Fic: A Girl in a Port (McKay/Sheppard)
Title: A Girl in a Port
Author: eleveninches
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Set between 4x08 The Seer and 4x09 Miller's Crossing, so spoilers up until that point.
Author's Note: Thanks to kimberlyfdr for beta reading.
Summary: "This was totally making up for getting Larrin voted off the island."
Recipient: For leupagus, who asked for McKay, Larrin, John, jealously, and shenanigans.
*
As the puddlejumper neared the annual intergalactic market on MX3-105, known throughout the galaxy as Lytle, Teyla stood and leaned over John's shoulder. He could feel her soft belly pressing against the back of his shoulder, but after the black eye she'd given Sergeant Campbell when he'd made a joking comment about her sudden, inexplicable weight gain, he tried to ignore it.
"I cannot wait to sample this year's offerings," Teyla announced as John set them down at the edge of the city. "I am very hungry."
John and Rodney exchanged glances.
"I could eat," said Ronon from behind them.
Lytle was a small planet with a pretty decent-sized population. Teyla had said at the mission briefing that they were culled by the Wraith as often as the rest of the galaxy, but in the cold months they lived underground, and the Wraith had yet to catch on to them. From what John could see of the capital city (also called Lytle, which was pretty typical of the Pegasus Galaxy), the rest of the year they lived above ground in white adobe buildings; many of the buildings looked brand new, probably rebuilt after recent cullings. The weather was temperate, but the sun burned bright and hot above their heads.
"Great," Rodney huffed when he clammered out of the jumper, cupping a hand over his eyes, "the one time I forget to bring my sunscreen."
"And me without my parasol," John said dryly.
On their way to the market's entrance, in the centre of the city, a tall woman crashed into John. Like the natives of the planet, she was dressed in several layers of cloth and a veil that covered her hair and face -- deep blue with gold trimming -- but her niqab or dupatta or whatever the locals called it was sloppy: it looked like it wasn't heavy enough to contain her obviously poofy hair. John could relate.
"Ooph," John exhaled painfully, as she said, raising her head, "Hey, watch--"
A pair of hazel eyes met his and widened.
Before John knew what was happening, she had put both hands on his tac vest and shoved him away from her. She pushed her way through an equally-flabbergasted Ronon and Teyla, sidestepping Rodney, who had quickly moved back and towards John, a startled look on his face. Then she took off in a run, lifting the skirt of her dress with both hands; underneath, she was wearing black leggings and leather sandals.
"That was weird," John said, as she disappeared into the crowd. Some of the locals she'd ran past were murmuring and laughing to each other, glancing in the direction she'd vanished.
"Looks like your charm's wearing off, Lothario," Rodney said. His tone was light, but the expression on his face was troubled. "She didn't look happy to see you."
Teyla frowned as well, her gaze flickering towards the natives. "Perhaps this is the first time she has seen travelers from offworld," she said kindly, but she moved closer to John, protectively.
"You think this means trouble?" Ronon asked him.
John wasn't sure what it meant, but it probably wasn't good. "I'm sure it's fine," he answered, "but keep an eye out. You know how I hate surprises."
Nothing else suspicious happened, and an hour later John had nearly forgotten about it, caught up in the sights of the market. Teyla and Ronon had been right: it really seemed like everyone from across the galaxy had come to Lytle to trade, from robed Daganites carrying books to leather-clad Hallonans (who nudged each other as John walked past, obviously recognizing him) buying sacks of grain to uptight-looking Genii checking out some antiquated weaponry. People were selling their goods from either covered stands or open carts set up along the dirt roads, which were jammed pack full of people, strange animals, and funky modes of transportation. Many of the white buildings had their doors open to the public, and John was able to spot a few ale houses along their way. The whole thing was a lot like the markets John had been to in Europe and the Middle East, but alien enough to be really cool. Maybe he could convince Carter to start buying the expedition's groceries at a place like this.
John let Teyla and Ronon lead the way, figuring they knew where they were going. They both looked more excited than he'd seen in a long while. He wondered if they went to these places a lot as kids.
"Katie and I broke up," Rodney said suddenly.
John glanced at Rodney in surprise, tearing his attention away from Ronon and Teyla's vehement discussion of local Pegasus candy. "You did?" he asked excitedly. "I mean, wow," he added, trying to look as disinterested as possible, "how come, buddy?"
"It wasn't working out," Rodney said stiffly. He was staring at the various stalls they passed, instead of meeting John's eyes; John didn't know if this meant he was upset or embarrassed or what. John wanted to say, 'Over Katie Brown? Really?' but he kept his mouth shut.
"Katie wanted someone who understands her passion for botany, I wanted someone whose life's work didn't drive me up the wall," Rodney continued. "You won't believe this. The day after we broke up she had a date with one of the other scientists. Gerald, I believe she said his name was?" He frowned unhappily. "He's an entomologist. I knew she had her eye on him the second she'd introduced us during that whole amnesia fiasco."
He looked miserable. John racked his brain for something nice to say, but all he could come up with was, 'I'd never leave you for an entomologist,' or, 'What a slut,' and he doubted either would make Rodney feel better. John was a pretty big fan of self-denial, but even he couldn't fool himself into believing Rodney's soft smiles and dreamy gazes were for anybody but Katie Brown. It was only a few weeks ago he'd woken up in the infirmary and seen Rodney asleep at her bedside, like she was the most important thing in the world to him. The memory was still fresh enough to make John wish he'd been unconscious for a few hours longer that day.
"That sucks," John said finally.
"Thank you for that incredibly eloquent statement," Rodney replied, but he didn't look quite as dejected now.
"She wasn't right for you anyway," said John, stepping out of the way of an old woman pushing a cart of brightly-coloured fruit down the road.
Rodney wasn't as lucky, and he knocked his knees against the cart, eliciting a glare from the old lady. Swearing loudly, he grabbed the back of John's tac vest to steady himself.
"She wasn't?" he shouted into John's ear. "But Katie was so nice and... Who am I kidding? She was really pretty. And she smelled good. And she did this thing-- hey, is this a new aftershave?"
John froze as Rodney leaned closer and sniffed his neck. "Can I borrow this?" Rodney asked, breath puffing against John's skin.
"No," John snapped, shaking Rodney off him. The last thing he needed was a hard on in the middle of a market because his clueless teammate was feeling him up. "Jeeze. And it's not aftershave, it's this body wash stuff Ronon got me for my birthday. He said it was really popular on Sateda."
"Ronon gave you body wash for your birthday?" Rodney asked, appalled.
"I think he's trying to marry me off," John grumbled.
"How creepy."
"You're telling me," John agreed, keeping his voice low.
John had a feeling Ronon heard what they were saying -- which meant John's ass was grass next time they sparred -- but if he did, he didn't react. When the team paused at one of the stalls so Teyla could buy a kebab made of foul-smelling, tentacled creatures, Ronon looked at John with a bored expression and said, "She's been talking about having one of these for days."
For a brief instant, Rodney looked interested, until Ronon muttered, "Trust me, you don't want one."
Privately, John agreed with Rodney's look of horror. If Ronon thought it was gross, it must've been really disgusting.
Teyla slurped down her squid happily. They started moving again, this time because it was Ronon who had spotted something he wanted to check out. One of the merchants was selling a game that looked an awful lot like Chinese checkers, except, for some strange reason, it came with a machete. The only way Ronon was roping John into playing that was if John was drunk, that was for sure.
While Ronon haggled, John discreetly glanced at Rodney, who seemed to be eagerly looking around for something edible. It wasn't Rodney's fault he was so clueless, not really. It wasn't like John had been advertising how he felt or anything. Before, he'd decided it was just some stupid crush, and whatever, he'd get over it. Then Rodney had started dating Katie Brown, and John had realized he'd been waiting for Rodney to come around. He'd given up after the amnesia fever, but now Rodney was single again, and John had his chance -- if Rodney felt the same way, that was. Sometimes he thought Rodney did. Lately there were times when they felt so in sync, and John felt confident enough to maybe put a hand on Rodney's arm or mention how he was cool with two guys together, but they were usually ruined by Rodney saying something about Colonel Carter's boobs. John had always been pretty crappy at figuring these things out; there was a reason his only date in years had been with a lonely Ascended being.
"You know what, you're right," Rodney said. John looked at him in askance, and Rodney explained, "There has to be someone out there better for me than Katie."
John licked his lips. "Hey," he started, knowing it was a bad idea even as he said it, "you're single, I'm single, we could--"
"Do you think Teyla's looking chubby?" Rodney interrupted thoughtfully.
Even though she was a good ten feet away, Teyla's head twitched. She looked over her shoulder at them, still chewing on the head of a barbecued alien squid, and her eyes locked with John's. John clapped a hand over Rodney's mouth and threw her the most innocent smile he could muster. Rodney squeaked loudly.
"I don't know what you're talking about, McKay," John said, raising his voice.
When Teyla turned back to Ronon -- who was now offering to trade a grenade for one of the checker boards -- John dropped his hand, making a point of wiping it on his pants. Rodney didn't notice; he was busy gazing at Teyla with a familiar look on his face. John scowled. So much for Rodney being upset about his break-up. Fortunately, he was pretty sure that if Rodney asked Teyla out, she'd say no. She'd already turned down John, Ronon, Lorne, Kemp, Stackhouse, and a dozen guys offworld over the years.
Except, John remembered, straightening his back, she'd had a few dinner dates with Zelenka. Maybe Teyla was into geniuses. Maybe she got off on dating guys who she could beat up. Maybe technobabble turned her on. (It got John pretty hot.) Maybe she'd had a secret crush on Rodney for years and was waiting for Rodney to realize they were meant to be together.
"You've got to be kidding me," John said, ticked off.
"I'm saying, her boobs are huge, and she's looking distinctly... rounder," Rodney said. He gestured towards the slightly rounded tummy John had too much sense to comment on. "It's not just me, right? Tell me you're seeing this."
John felt like a moron. It must have shown on his face, because Rodney looked at him suspiciously. John glanced away before saying, "I think she's stress eating. She's been pretty upset about her people. Anyway, you'd better hope she doesn't hear you mentioning her... you know." He gestured to his own chest.
But Rodney wasn't buying it. "That is what you were talking about, isn't it?" Rodney asked. "Her putting on some weight?"
"Of course I was, what else would I be talking about?" John lied.
Rodney's eyes narrowed. "What were you about to say a moment ago?" he asked accusingly.
John said, "Uh, well," but at that moment, much to his relief, Ronon and Teyla strolled over to them. Teyla had finished her squid thing and was tucking the wooden skewer into her trouser pocket. Both their expressions were casual -- too casual. After three years, John had learned to recognize that look of forced calm. So much for an easy mission, he thought dryly.
Without taking his gaze off a couple of kids running by, passing a beaten-up ball between their feet, Ronon murmured, "We're being followed."
"For how long?" John asked quietly.
He didn't glance over his shoulder. He felt proud when Rodney didn't either, although Rodney visibly tensed, one hand clenched on the butt of his P-90. John hoped whoever was following them didn't know Rodney well enough to realize something was up.
"At least ten minutes," Teyla answered in an undertone.
Nonchalantly, John turned his head; sure enough, the blue-robed women he'd bumped into earlier was trailing behind them, almost unnoticeable in a crowd of bright pinks, greens, and magentas. He could tell it was her from the tale-tell poof of hair under her head scarf. She was leaning against a stall, pretending to be interested in some copper jewelry. As confident John was in his offworld survival skills, he wasn't sure he would've been able to spot her if Ronon and Teyla hadn't been with him.
"What do you think?" John asked.
"Ex-Genii, perhaps," said Teyla. "Although I believe I saw several of Radim's Genii purchasing butterbeers near the entrance to the market."
"Bounty hunter," Ronon said out of the side of mouth. "She's good."
"Bounty hunter?" Rodney exclaimed, as John said, "Butterbeers?"
Rodney started to turn, twisting his neck to stare at their stalker. John smacked the back of his head before he gave them away. Rodney yelped, "Ow!" and threw him a hurt look.
Ronon raised his brows, looking like he was about to laugh. "Yeah, McKay, a bounty hunter. You didn't think we were wanted by just the Genii rebels, did you?"
Rodney blanched. Risking a glance at the woman again, John found her asking the merchant about one of the copper pieces on display. Ronon was right, she was good.
"You guys got any ideas?" he asked.
"We can circle back and take care of her," Ronon grunted.
"I believe that is a bad idea," said Teyla, shaking her head. "Innocent people could be hurt. It would be best if we could lead her away from the crowd."
John spotted the entrance to an alley between two stands of bizarrely-shaped vegetables. Or maybe they were fruit; who could tell. The path led behind a series of white buildings. "Come on," he said. To Rodney, he added, "Act normal."
"I am acting normal," Rodney hissed. John rolled his eyes.
A couple of the locals looked at them weirdly when John's team casually headed down the fork in the road. Without breaking his stride, Ronon snatched a purple fruit (vegetable?) from one of the stands and tossed the owner a silver coin. As soon as they were out of sight, John flattened himself against the side of the building. Teyla and Ronon did the same, Ronon powering up his pistol. Rodney ducked behind Teyla, pulling in his shoulders to hide behind her much smaller frame.
"This is your plan?" Rodney asked flatly.
John glared at him. This time he didn't have to lift a finger; Ronon reached over Teyla's head and smacked Rodney for him.
"You know, one of these days I'm going to kick your ass," Rodney said to John, massaging the back of his head.
"Uh-huh, keep dreaming, McKay," John replied.
"Would you please be quiet?" Teyla asked sharply.
They fell silent, and just in time, because seconds later the woman rounded the corner. She froze mid-step when she saw them.
"Aw, man," she said.
John smirked, P-90 pointed directly at her belly. "Nice of you to join us."
*
"I can't believe I fell for that," the woman groaned.
Each one of John's teammates had their weapons aimed at her. One of her hands twitched towards her waist, where the layers of her dress met under a thick, blue belt before tumbling to the ground. If John was her, he would've had at least a knife tucked away there.
"Don't even think about it," John warned.
She sighed and raised her hands. "Alright, I surrender."
Her voice was kind of familiar. John frowned, but he didn't lower his P-90.
"Why're you following us?" Ronon asked gruffly.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," the woman replied, shrugging. Now John was sure he'd heard her voice before, but he couldn't figure out where. "Look, if you let me take off my head covering, it'll explain everything."
John exchanged a glance with Teyla. She tilted her head in agreement. "Okay," he told the woman, "but before you think about trying anything funny, remember you've got four--" He looked at Rodney, who seemed more nervous than anything else. "--three pissed off people pointing very dangerous weapons at your face."
"I sure wouldn't want to make you mad," said the woman sarcastically. John didn't think he liked her tone.
After he gestured for her to go ahead, she reached up and carefully removed her veil, making a show of unwrapping the layers under her chin -- revealing a smirking face he remembered all too well. She tossed her head, her long, wavy hair bouncing back into place over her shoulders. This was someone he hadn't been expecting to see any time soon, and definitely not anywhere near MX3-105.
"You!" John exclaimed.
"Hello, Sheppard," said Larrin. She put her hands on her hips, letting the veil fall to the ground in a puddle of silk.
"Who is this woman, John?" Teyla asked.
Larrin was as hot as he remembered, but a lot more unkempt; her hair was frizzy, and her nails were black with grime. This close up, her robes were wrinkled and stained, and she smelled a little. From the looks on their faces, she wasn't making the same impression on his teammates that she'd made on John the last time they'd met. Both Ronon and Teyla had an expression that said they knew she wasn't half the fierce alien princess Teyla was; she may have put on some weight, but everyone there knew Teyla could kick Larrin's ass from here to Atlantis without breaking a sweat.
"Guys, this is Larrin," John announced, crossing his arms over his chest. "She's the one who kidnapped me, had me tortured, and then made me fix her ship."
"Oh, the hot alien?" Rodney asked, gazing at her appreciatingly.
Larrin arched a brow at John. "Thanks, McKay," John said, making a face.
Ronon, meanwhile, audibly switched his gun from 'stun' to 'kill.' Teyla didn't look too happy either, and her finger lingered on the trigger of her P-90.
Larrin noticed them at the same moment John did, and she held up her dirty hands like she was trying to talk down a ferocious animal. "Sheppard, I thought we were over this. I was trying to protect my people. I eventually let you go! Friends, remember? Allies?"
"Eventually," John repeated. But she had a point; they already had enough trouble with the Wraith and the Replicators, he didn't need to add the Travelers to that list. "Stand down," he ordered his team.
"What?" Rodney asked in surprise. "But she tried to kill you. Who knows what she's trying to do now."
"I can't do anything now," Larrin retorted angrily, taking a step towards him. She stopped, her eyes going wide. She clapped a hand over her mouth.
That made John pause. "What was that?"
A line formed between her brows. "Why do you think I'm on this stupid planet?" she asked miserably. "I was kicked out. You remember Silas? He was renowned among my people. When I came home without him, people were upset, and suddenly I was on the list for the next drop off."
"Your people left you here?" asked Teyla, looking surprised.
"No, they left me on another world. I gated here."
"Why here?" John asked, as Rodney snorted and said, "It can't be for the food."
Looking torn between rage and resignation, Larrin replied, "I'm trying to build my own ship. I came to Lytle because a lot of stuff passes through the market. You'd be surprised what you can build out of a radiator, a carriage, and an old boot." She turned to John. "You're going to help me, right?"
"How about no?" John answered.
She jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "It's your fault my people left me behind."
"Is not," he retorted, pushing her hand away.
"It is and you know it."
John did feel kind of bad about it. She'd been a leader, and now she was scavenging for parts on a world she probably considered backwater, all because she'd wanted to prevent leaving her people behind. It would be like Teyla -- or worse, Elizabeth, he thought with a pang -- becoming a begger or something.
He felt his resolve crumbling. "Fine," he said. "McKay here will take a look at your ship."
"I will?" Rodney asked. He looked disappointed. "Of course I will."
Larrin crossed her arms over her chest, dragging her gaze from Rodney's toes to the top of his head. "Are you any good at fixing ships?"
Rodney puffed up. "Am I any good at fixing ships?" he repeated disbelievingly. He glanced at John and smirked; John rolled his eyes, and Ronon snorted loudly. "You obviously haven't heard of me."
Teyla curled her hand around John's elbow, drawing him aside. "Are you sure this is wise?" she asked him quietly.
"Sure." He glanced up to see Larrin and Rodney scowling at each other. "McKay will take a look at her ship, maybe fix a thing or two, and we'll head home. What could go wrong?"
Fifteen minutes later, he found out exactly what could go wrong. They were on the way to Larrin's ship when, suddenly, a line of bullets hit the ground in front of them. All five of them ducked into the enclosed patio of what John hoped was an empty house. He could hear bullets ricocheting off the stone wall immediately outside the patio; whoever it was, they were aiming for his team. Or Larrin. Since he was pretty sure his team hadn't had time to make enemies with the locals -- unless it was that checkers salesman Ronon had abandoned in the middle of a trade -- it was more likely Larrin was the cause of this.
John grabbed Larrin's arm while Ronon and Teyla fired back at whoever was shooting at them. "Who'd you piss off?" he demanded.
Larrin glared at him, wrenching her arm out of his grasp. "Nobody. We just had a little... misunderstanding."
Several more shots were fired. John and Ronon leaned out the door and aimed in the direction of the bullets. He heard Teyla saying to Rodney and Larrin, "When I give the signal, run through the house and out the front door. We will be right behind you."
Minutes later, John was following Ronon out the door of the house and into another alley. When Ronon threw himself around the next corner, John followed. Crouching, he plastered himself against the warm wall, trying to catch his breath, and noticed his team was one member short. The sounds of gunshots and shouting trailed off into the distance, away from them.
He turned to Ronon and Teyla. "Where the hell's McKay?" he demanded.
"I think he and Larrin ran the other way," Ronon said, while Teyla quietly grimaced and reloaded her weapon.
"Crap," John hissed, slamming his fist against the wall. He was pretty sure it was his turn to get rescued, not Rodney's. He should have known the second he'd seen Larrin that he was going to end up saving her ass again. She'd made him jump through hoops last time; he didn't know why he'd expected this time to be any different. This was totally making up for getting her voted off the island. He was going to make sure she understood that as soon as everyone was out of danger and his team was on their merry way.
"I am sure Rodney will be fine, John," said Teyla.
"That Larrin looks like she knows what she's doing," Ronon said.
That was a pretty big compliment coming from Ronon, who always said Teyla only beat him because she was lucky and that John's hand-to-hand skills were pathetic. John raised an eyebrow at him, and Ronon shrugged, looking faintly embarrassed. "I like her. She's like you, except more aggressive."
"Hey, I'm plenty aggressive," John said, offended.
"Okay," Ronon said, in a tone that told John he was being humoured.
Annoyed, John glanced at Teyla, but she was looking off into the distance, mouth pressed in a thin line. He was going to pretend that meant she agreed with him, even if it was more likely she was worried about Rodney. John was sure Rodney and Larrin were okay; they were just on the run from the bad guys together, alone, souped up on adrenaline...
"We need to find Rodney and get the hell out of here," John announced, jumping to his feet.
"I agree," Teyla said, chin raised high.
While heading back in the direction they'd come from, John got the impression Teyla was holding something back. And not in the way she normally refrained from saying something impolite, either; she kept opening and closing her mouth as if she was about to say something and then changing her mind.
"Okay, out with it," John prodded.
"I do not like Larrin!" Teyla declared.
John stared at her. He couldn't remember Teyla ever having said something like this before; she'd liked Michael, for Christ's sake. Her best friend had been Kate Heightmeyer.
"How come?" he asked carefully.
"It is true, John, she is very much like you. However, she seems to have all of your bad qualities and none of your good ones."
"She kind of does," Ronon admitted.
"Bad qualities?" John repeated. "Like what?"
"The whining," said Ronon.
"I don't whine!" John exclaimed.
"The arguing," Teyla noted pointedly, nodding. "The smirking, the attitude, the hair and dress inappropriate to her profession..."
"I wouldn't call 'space pirate' a profession," John replied, scratching his head. "And okay, okay, I get it. You don't like her."
He liked her, now that he thought about it. There hadn't been a lot of time to contemplate it during his capture, but when she wasn't torturing or threatening to space him, Larrin was pretty cool. She was good in a fight, she liked leather, she had nice hair... Really, there wasn't much for John to dislike there. And if they were a lot alike, so what? John was pretty cool, if he said so himself.
The sound of gunfire erupted somewhere to his left, followed by a loud cry of pain. Without even checking to make sure the rest of his team was following, John sprinted towards it, weaving through the small streets. Larrin had been handy in the fight against the Wraith while they'd been on the Ancient warship, and, rationally, he knew Rodney was a lot more competent with a gun now than he'd been a year ago, but it was John's job to make sure his teammates made it back to Atlantis safe and sound. Getting shot to pieces on an alien world because McKay had ran the wrong direction definitely wasn't John's idea of safe.
Only, when his team got there, there were five dead or unconscious guards on the ground. Rodney was standing over them, reloading his Beretta. His hair was ruffled and he was a little sweaty. He looked hot. Larrin, who was holding Rodney's P-90 (and he and Rodney were going to have to have a little talk about trusting strange alien women), seemed to think so too; she was gazing at Rodney with a look John remembered being reserved for him. He took back everything he'd said about her being cool.
"You weren't worried, were you?" Rodney asked flippantly. John scowled at him. "We decided to meet you at the puddlejumper, so we wouldn't get lost."
"'We'?" John repeated. He glared at Larrin, who smirked.
With probably a little more force than was necessary, Teyla pulled the P-90 out of Larrin's hands. Larrin gave her an innocent look.
A thought occurred to John. "The puddlejumper's the other way, McKay."
"Um, no, Mr Magoo," Rodney said, raising an eyebrow. "We parked here, right on the other side of this courtyard."
John scratched the back of his neck. He could have sworn he'd left the puddlejumper in the south of the city.
Ronon clapped him on the shoulder. "Yeah, the puddlejumper's right here. If I'd known this is where you were headed I'd've told you sooner."
"Poor sense of direction, huh, Sheppard?" Larrin asked snidely, leaning a hip against the entrance wall of the courtyard. She rubbed her hands together. "So when can McKay take a look at my ship?"
"Sorry, but I've changed my mind about helping you," John said.
Larrin straightened up. "What? You said you would!"
"Really, Colonel--" Rodney began.
"That was before you neglected to mention that you had the local authorities after you." John reached down and ripped a patch off the jacket of one of the fallen men. It was the same patch worn by the guards protecting the market.
He tossed it to Larrin, who was looking furious. "But--"
"Teyla, you're with me," he said, handing the puddlejumper controller over to Ronon.
"Hey!" Larrin shouted at his back. "You asshole."
When John and Teyla were done securing the perimeter, John headed back to find Ronon standing in the middle of the courtyard, alone except for a flock of grey birds drinking out of the fountain. After Teyla tore open her fifth powerbar in half an hour, John started to walk over to Ronon to see what was going on, but he grew a little concerned by the way the expression on Ronon's face seemed to freeze as he caught sight of him.
John approached carefully. "Hey," he started.
With warning, Ronon seized his arm and pulled him towards the far right corner. "Let's go over here," he interrupted.
"What?" John asked, craning his neck. The courtyard looked exactly the same as when they'd arrived on the planet several hours ago, from the algae-speckled fountain to the bright adobe buildings. Then he was struck with the realization he hadn't spotted McKay since he'd arrived -- and usually Rodney was the loudest and most obvious person in the room.
Alarmed, John demanded, "Ronon, what's going on?"
"Nothing, I just want to stand over here," Ronon said unconvincingly.
John, confused, let himself be dragged, up until he heard a high-pitched and slightly evil laugh coming from the direction of the parked puddlejumper. It was Larrin's laugh, and she sounded happy. Suspiciously happy, considering he'd just told her off.
Stumbling, John tried to dislodge his arm from Ronon's tight, Juggernaut-like grip. "Ronon," he hissed, and, finally, Ronon stopped, face going blank. John put his hands on his hips. "Where's McKay?"
"Dunno," Ronon said flatly. It was so obvious he was lying; he crossed his arms over his chest and gave John a gaze that was a little too steady. John would have been intimidated by that determined expression if he hadn't known it was the face Ronon always made when he thought he was going to get in trouble for something.
John opened his mouth to argue, just as a warm chuckle came from the same direction as the laugh. This one was distinctly male and all-too familiar; it was a chuckle John had heard dozens of times on dozens of worlds, almost always in response to something John had said. And just when John thought things couldn't get any worse, he heard Larrin say, "Oh, Dr McKay!"
Gritting his teeth, John growled, "What's going on?"
Ronon shuffled his feet. "He's taking a look at her toolbox."
John glared in the direction of puddlejumper. "I really hope that's not a metaphor," he said.
Ronon snickered. "McKay thinks he's going to get lucky." John's stomach twisted, and Ronon continued with, "I wonder if he's realized she's basically a girl you."
"I hope not," John muttered. That would be really depressing, if Rodney had liked him but John had just come with the wrong equipment, so to speak.
Sounding embarrassed, Ronon said, "Hey, uh, sorry. I shouldn't've said anything."
John's shoulders stiffened, but he forced himself to shrug, hoping it looked believable. "McKay can do what he wants," he said.
Ronon gave him a look that was a cross between exasperation and pity, but John was fine. He was totally fine. It wasn't like he'd lain awake nights feeling sorry for himself when McKay had been bumping uglies with Katie Brown, wondering what Rodney saw in her, with her dumb plants and her silly laugh and her stupid face, when Rodney could've had someone cool, like Elizabeth or Keller or, hey, John. That had definitely never happened. If Rodney wanted to hook up with Larrin, John couldn't have been happier for him. It was actually a relief, because now that John knew for sure nothing was going to happen between the two of them, he was free to get with whomever he wanted. It was a big galaxy; there were plenty of hot guys and girls in Atlantis he'd noticed, and who had noticed him, and hell, Ronon was kind of--
"I'm thinking about asking out Keller," Ronon said.
John deflated. "Good for you."
No one on his team wanted to sleep with him, and Larrin, the only person in the galaxy he'd kind of, maybe had considering hooking up with would rather have been with Rodney than him. John eyed Teyla and asked, "What'd you think Teyla would do if I asked her out again?"
"I think she'd eat you," Ronon said.
"Ronon, I am not deaf," Teyla called from the other side of the fountain. She bared her teeth, which had little pieces of grape filling stuck to them.
When Rodney reappeared, looking flushed and pleased with himself, John found himself clenching his hands into fists. The worst part was, smug had always been good look for Rodney; it was one of Rodney's expressions that always seemed to do it for John, regardless of the situation. John decided he should have shot Larrin when he'd had his chance on the Aurora-class ship.
Rodney headed towards his team, beaming. "Well, she hasn't had much formal schooling, and her knowledge isn't what I'd call advanced, but Larrin certainly knows a lot more than most of the people we meet in this galaxy," he announced.
He was practically glowing. Before he knew what was going on, John found himself snapping, "What about Katie Brown?"
Rodney frowned at him. "What?"
"You're moving a little fast, don't you think?"
Squinting at him in disbelief, Rodney repeated, "Moving a little--? Oh, oh no, I see what this is about!" He poked a finger in John's face, and John's anger spiked. With a triumphant smirk, Rodney said, "You're mad I stole your hot alien girlfriend, aren't you? Can't stand the idea of someone wanting me more than--"
"McKay, I don't care about Larrin," John interrupted sharply.
"You don't?" Rodney repeated dubiously. He blinked several times at John, and the expression on his face shifted.
John froze, prepared to deny everything. He should have kept his mouth shut. What was wrong with him? But before he said anything else stupid, Teyla snapped, "John!" and John heard the familiar sound of a puddlejumper powering up.
He turned to the entrance to where they'd parked in time to see the ship rising into the air. It rose and rose until she disappeared from sight, leaving John and his team on the ground, stunned into silence.
"Please tell me that didn't just happen," Rodney said finally.
John closed his eyes. "Rodney," he said, taking a deep breath, "I am going to kill you."
"I don't get it, how'd she pilot it without the gene?" Ronon asked.
When John opened his eyes again, Rodney was looking sheepish. "I may have, ah, showed her the autopilot, now that you mention it," he said, sounding nervous.
"It is a very, very long walk to the gate," Teyla reminded them. She looked annoyed.
John took a step towards Rodney, and Teyla's hands shot out as she quickly moved between them, signalling John to stop. "John, it is not Rodney's fault," she said, but that didn't make him want to maim McKay any less.
"Yes, listen to her," said Rodney, edging closer to Ronon, who mostly looked amused. "I was clearly taken advantage of by that horrible, no good--"
"You were thinking with your dick, that's what you mean," John seethed. He put his head in his hands. "Dammit, Rodney!"
"If we are going to be here for a while, I would like to go back to the market and get lunch," Teyla announced, throwing both John and Rodney glares.
"That sounds like a good idea," Ronon agreed. He locked gazes with John. "You two going to be okay here?"
John let out a long breath through his nose. Murdering your friend was bad, he remind himself. "Yeah," he bit out. "I'll call you when Colonel Carter contacts us through the gate."
Ronon and Teyla took off and John walked to the fountain and sat down heavily, not even caring about the green algae that was going to stain his second-to-last pair of BDUs. He thought about all the horrible ways Larrin was going to ruin his ship, like gutting her to make whatever kind of private shuttles the Travelers used, or worse, selling her for scrap. That had been his third favourite puddlejumper, too. This was why he never got nice things; if it wasn't Lorne getting his Ancient warship blown up, it was Rodney letting hot aliens steal his puddlejumpers.
"Look, John, I'm sorry, okay?" Rodney said, taking a seat beside him. "I thought-- I thought she liked me."
"Yeah, well, welcome to the club," John said bitterly.
"She did it to you too, eh?" Rodney asked, sighing.
"Yeah, but that wasn't what I--" John stopped himself before he finished that thought. He shook his head roughly. "Nevermind. It's not important."
It was a good two hours until they were due to check in, which meant it would probably be closer to five by the time Carter made contact, found an available gene-carrier, and got someone to pick them up. John stretched out his legs and tried to ignore the way Rodney was fidgeting beside him, because when he was this mad, Rodney wasn't cute.
"I have a confession," Rodney blurted, and John tilted his head and squinted at him. "You were right when you said I was moving fast. When Katie broke up with me, I realized she wasn't the person I really wanted to be with. Don't get me wrong, being dumped was still painful and humiliating, but I guess... I'm not as upset as I should be. Larrin's not-- we're not-- It was just some harmless flirting. She reminded me of someone I've been, well, interested in for a while now."
"She reminded you of someone you're interested in?" John repeated slowly.
His mouth was dry. If Larrin reminded Rodney of anyone, it would have been John. Teyla and Ronon had both said Larrin was just like him. An annoying, space pirate, girl version of him, and there was no way Rodney meant anyone else, unless there was another girl him wandering around Atlantis.
"Yes, so if you want to get with her, I'm not going to stop you," Rodney continued bravely, unaware John was onto him.
John licked his lips. "I don't care about Larrin."
Rodney frowned. "Yes, you said that before."
"Rodney," John said, looking at him pointedly, "I don't care about Larrin."
Heart pounding, he lifted the hand that had been resting on the fountain and placed it on Rodney's knee.
Rodney stared at John's hand on his knee for a long moment. His cheeks turned pink, and he said, "Of course not. I-- I knew that. I would have to be an idiot not to realize that."
Feeling suddenly, stupidly thrilled, John started to laugh. Rodney raised his head and grinned at him crookedly, covering John's hand with his.
By the time Teyla and Ronon returned an hour later, John and Rodney had come to an understanding over the whole Larrin thing. Maybe next time he ran into her, John decided, while Ronon smirked at them knowingly and Teyla offered to share her popcorn shrimp, he'd tell her to keep the puddlejumper.
Author: eleveninches
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Set between 4x08 The Seer and 4x09 Miller's Crossing, so spoilers up until that point.
Author's Note: Thanks to kimberlyfdr for beta reading.
Summary: "This was totally making up for getting Larrin voted off the island."
Recipient: For leupagus, who asked for McKay, Larrin, John, jealously, and shenanigans.
*
As the puddlejumper neared the annual intergalactic market on MX3-105, known throughout the galaxy as Lytle, Teyla stood and leaned over John's shoulder. He could feel her soft belly pressing against the back of his shoulder, but after the black eye she'd given Sergeant Campbell when he'd made a joking comment about her sudden, inexplicable weight gain, he tried to ignore it.
"I cannot wait to sample this year's offerings," Teyla announced as John set them down at the edge of the city. "I am very hungry."
John and Rodney exchanged glances.
"I could eat," said Ronon from behind them.
Lytle was a small planet with a pretty decent-sized population. Teyla had said at the mission briefing that they were culled by the Wraith as often as the rest of the galaxy, but in the cold months they lived underground, and the Wraith had yet to catch on to them. From what John could see of the capital city (also called Lytle, which was pretty typical of the Pegasus Galaxy), the rest of the year they lived above ground in white adobe buildings; many of the buildings looked brand new, probably rebuilt after recent cullings. The weather was temperate, but the sun burned bright and hot above their heads.
"Great," Rodney huffed when he clammered out of the jumper, cupping a hand over his eyes, "the one time I forget to bring my sunscreen."
"And me without my parasol," John said dryly.
On their way to the market's entrance, in the centre of the city, a tall woman crashed into John. Like the natives of the planet, she was dressed in several layers of cloth and a veil that covered her hair and face -- deep blue with gold trimming -- but her niqab or dupatta or whatever the locals called it was sloppy: it looked like it wasn't heavy enough to contain her obviously poofy hair. John could relate.
"Ooph," John exhaled painfully, as she said, raising her head, "Hey, watch--"
A pair of hazel eyes met his and widened.
Before John knew what was happening, she had put both hands on his tac vest and shoved him away from her. She pushed her way through an equally-flabbergasted Ronon and Teyla, sidestepping Rodney, who had quickly moved back and towards John, a startled look on his face. Then she took off in a run, lifting the skirt of her dress with both hands; underneath, she was wearing black leggings and leather sandals.
"That was weird," John said, as she disappeared into the crowd. Some of the locals she'd ran past were murmuring and laughing to each other, glancing in the direction she'd vanished.
"Looks like your charm's wearing off, Lothario," Rodney said. His tone was light, but the expression on his face was troubled. "She didn't look happy to see you."
Teyla frowned as well, her gaze flickering towards the natives. "Perhaps this is the first time she has seen travelers from offworld," she said kindly, but she moved closer to John, protectively.
"You think this means trouble?" Ronon asked him.
John wasn't sure what it meant, but it probably wasn't good. "I'm sure it's fine," he answered, "but keep an eye out. You know how I hate surprises."
Nothing else suspicious happened, and an hour later John had nearly forgotten about it, caught up in the sights of the market. Teyla and Ronon had been right: it really seemed like everyone from across the galaxy had come to Lytle to trade, from robed Daganites carrying books to leather-clad Hallonans (who nudged each other as John walked past, obviously recognizing him) buying sacks of grain to uptight-looking Genii checking out some antiquated weaponry. People were selling their goods from either covered stands or open carts set up along the dirt roads, which were jammed pack full of people, strange animals, and funky modes of transportation. Many of the white buildings had their doors open to the public, and John was able to spot a few ale houses along their way. The whole thing was a lot like the markets John had been to in Europe and the Middle East, but alien enough to be really cool. Maybe he could convince Carter to start buying the expedition's groceries at a place like this.
John let Teyla and Ronon lead the way, figuring they knew where they were going. They both looked more excited than he'd seen in a long while. He wondered if they went to these places a lot as kids.
"Katie and I broke up," Rodney said suddenly.
John glanced at Rodney in surprise, tearing his attention away from Ronon and Teyla's vehement discussion of local Pegasus candy. "You did?" he asked excitedly. "I mean, wow," he added, trying to look as disinterested as possible, "how come, buddy?"
"It wasn't working out," Rodney said stiffly. He was staring at the various stalls they passed, instead of meeting John's eyes; John didn't know if this meant he was upset or embarrassed or what. John wanted to say, 'Over Katie Brown? Really?' but he kept his mouth shut.
"Katie wanted someone who understands her passion for botany, I wanted someone whose life's work didn't drive me up the wall," Rodney continued. "You won't believe this. The day after we broke up she had a date with one of the other scientists. Gerald, I believe she said his name was?" He frowned unhappily. "He's an entomologist. I knew she had her eye on him the second she'd introduced us during that whole amnesia fiasco."
He looked miserable. John racked his brain for something nice to say, but all he could come up with was, 'I'd never leave you for an entomologist,' or, 'What a slut,' and he doubted either would make Rodney feel better. John was a pretty big fan of self-denial, but even he couldn't fool himself into believing Rodney's soft smiles and dreamy gazes were for anybody but Katie Brown. It was only a few weeks ago he'd woken up in the infirmary and seen Rodney asleep at her bedside, like she was the most important thing in the world to him. The memory was still fresh enough to make John wish he'd been unconscious for a few hours longer that day.
"That sucks," John said finally.
"Thank you for that incredibly eloquent statement," Rodney replied, but he didn't look quite as dejected now.
"She wasn't right for you anyway," said John, stepping out of the way of an old woman pushing a cart of brightly-coloured fruit down the road.
Rodney wasn't as lucky, and he knocked his knees against the cart, eliciting a glare from the old lady. Swearing loudly, he grabbed the back of John's tac vest to steady himself.
"She wasn't?" he shouted into John's ear. "But Katie was so nice and... Who am I kidding? She was really pretty. And she smelled good. And she did this thing-- hey, is this a new aftershave?"
John froze as Rodney leaned closer and sniffed his neck. "Can I borrow this?" Rodney asked, breath puffing against John's skin.
"No," John snapped, shaking Rodney off him. The last thing he needed was a hard on in the middle of a market because his clueless teammate was feeling him up. "Jeeze. And it's not aftershave, it's this body wash stuff Ronon got me for my birthday. He said it was really popular on Sateda."
"Ronon gave you body wash for your birthday?" Rodney asked, appalled.
"I think he's trying to marry me off," John grumbled.
"How creepy."
"You're telling me," John agreed, keeping his voice low.
John had a feeling Ronon heard what they were saying -- which meant John's ass was grass next time they sparred -- but if he did, he didn't react. When the team paused at one of the stalls so Teyla could buy a kebab made of foul-smelling, tentacled creatures, Ronon looked at John with a bored expression and said, "She's been talking about having one of these for days."
For a brief instant, Rodney looked interested, until Ronon muttered, "Trust me, you don't want one."
Privately, John agreed with Rodney's look of horror. If Ronon thought it was gross, it must've been really disgusting.
Teyla slurped down her squid happily. They started moving again, this time because it was Ronon who had spotted something he wanted to check out. One of the merchants was selling a game that looked an awful lot like Chinese checkers, except, for some strange reason, it came with a machete. The only way Ronon was roping John into playing that was if John was drunk, that was for sure.
While Ronon haggled, John discreetly glanced at Rodney, who seemed to be eagerly looking around for something edible. It wasn't Rodney's fault he was so clueless, not really. It wasn't like John had been advertising how he felt or anything. Before, he'd decided it was just some stupid crush, and whatever, he'd get over it. Then Rodney had started dating Katie Brown, and John had realized he'd been waiting for Rodney to come around. He'd given up after the amnesia fever, but now Rodney was single again, and John had his chance -- if Rodney felt the same way, that was. Sometimes he thought Rodney did. Lately there were times when they felt so in sync, and John felt confident enough to maybe put a hand on Rodney's arm or mention how he was cool with two guys together, but they were usually ruined by Rodney saying something about Colonel Carter's boobs. John had always been pretty crappy at figuring these things out; there was a reason his only date in years had been with a lonely Ascended being.
"You know what, you're right," Rodney said. John looked at him in askance, and Rodney explained, "There has to be someone out there better for me than Katie."
John licked his lips. "Hey," he started, knowing it was a bad idea even as he said it, "you're single, I'm single, we could--"
"Do you think Teyla's looking chubby?" Rodney interrupted thoughtfully.
Even though she was a good ten feet away, Teyla's head twitched. She looked over her shoulder at them, still chewing on the head of a barbecued alien squid, and her eyes locked with John's. John clapped a hand over Rodney's mouth and threw her the most innocent smile he could muster. Rodney squeaked loudly.
"I don't know what you're talking about, McKay," John said, raising his voice.
When Teyla turned back to Ronon -- who was now offering to trade a grenade for one of the checker boards -- John dropped his hand, making a point of wiping it on his pants. Rodney didn't notice; he was busy gazing at Teyla with a familiar look on his face. John scowled. So much for Rodney being upset about his break-up. Fortunately, he was pretty sure that if Rodney asked Teyla out, she'd say no. She'd already turned down John, Ronon, Lorne, Kemp, Stackhouse, and a dozen guys offworld over the years.
Except, John remembered, straightening his back, she'd had a few dinner dates with Zelenka. Maybe Teyla was into geniuses. Maybe she got off on dating guys who she could beat up. Maybe technobabble turned her on. (It got John pretty hot.) Maybe she'd had a secret crush on Rodney for years and was waiting for Rodney to realize they were meant to be together.
"You've got to be kidding me," John said, ticked off.
"I'm saying, her boobs are huge, and she's looking distinctly... rounder," Rodney said. He gestured towards the slightly rounded tummy John had too much sense to comment on. "It's not just me, right? Tell me you're seeing this."
John felt like a moron. It must have shown on his face, because Rodney looked at him suspiciously. John glanced away before saying, "I think she's stress eating. She's been pretty upset about her people. Anyway, you'd better hope she doesn't hear you mentioning her... you know." He gestured to his own chest.
But Rodney wasn't buying it. "That is what you were talking about, isn't it?" Rodney asked. "Her putting on some weight?"
"Of course I was, what else would I be talking about?" John lied.
Rodney's eyes narrowed. "What were you about to say a moment ago?" he asked accusingly.
John said, "Uh, well," but at that moment, much to his relief, Ronon and Teyla strolled over to them. Teyla had finished her squid thing and was tucking the wooden skewer into her trouser pocket. Both their expressions were casual -- too casual. After three years, John had learned to recognize that look of forced calm. So much for an easy mission, he thought dryly.
Without taking his gaze off a couple of kids running by, passing a beaten-up ball between their feet, Ronon murmured, "We're being followed."
"For how long?" John asked quietly.
He didn't glance over his shoulder. He felt proud when Rodney didn't either, although Rodney visibly tensed, one hand clenched on the butt of his P-90. John hoped whoever was following them didn't know Rodney well enough to realize something was up.
"At least ten minutes," Teyla answered in an undertone.
Nonchalantly, John turned his head; sure enough, the blue-robed women he'd bumped into earlier was trailing behind them, almost unnoticeable in a crowd of bright pinks, greens, and magentas. He could tell it was her from the tale-tell poof of hair under her head scarf. She was leaning against a stall, pretending to be interested in some copper jewelry. As confident John was in his offworld survival skills, he wasn't sure he would've been able to spot her if Ronon and Teyla hadn't been with him.
"What do you think?" John asked.
"Ex-Genii, perhaps," said Teyla. "Although I believe I saw several of Radim's Genii purchasing butterbeers near the entrance to the market."
"Bounty hunter," Ronon said out of the side of mouth. "She's good."
"Bounty hunter?" Rodney exclaimed, as John said, "Butterbeers?"
Rodney started to turn, twisting his neck to stare at their stalker. John smacked the back of his head before he gave them away. Rodney yelped, "Ow!" and threw him a hurt look.
Ronon raised his brows, looking like he was about to laugh. "Yeah, McKay, a bounty hunter. You didn't think we were wanted by just the Genii rebels, did you?"
Rodney blanched. Risking a glance at the woman again, John found her asking the merchant about one of the copper pieces on display. Ronon was right, she was good.
"You guys got any ideas?" he asked.
"We can circle back and take care of her," Ronon grunted.
"I believe that is a bad idea," said Teyla, shaking her head. "Innocent people could be hurt. It would be best if we could lead her away from the crowd."
John spotted the entrance to an alley between two stands of bizarrely-shaped vegetables. Or maybe they were fruit; who could tell. The path led behind a series of white buildings. "Come on," he said. To Rodney, he added, "Act normal."
"I am acting normal," Rodney hissed. John rolled his eyes.
A couple of the locals looked at them weirdly when John's team casually headed down the fork in the road. Without breaking his stride, Ronon snatched a purple fruit (vegetable?) from one of the stands and tossed the owner a silver coin. As soon as they were out of sight, John flattened himself against the side of the building. Teyla and Ronon did the same, Ronon powering up his pistol. Rodney ducked behind Teyla, pulling in his shoulders to hide behind her much smaller frame.
"This is your plan?" Rodney asked flatly.
John glared at him. This time he didn't have to lift a finger; Ronon reached over Teyla's head and smacked Rodney for him.
"You know, one of these days I'm going to kick your ass," Rodney said to John, massaging the back of his head.
"Uh-huh, keep dreaming, McKay," John replied.
"Would you please be quiet?" Teyla asked sharply.
They fell silent, and just in time, because seconds later the woman rounded the corner. She froze mid-step when she saw them.
"Aw, man," she said.
John smirked, P-90 pointed directly at her belly. "Nice of you to join us."
*
"I can't believe I fell for that," the woman groaned.
Each one of John's teammates had their weapons aimed at her. One of her hands twitched towards her waist, where the layers of her dress met under a thick, blue belt before tumbling to the ground. If John was her, he would've had at least a knife tucked away there.
"Don't even think about it," John warned.
She sighed and raised her hands. "Alright, I surrender."
Her voice was kind of familiar. John frowned, but he didn't lower his P-90.
"Why're you following us?" Ronon asked gruffly.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," the woman replied, shrugging. Now John was sure he'd heard her voice before, but he couldn't figure out where. "Look, if you let me take off my head covering, it'll explain everything."
John exchanged a glance with Teyla. She tilted her head in agreement. "Okay," he told the woman, "but before you think about trying anything funny, remember you've got four--" He looked at Rodney, who seemed more nervous than anything else. "--three pissed off people pointing very dangerous weapons at your face."
"I sure wouldn't want to make you mad," said the woman sarcastically. John didn't think he liked her tone.
After he gestured for her to go ahead, she reached up and carefully removed her veil, making a show of unwrapping the layers under her chin -- revealing a smirking face he remembered all too well. She tossed her head, her long, wavy hair bouncing back into place over her shoulders. This was someone he hadn't been expecting to see any time soon, and definitely not anywhere near MX3-105.
"You!" John exclaimed.
"Hello, Sheppard," said Larrin. She put her hands on her hips, letting the veil fall to the ground in a puddle of silk.
"Who is this woman, John?" Teyla asked.
Larrin was as hot as he remembered, but a lot more unkempt; her hair was frizzy, and her nails were black with grime. This close up, her robes were wrinkled and stained, and she smelled a little. From the looks on their faces, she wasn't making the same impression on his teammates that she'd made on John the last time they'd met. Both Ronon and Teyla had an expression that said they knew she wasn't half the fierce alien princess Teyla was; she may have put on some weight, but everyone there knew Teyla could kick Larrin's ass from here to Atlantis without breaking a sweat.
"Guys, this is Larrin," John announced, crossing his arms over his chest. "She's the one who kidnapped me, had me tortured, and then made me fix her ship."
"Oh, the hot alien?" Rodney asked, gazing at her appreciatingly.
Larrin arched a brow at John. "Thanks, McKay," John said, making a face.
Ronon, meanwhile, audibly switched his gun from 'stun' to 'kill.' Teyla didn't look too happy either, and her finger lingered on the trigger of her P-90.
Larrin noticed them at the same moment John did, and she held up her dirty hands like she was trying to talk down a ferocious animal. "Sheppard, I thought we were over this. I was trying to protect my people. I eventually let you go! Friends, remember? Allies?"
"Eventually," John repeated. But she had a point; they already had enough trouble with the Wraith and the Replicators, he didn't need to add the Travelers to that list. "Stand down," he ordered his team.
"What?" Rodney asked in surprise. "But she tried to kill you. Who knows what she's trying to do now."
"I can't do anything now," Larrin retorted angrily, taking a step towards him. She stopped, her eyes going wide. She clapped a hand over her mouth.
That made John pause. "What was that?"
A line formed between her brows. "Why do you think I'm on this stupid planet?" she asked miserably. "I was kicked out. You remember Silas? He was renowned among my people. When I came home without him, people were upset, and suddenly I was on the list for the next drop off."
"Your people left you here?" asked Teyla, looking surprised.
"No, they left me on another world. I gated here."
"Why here?" John asked, as Rodney snorted and said, "It can't be for the food."
Looking torn between rage and resignation, Larrin replied, "I'm trying to build my own ship. I came to Lytle because a lot of stuff passes through the market. You'd be surprised what you can build out of a radiator, a carriage, and an old boot." She turned to John. "You're going to help me, right?"
"How about no?" John answered.
She jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "It's your fault my people left me behind."
"Is not," he retorted, pushing her hand away.
"It is and you know it."
John did feel kind of bad about it. She'd been a leader, and now she was scavenging for parts on a world she probably considered backwater, all because she'd wanted to prevent leaving her people behind. It would be like Teyla -- or worse, Elizabeth, he thought with a pang -- becoming a begger or something.
He felt his resolve crumbling. "Fine," he said. "McKay here will take a look at your ship."
"I will?" Rodney asked. He looked disappointed. "Of course I will."
Larrin crossed her arms over her chest, dragging her gaze from Rodney's toes to the top of his head. "Are you any good at fixing ships?"
Rodney puffed up. "Am I any good at fixing ships?" he repeated disbelievingly. He glanced at John and smirked; John rolled his eyes, and Ronon snorted loudly. "You obviously haven't heard of me."
Teyla curled her hand around John's elbow, drawing him aside. "Are you sure this is wise?" she asked him quietly.
"Sure." He glanced up to see Larrin and Rodney scowling at each other. "McKay will take a look at her ship, maybe fix a thing or two, and we'll head home. What could go wrong?"
Fifteen minutes later, he found out exactly what could go wrong. They were on the way to Larrin's ship when, suddenly, a line of bullets hit the ground in front of them. All five of them ducked into the enclosed patio of what John hoped was an empty house. He could hear bullets ricocheting off the stone wall immediately outside the patio; whoever it was, they were aiming for his team. Or Larrin. Since he was pretty sure his team hadn't had time to make enemies with the locals -- unless it was that checkers salesman Ronon had abandoned in the middle of a trade -- it was more likely Larrin was the cause of this.
John grabbed Larrin's arm while Ronon and Teyla fired back at whoever was shooting at them. "Who'd you piss off?" he demanded.
Larrin glared at him, wrenching her arm out of his grasp. "Nobody. We just had a little... misunderstanding."
Several more shots were fired. John and Ronon leaned out the door and aimed in the direction of the bullets. He heard Teyla saying to Rodney and Larrin, "When I give the signal, run through the house and out the front door. We will be right behind you."
Minutes later, John was following Ronon out the door of the house and into another alley. When Ronon threw himself around the next corner, John followed. Crouching, he plastered himself against the warm wall, trying to catch his breath, and noticed his team was one member short. The sounds of gunshots and shouting trailed off into the distance, away from them.
He turned to Ronon and Teyla. "Where the hell's McKay?" he demanded.
"I think he and Larrin ran the other way," Ronon said, while Teyla quietly grimaced and reloaded her weapon.
"Crap," John hissed, slamming his fist against the wall. He was pretty sure it was his turn to get rescued, not Rodney's. He should have known the second he'd seen Larrin that he was going to end up saving her ass again. She'd made him jump through hoops last time; he didn't know why he'd expected this time to be any different. This was totally making up for getting her voted off the island. He was going to make sure she understood that as soon as everyone was out of danger and his team was on their merry way.
"I am sure Rodney will be fine, John," said Teyla.
"That Larrin looks like she knows what she's doing," Ronon said.
That was a pretty big compliment coming from Ronon, who always said Teyla only beat him because she was lucky and that John's hand-to-hand skills were pathetic. John raised an eyebrow at him, and Ronon shrugged, looking faintly embarrassed. "I like her. She's like you, except more aggressive."
"Hey, I'm plenty aggressive," John said, offended.
"Okay," Ronon said, in a tone that told John he was being humoured.
Annoyed, John glanced at Teyla, but she was looking off into the distance, mouth pressed in a thin line. He was going to pretend that meant she agreed with him, even if it was more likely she was worried about Rodney. John was sure Rodney and Larrin were okay; they were just on the run from the bad guys together, alone, souped up on adrenaline...
"We need to find Rodney and get the hell out of here," John announced, jumping to his feet.
"I agree," Teyla said, chin raised high.
While heading back in the direction they'd come from, John got the impression Teyla was holding something back. And not in the way she normally refrained from saying something impolite, either; she kept opening and closing her mouth as if she was about to say something and then changing her mind.
"Okay, out with it," John prodded.
"I do not like Larrin!" Teyla declared.
John stared at her. He couldn't remember Teyla ever having said something like this before; she'd liked Michael, for Christ's sake. Her best friend had been Kate Heightmeyer.
"How come?" he asked carefully.
"It is true, John, she is very much like you. However, she seems to have all of your bad qualities and none of your good ones."
"She kind of does," Ronon admitted.
"Bad qualities?" John repeated. "Like what?"
"The whining," said Ronon.
"I don't whine!" John exclaimed.
"The arguing," Teyla noted pointedly, nodding. "The smirking, the attitude, the hair and dress inappropriate to her profession..."
"I wouldn't call 'space pirate' a profession," John replied, scratching his head. "And okay, okay, I get it. You don't like her."
He liked her, now that he thought about it. There hadn't been a lot of time to contemplate it during his capture, but when she wasn't torturing or threatening to space him, Larrin was pretty cool. She was good in a fight, she liked leather, she had nice hair... Really, there wasn't much for John to dislike there. And if they were a lot alike, so what? John was pretty cool, if he said so himself.
The sound of gunfire erupted somewhere to his left, followed by a loud cry of pain. Without even checking to make sure the rest of his team was following, John sprinted towards it, weaving through the small streets. Larrin had been handy in the fight against the Wraith while they'd been on the Ancient warship, and, rationally, he knew Rodney was a lot more competent with a gun now than he'd been a year ago, but it was John's job to make sure his teammates made it back to Atlantis safe and sound. Getting shot to pieces on an alien world because McKay had ran the wrong direction definitely wasn't John's idea of safe.
Only, when his team got there, there were five dead or unconscious guards on the ground. Rodney was standing over them, reloading his Beretta. His hair was ruffled and he was a little sweaty. He looked hot. Larrin, who was holding Rodney's P-90 (and he and Rodney were going to have to have a little talk about trusting strange alien women), seemed to think so too; she was gazing at Rodney with a look John remembered being reserved for him. He took back everything he'd said about her being cool.
"You weren't worried, were you?" Rodney asked flippantly. John scowled at him. "We decided to meet you at the puddlejumper, so we wouldn't get lost."
"'We'?" John repeated. He glared at Larrin, who smirked.
With probably a little more force than was necessary, Teyla pulled the P-90 out of Larrin's hands. Larrin gave her an innocent look.
A thought occurred to John. "The puddlejumper's the other way, McKay."
"Um, no, Mr Magoo," Rodney said, raising an eyebrow. "We parked here, right on the other side of this courtyard."
John scratched the back of his neck. He could have sworn he'd left the puddlejumper in the south of the city.
Ronon clapped him on the shoulder. "Yeah, the puddlejumper's right here. If I'd known this is where you were headed I'd've told you sooner."
"Poor sense of direction, huh, Sheppard?" Larrin asked snidely, leaning a hip against the entrance wall of the courtyard. She rubbed her hands together. "So when can McKay take a look at my ship?"
"Sorry, but I've changed my mind about helping you," John said.
Larrin straightened up. "What? You said you would!"
"Really, Colonel--" Rodney began.
"That was before you neglected to mention that you had the local authorities after you." John reached down and ripped a patch off the jacket of one of the fallen men. It was the same patch worn by the guards protecting the market.
He tossed it to Larrin, who was looking furious. "But--"
"Teyla, you're with me," he said, handing the puddlejumper controller over to Ronon.
"Hey!" Larrin shouted at his back. "You asshole."
When John and Teyla were done securing the perimeter, John headed back to find Ronon standing in the middle of the courtyard, alone except for a flock of grey birds drinking out of the fountain. After Teyla tore open her fifth powerbar in half an hour, John started to walk over to Ronon to see what was going on, but he grew a little concerned by the way the expression on Ronon's face seemed to freeze as he caught sight of him.
John approached carefully. "Hey," he started.
With warning, Ronon seized his arm and pulled him towards the far right corner. "Let's go over here," he interrupted.
"What?" John asked, craning his neck. The courtyard looked exactly the same as when they'd arrived on the planet several hours ago, from the algae-speckled fountain to the bright adobe buildings. Then he was struck with the realization he hadn't spotted McKay since he'd arrived -- and usually Rodney was the loudest and most obvious person in the room.
Alarmed, John demanded, "Ronon, what's going on?"
"Nothing, I just want to stand over here," Ronon said unconvincingly.
John, confused, let himself be dragged, up until he heard a high-pitched and slightly evil laugh coming from the direction of the parked puddlejumper. It was Larrin's laugh, and she sounded happy. Suspiciously happy, considering he'd just told her off.
Stumbling, John tried to dislodge his arm from Ronon's tight, Juggernaut-like grip. "Ronon," he hissed, and, finally, Ronon stopped, face going blank. John put his hands on his hips. "Where's McKay?"
"Dunno," Ronon said flatly. It was so obvious he was lying; he crossed his arms over his chest and gave John a gaze that was a little too steady. John would have been intimidated by that determined expression if he hadn't known it was the face Ronon always made when he thought he was going to get in trouble for something.
John opened his mouth to argue, just as a warm chuckle came from the same direction as the laugh. This one was distinctly male and all-too familiar; it was a chuckle John had heard dozens of times on dozens of worlds, almost always in response to something John had said. And just when John thought things couldn't get any worse, he heard Larrin say, "Oh, Dr McKay!"
Gritting his teeth, John growled, "What's going on?"
Ronon shuffled his feet. "He's taking a look at her toolbox."
John glared in the direction of puddlejumper. "I really hope that's not a metaphor," he said.
Ronon snickered. "McKay thinks he's going to get lucky." John's stomach twisted, and Ronon continued with, "I wonder if he's realized she's basically a girl you."
"I hope not," John muttered. That would be really depressing, if Rodney had liked him but John had just come with the wrong equipment, so to speak.
Sounding embarrassed, Ronon said, "Hey, uh, sorry. I shouldn't've said anything."
John's shoulders stiffened, but he forced himself to shrug, hoping it looked believable. "McKay can do what he wants," he said.
Ronon gave him a look that was a cross between exasperation and pity, but John was fine. He was totally fine. It wasn't like he'd lain awake nights feeling sorry for himself when McKay had been bumping uglies with Katie Brown, wondering what Rodney saw in her, with her dumb plants and her silly laugh and her stupid face, when Rodney could've had someone cool, like Elizabeth or Keller or, hey, John. That had definitely never happened. If Rodney wanted to hook up with Larrin, John couldn't have been happier for him. It was actually a relief, because now that John knew for sure nothing was going to happen between the two of them, he was free to get with whomever he wanted. It was a big galaxy; there were plenty of hot guys and girls in Atlantis he'd noticed, and who had noticed him, and hell, Ronon was kind of--
"I'm thinking about asking out Keller," Ronon said.
John deflated. "Good for you."
No one on his team wanted to sleep with him, and Larrin, the only person in the galaxy he'd kind of, maybe had considering hooking up with would rather have been with Rodney than him. John eyed Teyla and asked, "What'd you think Teyla would do if I asked her out again?"
"I think she'd eat you," Ronon said.
"Ronon, I am not deaf," Teyla called from the other side of the fountain. She bared her teeth, which had little pieces of grape filling stuck to them.
When Rodney reappeared, looking flushed and pleased with himself, John found himself clenching his hands into fists. The worst part was, smug had always been good look for Rodney; it was one of Rodney's expressions that always seemed to do it for John, regardless of the situation. John decided he should have shot Larrin when he'd had his chance on the Aurora-class ship.
Rodney headed towards his team, beaming. "Well, she hasn't had much formal schooling, and her knowledge isn't what I'd call advanced, but Larrin certainly knows a lot more than most of the people we meet in this galaxy," he announced.
He was practically glowing. Before he knew what was going on, John found himself snapping, "What about Katie Brown?"
Rodney frowned at him. "What?"
"You're moving a little fast, don't you think?"
Squinting at him in disbelief, Rodney repeated, "Moving a little--? Oh, oh no, I see what this is about!" He poked a finger in John's face, and John's anger spiked. With a triumphant smirk, Rodney said, "You're mad I stole your hot alien girlfriend, aren't you? Can't stand the idea of someone wanting me more than--"
"McKay, I don't care about Larrin," John interrupted sharply.
"You don't?" Rodney repeated dubiously. He blinked several times at John, and the expression on his face shifted.
John froze, prepared to deny everything. He should have kept his mouth shut. What was wrong with him? But before he said anything else stupid, Teyla snapped, "John!" and John heard the familiar sound of a puddlejumper powering up.
He turned to the entrance to where they'd parked in time to see the ship rising into the air. It rose and rose until she disappeared from sight, leaving John and his team on the ground, stunned into silence.
"Please tell me that didn't just happen," Rodney said finally.
John closed his eyes. "Rodney," he said, taking a deep breath, "I am going to kill you."
"I don't get it, how'd she pilot it without the gene?" Ronon asked.
When John opened his eyes again, Rodney was looking sheepish. "I may have, ah, showed her the autopilot, now that you mention it," he said, sounding nervous.
"It is a very, very long walk to the gate," Teyla reminded them. She looked annoyed.
John took a step towards Rodney, and Teyla's hands shot out as she quickly moved between them, signalling John to stop. "John, it is not Rodney's fault," she said, but that didn't make him want to maim McKay any less.
"Yes, listen to her," said Rodney, edging closer to Ronon, who mostly looked amused. "I was clearly taken advantage of by that horrible, no good--"
"You were thinking with your dick, that's what you mean," John seethed. He put his head in his hands. "Dammit, Rodney!"
"If we are going to be here for a while, I would like to go back to the market and get lunch," Teyla announced, throwing both John and Rodney glares.
"That sounds like a good idea," Ronon agreed. He locked gazes with John. "You two going to be okay here?"
John let out a long breath through his nose. Murdering your friend was bad, he remind himself. "Yeah," he bit out. "I'll call you when Colonel Carter contacts us through the gate."
Ronon and Teyla took off and John walked to the fountain and sat down heavily, not even caring about the green algae that was going to stain his second-to-last pair of BDUs. He thought about all the horrible ways Larrin was going to ruin his ship, like gutting her to make whatever kind of private shuttles the Travelers used, or worse, selling her for scrap. That had been his third favourite puddlejumper, too. This was why he never got nice things; if it wasn't Lorne getting his Ancient warship blown up, it was Rodney letting hot aliens steal his puddlejumpers.
"Look, John, I'm sorry, okay?" Rodney said, taking a seat beside him. "I thought-- I thought she liked me."
"Yeah, well, welcome to the club," John said bitterly.
"She did it to you too, eh?" Rodney asked, sighing.
"Yeah, but that wasn't what I--" John stopped himself before he finished that thought. He shook his head roughly. "Nevermind. It's not important."
It was a good two hours until they were due to check in, which meant it would probably be closer to five by the time Carter made contact, found an available gene-carrier, and got someone to pick them up. John stretched out his legs and tried to ignore the way Rodney was fidgeting beside him, because when he was this mad, Rodney wasn't cute.
"I have a confession," Rodney blurted, and John tilted his head and squinted at him. "You were right when you said I was moving fast. When Katie broke up with me, I realized she wasn't the person I really wanted to be with. Don't get me wrong, being dumped was still painful and humiliating, but I guess... I'm not as upset as I should be. Larrin's not-- we're not-- It was just some harmless flirting. She reminded me of someone I've been, well, interested in for a while now."
"She reminded you of someone you're interested in?" John repeated slowly.
His mouth was dry. If Larrin reminded Rodney of anyone, it would have been John. Teyla and Ronon had both said Larrin was just like him. An annoying, space pirate, girl version of him, and there was no way Rodney meant anyone else, unless there was another girl him wandering around Atlantis.
"Yes, so if you want to get with her, I'm not going to stop you," Rodney continued bravely, unaware John was onto him.
John licked his lips. "I don't care about Larrin."
Rodney frowned. "Yes, you said that before."
"Rodney," John said, looking at him pointedly, "I don't care about Larrin."
Heart pounding, he lifted the hand that had been resting on the fountain and placed it on Rodney's knee.
Rodney stared at John's hand on his knee for a long moment. His cheeks turned pink, and he said, "Of course not. I-- I knew that. I would have to be an idiot not to realize that."
Feeling suddenly, stupidly thrilled, John started to laugh. Rodney raised his head and grinned at him crookedly, covering John's hand with his.
By the time Teyla and Ronon returned an hour later, John and Rodney had come to an understanding over the whole Larrin thing. Maybe next time he ran into her, John decided, while Ronon smirked at them knowingly and Teyla offered to share her popcorn shrimp, he'd tell her to keep the puddlejumper.