Fic: Fata Morgana - Part 2 of 2 (Emmagan/Sheppard, PG13)
Title: Fata Morgana
Author: jeyla4ever
Recipient: starry_haze
Pairing: John and Teyla
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just borrow their characters.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to yappichick, foxyinthecity, and wedjatqi. They were my saving grace. *smooch* THANK YOU...However, I've edited more since they looked at it, so all faults are mine. I'd also like to thank Alyse for her patience, kindness and understanding. Inspiration was simply not there and well, it came in a big whopping number at the very last minute. To starry_haze, I hope you like this because it was the only thing that came to mind. :)
Summary:This was the future, he kept telling himself. This was what it felt to be alive in a galaxy where miracles and wonders happened inexplicably on an everyday basis.
( Fata Morgana - Part 1 of 2 )
*******
"What year is it?" Dr. Keller asked as she probed and prodded every part of his body.
"The year that the Patriots will finally win another Super Bowl. I'm fine, Doc."
"I thought you were a Dolphins fan?" She asked amusingly.
"Patriots all the way!"
"Thank you, Jennifer. I just wanted to be sure." Teyla's voice was music to John's ears and he suddenly felt the urge to hold her in his arms.
But that wouldn't be right.
John jumped down from the bed and he walked out of the infirmary room with Teyla by his side.
"When are you leaving?"
"Major Kalvin is waiting for me as we speak."
John frowned slightly, "I thought he was joining me in Woolsey's office this morning." That pretty flyboy had a crush on Teyla. He knew it! No one likes Teyla's cooking, and this guy claims it's the best! Football with the Athosian children, my ass, John thought. John was the only who liked to play with the kids. He'd have to think of someway to get rid of Major Kalvin out of the picture, soon. For Teyla's sake, of course, and for the children.
"Is that referring to last night's transmission?" Teyla's head leaned sideways revealing her smooth neckline.
"Yup, I think so. Do you know anything about it?" Was he the only one that wasn't informed of this last night?
"Mr. Woolsey asked me about it this morning. He wanted to know if I had ever encountered this race in my travels."
"Have you?"
She was such an integral part of the team, such a great wealth of knowledge in that pretty little frame of hers. Damnit, if Teyla ever heard his thoughts, she'd kill him!
Teyla shook her head, "I am afraid I have never met or heard of them before."
He smiled briefly at her. As fun as it was to be with her, he really did have a city to run. "Well, I guess I better go and see what's the big mystery."
To his delight, she returned his smile. "I wish you well," she said playfully.
"I swear you enjoy seeing me being tortured."
"Nothing satisfies me more, John," she grumbled jokingly.
"Don't let Major Kalvin play with the kids, and don't buy into his love for your food either. That stuff kills good brain cells." Her laughter filled the room with such warmth, that for a second he was tempted to follow her.
Suddenly, his head was spinning. And he had to stop his steps abruptly. Everything darkened and the sound of faint voices claimed his thoughts.
"John," he heard the distress in her voice.
"I'm okay, Teyla. Just a passing dizziness."
"Dr. Keller will determine that. I will accompany you," she insisted, grabbing his arm.
The feel of her hand was nice, but there was no time to dwell on it. Going back to the infirmary was not on his list to do at the moment. "No, Teyla. There's something I have to do."
What that was, he had no clue because for the life of him, he couldn't remember.
"I am not leaving you, John. You are clearly not well."
"Teyla, I'm not asking you to leave me, but I'm not going back to see Dr. Keller. Not, yet." Their staring matches have always been intense, and he was ready to have another one with her, for this was important. He just couldn't figure out why or what.
"You will be of no use to this city and its inhabitants in your current state, John." As expected, she wasn't backing down.
"Do you trust me?" The puppy dog eyes have never failed him with her, but it seemed that he needed something more to convince her, "I promise, once I speak with Woolsey, I will let you drag my sorry ass back there, but I have to speak to him."
He saw the hesitation in her eyes, but her steps betrayed her as they both headed to Woolsey's office.
~~~
He walked into Woolsey's office and the sudden urge to run was excruciating. His first instinct was to grab hold of Teyla. He could feel her startled beneath his touch. He gazed into her eyes, confusion marring her golden face. He was suddenly terrified, but at what?
"Colonel Sheppard, may I present to you Commander Lydia and Commander Reus of the planet Geod. They have kindly asked for an audience with Atlantis for their interest in the device that we've retrieve from the waters of this planet."
Without noticing the translucent visitors, Rodney walked right up to John. "Sheppard, I've been looking all over for you."
"Dr. McKay, have you been cleared by Dr. Keller?" asked Woolsey, noticing his slight injuries.
"Of course, I wouldn't miss this meeting for the world," he was limping to his right side and a swollen bruise was evident on his face.
Teyla moved to sit by the window. John stared out at the seas and noticed the light rays of gradients shining down through the horizon.
"Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other better?" Woolsey added.
John neared the window. His thoughts wandering, his vision uncleared with images flashing before his eyes.
"John, are you alright?" he heard Teyla from what seemed a long distance and yet he was only a few inches away from her.
"I'm fine, Teyla." He pulled the chair out and slowly sat down.
It was an uncomfortably long time before John realized that at least an hour must have passed and he couldn't remember participating, never mind listening to anything that had transpired throughout the entire meeting. He caught a glimpse of Teyla on his right, and Ronon was to his left.
"This is wrong." He said barely in a whisper.
"Colonel Sheppard?" Woosley interrupted.
"This is very wrong." John stated with more emphasis.
"We aren't going to give up that core, Commander. It's been activated. The power and energy emitting from this source is amazing and unlike anything we've ever encounter. Colonel Sheppard is the only one that has the ability to control it." Rodney looked at John to back up his claim.
John couldn't think properly. His mind was reeling and the hairs all over his body were tingling with rage.
Woolsey shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "What Dr. McKay is trying to say, Commander Reus, is that we are a very unique race that is full of curiosity. We have come here to continue our explorations but also to expand our allies to unite in our fight against the Wraith. If this source has the capacity to provide our city with the much needed energy to power the city to its full...."
"Stop!" Abruptly, John rose from his seat.
Everyone in the room fell into silence. John felt dizzy. He had a moment of clarity and it had felt like a thin view of all the events for the past two-weeks, which opened the gates of hell from beneath his feet.
"Let them have it!" He ordered.
"WHAT?" Rodney all but shouted.
"Give them the Core, McKay!" The tone in John's voice left no room for argument.
"Colonel Sheppard, can we discuss this in private?" Woolsey asked awkwardly.
"Not before they leave the city with that Core!" John's eyes were fixed intently on the Geodes.
"I believe this device must carry a threat to the city of Atlantis and only Colonel Sheppard can detect it." John heard Teyla's voice right beside him.
"I'd do what he says, McKay." Ronon stood next to John staring at the Geodes intently.
"Oh, great. What is this?" McKay looked around the room for some kind of support.
"Colonel Sheppard, Ms. Emmagan, Ronon, please take a seat." Woosly also stood, his tone commanding, but reassuring.
John felt Teyla's hand on his arm, and saw Ronon stare into his eyes for approval.
He shook his head, and was about to surrender, when suddenly, his eyes flashed to the back of his head, and it hurt like hell. And then it hit him. The memories of what had happened flooded his mind in rapid succession of fast moving pictures right before his eyes. Heat rose from the bottom of his feet spreading like wild fire all over his body. Forget his spidey senses, hell was about to break loose and he was the one igniting the flames. For an instant, he couldn't find his voice, and he was certain that his heart was not pumping normally, not by the way his palpitations were beating against his chest.
Suddenly he felt movement neared him. Commander Lydia stood right beside him.
Instinctively, he grabbed Teyla's hand, pulling her to her feet. He set his body right in front of hers and face Commander Lydia furiously, using his own body to shield Teyla. He heard Ronon's stunner from not too far behind Commander Lydia.
"Don't come any closer!" John warned.
"Major Lorne!" Woolsey called and instantly, the room filled with marines. Yet, in a matter of seconds, a bright light flooded the room, blinding everyone in the room as their bodies paralyzed, completely rendering them unconscious and unmovable.
All except John, Teyla and the Geodes remained unharmed by its force.
"We mean you no harm, Colonel Sheppard and Ms. Emmagan." Commander Reus's tone could not be more charming nor could his words have sounded more genuine. But the menaces behind the sweetly spoken words were as sharp as a naked blade.
"What do you want?" Teyla asked with fury in her voice.
"To balance the universe again. To correct what our forefathers carelessly created. To bring peace and harmony as it once was in our galaxy."
"And here I thought you only wanted the Core." There was a dark tone beneath John's sarcastic voice.
"The core is only a part of it. It's strength and power is unlike any you will ever encounter in your entire life and beyond yours. It was not meant to ever be created, for its powers, although strong, are also corrupt and dangerous. Your people could never understand this, but we hoped you might, in order to save your people from complete destruction. Your curious mind shield you from the truth and your quest for dominance deceive you."
Teyla shifted from behind him and stood beside John, but he still placed a hand on her to block her from moving any further.
"We are of no threat to you. Why not simply take the Core and leave us?" Teyla said, with icy control.
"In our quest to extract all traces of the Core, we have come across many interesting species in which all react differently, but all desire and thirst for the same thing; power. Your people were no different than the others, and yet we wanted to understand you just as much as you wanted to understand us. There was more to your people with which we could learn from, but more importantly, we wanted you to understand us. By understanding you, we are able to see and offer you an alternative in exchange for your knowledge."
"You're gonna have to speak more clearly if you want me to understand." John said, still getting things straight in his head.
"What is it that you offer? Teyla asked cautiously.
"We desire to experience what he feels for you." Commander Reus smiled in her direction but then settled his eyes on John.
John experienced a moment's of hesitation and then he understood. He turned to see Teyla's eyes. His hand still shielding her body, and then she tightly tucked her fingers underneath his. It was clear. No force in the universe and beyond would stop him from ever leaving Teyla.
"That's not an exchange I'm willing to bargain with." John said testily.
"The Core gave you the ability to turn back time, to erase what was already predestined to occur. We have never seen the Core stand to such intelligence and manipulate time and space in such a way. And it only did it to bring you back to this moment in time. So, that you can save her. Save yourself and those that you love and call your family. You were all destined to die from the very first moment the Core stepped into your city walls."
John's mind was reeling. He drew in a deep breath, struggling for control. Did they really expect him to believe it? Suddenly the warmth from Teyla's hand registered. It didn't matter now; Teyla was alive.
"Well, then, leave us alone and take the Core with you." It sounded so simple coming out of his mouth, but somehow he knew the stakes were much higher.
"We have travelled far and wide. We have met many of your kind in other time and space, yet none have shown your strength, wisdom and your capacity to stand against the Core. For the past fifteen sunrises and sunsets, the Core has whirled your emotions and battled against the forces of its powers to rule and dominate your kind before erasing everything of your existence. And it was all due to your unwillingness to accept her first death." Commander Lydia's words were too painful for them to be true.
The headaches, the memories, the repetitiveness of the days events, it all made sense now, they were living the same day over and over again, and none of them ever remembered.
"That is impossible! What you state cannot be true. I remember everything that has transpired these past days since our return from Earth. What you speak are lies. What is your true purpose?" Her voice was clear and certain, but only John could sense her doubt and fear.
"She's not lying, Teyla." He couldn't face her, not when he wasn't sure what was happening himself.
"We understand your rage, fears and quest for power; but we don't understand your feelings. You are unique and you are not even aware of it. She is your weakness, but at the same time, she brings forth a different alternate you, which you are not even aware, exists within you. We must learn how you accomplish this. Our actions are not based on disciplinary judgments or revenge. You may not like us now, but you still have our utmost respect and loyalty. We only seek knowledge and understanding."
John tensed. Not for the first time did he found himself both awed and frightened. He stared at Commander Reus and Commander Lydia's hard in the eyes, doubtlessly trying to connect sympathetically as he had always been able to count on in the past.
"So this has something to do with the Core that I touched," he said indignantly holding on tightly to Teyla's hand. Some things were so crystal clear in his mind, but others he still just a haze.
"We do not interfere with destiny. We only seek its understanding."
"Well then, why don't you explain it to me clearly because I don't understand." This was too much, he was running out of patience, but what really burned inside the depths of his being, was the fact this fear that was crawling through the back of his spine, like a predator slowly torturing its prey, wasn't related to the Geodes, but with time, fate, destiny; he was fighting against the inevitable.
"Our presence or absence is irrelevant. We have no say or control over the matter." Commander Lydia stated almost sympathetically.
"Like hell you do. You let her die! And you'll stand there and watch, and let her die again!" John didn't care for her pity. He wanted answers. And his fury was no match for sympathy.
He felt Teyla stiffen at his harsh words, "Are you saying that this will occur again?"
"You have found a way to interpret your own actions against the crisis that poses an unacceptable risk to you and to those you love. We have no say or right over what you have chosen to be your path." The Commander's words were so inexplicably confusing, and yet deep within John was the answer. He just didn't know how to remember it.
"Don't talk to me in riddles! Are you telling me that I could have stopped her death? I can break this screwed-up cycle, or whatever the hell this is? Just tell me how to do it!" There was anguish and rage; hatred and love in his words.
"Only the Ancestors have the ability to reverse time and change the course of a pre-destined future. John possesses no such medium. I do not fear for my death, but I will fight for the people of this city," Teyla's voice faltered for just a fraction of a second, "You are simply avoiding telling us the truth of your purpose."
"Your future is not yet decided, we only desire to understand you as much as you've wanted to understand us. That is our only purpose." John had enough of their games, and their words were saying nothing to him and these last words from Commander Lydia only sparked the gates of hell raging within him.
Behind the Geodes words was the answer, but clearly they weren't going to give it to him directly. Everything had to be a mystery for these aliens in this galaxy. Nothing was every clearly spelled out in front of you, he thought.
"Where do I go from here?" He asked, feeling the need of urgency.
"John, you will do nothing drastic." The turmoil in her voice shot through him stronger than any bullet could penetrate through his heart. But he had already made up his mind. He wasn't going to watch her die again.
"You said you wanted to understand," he brought Teyla's arm and placed it in his heart. "If I agree to this, you will let her live, and you will leave Atlantis and never come back again."
"John, this is not real. Do you even comprehend what it is that you are consenting to do?" At first, her question troubled John visibly. And then her fingers tightened against his and the answer blazed his mind.
"Yes." He knew he should have said more, but what was there to explain? There were no promises, nothing guaranteed, but there was life, her life and that was all there was to it. Yes, he would do anything to save her.
"We never doubted you, Colonel Sheppard." Both Commanders couldn't hide the sadistic glee in their voices.
John was exhausted. He didn't know how long this conversation had lasted, but he felt the weight of the city on his shoulders all of the sudden. It was as if this entire charade was nothing but a big joke. He wondered if perhaps he was lying in one of the infirmary beds, unconscious and tied up with an IV and an oxygen tank. Wouldn't that be a relief! Yet, something deep inside him told him the truth was right outside the city walls. Suddenly, his eyes went to the windowpane, watching at the mirage outside the city's waters. Faint colors swirled around the dark blue waters of the sea, and he remembered that that was the same phenomenon that he'd seen throughout the days.
He first saw it when he was flying over to the energy signal that was transmitting the readings that Rodney had detected. He then saw a similar mirage when he was meeting with the Geodes Commanders on their ship while Teyla spoke to the escort leading them to the Councilmen; A Fata Morgana, the Commander had called the phenomenon.... but, wait, that can't be. That hasn't happened, not yet.... Not... He turned and faced both Commanders.
"I can't make you understand what I can't explain myself. I can only show you." John remained outwardly calm, his voice betraying none of his true vexation.
"Yes." Commander Reus replied anxiously.
Everything was beginning to make sense to him, "Promise to take us back to the beginning, before this all started."
"We are in agreement." The Commanders uniformly replied.
He slowed his breathing, calming his mind. He breathed deeply and turned to see her.
Teyla.
How does he explain to her what he himself doesn't understand? How can he show love when he can't even bring himself to admit his feelings to her, never mind to himself?
Golden skin that outshined the sunlight's rays, streaks of firelight hair that tousled pleasantly upon her shoulders, cheeks that flushed and burned fearlessly; that was Teyla; A strikingly beautiful woman, an extraordinary woman. And he had foolishly wasted so many opportunities to tell her just how much he really cared for her. How could he deny that he wanted more than just her friendship?
Love was a strange and terrible thing. John had thought he could avoid it after Nancy. Courting was fun, sex a lot of fun but love-well that was a pointless illusion.
But after seeing Teyla that first time in Athos, he knew- he knew that he wanted to lure this woman into his world. When they stood in front of each other, forehead to forehead only a few years ago, from that day, he had vowed to protect her at any cost and to never let any harm come to her. John focused on her form, full of bravery and pride, of wisdom and love.
Yes, love. He's always known she loved him, but he was too afraid to venture in her direction. Now, he was being force to do what he's always wanted.
And she didn't understand.
But at this moment, no force was going to stop him from making her see how he truly feels and yet...gently, her fingers trailed along his jaw, and he heard a gasp escape from her lips.
"Teyla," he whispered, but her fingers move and rose, shushing his lips.
He reached for her fingers and slowly cradled them with his, holding her closer to him.
He could see her eyes reading into his soul, for only she had that power, and he saw the moment that clarity shimmered in her eyes.
"It has always been there. I just hid it very well." He confessed, keeping their hands linked tightly, looking deeply into her eyes.
"It has always been clear to me. You only had to voice it."
Whatever happened after this, he would always remember this moment. The sweet shape of her face, her dark brown eyes, and the round mouth he so wanted to touch with his own. He was so close to her, that it was with the smallest step forward that his face was in her hair and then her arms were around his back, holding each other firmly.
It seemed so simple, now, to be this close to her, to feel her against him so intimately. For so many years, the thought alone had terrified him. He never thought himself a fool, but now he could see it written all over his face. This was such a magnificent relief, that he knew later, much later, after he'd fight the big bad monsters, reclaim his title as the dashing hero that saved the day once again and finally kiss the pretty Athosian Queen; yeah, after all that, he would take the time to curse himself for all the missed moments that he could have had with her since they first met.
But that could wait too.
He took a step closer and cupped her face in his hands. He looked down at her soulful eyes. She simply took his breath away. Devotedly, he kissed her forehead and dusted a kiss on the tip of her lips and leaned....
"What the hell is going on here?" John's lips were still moist against Teyla's lips when he heard Rodney from behind.
The sirens were going off in the city and the floor trembled from beneath their feet.
Woolsey, Ronon and Lorne also woke abruptly, confusion clearly in their faces.
To no surprise, John realized that the Geodes had dematerialized and were gone.
"There's no time for explanations. Rodney, follow me!" He still held Teyla's hands with his.
"Oh, great. I've no clue what's going on but I still have to save the day."
"Rodney, if you think you're having a shitty day," he glanced over to Teyla, "you should try ours on for size."
Woolsey stood from his chair, "Colonel Sheppard, would you care to explain what is going on here?"
"We need to get rid of that Core before it all happens again." He was running out of time. He's fighting against time.
"What happens again, Sheppard?" Ronon's voice was loud and clear but John couldn't sit around and answer any questions.
"Sorry, buddy, but I gotta go." John tapped his earpiece ready to call someone.
"Sheppard?" the Satedan's husky voice thundered from behind Teyla.
"Ronon, Sheppard is trying to prevent us from repeating the same day over again." Teyla was always reliable not too give too much or too little of the information needed, just enough to calm everyone down for just a bit.
"What?" Ronon's loud voice was almost comical.
Apparently, Teyla's summary wasn't enough.
"We need to get to Rodney's lab! Gather the marines and secure the gate room." John activated his radio piece again, "Chuck, get ready to shut down the shield on my command."
"Yes, Sir!"
"John, what exactly are you going to do?" Teyla's voice was full of concern.
"Simple, we need to take the mother ship back home." He tugged onto Teyla's sleeve and they started to run.
********
Chaos was evident in the city's hallways. Sparks of lights firing everywhere, and members of the expedition team frantically ran seeking refuge, as John and his team ran straight to Rodney's lab.
As suspected, the Core was twirling savagely. Rays of light in all sorts of colors filled the room.
John drew near the Core but he wasn't sure what would happen when he took hold of the device. For all he knew, he had attempted this already and it hadn't worked.
"John, perhaps you should use some sort of containment system to transport the Core." Teyla looked at him inquiringly.
"Don't worry, I've done this before. Fourteen times if I'm not mistaken, and I'm still here." He smiled in her direction trying to ease her tension just as much as his.
He ran furiously down the corridors, yelling for everyone to clear his path. He got to the balcony nearest the gate room. He looked over the darkening panorama outside the opening doors. Though it was becoming increasingly difficult to make out anything clear outside, it was evident that nightfall had come with dismaying speed. Without hesitating, he turned towards the Core and held it tightly in his hands.
"Are you certain of this, John?" Teyla cried.
"Have I ever been wrong, Teyla?" The rays of light were burning through his skin, but he wasn't about to stop now. He called on his radio, "Chuck, lower the shield now!"
"Yes, Colonel!" came the voice in less than 30 seconds.
"Sheppard, I hope you know what you're doing. We've lost all systems and power failure." Rodney's voice drummed in his ear clearly adding to the tension.
"Crap, it's happening again!" He cursed softly, venomously.
John ran outside, his skin beginning to char due to the effects of the strong rays of light emitting from the Core.
He could hear footsteps right beside him but he paid no attention. Everything inside him was telling him to get this device out of the city as soon as possible.
The doors closed behind him and as he stepped to the edge of the railings, he wondered if he had done this already and had failed.
John ran forward as the tempest roared violently outside the city's water edge.
"Sheppard, it's too dangerous out there. You're going to get hit by lighting!" He could hear Rodney's frantic pitch on the other side of his earpiece.
"Sheppard," for Ronon that was the unfinished question.
"It'll work," He turned and face Ronon, and last his eyes fell on Teyla. "Stay back, and keep Teyla away."
This has to work, it has to work. He kept repeating to himself over and over and over again, till he finally convinced himself. Because Teyla had to live, the city of Atlantis would return back to normal, and this was not his day to die.
He'd been wrong about so many things, and by what the Geodes said, he had relived this day once too many times and always failed to correct it.
He only hoped this wasn't another one of those repeated times.
********
Voices swirled around him.
Teyla.
Rodney.
Ronon.
John tried to focus on one single sound, but they merged with each other, making it impossible for him to make out exactly what they were saying. Every few seconds he would pick up a few words.
The Core.
The Geodes.
Your Weakness.
Lies In Her.
Then there was nothing.
He woke restless, but at least his headache was gone. He had a busy day yesterday and he wasn't in the mood to repeat a similar day again.
"Sheppard," He could hear Rodney's voice from his radio piece.
"Rodney. Do you ever sleep?"
"Do you remember that strong energy reading I told you about yesterday?"
"No, I don't remember." Yeah, he remembered, but he wasn't going to tell Rodney that. The man had so many energy readings and so many discoveries, some were bound to be on his "No Way in Hell Am I Going In There List".
"Well, I thought we were going to head out this morning to locate the source of that energy reading in the middle of the sea. And guess what I found? NOTHING! What the hell did you do last night? Did you move us into another area of the planet?"
"Yes, Rodney. That's exactly what I did. I was tired of that same old scenery. Look outside your window. You might be a bit surprised." Yup, he had in fact flown the city outside of the city's waters. He had this horrible intuition that this place simply wasn't appropriate. Woolsey didn't question it, not to mention the fact, that it had this rather large mass of water current in the middle of the ocean waters, which wouldn't make it safe to land the city there anyways. But Rodney didn't need to know all the details. What the scientist didn't know, he couldn't use against you.
Only a couple of minutes passed when McKay was on again, "What did you do, Sheppard? We're not even in water anymore! We're in space!"
"Rodney, I get a bad feeling every time you want to go explore something with pretty colors and strong energy readings. Let's take this one slow. Not everything that's out there is meant for us to play around with." John smiled nonchalantly.
"Whom have you been talking to?"
John left his quarters and kept walking through the corridors heading to meet up with Ronon for breakfast in the mess hall nodding to the members of the expedition team on the way.
"I don't remember, but I heard that from someone. Look, we can talk about this later. Stay out of trouble! Sheppard out."
He walked up to the mess hall and browsed around the room but didn't find who he was looking for.
He went up to the buffet table and grabbed a mug of coffee and headed back out into the city corridors.
He was just about to get onto the transporter heading to the control room when he spotted Teyla's form on the far side of the balcony.
Memories of when she had just come back from a mission with him, where she took control of a Wraith Queen's mind, endangering her unborn child's life just to save him, came vividly to his mind. They had stood on that same balcony together and she had confessed how close she came to losing her child's life, and all to save the team, to save him. At that time, he felt uncomfortable holding her in his arms. She wanted his comfort and he simply didn't know how to give it to her. They were still at odds since she had confessed her pregnancy to him. That had shocked him so strongly, that their relationship after that only grew apart. Then, when Kanaan came back into her life, she no longer needed his comfort, and they became even more distant.
But now, almost two years since her pregnancy, things were beginning to change, and for the better.
Kanaan was no longer an obstacle. Ronon had made sure to tell him repeatedly several times. Now that he thinks about it, it seems that's all he's been talking about the past couple of days.
But with Teyla, John had made a long habit of resisting temptation. Now, something in him wore him down. The idea was always there, nagging at him, and he couldn't let it go. This was right. This was not an illusion; his feelings for her were real.
Then something struck him. Something so painful, he stepped back for a minute.
This was different.
He didn't want it to be different. He was tired of feeling as though a huge hollow had opened up in his life, as though he'd lost something so important he couldn't even begin to imagine the depth of that loss. He wanted to forget the utter bliss of even thinking that something terrible might or could have happened to her and he unable to do anything about it.
And so he wouldn't hold back anymore. He was driven by a gnawing impulse to go to her. There had been more than plenty of times when he thought he was a goner for sure, never to tell her just how he truly feels. The shock was so great that he realized, with an odd kind of remoteness, that he was breathing fast and hard, and his vision had narrowed until he saw nothing but her from a short distance.
All his life he had dealt with facts, in hard reality, in what was and is. Reality is solid. He could depend on reality; depend on being a cold, hard, and true. That was okay with him, because all his life he had the facts staring right in his face, painful, but real.
He took several deep breaths and shook off whatever the hell it was that had him so on edge. All he had to do was face Teyla.
And so he gave into temptation, and eagerly strode into the balcony without a clue as to what he would say or do. The only thing he was certain of was that this time, it felt right.
The doors swished automatically for him and she turned to him with a smile, "Johh."
"Teyla." He threaded his fingers through his hair. He was throbbing with his need to touch her. To feel her and know that she was real.
"Is everything all right?" She turned and gave him that sweet smile that went straight to his heart.
"Far as I know, all is okay." There was the sudden uncomfortable silence and for a second he thought of leaving.
"I suspected you were meeting with Mr. Woolsey this morning in regards to a transmission from a ship traveling in our direction?" He had gotten a call from Chuck not too long ago. He checked it out himself last night right after Chuck called him. It wasn't a transmission after all.
"No, we rescheduled it for later on in the day. It was just some space residue or something. Rodney is pretty worked up about it, too. He thought he'd found the Holy Grail."
"The Holy Grail? You must explain that to me later. Poor Rodney, it is a shame. I will remember to pay him a visit before I leave."
"You're off to New Athos, today." He remembered.
"Yes, I am waiting for Major Kalvin."
That smart ass fly boy always wanted to go with Teyla to New Athos with the excuse he was there to teach the kids how to play football. And he didn't even want to think when the guy dared to say that he loved Teyla's cooking. No wonder the guy's not too bright! He made a mental note to change this week's roster. The guy was out of shape. He had a feeling Major Kalvin would be too tired and sore after a couple of practice rounds with Ronon to want to go with Teyla back to New Athos anytime soon.
"How long are you planning on staying?" He wanted to spend time with her and usually she left for days to visit with Torren. Since returning from Earth, it was important for Teyla that Torren get back to his ancestral roots, back to his Athosian heritage.
"A few days, but I will return briefly tomorrow to help Rodney in his lab." She turned and faced the seas. "It seems he has found some strange powerful energy somewhere in the depths of that colorful phenomenon effect there in the horizon." She pointed straight towards the surface of the water in the planet.
When John followed her gaze, at first, there was nothing visible there.
And then, he saw it. An orchestra of a spectacle with more colors than any rainbow could have, dancing just above the top of the oceans' surface.
"Yeah, I wouldn't go calling him on it. He just told me that there's no energy reading anymore. He doesn't know that I put a fake picture on his window and now he thinks we're in flying in space." He gave her his best grin. "So you see, that's really an optical illusion. There's really nothing there."
He could feel the surprise of his words as she turned to face him.
"Should we not go and explore this "optical illusion?" There was that teasing in her voice that John had missed between them so much.
"Not everything that we see is real or meant for us to explore." And yet, he wanted nothing more than to have something real with her.
"True, some things are not always what they seem."
"An optical illusion," he leaned closer to her, brushing her arm with his, both staring out at the sea, his elbows resting on the railings. "Although Rodney would probably call it by its scientific term, a Fata Morgana."
Her soft laughter warmed his heart. "John Sheppard, are you quoting, Rodney?"
"Actually, he's not the one I heard it from." He thought of a face and a name, but there was nothing. "I just can't remember who at the moment."
"Explain this, Fata Morgana?" He turned towards her and her eyes sparkled beneath the morning's sunrays and the shimmer in her eyes was almost translucent in their meaning.
All clarity hit him and he remembered why he came to see her in the first place. Things were about to change. He was not going to repeat the same mistake again.
He leaned closer, staring into her eyes and he saw that he was enmeshed with her nearness. She straightened and faced him, stepping just a bit closer to him. He broke the distance and slid one an arm around her waist, leaving no room for any space between them.
It felt so right to hold her so closely against him, to surrender to the coaxing pressure of his hand at her back. To feel her fingers conform to the hard swell of his chest, smiling at him with acceptance and pure delight.
"Teyla, I'm not good at this," he bent and nuzzled into her hair.
He felt her laughter against his chest and he knew then he was lost in the warmth of her embrace.
"I beg to differ," her whisper shot through his senses.
He lifted his head from the crook of her neck and with a flirtatious sparkle in his eyes, he surrendered to her completely. The effect was instant and brutal with its intensity, letting his heart speak what he hid for so many years. "I thought I wanted us to take things slow, but now..."
"I can surely attest that six years has been slow enough." She had struck home. Now, everything would fall into place.
"Then let's not waste anymore time."
He cupped her chin in his hand, tilted her face so he could read every nuance of her expression. His hand lingered as he smoothed a strand of her hair behind her ear. She sighed and turned her cheek against his palm while he pressed his lips to the underside of her jaw, loving the smell of her, the feel of her warm skin against his lips.
Slowly, ever so reverently, he pressed her fully against him, and bent his head further. Her breathing soft and warm aroused the burning flame of his skin and tenderly, ever so gently, he kissed her with an unspoken promise of a very real future together.
~The End~
Sidenotes:
Author's Note:
The first paragraphs of this story, the ones spoken from the Geodes, are quotes. I wanted them to sound all smart and very philosophical. ;)
These are as follows:
The future is big with every possibility of achievement and of tragedy. ~Alfred North Whitehead
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. ~Bible psalms 30-5
Power tends to corrupt; the illusion of power corrupts absolutely. ~Anonymous
The lust for power never dies-men cannot have enough.~Aeschylus
Power always has most to fear from its own illusions. ~James Fenimore Cooper
Of all the illusions that beset mankind none is quite so curious as the tendency to suppose that we are mentally and morally superior to those who differ from us in opinion. ~Elbert Hubbard
Wisdom knows the proper limits of things. ~Seneca The Younger
Much learning does not teach understanding. ~ Heraclitus
We only understand that which is already within us. ~ Henri Amiel
Those who understand only what can be explained understand very little. ~ Marie von Ebener-Eschenbach
Our greatest illusion is to believe that we are what we think ourselves to be. ~ Henri Amiel
Lastly, the definition of Fata Morgana as told by the Geodes speaking to Teyla while they were on the Geodes ship is quoted from Wikipiedia. :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fata_Morgana_(mirage)
I think that is all of them but if I should forget any, please let me know. Thanks!
Author: jeyla4ever
Recipient: starry_haze
Pairing: John and Teyla
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. I just borrow their characters.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to yappichick, foxyinthecity, and wedjatqi. They were my saving grace. *smooch* THANK YOU...However, I've edited more since they looked at it, so all faults are mine. I'd also like to thank Alyse for her patience, kindness and understanding. Inspiration was simply not there and well, it came in a big whopping number at the very last minute. To starry_haze, I hope you like this because it was the only thing that came to mind. :)
Summary:This was the future, he kept telling himself. This was what it felt to be alive in a galaxy where miracles and wonders happened inexplicably on an everyday basis.
( Fata Morgana - Part 1 of 2 )
*******
"What year is it?" Dr. Keller asked as she probed and prodded every part of his body.
"The year that the Patriots will finally win another Super Bowl. I'm fine, Doc."
"I thought you were a Dolphins fan?" She asked amusingly.
"Patriots all the way!"
"Thank you, Jennifer. I just wanted to be sure." Teyla's voice was music to John's ears and he suddenly felt the urge to hold her in his arms.
But that wouldn't be right.
John jumped down from the bed and he walked out of the infirmary room with Teyla by his side.
"When are you leaving?"
"Major Kalvin is waiting for me as we speak."
John frowned slightly, "I thought he was joining me in Woolsey's office this morning." That pretty flyboy had a crush on Teyla. He knew it! No one likes Teyla's cooking, and this guy claims it's the best! Football with the Athosian children, my ass, John thought. John was the only who liked to play with the kids. He'd have to think of someway to get rid of Major Kalvin out of the picture, soon. For Teyla's sake, of course, and for the children.
"Is that referring to last night's transmission?" Teyla's head leaned sideways revealing her smooth neckline.
"Yup, I think so. Do you know anything about it?" Was he the only one that wasn't informed of this last night?
"Mr. Woolsey asked me about it this morning. He wanted to know if I had ever encountered this race in my travels."
"Have you?"
She was such an integral part of the team, such a great wealth of knowledge in that pretty little frame of hers. Damnit, if Teyla ever heard his thoughts, she'd kill him!
Teyla shook her head, "I am afraid I have never met or heard of them before."
He smiled briefly at her. As fun as it was to be with her, he really did have a city to run. "Well, I guess I better go and see what's the big mystery."
To his delight, she returned his smile. "I wish you well," she said playfully.
"I swear you enjoy seeing me being tortured."
"Nothing satisfies me more, John," she grumbled jokingly.
"Don't let Major Kalvin play with the kids, and don't buy into his love for your food either. That stuff kills good brain cells." Her laughter filled the room with such warmth, that for a second he was tempted to follow her.
Suddenly, his head was spinning. And he had to stop his steps abruptly. Everything darkened and the sound of faint voices claimed his thoughts.
"John," he heard the distress in her voice.
"I'm okay, Teyla. Just a passing dizziness."
"Dr. Keller will determine that. I will accompany you," she insisted, grabbing his arm.
The feel of her hand was nice, but there was no time to dwell on it. Going back to the infirmary was not on his list to do at the moment. "No, Teyla. There's something I have to do."
What that was, he had no clue because for the life of him, he couldn't remember.
"I am not leaving you, John. You are clearly not well."
"Teyla, I'm not asking you to leave me, but I'm not going back to see Dr. Keller. Not, yet." Their staring matches have always been intense, and he was ready to have another one with her, for this was important. He just couldn't figure out why or what.
"You will be of no use to this city and its inhabitants in your current state, John." As expected, she wasn't backing down.
"Do you trust me?" The puppy dog eyes have never failed him with her, but it seemed that he needed something more to convince her, "I promise, once I speak with Woolsey, I will let you drag my sorry ass back there, but I have to speak to him."
He saw the hesitation in her eyes, but her steps betrayed her as they both headed to Woolsey's office.
~~~
He walked into Woolsey's office and the sudden urge to run was excruciating. His first instinct was to grab hold of Teyla. He could feel her startled beneath his touch. He gazed into her eyes, confusion marring her golden face. He was suddenly terrified, but at what?
"Colonel Sheppard, may I present to you Commander Lydia and Commander Reus of the planet Geod. They have kindly asked for an audience with Atlantis for their interest in the device that we've retrieve from the waters of this planet."
Without noticing the translucent visitors, Rodney walked right up to John. "Sheppard, I've been looking all over for you."
"Dr. McKay, have you been cleared by Dr. Keller?" asked Woolsey, noticing his slight injuries.
"Of course, I wouldn't miss this meeting for the world," he was limping to his right side and a swollen bruise was evident on his face.
Teyla moved to sit by the window. John stared out at the seas and noticed the light rays of gradients shining down through the horizon.
"Why don't we all sit down and get to know each other better?" Woolsey added.
John neared the window. His thoughts wandering, his vision uncleared with images flashing before his eyes.
"John, are you alright?" he heard Teyla from what seemed a long distance and yet he was only a few inches away from her.
"I'm fine, Teyla." He pulled the chair out and slowly sat down.
It was an uncomfortably long time before John realized that at least an hour must have passed and he couldn't remember participating, never mind listening to anything that had transpired throughout the entire meeting. He caught a glimpse of Teyla on his right, and Ronon was to his left.
"This is wrong." He said barely in a whisper.
"Colonel Sheppard?" Woosley interrupted.
"This is very wrong." John stated with more emphasis.
"We aren't going to give up that core, Commander. It's been activated. The power and energy emitting from this source is amazing and unlike anything we've ever encounter. Colonel Sheppard is the only one that has the ability to control it." Rodney looked at John to back up his claim.
John couldn't think properly. His mind was reeling and the hairs all over his body were tingling with rage.
Woolsey shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "What Dr. McKay is trying to say, Commander Reus, is that we are a very unique race that is full of curiosity. We have come here to continue our explorations but also to expand our allies to unite in our fight against the Wraith. If this source has the capacity to provide our city with the much needed energy to power the city to its full...."
"Stop!" Abruptly, John rose from his seat.
Everyone in the room fell into silence. John felt dizzy. He had a moment of clarity and it had felt like a thin view of all the events for the past two-weeks, which opened the gates of hell from beneath his feet.
"Let them have it!" He ordered.
"WHAT?" Rodney all but shouted.
"Give them the Core, McKay!" The tone in John's voice left no room for argument.
"Colonel Sheppard, can we discuss this in private?" Woolsey asked awkwardly.
"Not before they leave the city with that Core!" John's eyes were fixed intently on the Geodes.
"I believe this device must carry a threat to the city of Atlantis and only Colonel Sheppard can detect it." John heard Teyla's voice right beside him.
"I'd do what he says, McKay." Ronon stood next to John staring at the Geodes intently.
"Oh, great. What is this?" McKay looked around the room for some kind of support.
"Colonel Sheppard, Ms. Emmagan, Ronon, please take a seat." Woosly also stood, his tone commanding, but reassuring.
John felt Teyla's hand on his arm, and saw Ronon stare into his eyes for approval.
He shook his head, and was about to surrender, when suddenly, his eyes flashed to the back of his head, and it hurt like hell. And then it hit him. The memories of what had happened flooded his mind in rapid succession of fast moving pictures right before his eyes. Heat rose from the bottom of his feet spreading like wild fire all over his body. Forget his spidey senses, hell was about to break loose and he was the one igniting the flames. For an instant, he couldn't find his voice, and he was certain that his heart was not pumping normally, not by the way his palpitations were beating against his chest.
Suddenly he felt movement neared him. Commander Lydia stood right beside him.
Instinctively, he grabbed Teyla's hand, pulling her to her feet. He set his body right in front of hers and face Commander Lydia furiously, using his own body to shield Teyla. He heard Ronon's stunner from not too far behind Commander Lydia.
"Don't come any closer!" John warned.
"Major Lorne!" Woolsey called and instantly, the room filled with marines. Yet, in a matter of seconds, a bright light flooded the room, blinding everyone in the room as their bodies paralyzed, completely rendering them unconscious and unmovable.
All except John, Teyla and the Geodes remained unharmed by its force.
"We mean you no harm, Colonel Sheppard and Ms. Emmagan." Commander Reus's tone could not be more charming nor could his words have sounded more genuine. But the menaces behind the sweetly spoken words were as sharp as a naked blade.
"What do you want?" Teyla asked with fury in her voice.
"To balance the universe again. To correct what our forefathers carelessly created. To bring peace and harmony as it once was in our galaxy."
"And here I thought you only wanted the Core." There was a dark tone beneath John's sarcastic voice.
"The core is only a part of it. It's strength and power is unlike any you will ever encounter in your entire life and beyond yours. It was not meant to ever be created, for its powers, although strong, are also corrupt and dangerous. Your people could never understand this, but we hoped you might, in order to save your people from complete destruction. Your curious mind shield you from the truth and your quest for dominance deceive you."
Teyla shifted from behind him and stood beside John, but he still placed a hand on her to block her from moving any further.
"We are of no threat to you. Why not simply take the Core and leave us?" Teyla said, with icy control.
"In our quest to extract all traces of the Core, we have come across many interesting species in which all react differently, but all desire and thirst for the same thing; power. Your people were no different than the others, and yet we wanted to understand you just as much as you wanted to understand us. There was more to your people with which we could learn from, but more importantly, we wanted you to understand us. By understanding you, we are able to see and offer you an alternative in exchange for your knowledge."
"You're gonna have to speak more clearly if you want me to understand." John said, still getting things straight in his head.
"What is it that you offer? Teyla asked cautiously.
"We desire to experience what he feels for you." Commander Reus smiled in her direction but then settled his eyes on John.
John experienced a moment's of hesitation and then he understood. He turned to see Teyla's eyes. His hand still shielding her body, and then she tightly tucked her fingers underneath his. It was clear. No force in the universe and beyond would stop him from ever leaving Teyla.
"That's not an exchange I'm willing to bargain with." John said testily.
"The Core gave you the ability to turn back time, to erase what was already predestined to occur. We have never seen the Core stand to such intelligence and manipulate time and space in such a way. And it only did it to bring you back to this moment in time. So, that you can save her. Save yourself and those that you love and call your family. You were all destined to die from the very first moment the Core stepped into your city walls."
John's mind was reeling. He drew in a deep breath, struggling for control. Did they really expect him to believe it? Suddenly the warmth from Teyla's hand registered. It didn't matter now; Teyla was alive.
"Well, then, leave us alone and take the Core with you." It sounded so simple coming out of his mouth, but somehow he knew the stakes were much higher.
"We have travelled far and wide. We have met many of your kind in other time and space, yet none have shown your strength, wisdom and your capacity to stand against the Core. For the past fifteen sunrises and sunsets, the Core has whirled your emotions and battled against the forces of its powers to rule and dominate your kind before erasing everything of your existence. And it was all due to your unwillingness to accept her first death." Commander Lydia's words were too painful for them to be true.
The headaches, the memories, the repetitiveness of the days events, it all made sense now, they were living the same day over and over again, and none of them ever remembered.
"That is impossible! What you state cannot be true. I remember everything that has transpired these past days since our return from Earth. What you speak are lies. What is your true purpose?" Her voice was clear and certain, but only John could sense her doubt and fear.
"She's not lying, Teyla." He couldn't face her, not when he wasn't sure what was happening himself.
"We understand your rage, fears and quest for power; but we don't understand your feelings. You are unique and you are not even aware of it. She is your weakness, but at the same time, she brings forth a different alternate you, which you are not even aware, exists within you. We must learn how you accomplish this. Our actions are not based on disciplinary judgments or revenge. You may not like us now, but you still have our utmost respect and loyalty. We only seek knowledge and understanding."
John tensed. Not for the first time did he found himself both awed and frightened. He stared at Commander Reus and Commander Lydia's hard in the eyes, doubtlessly trying to connect sympathetically as he had always been able to count on in the past.
"So this has something to do with the Core that I touched," he said indignantly holding on tightly to Teyla's hand. Some things were so crystal clear in his mind, but others he still just a haze.
"We do not interfere with destiny. We only seek its understanding."
"Well then, why don't you explain it to me clearly because I don't understand." This was too much, he was running out of patience, but what really burned inside the depths of his being, was the fact this fear that was crawling through the back of his spine, like a predator slowly torturing its prey, wasn't related to the Geodes, but with time, fate, destiny; he was fighting against the inevitable.
"Our presence or absence is irrelevant. We have no say or control over the matter." Commander Lydia stated almost sympathetically.
"Like hell you do. You let her die! And you'll stand there and watch, and let her die again!" John didn't care for her pity. He wanted answers. And his fury was no match for sympathy.
He felt Teyla stiffen at his harsh words, "Are you saying that this will occur again?"
"You have found a way to interpret your own actions against the crisis that poses an unacceptable risk to you and to those you love. We have no say or right over what you have chosen to be your path." The Commander's words were so inexplicably confusing, and yet deep within John was the answer. He just didn't know how to remember it.
"Don't talk to me in riddles! Are you telling me that I could have stopped her death? I can break this screwed-up cycle, or whatever the hell this is? Just tell me how to do it!" There was anguish and rage; hatred and love in his words.
"Only the Ancestors have the ability to reverse time and change the course of a pre-destined future. John possesses no such medium. I do not fear for my death, but I will fight for the people of this city," Teyla's voice faltered for just a fraction of a second, "You are simply avoiding telling us the truth of your purpose."
"Your future is not yet decided, we only desire to understand you as much as you've wanted to understand us. That is our only purpose." John had enough of their games, and their words were saying nothing to him and these last words from Commander Lydia only sparked the gates of hell raging within him.
Behind the Geodes words was the answer, but clearly they weren't going to give it to him directly. Everything had to be a mystery for these aliens in this galaxy. Nothing was every clearly spelled out in front of you, he thought.
"Where do I go from here?" He asked, feeling the need of urgency.
"John, you will do nothing drastic." The turmoil in her voice shot through him stronger than any bullet could penetrate through his heart. But he had already made up his mind. He wasn't going to watch her die again.
"You said you wanted to understand," he brought Teyla's arm and placed it in his heart. "If I agree to this, you will let her live, and you will leave Atlantis and never come back again."
"John, this is not real. Do you even comprehend what it is that you are consenting to do?" At first, her question troubled John visibly. And then her fingers tightened against his and the answer blazed his mind.
"Yes." He knew he should have said more, but what was there to explain? There were no promises, nothing guaranteed, but there was life, her life and that was all there was to it. Yes, he would do anything to save her.
"We never doubted you, Colonel Sheppard." Both Commanders couldn't hide the sadistic glee in their voices.
John was exhausted. He didn't know how long this conversation had lasted, but he felt the weight of the city on his shoulders all of the sudden. It was as if this entire charade was nothing but a big joke. He wondered if perhaps he was lying in one of the infirmary beds, unconscious and tied up with an IV and an oxygen tank. Wouldn't that be a relief! Yet, something deep inside him told him the truth was right outside the city walls. Suddenly, his eyes went to the windowpane, watching at the mirage outside the city's waters. Faint colors swirled around the dark blue waters of the sea, and he remembered that that was the same phenomenon that he'd seen throughout the days.
He first saw it when he was flying over to the energy signal that was transmitting the readings that Rodney had detected. He then saw a similar mirage when he was meeting with the Geodes Commanders on their ship while Teyla spoke to the escort leading them to the Councilmen; A Fata Morgana, the Commander had called the phenomenon.... but, wait, that can't be. That hasn't happened, not yet.... Not... He turned and faced both Commanders.
"I can't make you understand what I can't explain myself. I can only show you." John remained outwardly calm, his voice betraying none of his true vexation.
"Yes." Commander Reus replied anxiously.
Everything was beginning to make sense to him, "Promise to take us back to the beginning, before this all started."
"We are in agreement." The Commanders uniformly replied.
He slowed his breathing, calming his mind. He breathed deeply and turned to see her.
Teyla.
How does he explain to her what he himself doesn't understand? How can he show love when he can't even bring himself to admit his feelings to her, never mind to himself?
Golden skin that outshined the sunlight's rays, streaks of firelight hair that tousled pleasantly upon her shoulders, cheeks that flushed and burned fearlessly; that was Teyla; A strikingly beautiful woman, an extraordinary woman. And he had foolishly wasted so many opportunities to tell her just how much he really cared for her. How could he deny that he wanted more than just her friendship?
Love was a strange and terrible thing. John had thought he could avoid it after Nancy. Courting was fun, sex a lot of fun but love-well that was a pointless illusion.
But after seeing Teyla that first time in Athos, he knew- he knew that he wanted to lure this woman into his world. When they stood in front of each other, forehead to forehead only a few years ago, from that day, he had vowed to protect her at any cost and to never let any harm come to her. John focused on her form, full of bravery and pride, of wisdom and love.
Yes, love. He's always known she loved him, but he was too afraid to venture in her direction. Now, he was being force to do what he's always wanted.
And she didn't understand.
But at this moment, no force was going to stop him from making her see how he truly feels and yet...gently, her fingers trailed along his jaw, and he heard a gasp escape from her lips.
"Teyla," he whispered, but her fingers move and rose, shushing his lips.
He reached for her fingers and slowly cradled them with his, holding her closer to him.
He could see her eyes reading into his soul, for only she had that power, and he saw the moment that clarity shimmered in her eyes.
"It has always been there. I just hid it very well." He confessed, keeping their hands linked tightly, looking deeply into her eyes.
"It has always been clear to me. You only had to voice it."
Whatever happened after this, he would always remember this moment. The sweet shape of her face, her dark brown eyes, and the round mouth he so wanted to touch with his own. He was so close to her, that it was with the smallest step forward that his face was in her hair and then her arms were around his back, holding each other firmly.
It seemed so simple, now, to be this close to her, to feel her against him so intimately. For so many years, the thought alone had terrified him. He never thought himself a fool, but now he could see it written all over his face. This was such a magnificent relief, that he knew later, much later, after he'd fight the big bad monsters, reclaim his title as the dashing hero that saved the day once again and finally kiss the pretty Athosian Queen; yeah, after all that, he would take the time to curse himself for all the missed moments that he could have had with her since they first met.
But that could wait too.
He took a step closer and cupped her face in his hands. He looked down at her soulful eyes. She simply took his breath away. Devotedly, he kissed her forehead and dusted a kiss on the tip of her lips and leaned....
"What the hell is going on here?" John's lips were still moist against Teyla's lips when he heard Rodney from behind.
The sirens were going off in the city and the floor trembled from beneath their feet.
Woolsey, Ronon and Lorne also woke abruptly, confusion clearly in their faces.
To no surprise, John realized that the Geodes had dematerialized and were gone.
"There's no time for explanations. Rodney, follow me!" He still held Teyla's hands with his.
"Oh, great. I've no clue what's going on but I still have to save the day."
"Rodney, if you think you're having a shitty day," he glanced over to Teyla, "you should try ours on for size."
Woolsey stood from his chair, "Colonel Sheppard, would you care to explain what is going on here?"
"We need to get rid of that Core before it all happens again." He was running out of time. He's fighting against time.
"What happens again, Sheppard?" Ronon's voice was loud and clear but John couldn't sit around and answer any questions.
"Sorry, buddy, but I gotta go." John tapped his earpiece ready to call someone.
"Sheppard?" the Satedan's husky voice thundered from behind Teyla.
"Ronon, Sheppard is trying to prevent us from repeating the same day over again." Teyla was always reliable not too give too much or too little of the information needed, just enough to calm everyone down for just a bit.
"What?" Ronon's loud voice was almost comical.
Apparently, Teyla's summary wasn't enough.
"We need to get to Rodney's lab! Gather the marines and secure the gate room." John activated his radio piece again, "Chuck, get ready to shut down the shield on my command."
"Yes, Sir!"
"John, what exactly are you going to do?" Teyla's voice was full of concern.
"Simple, we need to take the mother ship back home." He tugged onto Teyla's sleeve and they started to run.
********
Chaos was evident in the city's hallways. Sparks of lights firing everywhere, and members of the expedition team frantically ran seeking refuge, as John and his team ran straight to Rodney's lab.
As suspected, the Core was twirling savagely. Rays of light in all sorts of colors filled the room.
John drew near the Core but he wasn't sure what would happen when he took hold of the device. For all he knew, he had attempted this already and it hadn't worked.
"John, perhaps you should use some sort of containment system to transport the Core." Teyla looked at him inquiringly.
"Don't worry, I've done this before. Fourteen times if I'm not mistaken, and I'm still here." He smiled in her direction trying to ease her tension just as much as his.
He ran furiously down the corridors, yelling for everyone to clear his path. He got to the balcony nearest the gate room. He looked over the darkening panorama outside the opening doors. Though it was becoming increasingly difficult to make out anything clear outside, it was evident that nightfall had come with dismaying speed. Without hesitating, he turned towards the Core and held it tightly in his hands.
"Are you certain of this, John?" Teyla cried.
"Have I ever been wrong, Teyla?" The rays of light were burning through his skin, but he wasn't about to stop now. He called on his radio, "Chuck, lower the shield now!"
"Yes, Colonel!" came the voice in less than 30 seconds.
"Sheppard, I hope you know what you're doing. We've lost all systems and power failure." Rodney's voice drummed in his ear clearly adding to the tension.
"Crap, it's happening again!" He cursed softly, venomously.
John ran outside, his skin beginning to char due to the effects of the strong rays of light emitting from the Core.
He could hear footsteps right beside him but he paid no attention. Everything inside him was telling him to get this device out of the city as soon as possible.
The doors closed behind him and as he stepped to the edge of the railings, he wondered if he had done this already and had failed.
John ran forward as the tempest roared violently outside the city's water edge.
"Sheppard, it's too dangerous out there. You're going to get hit by lighting!" He could hear Rodney's frantic pitch on the other side of his earpiece.
"Sheppard," for Ronon that was the unfinished question.
"It'll work," He turned and face Ronon, and last his eyes fell on Teyla. "Stay back, and keep Teyla away."
This has to work, it has to work. He kept repeating to himself over and over and over again, till he finally convinced himself. Because Teyla had to live, the city of Atlantis would return back to normal, and this was not his day to die.
He'd been wrong about so many things, and by what the Geodes said, he had relived this day once too many times and always failed to correct it.
He only hoped this wasn't another one of those repeated times.
********
Voices swirled around him.
Teyla.
Rodney.
Ronon.
John tried to focus on one single sound, but they merged with each other, making it impossible for him to make out exactly what they were saying. Every few seconds he would pick up a few words.
The Core.
The Geodes.
Your Weakness.
Lies In Her.
Then there was nothing.
He woke restless, but at least his headache was gone. He had a busy day yesterday and he wasn't in the mood to repeat a similar day again.
"Sheppard," He could hear Rodney's voice from his radio piece.
"Rodney. Do you ever sleep?"
"Do you remember that strong energy reading I told you about yesterday?"
"No, I don't remember." Yeah, he remembered, but he wasn't going to tell Rodney that. The man had so many energy readings and so many discoveries, some were bound to be on his "No Way in Hell Am I Going In There List".
"Well, I thought we were going to head out this morning to locate the source of that energy reading in the middle of the sea. And guess what I found? NOTHING! What the hell did you do last night? Did you move us into another area of the planet?"
"Yes, Rodney. That's exactly what I did. I was tired of that same old scenery. Look outside your window. You might be a bit surprised." Yup, he had in fact flown the city outside of the city's waters. He had this horrible intuition that this place simply wasn't appropriate. Woolsey didn't question it, not to mention the fact, that it had this rather large mass of water current in the middle of the ocean waters, which wouldn't make it safe to land the city there anyways. But Rodney didn't need to know all the details. What the scientist didn't know, he couldn't use against you.
Only a couple of minutes passed when McKay was on again, "What did you do, Sheppard? We're not even in water anymore! We're in space!"
"Rodney, I get a bad feeling every time you want to go explore something with pretty colors and strong energy readings. Let's take this one slow. Not everything that's out there is meant for us to play around with." John smiled nonchalantly.
"Whom have you been talking to?"
John left his quarters and kept walking through the corridors heading to meet up with Ronon for breakfast in the mess hall nodding to the members of the expedition team on the way.
"I don't remember, but I heard that from someone. Look, we can talk about this later. Stay out of trouble! Sheppard out."
He walked up to the mess hall and browsed around the room but didn't find who he was looking for.
He went up to the buffet table and grabbed a mug of coffee and headed back out into the city corridors.
He was just about to get onto the transporter heading to the control room when he spotted Teyla's form on the far side of the balcony.
Memories of when she had just come back from a mission with him, where she took control of a Wraith Queen's mind, endangering her unborn child's life just to save him, came vividly to his mind. They had stood on that same balcony together and she had confessed how close she came to losing her child's life, and all to save the team, to save him. At that time, he felt uncomfortable holding her in his arms. She wanted his comfort and he simply didn't know how to give it to her. They were still at odds since she had confessed her pregnancy to him. That had shocked him so strongly, that their relationship after that only grew apart. Then, when Kanaan came back into her life, she no longer needed his comfort, and they became even more distant.
But now, almost two years since her pregnancy, things were beginning to change, and for the better.
Kanaan was no longer an obstacle. Ronon had made sure to tell him repeatedly several times. Now that he thinks about it, it seems that's all he's been talking about the past couple of days.
But with Teyla, John had made a long habit of resisting temptation. Now, something in him wore him down. The idea was always there, nagging at him, and he couldn't let it go. This was right. This was not an illusion; his feelings for her were real.
Then something struck him. Something so painful, he stepped back for a minute.
This was different.
He didn't want it to be different. He was tired of feeling as though a huge hollow had opened up in his life, as though he'd lost something so important he couldn't even begin to imagine the depth of that loss. He wanted to forget the utter bliss of even thinking that something terrible might or could have happened to her and he unable to do anything about it.
And so he wouldn't hold back anymore. He was driven by a gnawing impulse to go to her. There had been more than plenty of times when he thought he was a goner for sure, never to tell her just how he truly feels. The shock was so great that he realized, with an odd kind of remoteness, that he was breathing fast and hard, and his vision had narrowed until he saw nothing but her from a short distance.
All his life he had dealt with facts, in hard reality, in what was and is. Reality is solid. He could depend on reality; depend on being a cold, hard, and true. That was okay with him, because all his life he had the facts staring right in his face, painful, but real.
He took several deep breaths and shook off whatever the hell it was that had him so on edge. All he had to do was face Teyla.
And so he gave into temptation, and eagerly strode into the balcony without a clue as to what he would say or do. The only thing he was certain of was that this time, it felt right.
The doors swished automatically for him and she turned to him with a smile, "Johh."
"Teyla." He threaded his fingers through his hair. He was throbbing with his need to touch her. To feel her and know that she was real.
"Is everything all right?" She turned and gave him that sweet smile that went straight to his heart.
"Far as I know, all is okay." There was the sudden uncomfortable silence and for a second he thought of leaving.
"I suspected you were meeting with Mr. Woolsey this morning in regards to a transmission from a ship traveling in our direction?" He had gotten a call from Chuck not too long ago. He checked it out himself last night right after Chuck called him. It wasn't a transmission after all.
"No, we rescheduled it for later on in the day. It was just some space residue or something. Rodney is pretty worked up about it, too. He thought he'd found the Holy Grail."
"The Holy Grail? You must explain that to me later. Poor Rodney, it is a shame. I will remember to pay him a visit before I leave."
"You're off to New Athos, today." He remembered.
"Yes, I am waiting for Major Kalvin."
That smart ass fly boy always wanted to go with Teyla to New Athos with the excuse he was there to teach the kids how to play football. And he didn't even want to think when the guy dared to say that he loved Teyla's cooking. No wonder the guy's not too bright! He made a mental note to change this week's roster. The guy was out of shape. He had a feeling Major Kalvin would be too tired and sore after a couple of practice rounds with Ronon to want to go with Teyla back to New Athos anytime soon.
"How long are you planning on staying?" He wanted to spend time with her and usually she left for days to visit with Torren. Since returning from Earth, it was important for Teyla that Torren get back to his ancestral roots, back to his Athosian heritage.
"A few days, but I will return briefly tomorrow to help Rodney in his lab." She turned and faced the seas. "It seems he has found some strange powerful energy somewhere in the depths of that colorful phenomenon effect there in the horizon." She pointed straight towards the surface of the water in the planet.
When John followed her gaze, at first, there was nothing visible there.
And then, he saw it. An orchestra of a spectacle with more colors than any rainbow could have, dancing just above the top of the oceans' surface.
"Yeah, I wouldn't go calling him on it. He just told me that there's no energy reading anymore. He doesn't know that I put a fake picture on his window and now he thinks we're in flying in space." He gave her his best grin. "So you see, that's really an optical illusion. There's really nothing there."
He could feel the surprise of his words as she turned to face him.
"Should we not go and explore this "optical illusion?" There was that teasing in her voice that John had missed between them so much.
"Not everything that we see is real or meant for us to explore." And yet, he wanted nothing more than to have something real with her.
"True, some things are not always what they seem."
"An optical illusion," he leaned closer to her, brushing her arm with his, both staring out at the sea, his elbows resting on the railings. "Although Rodney would probably call it by its scientific term, a Fata Morgana."
Her soft laughter warmed his heart. "John Sheppard, are you quoting, Rodney?"
"Actually, he's not the one I heard it from." He thought of a face and a name, but there was nothing. "I just can't remember who at the moment."
"Explain this, Fata Morgana?" He turned towards her and her eyes sparkled beneath the morning's sunrays and the shimmer in her eyes was almost translucent in their meaning.
All clarity hit him and he remembered why he came to see her in the first place. Things were about to change. He was not going to repeat the same mistake again.
He leaned closer, staring into her eyes and he saw that he was enmeshed with her nearness. She straightened and faced him, stepping just a bit closer to him. He broke the distance and slid one an arm around her waist, leaving no room for any space between them.
It felt so right to hold her so closely against him, to surrender to the coaxing pressure of his hand at her back. To feel her fingers conform to the hard swell of his chest, smiling at him with acceptance and pure delight.
"Teyla, I'm not good at this," he bent and nuzzled into her hair.
He felt her laughter against his chest and he knew then he was lost in the warmth of her embrace.
"I beg to differ," her whisper shot through his senses.
He lifted his head from the crook of her neck and with a flirtatious sparkle in his eyes, he surrendered to her completely. The effect was instant and brutal with its intensity, letting his heart speak what he hid for so many years. "I thought I wanted us to take things slow, but now..."
"I can surely attest that six years has been slow enough." She had struck home. Now, everything would fall into place.
"Then let's not waste anymore time."
He cupped her chin in his hand, tilted her face so he could read every nuance of her expression. His hand lingered as he smoothed a strand of her hair behind her ear. She sighed and turned her cheek against his palm while he pressed his lips to the underside of her jaw, loving the smell of her, the feel of her warm skin against his lips.
Slowly, ever so reverently, he pressed her fully against him, and bent his head further. Her breathing soft and warm aroused the burning flame of his skin and tenderly, ever so gently, he kissed her with an unspoken promise of a very real future together.
~The End~
Sidenotes:
Author's Note:
The first paragraphs of this story, the ones spoken from the Geodes, are quotes. I wanted them to sound all smart and very philosophical. ;)
These are as follows:
The future is big with every possibility of achievement and of tragedy. ~Alfred North Whitehead
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. ~Bible psalms 30-5
Power tends to corrupt; the illusion of power corrupts absolutely. ~Anonymous
The lust for power never dies-men cannot have enough.~Aeschylus
Power always has most to fear from its own illusions. ~James Fenimore Cooper
Of all the illusions that beset mankind none is quite so curious as the tendency to suppose that we are mentally and morally superior to those who differ from us in opinion. ~Elbert Hubbard
Wisdom knows the proper limits of things. ~Seneca The Younger
Much learning does not teach understanding. ~ Heraclitus
We only understand that which is already within us. ~ Henri Amiel
Those who understand only what can be explained understand very little. ~ Marie von Ebener-Eschenbach
Our greatest illusion is to believe that we are what we think ourselves to be. ~ Henri Amiel
Lastly, the definition of Fata Morgana as told by the Geodes speaking to Teyla while they were on the Geodes ship is quoted from Wikipiedia. :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fata_Morgana_(mirage)
I think that is all of them but if I should forget any, please let me know. Thanks!