Fic: Seduction (implied Sheppard/Weir, Sheppard/OFC, PG-13)
Title: Seduction
Author: lissax
Recipient: seramercury
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Humor
Pairings: implied John/Elizabeth, semiconsensual John/Cassia (OC)
Spoilers: "Hot Zone"
Summary: After angering an alien woman, John is forced to deal with her a second time.
*
The first time John met Cassia, she'd tried to come on to him. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as far as he was concerned, but he felt obliged to point out to her that she wasn't the first woman he'd slept with. That seemed to put her off.
Still, he wasn't exactly pleased to hear that they were going to be heading back to Cassia's planet for diplomatic relations.
"She's not the greatest person," he said to Elizabeth as he followed her from the control room to her office. "I don't think we should trust her."
"Didn't you sleep with her?" said Elizabeth primly. She wasn't looking at him.
"I don't think she likes me."
"Doesn't mean she won't like me." Elizabeth gave him a small, dry smile. "You're not participating in the negotiations, Major. As much as I trust you, I don't think you're really suited for it."
John grimaced. Was she still bitter about the whole not-following-orders thing when they encountered that disease?
"Are you ready to go?" Elizabeth continued, raising a brow at him.
"Uh, yes." John glanced down at the P-90 that was already strapped to his vest. "I'm all set."
"Shall we?" Elizabeth waved him out of her office. Sighing, John headed to the control room and then into the 'Gate room, where Ford, McKay, and Teyla were all waiting patiently.
"Dr. Weir," said Teyla as they entered. "Major Sheppard. Are we leaving?"
"I'm sorry, have I been keeping you waiting?" Elizabeth nodded up at the 'Gate technician, who started to dial. "I got called down to Dr. Zelenka's lab at the last second. Apparently Dr. McKay will need to pay him a visit when we get back."
McKay hesitated even as the 'Gate flushed open. "Shouldn't I go now?"
"It can wait," said Elizabeth firmly.
They walked through the Stargate in a procession, John making sure he went before Elizabeth or McKay. Just in case.
"I will not speak with him."
Elizabeth held up her hands. "You don't have to. I'm here to speak with you. This is just my escort." She nodded back to John's team.
Cassia shot John a dark look, but nodded. "I will speak with you alone, then. My quarters are this way." She pointed.
John frowned. That wasn't the way to her quarters, as far as he could recall. Was it? Maybe he was remembering wrong.
"You hold negotiations in your quarters?" Elizabeth said, looking surprised.
"Of course. Why, where do you hold them?" Cassia started walking, and Elizabeth followed her, leaving the team standing in the middle of a grand hallway with no benches or chairs.
"You are staring," Teyla remarked from behind John.
He jumped. "What? No, I'm not," he protested, though he had been watching Elizabeth closely. He just didn't want her to get into trouble. "Should we be letting them go alone?"
"That is Dr. Weir's decision," said Teyla sternly.
"I dunno, Teyla," said Ford cautiously. "Cassia's got a weird look in her eye. And aren't we supposed to be here to protect Dr. Weir?"
"Yeah, we are," said John with a sigh, "but I kinda doubt she'd appreciate it if we came barging after her."
"What, so you're following orders now?" McKay's tone was snide.
John glared at him. "Shut up, McKay."
"I'm just saying, 'cause the last time you disobeyed her she got pretty -"
"I said shut up!" John leaned back against the wall and glared at the floor. An awkward silence fell.
After a while, Ford spoke up again. "How long d'you think this will take?"
"Could be minutes, could be hours," said McKay dimly. "Depends on how much they have to bargain and whether or not Cassia kicks Weir out in a flying rage."
John winced at the memory of his departure from Cassia's quarters. "My bet's on the flying rage," he muttered.
"What exactly did happen between you two, anyway?" said McKay.
John glanced at him. The scientist's curiosity seemed genuine, anyway. "Oh, well... she wanted to, um... you know. So I did, but then she was acting like that made me belong to her, and I told her no, she wasn't even the first girl I'd... you know."
"And that was when she kicked you out?" Ford shook his head. "That's harsh, sir."
"I'm aware of that, Lieutenant," said John dryly.
"Are they coming back already?" said Teyla after another moment of silence. She straightened and looked in the direction the women had left in. "I hear footsteps."
A moment later, Elizabeth emerged from around a corner and approached them, looking rather grim.
"Where's Cassia?" John asked warily.
"She decided not to return. Apparently she doesn't want to lay eyes on you again," Elizabeth explained.
"And the negotiations?" Teyla prompted. "You've finished so soon."
"Well, not so much finished as failed to come to a compromise," said Elizabeth wryly. "Cassia wants to have John's head on a platter, or something like that."
John swallowed. "I assume you denied her request."
"She asked me to leave, very politely. I think she was trying to make a good impression to counter what we'd learned from her time with you," Elizabeth replied. "It's probably a good time for us to leave, though."
As he preceded the others out of the castle and into the village that Cassia ruled over, John mulled over Elizabeth's words. He couldn't remember telling her how Cassia had kicked him out, but maybe one of his teammates had mentioned it. He'd have to have a talk with McKay about that.
They made it back in time for lunch, so the team met in the mess hall to discuss the day's events.
"Do any of you think Dr. Weir is acting a bit unusual after her encounter with Cassia?" Teyla queried.
"She's a very unusual woman," John pointed out.
"Who, Cassia or Weir?" said Ford, looking confused.
"Both, but I meant Cassia, specifically."
"In Weir's defense, I think Major Sheppard was acting pretty strangely for a while after the first thing with Cassia," said McKay dryly.
"Are you suggesting Cassia slept with Weir?" said John, incredulous.
"No, of course not. They couldn't possibly have had sex in that short a time."
"And you would know this because...?"
"Is it really necessary to have this conversation?" Teyla interrupted, before McKay could say anything else.
"I don't think Cassia would try that on Weir," said Ford decisively. "And if she did, Weir would be the one kicking ass."
"Wish she had," John muttered. "Cassia'd deserve it."
Teyla frowned at him. "I think you are being too harsh, Major. Dr. Weir!" she added, and John turned around to see Elizabeth standing behind him with a smile and a tray of food.
"May I join you?" the diplomat asked.
"Of course." Teyla returned the other woman's smile, and John wondered who'd put the Athosian in charge of the table.
Elizabeth sat down in the empty chair on John's right. "I'm sorry you were dragged off to Cassia's castle for nothing," she told them. "Things didn't really go as planned."
John tried to think when he'd last heard Elizabeth say they were dragged off somewhere. And hadn't she done the dragging?
"Things rarely go as planned," Teyla responded.
"True." Elizabeth took an audible gulp from her water bottle. "Maybe it will go better the next time we try something like this."
"Maybe," said John carefully. He exchanged a glance with Teyla. This did seem a little strange, and not in the way he remembered acting after his own encounter with Cassia.
Silence fell as they all commenced eating. It wasn't until they had mostly finished their meal that Ford finally said, "Dr. Weir... Cassia didn't try to seduce you, did she?"
"Has he been wondering that since you brought it up?" John murmured into McKay's ear.
"You're the one who brought it up," McKay hissed back at him.
Elizabeth was chuckling. "No, Lieutenant, she didn't. I'm not sure she's into women."
"How do you know?" John challenged.
Elizabeth shrugged. "She didn't seem to be. Also, she seduced you." She smiled thinly at John and stood up with her tray. "I'll see you all later. Oh, and John, I'd like to talk to you tonight. I'll stop by this evening, if that's all right with you?"
John blinked. "Um, okay?" Was she flirting with him? That smirk certainly seemed to suggest it - and had she just winked at him?
"Since when are you on first name terms with her?" McKay demanded when Elizabeth had left.
"I'm not," said John. But I am in my head. "Not since the lockdown, at least. We might've gotten close to it before then."
"Something is wrong," Teyla stated. She stood up. "I think I will speak with her and see if I can find out."
"Let me know if Cassia's brainwashed her or something," said John, grimacing a little as he thought of the smirk and the wink. Of course, truth be told, he wouldn't mind being seduced by Elizabeth...
He didn't hear from Teyla that evening. By the time he returned to his quarters to settle down for the night, he'd nearly forgotten about the whole thing with Elizabeth. But then there was a knock at his door.
Elizabeth smiled at him when he opened it. "Good evening, John."
"Dr. Weir," he said carefully. "What did you need to talk to me about?"
"Oh, Elizabeth is fine," she said airily, and to his surprise, she perched on the edge of his bed. "I have some unfinished business with you."
"What kind of business?" said John warily. "And what happened to your being mad at me?"
"I was never mad at you," Elizabeth protested. "I was just... a little annoyed. Those feelings pass."
The way she was talking was strange, very sweet and almost sly. John thought her voice sounded nice that way, but it wasn't like her.
"Anyway..." Elizabeth stood up and took a step closer to him, eying him in what was definitely a sexual manner, "I thought we might take this opportunity to... settle our differences." She took another step and reached past him towards the door panel. The door slid shut.
John swallowed. "Elizabeth, I really don't think this is a good idea." Her name sounded strange but right on his lips.
"Why not?"
"We could get in trouble. I could get in trouble," John amended when she raised a brow at him. "I don't know about you."
"You're worried about trouble?" Elizabeth gave a little pout and slipped her hands under his shirt, caressing gently. "John, I'm surprised at you."
"Hey, just because I get seduced by every hot alien woman we meet doesn't mean I... ohh." John let out a little high-pitched sound as one of her hands dropped lower. "No, we really... really shouldn't."
Elizabeth shut him up by pressing her lips to his. They were warm and somehow familiar, but his brain was hardly functioning at this point. He touched back, finding her shirt and starting to remove it.
The slap caught him off guard. Staggering backward, John fell against the wall and clutched his now-aching head in one hand. He blinked up at Elizabeth, slowly, not comprehending the sudden anger in her face.
"How dare you!" she hissed at him. "You would lead me on only to tell me I was just another of your conquests!"
Now that sounded familiar. John groaned. "Cassia?"
"You deserve worse than this," Elizabeth/Cassia growled, and kicked him. He managed just in time to protect his sensitive areas with his hands. "If I were a more vengeful person, I would kill you."
"Oh, I think this is pretty vengeful," said John, hastily but not without a hint of cynicism.
Elizabeth/Cassia let out a wordless cry of fury and descended upon him. By the time she'd finished with him, he lay panting on the floor, covered in bruises and scratches from her fingernails, which were probably longer than those of the real Elizabeth. He groaned, hardly able to move.
"I don't think I'll be seeing you again," she said, and left the room.
He wasn't sure how long he lay there, unable to so much as open his eyes. Eventually, he heard footsteps approaching his open door.
"Major Sheppard?" said Teyla's voice, and then, with more urgency, "Major! Are you all right?"
"Do I look all right?" John muttered, grimacing.
Teyla's hands touched his arms, but he moaned as she encountered bruises.
"Gah! Please don't."
"I am sorry," said Teyla quickly. "I will call Dr. Beckett. What happened?"
"Elizabeth... isn't Elizabeth," said John, breathing heavily. "She's Cassia disguised as Elizabeth. That's why she was acting funny."
Teyla groaned softly. "And she seduced you in order to take her revenge?"
"Something like that." John licked his dry lips. "Listen, I'll be okay. I just gotta get up off my ass and... ughh." He sat up slowly, wincing at the pounding headache and everything else that was also aching.
He almost cried out when his radio crackled in his ear, setting off a sharp pain in his temple. "Major Sheppard to the control room. Unscheduled 'Gate activation."
"Perhaps it is Elizabeth," said Teyla softly. She offered John her hand, and he took it gratefully, allowing her to help him to his feet. "But I should take you to Dr. Beckett immediately afterwards. You are covered in blood."
"Fingernails," John rasped, and stumbled out of his quarters, Teyla trailing behind him and supporting him carefully with one hand.
"Holy crap, Sheppard, what happened to you?" said McKay as they entered the control room.
"Cassia," said John bluntly. "What's up?"
"But Cassia's back on the other planet!" McKay protested.
"We're receiving Dr. Weir's IDC, sir," said the tech. "But she's already here."
"No, that's Cassia. Let her through," said John tiredly. Teyla put a little more pressure on his back as his legs weakened briefly and he almost lost his balance. "And for heaven's sake someone tell them to stand down."
He meant the marines in the 'Gate room, and Ford, standing nearby, went down the steps to do just that as the shield disappeared.
Moments later, Elizabeth Weir stepped through the Stargate. As it shut down behind her, she strode forward and up the stairs, looking distinctly displeased about something.
"What the hell has that woman done?" she demanded.
"She attacked Major Sheppard," Teyla explained. "I do not know where she is now, but she is disguised as you."
"What happened?" McKay wanted to know.
Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her head. "As soon as she closed the door behind us, she started ranting at me about how Sheppard had wronged her. Then she clubbed me over the head with something hard. I just woke up a little while ago and saw myself out."
"Yeah," said John, closing his eyes briefly. "She's just looking for trouble."
"I was wondering why your - her radio wasn't working," said Ford thoughtfully.
"And she was acting funny at lunch," McKay commented. "And here I just figured she'd brainwashed you or something."
"Just brainwashed?" Elizabeth repeated, giving him a look.
McKay flushed and muttered something under his breath. Teyla spoke up.
"You should both go to the infirmary. Dr. Beckett will want to see to your head, Dr. Weir," she said.
"And Major Sheppard is clearly not in very good shape either," said Elizabeth. "I'll take him, Teyla. You find Cassia and get her locked up so she can be dealt with later."
John felt Elizabeth's hand touch his elbow, and then she was steering him out of the control room. He opened his eyes slowly, just in case she couldn't steer him well enough to avoid all the walls.
"So how did she manage to do this to you?" Elizabeth murmured into his ear. "Usually you can at least hold your own against an opponent, or so Teyla tells me."
"She took me by surprise," John muttered. "I wasn't expecting it. I thought she was you!"
"I see." By Elizabeth's skeptical tone, he thought she could guess what had actually happened, even though Teyla had conveniently left out the fact that he'd been seduced. "We'll talk later, Major. And don't forget about the report you'll have to file."
John groaned. "About this? It's not even a mission!"
"I want to know everything," Elizabeth replied stoically. "No arguments, Sheppard."
She visited him in the infirmary about two days later, after Beckett had mostly patched him up and proclaimed him fit for duty - in a few more days.
"I'm fine now," John was saying to the doctor when Elizabeth came in. "Why can't I go back to my quarters?"
"I can't guarantee you'll rest in your quarters," the Scot replied. "Good morning, Dr. Weir."
"How's the patient?" she said with a smile.
"Weren't you supposed to be in here too?" John said plaintively. The last thing he remembered from the day this happened was collapsing onto a bed and passing out.
Elizabeth shook her head. "Apparently I didn't even get a concussion. She must not have hit me very hard. Doctor?"
"He'll be fine," said Beckett with a wry grin, "but he should keep resting for a few more days, give the wounds time to heal."
"They're scratches!"
"Aye, but some of them are very deep, and you've still got some bruises," said Beckett sternly. "Bed rest for you, my lad."
Elizabeth chuckled as Beckett walked away, and then she pulled up a chair next to John's bed. "So I take it you're feeling better?"
John rubbed his head. "Still a little achy," he admitted. "I just don't like the infirmary."
"Well, maybe I can convince him to release you to your quarters tonight. I presume you won't make me assign a guard to ensure that you stay where you're supposed to," said Elizabeth, with a glint in her eye.
"Look, can we stop it with the not-following-orders thing?" John pleaded. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll try to do better next time."
"See that you do." Elizabeth sat up a little straighter. "So, Major. What happened with Cassia?"
"Do I have to tell you now? I thought I was writing a report."
"Oh, that's for posterity," said Elizabeth, rather wickedly, John thought. "But I'm curious. How did she manage to get you in a position where she could torture you so thoroughly?"
John sighed and leaned his head back against the pillow. "She took me by surprise, I told you."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And you were doing what when this happened?"
"Uh... I was about to go to bed when she came into my quarters..." John hesitated, and Elizabeth's eyebrow went even higher. "I didn't know you could raise one eyebrow that well."
"You're avoiding the question."
"She seduced me, okay? I'm really... not good at not... getting seduced," said John, somewhat lamely.
"You do realize what that implies?" Elizabeth said delicately.
"What, my getting seduced?" said John defensively. "It's not the first time."
"And I'm sure it won't be the last, but I meant the part where you thought she was me." Elizabeth's voice was very dry.
John groaned. "Why are you even asking me this? You obviously knew already. So you're an attractive woman, okay? You have to know that."
Elizabeth hemmed briefly. "I don't think I'm really the right person to judge my own attractiveness," she commented. "But that's beside the point. I shouldn't have to remind you that there are some very good reasons people like us should stay just friends."
"I tried to tell her that!" John protested. "She ignored me. And then she started to take my shirt off. What was I supposed to do?"
"Push her away and kick her out of your room?"
John swallowed. She had a good point, but of course, he'd wanted to have sex with her. In fact, he still felt the tiniest bit disappointed that it hadn't happened - that it hadn't been Elizabeth.
"I'm just warning you in case something like this happens again," Elizabeth continued. "For now, I can forgive you for the mishap. But perhaps I should suggest that you work on avoiding seduction in the first place."
"Right," said John faintly.
Then, to his utter shock, Elizabeth reached out to take his hand and squeeze it. "Relax, John. I'm not mad at you. Not at the moment, anyway." She stood up to go.
"Does this mean we're on first-name terms again?" said John hopefully.
Elizabeth turned and gave him that look before walking out of the infirmary.
Author: lissax
Recipient: seramercury
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Humor
Pairings: implied John/Elizabeth, semiconsensual John/Cassia (OC)
Spoilers: "Hot Zone"
Summary: After angering an alien woman, John is forced to deal with her a second time.
*
The first time John met Cassia, she'd tried to come on to him. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, as far as he was concerned, but he felt obliged to point out to her that she wasn't the first woman he'd slept with. That seemed to put her off.
Still, he wasn't exactly pleased to hear that they were going to be heading back to Cassia's planet for diplomatic relations.
"She's not the greatest person," he said to Elizabeth as he followed her from the control room to her office. "I don't think we should trust her."
"Didn't you sleep with her?" said Elizabeth primly. She wasn't looking at him.
"I don't think she likes me."
"Doesn't mean she won't like me." Elizabeth gave him a small, dry smile. "You're not participating in the negotiations, Major. As much as I trust you, I don't think you're really suited for it."
John grimaced. Was she still bitter about the whole not-following-orders thing when they encountered that disease?
"Are you ready to go?" Elizabeth continued, raising a brow at him.
"Uh, yes." John glanced down at the P-90 that was already strapped to his vest. "I'm all set."
"Shall we?" Elizabeth waved him out of her office. Sighing, John headed to the control room and then into the 'Gate room, where Ford, McKay, and Teyla were all waiting patiently.
"Dr. Weir," said Teyla as they entered. "Major Sheppard. Are we leaving?"
"I'm sorry, have I been keeping you waiting?" Elizabeth nodded up at the 'Gate technician, who started to dial. "I got called down to Dr. Zelenka's lab at the last second. Apparently Dr. McKay will need to pay him a visit when we get back."
McKay hesitated even as the 'Gate flushed open. "Shouldn't I go now?"
"It can wait," said Elizabeth firmly.
They walked through the Stargate in a procession, John making sure he went before Elizabeth or McKay. Just in case.
"I will not speak with him."
Elizabeth held up her hands. "You don't have to. I'm here to speak with you. This is just my escort." She nodded back to John's team.
Cassia shot John a dark look, but nodded. "I will speak with you alone, then. My quarters are this way." She pointed.
John frowned. That wasn't the way to her quarters, as far as he could recall. Was it? Maybe he was remembering wrong.
"You hold negotiations in your quarters?" Elizabeth said, looking surprised.
"Of course. Why, where do you hold them?" Cassia started walking, and Elizabeth followed her, leaving the team standing in the middle of a grand hallway with no benches or chairs.
"You are staring," Teyla remarked from behind John.
He jumped. "What? No, I'm not," he protested, though he had been watching Elizabeth closely. He just didn't want her to get into trouble. "Should we be letting them go alone?"
"That is Dr. Weir's decision," said Teyla sternly.
"I dunno, Teyla," said Ford cautiously. "Cassia's got a weird look in her eye. And aren't we supposed to be here to protect Dr. Weir?"
"Yeah, we are," said John with a sigh, "but I kinda doubt she'd appreciate it if we came barging after her."
"What, so you're following orders now?" McKay's tone was snide.
John glared at him. "Shut up, McKay."
"I'm just saying, 'cause the last time you disobeyed her she got pretty -"
"I said shut up!" John leaned back against the wall and glared at the floor. An awkward silence fell.
After a while, Ford spoke up again. "How long d'you think this will take?"
"Could be minutes, could be hours," said McKay dimly. "Depends on how much they have to bargain and whether or not Cassia kicks Weir out in a flying rage."
John winced at the memory of his departure from Cassia's quarters. "My bet's on the flying rage," he muttered.
"What exactly did happen between you two, anyway?" said McKay.
John glanced at him. The scientist's curiosity seemed genuine, anyway. "Oh, well... she wanted to, um... you know. So I did, but then she was acting like that made me belong to her, and I told her no, she wasn't even the first girl I'd... you know."
"And that was when she kicked you out?" Ford shook his head. "That's harsh, sir."
"I'm aware of that, Lieutenant," said John dryly.
"Are they coming back already?" said Teyla after another moment of silence. She straightened and looked in the direction the women had left in. "I hear footsteps."
A moment later, Elizabeth emerged from around a corner and approached them, looking rather grim.
"Where's Cassia?" John asked warily.
"She decided not to return. Apparently she doesn't want to lay eyes on you again," Elizabeth explained.
"And the negotiations?" Teyla prompted. "You've finished so soon."
"Well, not so much finished as failed to come to a compromise," said Elizabeth wryly. "Cassia wants to have John's head on a platter, or something like that."
John swallowed. "I assume you denied her request."
"She asked me to leave, very politely. I think she was trying to make a good impression to counter what we'd learned from her time with you," Elizabeth replied. "It's probably a good time for us to leave, though."
As he preceded the others out of the castle and into the village that Cassia ruled over, John mulled over Elizabeth's words. He couldn't remember telling her how Cassia had kicked him out, but maybe one of his teammates had mentioned it. He'd have to have a talk with McKay about that.
They made it back in time for lunch, so the team met in the mess hall to discuss the day's events.
"Do any of you think Dr. Weir is acting a bit unusual after her encounter with Cassia?" Teyla queried.
"She's a very unusual woman," John pointed out.
"Who, Cassia or Weir?" said Ford, looking confused.
"Both, but I meant Cassia, specifically."
"In Weir's defense, I think Major Sheppard was acting pretty strangely for a while after the first thing with Cassia," said McKay dryly.
"Are you suggesting Cassia slept with Weir?" said John, incredulous.
"No, of course not. They couldn't possibly have had sex in that short a time."
"And you would know this because...?"
"Is it really necessary to have this conversation?" Teyla interrupted, before McKay could say anything else.
"I don't think Cassia would try that on Weir," said Ford decisively. "And if she did, Weir would be the one kicking ass."
"Wish she had," John muttered. "Cassia'd deserve it."
Teyla frowned at him. "I think you are being too harsh, Major. Dr. Weir!" she added, and John turned around to see Elizabeth standing behind him with a smile and a tray of food.
"May I join you?" the diplomat asked.
"Of course." Teyla returned the other woman's smile, and John wondered who'd put the Athosian in charge of the table.
Elizabeth sat down in the empty chair on John's right. "I'm sorry you were dragged off to Cassia's castle for nothing," she told them. "Things didn't really go as planned."
John tried to think when he'd last heard Elizabeth say they were dragged off somewhere. And hadn't she done the dragging?
"Things rarely go as planned," Teyla responded.
"True." Elizabeth took an audible gulp from her water bottle. "Maybe it will go better the next time we try something like this."
"Maybe," said John carefully. He exchanged a glance with Teyla. This did seem a little strange, and not in the way he remembered acting after his own encounter with Cassia.
Silence fell as they all commenced eating. It wasn't until they had mostly finished their meal that Ford finally said, "Dr. Weir... Cassia didn't try to seduce you, did she?"
"Has he been wondering that since you brought it up?" John murmured into McKay's ear.
"You're the one who brought it up," McKay hissed back at him.
Elizabeth was chuckling. "No, Lieutenant, she didn't. I'm not sure she's into women."
"How do you know?" John challenged.
Elizabeth shrugged. "She didn't seem to be. Also, she seduced you." She smiled thinly at John and stood up with her tray. "I'll see you all later. Oh, and John, I'd like to talk to you tonight. I'll stop by this evening, if that's all right with you?"
John blinked. "Um, okay?" Was she flirting with him? That smirk certainly seemed to suggest it - and had she just winked at him?
"Since when are you on first name terms with her?" McKay demanded when Elizabeth had left.
"I'm not," said John. But I am in my head. "Not since the lockdown, at least. We might've gotten close to it before then."
"Something is wrong," Teyla stated. She stood up. "I think I will speak with her and see if I can find out."
"Let me know if Cassia's brainwashed her or something," said John, grimacing a little as he thought of the smirk and the wink. Of course, truth be told, he wouldn't mind being seduced by Elizabeth...
He didn't hear from Teyla that evening. By the time he returned to his quarters to settle down for the night, he'd nearly forgotten about the whole thing with Elizabeth. But then there was a knock at his door.
Elizabeth smiled at him when he opened it. "Good evening, John."
"Dr. Weir," he said carefully. "What did you need to talk to me about?"
"Oh, Elizabeth is fine," she said airily, and to his surprise, she perched on the edge of his bed. "I have some unfinished business with you."
"What kind of business?" said John warily. "And what happened to your being mad at me?"
"I was never mad at you," Elizabeth protested. "I was just... a little annoyed. Those feelings pass."
The way she was talking was strange, very sweet and almost sly. John thought her voice sounded nice that way, but it wasn't like her.
"Anyway..." Elizabeth stood up and took a step closer to him, eying him in what was definitely a sexual manner, "I thought we might take this opportunity to... settle our differences." She took another step and reached past him towards the door panel. The door slid shut.
John swallowed. "Elizabeth, I really don't think this is a good idea." Her name sounded strange but right on his lips.
"Why not?"
"We could get in trouble. I could get in trouble," John amended when she raised a brow at him. "I don't know about you."
"You're worried about trouble?" Elizabeth gave a little pout and slipped her hands under his shirt, caressing gently. "John, I'm surprised at you."
"Hey, just because I get seduced by every hot alien woman we meet doesn't mean I... ohh." John let out a little high-pitched sound as one of her hands dropped lower. "No, we really... really shouldn't."
Elizabeth shut him up by pressing her lips to his. They were warm and somehow familiar, but his brain was hardly functioning at this point. He touched back, finding her shirt and starting to remove it.
The slap caught him off guard. Staggering backward, John fell against the wall and clutched his now-aching head in one hand. He blinked up at Elizabeth, slowly, not comprehending the sudden anger in her face.
"How dare you!" she hissed at him. "You would lead me on only to tell me I was just another of your conquests!"
Now that sounded familiar. John groaned. "Cassia?"
"You deserve worse than this," Elizabeth/Cassia growled, and kicked him. He managed just in time to protect his sensitive areas with his hands. "If I were a more vengeful person, I would kill you."
"Oh, I think this is pretty vengeful," said John, hastily but not without a hint of cynicism.
Elizabeth/Cassia let out a wordless cry of fury and descended upon him. By the time she'd finished with him, he lay panting on the floor, covered in bruises and scratches from her fingernails, which were probably longer than those of the real Elizabeth. He groaned, hardly able to move.
"I don't think I'll be seeing you again," she said, and left the room.
He wasn't sure how long he lay there, unable to so much as open his eyes. Eventually, he heard footsteps approaching his open door.
"Major Sheppard?" said Teyla's voice, and then, with more urgency, "Major! Are you all right?"
"Do I look all right?" John muttered, grimacing.
Teyla's hands touched his arms, but he moaned as she encountered bruises.
"Gah! Please don't."
"I am sorry," said Teyla quickly. "I will call Dr. Beckett. What happened?"
"Elizabeth... isn't Elizabeth," said John, breathing heavily. "She's Cassia disguised as Elizabeth. That's why she was acting funny."
Teyla groaned softly. "And she seduced you in order to take her revenge?"
"Something like that." John licked his dry lips. "Listen, I'll be okay. I just gotta get up off my ass and... ughh." He sat up slowly, wincing at the pounding headache and everything else that was also aching.
He almost cried out when his radio crackled in his ear, setting off a sharp pain in his temple. "Major Sheppard to the control room. Unscheduled 'Gate activation."
"Perhaps it is Elizabeth," said Teyla softly. She offered John her hand, and he took it gratefully, allowing her to help him to his feet. "But I should take you to Dr. Beckett immediately afterwards. You are covered in blood."
"Fingernails," John rasped, and stumbled out of his quarters, Teyla trailing behind him and supporting him carefully with one hand.
"Holy crap, Sheppard, what happened to you?" said McKay as they entered the control room.
"Cassia," said John bluntly. "What's up?"
"But Cassia's back on the other planet!" McKay protested.
"We're receiving Dr. Weir's IDC, sir," said the tech. "But she's already here."
"No, that's Cassia. Let her through," said John tiredly. Teyla put a little more pressure on his back as his legs weakened briefly and he almost lost his balance. "And for heaven's sake someone tell them to stand down."
He meant the marines in the 'Gate room, and Ford, standing nearby, went down the steps to do just that as the shield disappeared.
Moments later, Elizabeth Weir stepped through the Stargate. As it shut down behind her, she strode forward and up the stairs, looking distinctly displeased about something.
"What the hell has that woman done?" she demanded.
"She attacked Major Sheppard," Teyla explained. "I do not know where she is now, but she is disguised as you."
"What happened?" McKay wanted to know.
Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her head. "As soon as she closed the door behind us, she started ranting at me about how Sheppard had wronged her. Then she clubbed me over the head with something hard. I just woke up a little while ago and saw myself out."
"Yeah," said John, closing his eyes briefly. "She's just looking for trouble."
"I was wondering why your - her radio wasn't working," said Ford thoughtfully.
"And she was acting funny at lunch," McKay commented. "And here I just figured she'd brainwashed you or something."
"Just brainwashed?" Elizabeth repeated, giving him a look.
McKay flushed and muttered something under his breath. Teyla spoke up.
"You should both go to the infirmary. Dr. Beckett will want to see to your head, Dr. Weir," she said.
"And Major Sheppard is clearly not in very good shape either," said Elizabeth. "I'll take him, Teyla. You find Cassia and get her locked up so she can be dealt with later."
John felt Elizabeth's hand touch his elbow, and then she was steering him out of the control room. He opened his eyes slowly, just in case she couldn't steer him well enough to avoid all the walls.
"So how did she manage to do this to you?" Elizabeth murmured into his ear. "Usually you can at least hold your own against an opponent, or so Teyla tells me."
"She took me by surprise," John muttered. "I wasn't expecting it. I thought she was you!"
"I see." By Elizabeth's skeptical tone, he thought she could guess what had actually happened, even though Teyla had conveniently left out the fact that he'd been seduced. "We'll talk later, Major. And don't forget about the report you'll have to file."
John groaned. "About this? It's not even a mission!"
"I want to know everything," Elizabeth replied stoically. "No arguments, Sheppard."
She visited him in the infirmary about two days later, after Beckett had mostly patched him up and proclaimed him fit for duty - in a few more days.
"I'm fine now," John was saying to the doctor when Elizabeth came in. "Why can't I go back to my quarters?"
"I can't guarantee you'll rest in your quarters," the Scot replied. "Good morning, Dr. Weir."
"How's the patient?" she said with a smile.
"Weren't you supposed to be in here too?" John said plaintively. The last thing he remembered from the day this happened was collapsing onto a bed and passing out.
Elizabeth shook her head. "Apparently I didn't even get a concussion. She must not have hit me very hard. Doctor?"
"He'll be fine," said Beckett with a wry grin, "but he should keep resting for a few more days, give the wounds time to heal."
"They're scratches!"
"Aye, but some of them are very deep, and you've still got some bruises," said Beckett sternly. "Bed rest for you, my lad."
Elizabeth chuckled as Beckett walked away, and then she pulled up a chair next to John's bed. "So I take it you're feeling better?"
John rubbed his head. "Still a little achy," he admitted. "I just don't like the infirmary."
"Well, maybe I can convince him to release you to your quarters tonight. I presume you won't make me assign a guard to ensure that you stay where you're supposed to," said Elizabeth, with a glint in her eye.
"Look, can we stop it with the not-following-orders thing?" John pleaded. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll try to do better next time."
"See that you do." Elizabeth sat up a little straighter. "So, Major. What happened with Cassia?"
"Do I have to tell you now? I thought I was writing a report."
"Oh, that's for posterity," said Elizabeth, rather wickedly, John thought. "But I'm curious. How did she manage to get you in a position where she could torture you so thoroughly?"
John sighed and leaned his head back against the pillow. "She took me by surprise, I told you."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And you were doing what when this happened?"
"Uh... I was about to go to bed when she came into my quarters..." John hesitated, and Elizabeth's eyebrow went even higher. "I didn't know you could raise one eyebrow that well."
"You're avoiding the question."
"She seduced me, okay? I'm really... not good at not... getting seduced," said John, somewhat lamely.
"You do realize what that implies?" Elizabeth said delicately.
"What, my getting seduced?" said John defensively. "It's not the first time."
"And I'm sure it won't be the last, but I meant the part where you thought she was me." Elizabeth's voice was very dry.
John groaned. "Why are you even asking me this? You obviously knew already. So you're an attractive woman, okay? You have to know that."
Elizabeth hemmed briefly. "I don't think I'm really the right person to judge my own attractiveness," she commented. "But that's beside the point. I shouldn't have to remind you that there are some very good reasons people like us should stay just friends."
"I tried to tell her that!" John protested. "She ignored me. And then she started to take my shirt off. What was I supposed to do?"
"Push her away and kick her out of your room?"
John swallowed. She had a good point, but of course, he'd wanted to have sex with her. In fact, he still felt the tiniest bit disappointed that it hadn't happened - that it hadn't been Elizabeth.
"I'm just warning you in case something like this happens again," Elizabeth continued. "For now, I can forgive you for the mishap. But perhaps I should suggest that you work on avoiding seduction in the first place."
"Right," said John faintly.
Then, to his utter shock, Elizabeth reached out to take his hand and squeeze it. "Relax, John. I'm not mad at you. Not at the moment, anyway." She stood up to go.
"Does this mean we're on first-name terms again?" said John hopefully.
Elizabeth turned and gave him that look before walking out of the infirmary.