Title: The Word's Between
Author:
sonotgoingtherePairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Recipient:
misaladySpoilers: "Tao of Rodney"
Summary: It hard to keep silent when you talk a lot.
Author's Note: Kink:Dirty Talk, hope you like it!!
Many have said that Rodney couldn't control his mouth if his life depended on it.
They were wrong. With consistent effort Rodney had learned to have complete control over the words coming out of his mouth. His voice was a tool and a weapon honed by long years of use.
It was incredibly effective in bed.
Rodney had become an expert at dirty talk. He'd studied it like any of his crafts and was a master at inflaming his lovers with words. He could have his lover's begging for release from the other side of the room.
John loved it.
They'd been 'friends with benefits' for the past few months. Since the whole mess when the Ancient machine had turned him into Super Rodney.
Rodney sat unmoving in his chair after his first day back in the labs, too exhausted to sleep, when John came in to shoo him off to bed.
"Come on Rodney, time for all good little scientists to get some sleep," John had said semi-jokingly.
"Nothing short of having my brain sucked out through my dick is going to get me to sleep after the last few days," had been Rodney's rapid fire reply.
John had huffed out a breath and herded Rodney to his room. Then, John had opened his belt, pulled his pants and boxers off his cock while Rodney was too stunned to object, and proceed to lick the head of his cock with slurpy determination.
Rodney came embarrassingly fast. He'd made up for it by tugging on John's cock fast and a bit rough.
They'd fallen asleep together, John's head on Rodney stomach.
Since then they'd been infrequently meeting for 'Chess' in Rodney's quarters. He'd discovered John's kink for dirty talk shortly after.
John particularly liked it when Rodney used the word 'Fuck' or any variation thereof.
Wasn't that a power trip? A naked John Sheppard was a thing of beauty. A naked John Sheppard moaning and rubbing against him was indescribably beautiful.
The sex was fantastic. They were great friends without the sex. Rodney couldn't ask for a better fuck buddy.
He wanted more. He wanted John in his life for more than just great sex. He wanted to be more than just great friends who had great sex.
He was in love with John. The words sat on the tip of his tongue, damned behind his teeth when John walked in the room, pushing to come out, begging to be said, demanding to be voiced.
It would happen at the strangest times. Rodney would look up from his lunch and almost say it.
Rodney's love life was littered with examples of his poor timing when it came to saying those three little words.
So short. So Simple. So devastating.
The worst was when they were alone together. The words became ever more insistent, persistent. Rodney was afraid to talk dirty to John now. He was afraid he would slip up and say something he couldn't take back or laugh off.
He was afraid John was say the words he dreaded - 'it's been fun Rodney, but...'
He couldn't take that chance. He may never get more out of John than stolen time together, but it was worth more to him than years with anyone else would be.
John mattered.
He'd managed to control it. He'd sacrificed his kinkier side and John had looked at him funny after the last few times they'd been together, but he'd kept the words as they should be - unspoken.
Intranet messaging had foiled his plans.
THEColonel: you seem awful quiet of late Rodney
ThisisotnotheDoctoryou'relookinggfor: What, quiet? When exactly have I ever been quiet? Or has you're age defiance finally failed you and the hair stared to grow through your head and out your ears?
THEColonel: you've been quieter of late. you know. *meaningful look*
ThisisnottheDoctoryou'relookingfor: If I knew I wouldn't be asking would I?
THEColonel: Rodney
ThisisnottheDoctoryou'relookingfor: Oh. You mean that.
THEColonel: yes that. what gives?
ThisisnottheDoctoryou'relookingfor: Nothing. Just not really in the mood for it, I guess.
THEColonel: *offers chocolate*
ThisisnottheDoctoryou'relookingfor: I'll consider it
Rodney had signed off and stewed over it for a few days. John hadn't mentioned it. They'd blown each other in a satisfying 69.
It wasn't the same. Rodney was feeling more and more uncomfortable spending time alone with John. He was vigilant against the words, guarded, and it showed. Of course it showed. Rodney couldn't reliably keep any serious emotion off his face.
Afterwards, John had dressed almost immediately, forgoing his usual sprawl onto Rodney.
He'd stopped by the door on his way out, head facing forward, purposely not looking at Rodney.
"If you were, you know, not into this anymore, you'd tell, right?" John asked tonelessly.
"Sure," Rodney replied, stunned.
Shit. Shit, Shit, Shit. Now John thought Rodney was going to dump him. What good was it if he kept his mouth shut only to have John leave him just so he could be the one doing the leaving?
John was waiting for him at his door. Wordlessly, Rodney entered, hand on the left door for John to enter. Rodney momentarily was stuck by the similarity to holding open an elevator for someone back on earth.
His guest followed him inside, stopping mere inches in front of Rodney.
John looked nervous. Most people wouldn't spot it, but the careless smile on his face was a little too studied, too brittle to be real. Rodney could see it.
Rodney was at a loss to explain. He searched his mind for something to say as the silence dragged on.
John's reactions were messing with Rodney's head. He was sucking noisily breaths through his nose, sped up. His hand's curled into loose fists as his eyes broke from Rodney's, chest rising slightly with each fast intake.
John shook slightly for a minute, almost trembling before he looked at Rodney once more. He swallowed nosily.
"I think about you when I touch myself," John said after a pause.
Rodney felt his blood drain to his cock. Oh god, that was hot. He moaned at the image that created. John with his back propped against the wall of his shower; water streaming over his body as he fisted his cock and panted Rodney's name.
"You think of us?" Rodney gasped.
John relaxed slightly as he reached a hand to Rodney's chest. He licked his lips, eyes locked with Rodney's as he continued, "Yeah. I think of us. Together."
Rodney's arm shot out of its own accord, snaring John's waist and bring his body to fit against his own.
"When you're alone in the shower?" queried Rodney.
"Yeah."
Rodney's hand moved to cup John's ass and lean John's body further into his own, rubbing their hips together.
"You think of us like this?" Rodney breathed over John's lips.
"Yeah," John leant closed as he spoke, "like this."
"You think about us rubbing our cocks against each other through our clothes?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah," Rodney smiled as he spoke, "your vocabulary is as wide reaching as usual."
John froze in his arms. He panted as his eyes dropped to Rodney shoulder.
"I not very good with this, I know. It's not fair to you. I get that. Just," John pause to swallow again, "just give me a minute, ok?"
Realization struck Rodney like a hammer to the skull. John was trying. He was trying to talk dirty for Rodney and Rodney was being a complete ass about it.
"I think of you, too." Rodney offered, "I think of your legs wrapped around my hips and you moaning under me when I jerk off."
John's head jerked up. He eyed Rodney warily for a moment before he smiled at a shy little smile that was painfully unsure.
"Yeah?" John said, tipping his chest flush with Rodney's.
"Yeah," said Rodney, moving his leg between John's thighs.
John's arms cupped Rodney's biceps, stoking firmly as they traveled up his arms to rest on his shoulders. His smile shifted to his naughty, I-know-you-like-this smile, as he tilted his chin upwards; offering his lips for Rodney to pleasure.
Rodney bridged the gap between their mouths, tangling his free hand in hair on the back of John's head, kissing him hungrily. He deepened the kiss, licking the inside of John's mouth.
John moaned at the assault, pressing his hardening cock against Rodney's thigh. His hips shifted as he rubbed himself on Rodney's leg.
You can do this. Rodney instructed himself, just don't say it. You can control yourself. It doesn't matter if the words sit on the tip of you tongue whenever he comes near. It doesn't matter if you feel your chest fill with warm happy feelings and butterflies magically appear. You. Will. Not. Say. It.
Tightening his fingers in John's hair Rodney drew his lover's head back. Both men were breathing heavily in each others face. Rodney inhaled deeply of John's warm, masculine scent.
"Bed. Now," breathed Rodney.
They crossed the floor to the bed as they shed their clothes. Each man caressed the other as new skin was exposed. Hands drifted to hips and nipples to tease and pinch. Rodney pushed John to the bed to remove his shoes and socks. He removed his own shoes and socks and then rid himself of his underwear.
John shimmed out of his own underwear from his position on the bed, flipping over onto his stomach to allow Rodney to run kisses down his spine. Rodney stroked his hands down John's lean back, tracing the line of muscle from his shoulders to his lower back.
"I love seeing you like this. Strung out. Begging for me to touch you. Lick you. Kiss you," Rodney leaned in close to Johns ear as he growled, "Fuck you."
"Oh Fuck, Rodney, please," moaned John in response.
John laid flat to the bed as he grabbed the lube from the bedside table, near throwing it at Rodney in his haste. Rodney flicked the cap on the bottle with one hand as the other fell to John's ass, groping the fleshy globe as he slid his thumb to part the cheeks.
He circled his thumb around John's entrance as he poured the lube over his curled fingers. John shivered as the cool lube hit his hot body, and moaned as Rodney pressed the tip of his index finger into John, twisting his hand palm up.
Rodney added a second finger, stretching his lover with near ruthless efficiency. As soon as John was loose enough Rodney added a third finger. He rubbed the head of his cock against the slickened hole as he scissored his fingers. He began to glance his index finger over John's prostate, moaning in unison at John's pleasure.
"I love your ass. I love it rubbing against my cock. You get so desperate for it, so hot for my cock when I drag it over your hole. It gets me so hot just rubbing the head against your slick hole. You get so wild. The noises you make are unreal. It makes me want to fuck you for hours, till your mad for it, incoherent, begging me to come in you. Love how your hands clutch at the sheets as you rock yourself onto my cock. "
Rodney used one slippery hand to guide the head of his cock into John's eager hole. He slowly pulled John back onto his cock. Once the head was through the tight ring of muscle, Rodney shifted his grip to John's hips, stilling to allow John to shove himself onto Rodney's cock.
Rodney closed his eyes as his head drifted back, concentrating on the feel of John around him.
"Oh God John, you feel so good like this. I love it when you fuck yourself on my cock."
John shifted his weight to his forearms as he spread his knees wider on the bed. He shuddered as he pushed himself back on to Rodney's hard cock. He moaned his pleasure as he moved forward slowly, dragging the head of Rodney's cock over his prostate, teasing them both.
John pushed back on Rodney with successively forceful thrusts, easing Rodney deeper with each pass.
"I love you like this," Rodney moaned over John, "wild with passion, moaning for me."
John's nostrils flared as he sucked in a harsh breath. Passion drunk and wild eyed, he turned his head awkwardly to challenging Rodney with his eyes.
"I love it when you lift me up and mount me on your hard cock," John bit out, voice rough with need.
Rodney slammed John's hips back burying himself deep in John's tight heat. The force lifted John's knees off the bed. Rodney sank down further; feet splayed and buttocks to the bed.
One arm wrapped around John's waist to anchor his hips in Rodney's lap as the other snaked around his chest. Rodney shifted his knees in-between John's thighs to keep his balance.
"Of, fuck, Rodney, Yes," moaned John as he pounded onto Rodney's cock, "do it, fuck, Rodney, do it."
John keened, tormented, as he arched under Rodney. His back slammed into Rodney's chest as it bowed under the force of his arousal; his hips still captured by Rodney's pelvis.
Rodney tightened his grip on John's torso, pulling his back hard to Rodney's chest again. Rodney's biceps, chest and arms corded as the muscle generated the brute force necessary to lift John's upper body from the bed. Rodney followed the motion by leaning his weight back, pulling John fully into his lap.
John's favourite position was hell on Rodney's back, but he seldom remembered that until after the event.
John's arm reached over his head, cupping the back of Rodney's head, his own head lolling to the side so Rodney could attack his neck with bites and kisses. John whimpered and bit his lips as he slid further into Rodney's lap.
Rodney was so deep inside of John he didn't know where his body ended and John's begun.
Passion did to Rodney what no training with Ronon or Teyla could achieve - it filled him with strength he didn't know his body possessed. He felt strong with John sprawled in his lap. Felt it in his thighs, shoulders and arms. Felt it in the weight of John on his lap.
It made him feel powerful. Confident. Everything he'd always imagined himself to be. John made him feel that. John made him feel powerful by trusting Rodney to hold him there.
He wasn't likely to admit it, but Rodney loved this position just as much as John. He loved the slick heat of John's ass around his cock. He loved the feel of John's sweaty thighs bracketing his own. Loved that John's slim frame resting in his lap made him feel broad, made him feel the weight advantage he had over John.
Made him feel dominant. The Alpha
"Fuck me," growled John, face tight with pleasure, "Fuck me, Rodney."
Rodney tightened his hold on John chest as the arm around John's waist fell to John's groin. He wrapped his hand around the top of John's thigh, sliding his fingers between and gripping around to the back of one thigh.
"Fuck John, you make me so fucking hot. I want to come so badly I think my skin will burst."
Dipping his head to John's shoulder, he pull John up with the hand on his thigh, only to push him back down with the arm around his chest.
"I'm going to make you come like this. Make you come with just my cock inside you," Rodney moaned as he plunged into John.
Rodney pumped upwards with his legs as he thrust John on to his aching cock. The feel of John tight around him was maddening. He sank his teeth into the fleshy skin at the base of John neck as he thrust urgently into his lover.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Coming with just my cock inside you," whispered Rodney, into the reddened skin.
John ceased to be coherent; moaning with each stroke as Rodney pushed himself into John's eager passage. His head dropped into the crook of Rodney shoulder as Rodney continued biting kisses along the line of John's exposed shoulder.
Rodney felt John's muscles contract around him as the intensity of John's moans increased.
"Come for me, John," demanded Rodney, "Come for me."
John moaned something that could have been Rodney's name as he thrust himself on to Rodney. John's whole body stuttered over Rodney as his muscles clenched almost painfully around Rodney's cock. White ropey strands streaked John's chest as he came.
Feeling John contract around him robbed Rodney of what little control he had left. As John's orgasm ended, Rodney let himself come in John's pleasure spent body.
He released John gently to the bed. Reaching for a discarded shirt, he wiped John and himself clean before tossing the stained garment to the floor. Rodney pulled John's tired body flush with his chest, twining their legs together to increase the contact.
John sighed quietly as he snuggled closer to Rodney's warmth.
Content for the first time in days, Rodney drifted in the space between sleep and waking. It's a pleasant feeling, the softness of the post coital haze slipping into dream state. He can still hear John's measured breaths beside him as his lover drifts off to sleep.
"I love you," whispers John, barely audible.
Rodney is too tired to be shocked by John's admission. He shifts his head to John's shoulder with the last of his energy reserves.
Now that John has said it, Rodney was sure he'd believed that John loved him even before they'd become lovers. He'd just never believed that John would say it. Hoped. Wished. Dreamed that John would say something like this to him. He'd just never believed John would actually say it.
"Yeah. Same."
As much as he wants to hold on to this moment, keep it locked in this memory for all time, sleep's grip is too tight, and drags him under. Rodney's unconscious mind is full of John's scent, the soft warm texture of John's shoulder under his cheek.