RESULTS FOR LFWS #4 ROUND 2

[x_erikah_x]

All votes are counted and voting for the Last Fic Writer Standing 4 Round 2 is closed. All authors are now revealed and the feedback to the individual posts are unscreened. These fics are now released to be posted elsewhere by the respective authors.

Comments

[rangerbaldwin]

I would please like my crit and unscreened is just fine. Thank you to everyone who participated and voted.

Rangerbaldwin

[x_erikah_x]

"There are places where the narrative felt a little disjointed. Combining some of the small sentences together would probably have helped it seem smoother."
"The opening paragraph, once more (as in most of the fic this round), could have been more descriptive than didactic. Even with a low word count, it's possible to pull the reader into the action of the story. Show don't tell is a good writers' maxim. The characters in the story waver on occasion, at times I can 'hear' them, at other times not, but the whole story is endearing, especially McKay's awkwardness with the child."
"A nice, complete story. Very typical of the team to risk themselves to help others. I liked Rodney’s line at the end . It was very much something Rodney would say."
"Loved how the Team all went out to help when they figured out what Rodney was doing. Very in character and good use of the prompt."
"Both the beginning and the ending are very abrupt. The middle part was good, save for a few inconsistencies (some lines seem suddenly OOC and out of place etc."

[schneefink]

Congrats to the winners. I´d like my concrit please, unscreened is fine.

[x_erikah_x]

"The narrative was well written, with an interesting POV of the team offworld and just the right amount of creepiness that built up nicely along the way

[x_erikah_x]

Sorry, it was a typo. I'm fixing now.

[stella_pegasi]

Congrats to the winners!! I would love to have my comments, unscreened is fine!.

[x_erikah_x]

"An interesting take on the man vs nature theme, and one that I felt was well handled."
"Please show me the opening of the story... perhaps the entire first paragraph could have been worked in with the second to make the text read less like a lecture. Perhaps it was the low word count that restricted what could have been a descriptive story, but I would have preferred more than to just be told straight. There is little sense of urgency in this, despite the constant mention of time. Perhaps giving us more insight into the viewpoint characters emotions might have helped with this."
"Well written. Told a complete story with a good level of tension and drama. Characterization was excellent."
"fireball rain was very original. add the good description of the surrounding, the teamwork, and the kicking last line by McKay, a fine job well done"

[stella_pegasi]

OK...x_erikah_x...I almost couldn't concentrate enough to read my comments because of that hunky icon thingy!! Give me strength!

Thanks to all who commented and I have to say, as I read through everyones comments, I get such a kick out of seeing how people interpret the exact same thing so differently. It's really cool to see how truly different we are and how different we perceive things. As they say, one man's trash...another man's treasure.

By the way, have I told you all that I hate word count limits!!!!

See ya next round!!

[x_erikah_x]

Heh. It's interesting. Sometimes the very thing that makes someone like a story is the very same thing that makes someone else dislike it.

Hard concentrating? Why? lol

[drewandian]

thank you and congrats to the other winners!

I'd love my comments please, unscreened is fine!

[x_erikah_x]

"At last, a story that shows me what's going on right from the first words through to the last. The execution could be neater in places, but on the whole the story is well delivered."
"Great team fic with good descriptions. It fit the prompt well."
"Nice drama. I enjoyed the team working together to make it through."
"First, let me say this; selecting a title is a difficult thing. The title of this story is horrid in my opinion…campy, sarcastic, pun-intended, those are some of the ways to play with a title. This was not. Well written with descriptive imagery, the story placed the team in danger. However, the sparseness of dialogue did not give a strong voice to that danger. While reading, I recognized the danger but I didn’t necessarily feel it. The story lacked the impact that would have made it excellent."
"Good and vivid descriptions, no unnecessary details, jumps straight to the interesting part and has a good Teyla POV."