her lips. “I mean, Dr. Weir and Col. Sheppard clearly chose who they thought was the best person for the job, so I guess it all worked out.”
“That's awful sweet and forgivin' of you,” Col. Johnson says and there's something about the way she says it that sends a shiver down Chuck's spine. “I mean, at least she allowed you to work on all the projects you wanted to right? Well, except for this last one regarding Dr. Beckett...”
“What'd I miss?” Asks Col. Sheppard, adjusting his earpiece. “Private channel what?”
“Seven,” mutters Chuck distractedly. “I think...”
“That job should've been mine!” Dr. Biro slaps her hand down on the table suddenly, red-faced, teary-eyed and angry. “Carson was going to give it to me! That hussy wasn't even in the running until she slept with someone over at Stargate Command and they sent her over to Atlantis to avoid the lawsuit!”
“On top of all that,” Col. Johnson continues soothingly, as if Dr. Biro's outburst hadn't happened, “after stepping in and taking away the job that you had worked so hard to get, after all that humiliation, she wouldn't even let you help your friend out when he needed it the most.”
Biro takes a shaky, sobbing breath. “I had the expertise needed to save Carson. I have worked with cellular degradation longer than that girl has even been alive.” She laughs bitterly. “My whole field is dedicated to the study of cellular degradation. You tell me why I shouldn't be allowed to help save my friend!”
“So you decided to get her out of the way. So that you could save your friend.” Col. Johnson says encouragingly. “You decided to poison Dr. Keller. You had access to her medical file and so you knew she was deathly allergic to celery, didn't you?”
Biro nods and her face crumples up as she tries to hold back her tears. “I stole celery seeds from Botany and put them in her coffee. She says she takes it black, so she can concentrate better.” She chokes a laugh. “Like what you drink in the morning has anything to do with what kind of a doctor you are. Carson drank a cup of tea every morning with milk and three sugars and I never heard anyone complaining about his medical skills.” Her voice trembles and she turns desperate eyes on Col. Johnson. “I could save him, but she wouldn't give me a chance! Don't you understand?! Time is running out and I have to act now!”
“I understand,” says Col. Johnson, quietly, but firmly. “You wanted to save your friend.” She shakes her head. “But tryin' to save one life doesn't justify tryin' take another.”
Col. Johnson looks directly into one of the cameras. “She's all yours, Colonel.”
“Uh, right,” Col. Sheppard shakes himself out of his dazed state and heads back into the conference room. As he walks on screen, Chuck hears, “Dr. Emily Biro, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Jennifer Keller. In compliance with IOA regulations, you are allowed the right to not speak. However, if you do speak, your words may be used as evidence against you in a court of law...”
Chuck taps off his earpiece and feels his respect for Col. Johnson multiplying at a considerable rate. “Wow. That was...wow.”
Buzz nods in agreement. “I don't think I really want to get on her bad side.”
“Yeah,” Chuck sits back and thinks. Something flashes on his monitor and he taps a key to get a better look. “Huh,” he turns to Buzz. “Did you know Daniels and Gabriel were dating?”
4. Penny
“...We're so glad you've come here, welcome to At-lan-tis!
Doctors! Soldiers! Robots! Space vamps!
Welcome to At-lan-tis!”*
Penny claps her hands together in glee. “Oh thank you, guys! Thank you, so much!”
She turns to Teyla. “Are they always this welcoming?”
Teyla smiles. “I have found the members of this expedition to be quite open,” she says. “But I must admit, they are usually not this...animated.”
“That's too bad,” Penny says with, what-can-you-do-shrug. “Everyone looks better when they're happy.”
“Have anyone shown you around at Atlantis yet?” Asks Teyla.
“No, not yet,” Penny gestures around them. “It's all so beautiful, and I'd love to get a better look at it, but I've been so busy... Would you mind?”
“It would be my pleasure,” Teyla assures her.
“Thank you!”
“Over there, are the gymnasiums.” Teyla points out to Penny as they walk along. “At most hours of the day, there are usually Marines in there training.” As if to prove her point, as they walk past the gyms, Teyla sees Marines involved in surprisingly choreographed exercise routines and hears:
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!”
“It appears Captain Hammer is fitting in well.” Teyla is amused and more than a little pleased, but not surprised.
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!”
Penny follows her gaze and grins. “Good for him. I know how much he likes to be a role model.”
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!
Use those mighty ham-mer fists!”
On cue, Captain Hammer strikes a dramatic pose, with his fists to the sky.
“I think he-” Teyla turns at the sound of the scientists down the hall welcoming their new arrival.
"Hor-ri-ble, Hor-ri-ble,
Is an evil mad scientist guy.”
Dr. Horrible does not seem unpleased with the assessment.
“Creates freeze rays, death beams too.
Turns his enemies into goo.
Beware! He holds a doctorate!”
“In horribleness!” Dr. Horrible points out with flair.
“Yeah, well, I hold a Ph.D in Astrophysics,” Rodney mutters, not exactly quietly. Teyla and Penny can hear him from where they're standing in the entrance to the science labs. “and in Nuclear Chemistry.”
“But can you bounce Wonderflonium?” asks Dr. Horrible.
“What? I-I...” Rodney sputters. “Nobody can bounce Wonderflonium! Bouncing Wonderflonium is tantamount to killing yourself and taking the whole world with you!”
Dr. Horrible smirks triumphantly. “I can!”
“That's impossible! There's no way!”
Teyla turns to Penny who looks amused at the whole exchange. “I think we should leave them alone until they get better acquainted.”
“I agree,” says Penny. Her stomach rumbles and she blushes. “I'm sorry, I'm a little hungry. You wouldn't happen to know if the mess has frozen yogurt, would you?”
“I'm not sure,” Teyla admits, “But I would be happy to find out with you.”
“Great!” Penny smiles.
“I must confess,” Says Teyla, “you are not exactly what I had pictured when I was told about the new commander of Atlantis.”
Penny nods understandingly, “You want to know how I got involved?”
“If you don't mind.”
“Oh,” Penny shrugs modestly. “I didn't really do anything. All I did was suggest to the Evil League of Evil and the Good Alliance of Good that they might want to temporarily join forces to prevent the Wraith from taking over our corner of the galaxy.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and smiles sheepishly. “Since I had a friend on each side, it was a pretty easy sell. It almost felt like I was cheating. I think IOA sent me out here to maintain the peace between the two sides and make sure nobody gets hurt.”
“Negotiating a treaty between two opposing sides is no easy task,” Teyla tells her. “In my opinion, the IOA did well to send you out here.”
“I hope so,” Penny says. “I figure trying to stop humanity's destruction from the Wraith and trying to further exploration in a distant galaxy can't be as difficult as trying to get good and evil to work together.”
*- The part of the tune that the lyrics fit to is at 2:00, but feel free to enjoy the entire song. :)
5. Colonel Kathryn Janeway
Three months after Colonel Janeway comes aboard, they capture a Wraith...and they don't kill it. Instead, they convert it.
“This is stupid,” Ronon grumbles to Major Chakotay as they walk to the infirmary. “You can't convert a Wraith. We've tried it before and it doesn't work.”
Chakotay shrugs. “The med team thinks they've improved Dr. Beckett's retrovirus. If we can work out a method of dealing with them that doesn't involve mass genocide on either side, I think we should give it a shot.”
Ronon shakes his head. “It won't work.”
Colonel Janeway is speaking with The Wraith when they enter. “What is your name?” She asks.
The Wraith blinks. “What have you done to me?”
“We've injected you with a retrovirus designed to modify the Iratus portions of your DNA,” says a pale, balding middle-aged doctor with all the tact and humility of McKay. “It won't completely eliminate your more...insect-like characteristics, but it will severely decrease your dependency on humans and should allow your body to consume less controversial means of nutrition.”
“Why have you done this to me?” Asks The Wraith.
“Well, we can't have you eating everyone,” says the doctor, flippantly, like it's obvious. “And we can't let you starve to death either.”
“Sure we can,” Ronon grumbles under his breath. Major Chakotay gives him a warning look, but doesn't reprimand him.
“What's your name?” Janeway tries again.
The Wraith hesitates. “Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One.”
Colonel Janeway smiles. “I'm Colonel Kathryn Janeway, Commander of the Atlantis Expedition. It's a pleasure to meet you, Seven of Nine.”
Ronon storms out and doesn't punch anyone in the face.
Janeway finds out about the incident, because Chakotay has a big mouth, and summons Ronon to her office.
“I hear you have a problem with the newest member of our crew,” she says, like The Wraith is actually a person worth caring about.
“We should kill it, before it decides to kill us.”
Janeway looks almost amused at his bluntness, but doesn't smile. “And why is that?”
“Because it's a Wraith,” Ronon can feel his blood boiling at the very thought. “and there's nothing any one can do to change that. Evil is ingrained into its soul, if it has a soul, and no matter how many chemicals you pump into it, it's still gonna be the same life-sucking heartless creature.”
“I have an entire medical team that begs to differ with you,” says Janeway, looking less amused. “They seem to think that they have disrupted the signal in Seven's brain which causes intense Wraith hunger pangs.”
“They're wrong,” Ronon says and his fists clench in memory. “We did this already with Michael and now we're chasing him across three galaxies.”
“From what I've heard, you never bothered to mention to him that he was a Wraith,” Janeway argues. “He had to figure it out on his own.” She shrugs. “Given the circumstances, I'm not sure I would've acted any differently if I had been in his shoes.”
Ronon snorts. “Fine, then what makes this time any different?”
“We didn't lie to her,” says Janeway. “The first step in any relationship is generating trust and establishing a solid foundation to build on.”
“Whatever,” says Ronon with an angry shrug. “You establish trust. I'll keep an eye on her.”
Something in his voice must tip her off, because her eyes harden and she draws herself up straighter. “Specialist Dex, I order you not lay a hand on Seven, understand?”
“Right,” Ronon rumbles in agreement, because that's what he's supposed to do. “So long as it doesn't give me a reason.”
“No.” Janeway steps up to Ronon and looks him in the squarely in the eye. “You are not, under any circumstances, to harm Seven of Nine, do I make myself clear?”
“She's a Wraith,” Ronon snarls.
“Do I make myself clear?” Janeway repeats and her eyes are sharp like crystals.
Ronon glares. “Yes, ma'am.”
“Good.” Janeway nods decisively and thinks for a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, but just as strong. “Seven of Nine is a Wraith, but she is also a member of this crew and I will not allow any harm to come to any one of them.” She nods again. “Dismissed.”
Sergeant Torres doesn't like the Wraith either. “The only good Wraith is a dead Wraith,” she mutters under her breath and sometimes not under.
“Ah, but what if that Wraith is helping us to kill other Wraith,” argues Captain Paris, with too much of a smile to be serious. “Doesn't the good outweigh the bad?”
Torres glares at him. “No.”
“Admit it,” teases Paris. “You don't care that she's Wraith; you just care that she's as stubborn as you are.”
Torres snarls something unpleasant about pilots leaving their heads in the sky and storms off.
Paris tosses Ronon a grin. “She likes me.”
Ronon grunts. “Whatever.”
In the end, it's not the fact that they have a Wraith on board that screws them over (although Ronon's still not convinced she's completely innocent on that count); it's the fact that they tried to fly the city and bumped into a planet-size creature that disliked being woken up from a deep-sleep.
McKay swallows nervously and pales. “We've just been thrown over 75,000 light years from our last position....I have no idea where we are.”
“Does the Stargate still work?” Asks Sheppard.
“I-I don't...” McKay pushes Lt. Kim out of the way and frantically presses dials. “No...I...No! We're, we're completely cut off. We're completely isolated.” He looks up nervously and laughs sickly. “I don't even know where we are!”
“How are our shields holding up?” asks Colonel Janeway.
“Well, they're fine considering everything,” Rodney admits, breathlessly. “but...”
Janeway taps a finger to her lips thoughtfully. “And our structural integrity?”
“Not the greatest, but it has seen worse days.”
“Life support?”
“Again, not the greatest, but it'll work for now. Look, Colonel, I'm not sure what you're getting at, but-”
“I'm trying to see if we can go home.”
“Excuse me?!” Squeaks McKay and even Sheppard looks a little unnerved. “I-I...we can't...are you serious?!
Colonel Janeway raises an eyebrow. “Do we have any other options?”
“Is there any way we could be found by the Daedalus?” Asks Teyla, who is taking this surprisingly well.
Rodney shakes his head. “I...not unless they knew which direction we were tossed.”
“Couldn't we just set us base on some water planet and dial home?” Asks Sheppard, just a little on the hopeful side.
“We're 75,000 light years from our last position, Colonel!” Sheppard stares at Rodney blankly. Rodney rolls his eyes. “That's more than twice the distance our Stargate can reach with our current power supply.”
“So, we're stuck out here.” Ronon looks over at Rodney to confirm.
Rodney squinches up his face in protestation, but doesn't disagree.
“Well then, it appears we'll have to find our own way home.” Colonel Janeway shakes her head and the corners of her lips turn up in an ironic sort of smile. “Gentlemen, this isn't the first time I've been stuck 75,000 light years from home.” Her eyes sparkle with an adventurous glint that somehow, despite the Wraith on board and the sheer hopeless feeling of being lost, reassures Ronon more than he thinks it should. “Lay in a course for us, Dr. McKay. Let's go home.”
McKay mutters a sarcastic, “Aye-aye, Captain.”
Ronon leans back, grins, and thinks that everything might turn out alright after all.
~Fin~
Crossovers in order: The Pretender, House, The Closer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Star Trek: Voyager
Author: teh_bug
Words: ~5,000
Pairing: Gen with (mostly) canonical pairing hints thrown in.
Rating: PG
Notes: Er, certain canons and/or people's ranks have been stretched (in some places more than others) to fit the crossovers. I apologize in advance for any mistakes that may have occurred in the process if stretching canons. However, if I did make a mistake not related to the stretching of canons, please point it out to me, so that I don't make it again. =)
1. Miss Parker
“Rodney, I'm pretty sure she can't steal your soul just by looking into your eyes.”
Rodney pauses mid-rant to turn and glare at John. “Have you ever looked into her eyes?”
Well, no, not technically, there's no use in taking unnecessary risks, but still. “Miss Parker's been on base for three weeks already, if it were possible for her to steal our souls, she would've done so by now.” John points out.
Rodney snorts. “Tried talking to Zelenka recently?”
Someone coughs a laugh behind him and John turns to see the new Belgium psychologist two tables over reading a book and discreetly tucking a smile away behind his fist.
“And have you ever noticed how it's Miss Parker?” continues Rodney starting into Rant #37, or as John likes to think of it, Yet-Another-Reason-Why-The Evil-Stiletto-Heel-Wearing-Dictator-Is-Unfit-For-Duty. “Miss Parker. Not Doctor or Colonel or heaven-forbid Ms. It's like she gets a kick out of broadcasting how unqualified and excruciatingly single she is.”
“I-I'm sure it's not entirely like that,” ventures one of the computer technicians, Bruce, or Brutes maybe? “She's probably got a very good reason for getting assigned out here.”
“Yeah, like what?” Rodney shoots back. “She's sleeping with the head of the IOA? Is that it? She got this job because the IOA head is her boyfriend?!”
“Actually,” says a calm crisp voice. “He's my father.”
It's almost hilarious to watch the speed at which the blood drains out of Rodney's face. “Miss Parker,” Rodney swallows, “I-I wasn't expecting to see you...here, that is, I mean, of course I expected to see you around the base, because you are in charge after all, and...and.”
“My office, now,” snaps Miss Parker and turns to leave.
“I...I...” protests Rodney weakly, looking around the table for support.
“Now!”
Twenty minutes later, Rodney staggers into Lab 1, shell-shocked and pale, and promptly collapses at his desk.
“You okay there, buddy?” Asks John, who was totally not hanging around the Lab idly waiting to hear the fallout report and putting off paperwork, why do you ask?
Rodney rolls his gaze to John and stares. “I think I understand why she got the job.”
“I'm guessing nepotism had nothing to do with it,” John suggests with a lazy shrug.
Rodney huffs a laugh. “Trust me, in this case, nepotism would be preferable.” He taps on his keyboard and pulls up the duty roster. “She wants me to find a use for Angelo in the labs.”
“Angelo?” John wrinkles his nose. “You mean the creepy guy that doesn't make eye contact and crawls around in the vents all the time?”
Rodney nods. “That's the one.” He waves his hand dismissively. “It'll be fine. I'll just pawn him off on Zelenka.”
“Hey!” Zelenka looks up from his corner of the lab and frowns.
“If it's all the same to you, Dr. McKay, I'd like to work with him,” says a dark-haired scientist. “I have some experience working with people in Angelo's condition.”
“Yes, yes, yes, fine.” Rodney waves another dismissive hand. “You can have him, Dr....whoever you are.”
“It's Dr. Rogers,” the dark-haired scientist says with a bright, easy, smile. “But, please, call me Jarod.”
2. Dr. Lisa Cuddy
“You want to do what?”
“Overhaul the entire mainframe and decrease the power usage in key areas of the city, redirecting the energy from non-essential tasks to more important areas...like the Astrophysics lab.”
Dr. Cuddy levels a long look at Rodney. “By essentially shutting down all of Atlantis' main systems.”
“For just one hour!” Rodney protests. “And then I'll turn them back on and we'll double the power efficiency.”
“And if it doesn't work?”
Rodney looks down and shrugs sheepishly. “Then...we would be at somewhat of a...disadvantage...for an indeterminate amount of time.”
Cuddy smiles quick and tight. “Right. Absolutely not. Next!”
“Oh come on!” argues Rodney. “It's not like I'd be working on it alone. Zelenka would be there too.”
Cuddy visibly bites down on a smile. “You would let Dr. Zelenka help on this?”
“Yes, of course, he could....” Rodney mentally gropes for a task suitable for Zelenka. “He could, you know, hand me tools, get me coffee, things like that.”
The corners of Cuddy lips twitch up. “And Dr. Zelenka agreed with you that this is the best way to move forward?”
“Yes, absolutely.” If by “agreed with”, she meant “had loudly argued that this was the stupidest way to go about things and had repeatedly insisted upon having nothing to do with the project.”
“Mmm-hmmm,” says Dr. Cuddy thoughtfully. “No.”
“But...” Rodney whines.
“Any other questions?”
“Well, no, but...”
“Excellent.” Cuddy pulls a file off the corner of her desk. “Then we're done here. Have a nice day!”
“But...but...” Rodney protests as he walks out of her office. He turns and nearly bumps into a duo of medical staff waiting outside.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” one of them, a scruffy faced doctor with a cane shakes his head disparagingly. “That's no way to get Cuddy over on your side. You have to woo her with sweet words that demonstrate the depths of your respect for her both as a person and as a leader of this fine establishment in the bleak, dark corner of space.” He strides up to her office door and flings it open with flair. “Hello, Dr. Bikini Stuffer! How are your delicate orbs of womanhood feeling today?”
“Get the hell out of my office, House.”
The other doctor, smooth-faced and without a cane, sighs deeply and resigned. “He's normally not this bad. He just...forgot to take his medication this morning...and the morning before that...and the morning before that...”
From behind Cuddy's office door, Rodney hears “Oh my GAWD! A lesbian threesome with Keller and Cameron! Say it ain't so!”
Rodney stares at the door. “For what, the past twenty years?”
The smooth-faced doctor shrugs. “More like the past thirty.”
“Jello shots?! I am APPALLED!”
3. Colonel Brenda Leigh Johnson
Colonel Brenda Leigh Johnson strides into Atlantis on a Monday morning with a bright smile, a huge black purse, and a “Thank you, thank you, very much” in a heavy Southern drawl. She also brings disorganization, an inability to focus on anything but the task at hand, and an unsurprising estrangement from every department she's ever worked with.
Chuck's not impressed. He tries to be, because he's a big believer in not starting out with any assumptions about anyone - a clean slate, new start, etc, etc - but there's just something about her that rubs him the wrong way and he just can't work up the appropriate feelings of respect and admiration that he feels like she should deserve.
(“That's 'cause you're not lookin' at her legs,” Lt. Colonel Flynn mutters around a toothpick.
Dr. Provenza gives him a dirty look.
“What?” Flynn spreads his arms in a defensive shrug. “I'm just sayin'.”)
And then someone tries to kill Dr. Keller by putting celery seeds in her coffee. (Apparently Dr. Keller is deathly allergic to celery. Who knew?) Keller survives, but only just barely and a full-out investigation to determine the culprit is launched.
Within an hour of the attempt, Col. Johnson has eliminated an assassination attempt by the Genii (“They would've been shovin' our noses in it.”), the Wraith (“Much too subtle. 'Sides I think they were raised better than to play with their food.”), or the Asuran (“Take all the trouble to get this far in the base and then do nothing to the insides?”), and is working on systematically crossing off base members based on ability (“Couldn't have been anyone without access to the medical records, which leaves us with all medical personnel and every scientist who knows anything about hacking into computers.”), opportunity (“Check all duty rosters. Let's see who wasn't going anywhere, last night.”) and motive (“She was working on a method of what amounts to mass genocide. I can't imagine that makes her popular in all corners of the world.”) Within four hours, she has two white boards full of theories, three people in interrogation rooms, and five tests being run.
Not that Chuck is actively involved with the investigation or anything. He hears all this from his post in the gate room. It's a pretty good place to be in times of chaos, because almost everybody has to dash past there at one point or another and they're usually talking/ranting at a loud volume about things they really shouldn't be.
In other words, it's gossip central. Especially, if you have a co-conspirator.
“Apparently, it's not Simpson,” Says Sgt. Watson, or Buzz as everyone on base knows him, with a shrug. “She was with her boyfriend at the time.”
“She's dating?” Chuck frowns thoughtfully and takes a sip of coffee. “Who's her boyfriend?”
“Kavanagh.”
Chuck chokes on his coffee and instinctively glances around for Dr. Tao. He too, like Dr. Zelenka, has strong feelings about drinks in close proximity to the 10,000 year old consoles.
“That's how I felt about it too,” Buzz quirks a sympathetic grin. “Don't worry. Last I heard, Tao's down in Engineering collecting bets from the last fight.”
Chuck wipes his mouth and gives one last quick Tao-check. “Oh, who won that round, anyways? I was on duty and I didn't see. Ronon, right?”
“Actually,” Buzz says, “I think Sanchez did.”
Chuck pauses. “Sanchez? Sanchez beat Ronon?!”
“That's what I heard.” Buzz shrugs. “According to the rumors, Sanchez ended up with a broken wrist and Ronon ended up knocked out.”
Well, huh. Yet another reason to avoid Tao. The man was kinda scary when it came to collecting his bets. “I didn't think his arms were long enough-”
“Buzz!” Col. Johnson darts past Chuck in the control station and gestures at Buzz as she walk-runs past. “I need cameras in Conference Room 3, thank you.” She stops, and turns. “Oh, and let me know when Colonel Sheppard gets here, if you please.”
“Right away, Colonel,” Buzz taps at his keyboard and the view of three cameras flash up on his monitor.
Col. Johnson nods distractedly as she leaves the room. “Thank you, thank you so very much.”
Chuck looks over at Buzz in confusion. “What was-?”
Buzz frowns. “I'm not sure.” He taps a few more keys. “She's on private channel 7, if you wanna listen in.”
Chuck changes the frequency on his earpiece and unabashedly looks over Buzz's shoulder at his monitor.
“-- isn't that right, Dr. Biro?” Says Col. Johnson.
Dr. Biro giggles nervously. “I don't know. I'm only a pathologist. I don't usually work with living people.”
“Oh,” Says Col. Johnson sympathetically. “That's a pity, because you have such a lovely personality.”
“Thank you,” Dr. Biro tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and twists her lips into an awkward smile. “So, um, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh, I just need you to clarify a few things for me,” Col. Johnson pulls out a couple of files from her big black bag and rifles through one of them. “I have here that you were working the morning when Dr. Keller was poisoned? Is that right?”
“That's right,” Biro nods and folds her hands together. “I was down in the pathology lab.”
“I see,” Col. Johnson peers over her file thoughtfully. “And where is that again? It's kinda embarrassin' to admit, but I'm still not entirely sure where everything is around here.”
“It's right past the infirmary.” Biro demonstrates with her hands. “You take a left just after genetics, walk past the infirmary, and it's the third door on your right.”
“Oh!” Col. Johnson smiles brightly. “I know where that is! Why that's the little ol' room, next to the morgue, isn't it?”
“Yeah,” Biro forces a sickly smile. “That's the one.”
Col. Johnson frowns, confused. “That's such a small room. I'd think a highly respected doctor, like yourself, would want to work in one of the bigger labs or maybe in the infirmary.”
Biro's sickly smile wavers. “I do. I, uh, applied a few times to be moved to a different lab.”
“Oh, that's right!” Col. Johnson holds up a paper triumphantly. “It says so right here on your file.” She adjusts her glasses and peruses the file closer. “You applied...seven times. That a mite more than a few.”
Biro shrugged sheepishly. “I just wanted to make sure they got my application.”
“Oh, really? Well, who-”
“What's going on?”
Chuck starts guiltily at the intrusion and looks up to see Col. Sheppard staring in shocked fascination at the screen.
Buzz taps on his earpiece. “Col. Johnson? Col. Sheppard is here.”
“Oh, that's okay,” Says Col. Johnson brightly on the screen. “I'm sure with Col. Sheppard here, we can get this all straightened out in a jiffy.” She waves her hand at the door. “Come on in, Colonel.”
“Guess that's my cue,” Col. Sheppard saunters off.
A moment later, Chuck sees him show up on the monitors.
“Colonel Sheppard!” Col. Johnson gestures for him to sit in the seat next to her. “Did you realize Dr. Biro used to work in the main labs next to the infirmary? She was next in line to become Head of Medicine, did you know that?”
“Uh,” Col. Sheppard does his best impression of a deer caught in the headlights. “Yeah, I, uh, I think I knew that.” He clears his throat. “She was our top candidate until, uh, we reviewed Dr. Keller.”
“Oh,” Col. Johnson quirks her lips thoughtfully. “Well, what did Dr. Keller have that Dr. Biro didn't? She can't have been more experienced; she's awfully young to be a doctor.”
Col. Sheppard darts a wary, almost guilty glance towards Dr. Biro. “Actually, she was more experienced. She'd spent all of her adult career working with the medical staff at Stargate Command, whereas Dr. Biro's experience was a little more varied and not quite as focused on...practical medicine.”
“But accordin' to my notes, she'd only been here for...” Col. Johnson consults her notes “three months before she became Head of Medicine. Three months ain't long to get to know everyone on a base this big. What made you think she'd be any good as a leader?”
Col. Sheppard very carefully doesn't look Dr. Biro in the eye. “Dr. Keller had more of a...leader-like personality. Given our unique circumstances here in Atlantis, we felt that overall she was the better choice.”
Dr. Biro bites her lip and looks down.
“Oh,” Col. Johnson taps her lips. “Well, thank you, Colonel. That's all I needed to know.”
“Wait. What?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Col. Johnson smiles and makes a shooing gesture with her hand. “Toodle on, now. Go on.”
Slightly, confused Col. Sheppard gets up and leaves.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Col. Johnson turns to Dr. Biro sympathetically. “Well, that was just unkind of him. Tellin' you that you were 'bout as useful as a ballerina at rodeo.” She tsked disapprovingly. “If I'd been in charge back then, I surely would've let you lead the medical department.”
“It's not that bad,” says Dr. Biro, with a shaky, crooked upward turn of her lips. “I mean, Dr. Weir and Col. Sheppard clearly chose who they thought was the best person for the job, so I guess it all worked out.”
“That's awful sweet and forgivin' of you,” Col. Johnson says and there's something about the way she says it that sends a shiver down Chuck's spine. “I mean, at least she allowed you to work on all the projects you wanted to right? Well, except for this last one regarding Dr. Beckett...”
“What'd I miss?” Asks Col. Sheppard, adjusting his earpiece. “Private channel what?”
“Seven,” mutters Chuck distractedly. “I think...”
“That job should've been mine!” Dr. Biro slaps her hand down on the table suddenly, red-faced, teary-eyed and angry. “Carson was going to give it to me! That hussy wasn't even in the running until she slept with someone over at Stargate Command and they sent her over to Atlantis to avoid the lawsuit!”
“On top of all that,” Col. Johnson continues soothingly, as if Dr. Biro's outburst hadn't happened, “after stepping in and taking away the job that you had worked so hard to get, after all that humiliation, she wouldn't even let you help your friend out when he needed it the most.”
Biro takes a shaky, sobbing breath. “I had the expertise needed to save Carson. I have worked with cellular degradation longer than that girl has even been alive.” She laughs bitterly. “My whole field is dedicated to the study of cellular degradation. You tell me why I shouldn't be allowed to help save my friend!”
“So you decided to get her out of the way. So that you could save your friend.” Col. Johnson says encouragingly. “You decided to poison Dr. Keller. You had access to her medical file and so you knew she was deathly allergic to celery, didn't you?”
Biro nods and her face crumples up as she tries to hold back her tears. “I stole celery seeds from Botany and put them in her coffee. She says she takes it black, so she can concentrate better.” She chokes a laugh. “Like what you drink in the morning has anything to do with what kind of a doctor you are. Carson drank a cup of tea every morning with milk and three sugars and I never heard anyone complaining about his medical skills.” Her voice trembles and she turns desperate eyes on Col. Johnson. “I could save him, but she wouldn't give me a chance! Don't you understand?! Time is running out and I have to act now!”
“I understand,” says Col. Johnson, quietly, but firmly. “You wanted to save your friend.” She shakes her head. “But tryin' to save one life doesn't justify tryin' take another.”
Col. Johnson looks directly into one of the cameras. “She's all yours, Colonel.”
“Uh, right,” Col. Sheppard shakes himself out of his dazed state and heads back into the conference room. As he walks on screen, Chuck hears, “Dr. Emily Biro, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Jennifer Keller. In compliance with IOA regulations, you are allowed the right to not speak. However, if you do speak, your words may be used as evidence against you in a court of law...”
Chuck taps off his earpiece and feels his respect for Col. Johnson multiplying at a considerable rate. “Wow. That was...wow.”
Buzz nods in agreement. “I don't think I really want to get on her bad side.”
“Yeah,” Chuck sits back and thinks. Something flashes on his monitor and he taps a key to get a better look. “Huh,” he turns to Buzz. “Did you know Daniels and Gabriel were dating?”
4. Penny
“...We're so glad you've come here, welcome to At-lan-tis!
Doctors! Soldiers! Robots! Space vamps!
Welcome to At-lan-tis!”*
Penny claps her hands together in glee. “Oh thank you, guys! Thank you, so much!”
She turns to Teyla. “Are they always this welcoming?”
Teyla smiles. “I have found the members of this expedition to be quite open,” she says. “But I must admit, they are usually not this...animated.”
“That's too bad,” Penny says with, what-can-you-do-shrug. “Everyone looks better when they're happy.”
“Have anyone shown you around at Atlantis yet?” Asks Teyla.
“No, not yet,” Penny gestures around them. “It's all so beautiful, and I'd love to get a better look at it, but I've been so busy... Would you mind?”
“It would be my pleasure,” Teyla assures her.
“Thank you!”
“Over there, are the gymnasiums.” Teyla points out to Penny as they walk along. “At most hours of the day, there are usually Marines in there training.” As if to prove her point, as they walk past the gyms, Teyla sees Marines involved in surprisingly choreographed exercise routines and hears:
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!”
“It appears Captain Hammer is fitting in well.” Teyla is amused and more than a little pleased, but not surprised.
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!”
Penny follows her gaze and grins. “Good for him. I know how much he likes to be a role model.”
“Go, go, go Captain Hammer!
Use those mighty ham-mer fists!”
On cue, Captain Hammer strikes a dramatic pose, with his fists to the sky.
“I think he-” Teyla turns at the sound of the scientists down the hall welcoming their new arrival.
"Hor-ri-ble, Hor-ri-ble,
Is an evil mad scientist guy.”
Dr. Horrible does not seem unpleased with the assessment.
“Creates freeze rays, death beams too.
Turns his enemies into goo.
Beware! He holds a doctorate!”
“In horribleness!” Dr. Horrible points out with flair.
“Yeah, well, I hold a Ph.D in Astrophysics,” Rodney mutters, not exactly quietly. Teyla and Penny can hear him from where they're standing in the entrance to the science labs. “and in Nuclear Chemistry.”
“But can you bounce Wonderflonium?” asks Dr. Horrible.
“What? I-I...” Rodney sputters. “Nobody can bounce Wonderflonium! Bouncing Wonderflonium is tantamount to killing yourself and taking the whole world with you!”
Dr. Horrible smirks triumphantly. “I can!”
“That's impossible! There's no way!”
Teyla turns to Penny who looks amused at the whole exchange. “I think we should leave them alone until they get better acquainted.”
“I agree,” says Penny. Her stomach rumbles and she blushes. “I'm sorry, I'm a little hungry. You wouldn't happen to know if the mess has frozen yogurt, would you?”
“I'm not sure,” Teyla admits, “But I would be happy to find out with you.”
“Great!” Penny smiles.
“I must confess,” Says Teyla, “you are not exactly what I had pictured when I was told about the new commander of Atlantis.”
Penny nods understandingly, “You want to know how I got involved?”
“If you don't mind.”
“Oh,” Penny shrugs modestly. “I didn't really do anything. All I did was suggest to the Evil League of Evil and the Good Alliance of Good that they might want to temporarily join forces to prevent the Wraith from taking over our corner of the galaxy.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and smiles sheepishly. “Since I had a friend on each side, it was a pretty easy sell. It almost felt like I was cheating. I think IOA sent me out here to maintain the peace between the two sides and make sure nobody gets hurt.”
“Negotiating a treaty between two opposing sides is no easy task,” Teyla tells her. “In my opinion, the IOA did well to send you out here.”
“I hope so,” Penny says. “I figure trying to stop humanity's destruction from the Wraith and trying to further exploration in a distant galaxy can't be as difficult as trying to get good and evil to work together.”
*- The part of the tune that the lyrics fit to is at 2:00, but feel free to enjoy the entire song. :)
5. Colonel Kathryn Janeway
Three months after Colonel Janeway comes aboard, they capture a Wraith...and they don't kill it. Instead, they convert it.
“This is stupid,” Ronon grumbles to Major Chakotay as they walk to the infirmary. “You can't convert a Wraith. We've tried it before and it doesn't work.”
Chakotay shrugs. “The med team thinks they've improved Dr. Beckett's retrovirus. If we can work out a method of dealing with them that doesn't involve mass genocide on either side, I think we should give it a shot.”
Ronon shakes his head. “It won't work.”
Colonel Janeway is speaking with The Wraith when they enter. “What is your name?” She asks.
The Wraith blinks. “What have you done to me?”
“We've injected you with a retrovirus designed to modify the Iratus portions of your DNA,” says a pale, balding middle-aged doctor with all the tact and humility of McKay. “It won't completely eliminate your more...insect-like characteristics, but it will severely decrease your dependency on humans and should allow your body to consume less controversial means of nutrition.”
“Why have you done this to me?” Asks The Wraith.
“Well, we can't have you eating everyone,” says the doctor, flippantly, like it's obvious. “And we can't let you starve to death either.”
“Sure we can,” Ronon grumbles under his breath. Major Chakotay gives him a warning look, but doesn't reprimand him.
“What's your name?” Janeway tries again.
The Wraith hesitates. “Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One.”
Colonel Janeway smiles. “I'm Colonel Kathryn Janeway, Commander of the Atlantis Expedition. It's a pleasure to meet you, Seven of Nine.”
Ronon storms out and doesn't punch anyone in the face.
Janeway finds out about the incident, because Chakotay has a big mouth, and summons Ronon to her office.
“I hear you have a problem with the newest member of our crew,” she says, like The Wraith is actually a person worth caring about.
“We should kill it, before it decides to kill us.”
Janeway looks almost amused at his bluntness, but doesn't smile. “And why is that?”
“Because it's a Wraith,” Ronon can feel his blood boiling at the very thought. “and there's nothing any one can do to change that. Evil is ingrained into its soul, if it has a soul, and no matter how many chemicals you pump into it, it's still gonna be the same life-sucking heartless creature.”
“I have an entire medical team that begs to differ with you,” says Janeway, looking less amused. “They seem to think that they have disrupted the signal in Seven's brain which causes intense Wraith hunger pangs.”
“They're wrong,” Ronon says and his fists clench in memory. “We did this already with Michael and now we're chasing him across three galaxies.”
“From what I've heard, you never bothered to mention to him that he was a Wraith,” Janeway argues. “He had to figure it out on his own.” She shrugs. “Given the circumstances, I'm not sure I would've acted any differently if I had been in his shoes.”
Ronon snorts. “Fine, then what makes this time any different?”
“We didn't lie to her,” says Janeway. “The first step in any relationship is generating trust and establishing a solid foundation to build on.”
“Whatever,” says Ronon with an angry shrug. “You establish trust. I'll keep an eye on her.”
Something in his voice must tip her off, because her eyes harden and she draws herself up straighter. “Specialist Dex, I order you not lay a hand on Seven, understand?”
“Right,” Ronon rumbles in agreement, because that's what he's supposed to do. “So long as it doesn't give me a reason.”
“No.” Janeway steps up to Ronon and looks him in the squarely in the eye. “You are not, under any circumstances, to harm Seven of Nine, do I make myself clear?”
“She's a Wraith,” Ronon snarls.
“Do I make myself clear?” Janeway repeats and her eyes are sharp like crystals.
Ronon glares. “Yes, ma'am.”
“Good.” Janeway nods decisively and thinks for a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, but just as strong. “Seven of Nine is a Wraith, but she is also a member of this crew and I will not allow any harm to come to any one of them.” She nods again. “Dismissed.”
Sergeant Torres doesn't like the Wraith either. “The only good Wraith is a dead Wraith,” she mutters under her breath and sometimes not under.
“Ah, but what if that Wraith is helping us to kill other Wraith,” argues Captain Paris, with too much of a smile to be serious. “Doesn't the good outweigh the bad?”
Torres glares at him. “No.”
“Admit it,” teases Paris. “You don't care that she's Wraith; you just care that she's as stubborn as you are.”
Torres snarls something unpleasant about pilots leaving their heads in the sky and storms off.
Paris tosses Ronon a grin. “She likes me.”
Ronon grunts. “Whatever.”
In the end, it's not the fact that they have a Wraith on board that screws them over (although Ronon's still not convinced she's completely innocent on that count); it's the fact that they tried to fly the city and bumped into a planet-size creature that disliked being woken up from a deep-sleep.
McKay swallows nervously and pales. “We've just been thrown over 75,000 light years from our last position....I have no idea where we are.”
“Does the Stargate still work?” Asks Sheppard.
“I-I don't...” McKay pushes Lt. Kim out of the way and frantically presses dials. “No...I...No! We're, we're completely cut off. We're completely isolated.” He looks up nervously and laughs sickly. “I don't even know where we are!”
“How are our shields holding up?” asks Colonel Janeway.
“Well, they're fine considering everything,” Rodney admits, breathlessly. “but...”
Janeway taps a finger to her lips thoughtfully. “And our structural integrity?”
“Not the greatest, but it has seen worse days.”
“Life support?”
“Again, not the greatest, but it'll work for now. Look, Colonel, I'm not sure what you're getting at, but-”
“I'm trying to see if we can go home.”
“Excuse me?!” Squeaks McKay and even Sheppard looks a little unnerved. “I-I...we can't...are you serious?!
Colonel Janeway raises an eyebrow. “Do we have any other options?”
“Is there any way we could be found by the Daedalus?” Asks Teyla, who is taking this surprisingly well.
Rodney shakes his head. “I...not unless they knew which direction we were tossed.”
“Couldn't we just set us base on some water planet and dial home?” Asks Sheppard, just a little on the hopeful side.
“We're 75,000 light years from our last position, Colonel!” Sheppard stares at Rodney blankly. Rodney rolls his eyes. “That's more than twice the distance our Stargate can reach with our current power supply.”
“So, we're stuck out here.” Ronon looks over at Rodney to confirm.
Rodney squinches up his face in protestation, but doesn't disagree.
“Well then, it appears we'll have to find our own way home.” Colonel Janeway shakes her head and the corners of her lips turn up in an ironic sort of smile. “Gentlemen, this isn't the first time I've been stuck 75,000 light years from home.” Her eyes sparkle with an adventurous glint that somehow, despite the Wraith on board and the sheer hopeless feeling of being lost, reassures Ronon more than he thinks it should. “Lay in a course for us, Dr. McKay. Let's go home.”
McKay mutters a sarcastic, “Aye-aye, Captain.”
Ronon leans back, grins, and thinks that everything might turn out alright after all.
~Fin~
Crossovers in order: The Pretender, House, The Closer, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Star Trek: Voyager