Fic: Objects In The Rear View Mirror - Part 2 of 2 (McKay/Sheppard, NC-17)
Title: Objects In The Rear View Mirror (Are Closer Than They Appear)
Author: silverraven11
Recipient: reddwarfer, who wanted a McShep AU.
Pairing: John/Rodney, Jeannie/Kaleb
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~18,000
Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers: SG-1 5.14 48 Hours
Author's Notes: Infinite thanks to my beta kisahawklin for handholding, cheerleading, editing, and for sticking with me and this fic. If this story is at all enjoyable, it's because of her. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Summary: When Rodney first met Captain John Sheppard, his world was turned upside down. Now, years later, John has breezed back into Rodney's life. The problem? He won't breeze back out.
( Objects In The Rear View Mirror (Are Closer Than They Appear) - Part 1 of 2 )
In the following weeks, Sheppard's behavior befuddled Rodney. Sheppard and he were hardly ever alone together, Sheppard preferring to spend his time with Elizabeth and others on Rodney's staff. More than once Rodney caught Sheppard looking over Radek's shoulders but he never got anywhere near Rodney. That wasn't to say he ignored Rodney or never spoke with him, quite the opposite. Sheppard was perfectly professional with him, he wasn't rude or malicious. Their discussions never got personal, Sheppard's manners impeccable, his face devoid of any emotion. He only raised an eyebrow when Rodney berated his staff and when Rodney turned his tirade on Sheppard? Nothing. No come backs, no insults, no yelling back.
Last Friday, Rodney had been accepting his change from the cashier at the pizzeria across the street from work and turned towards the exit when a distinct long-forgotten laugh stopped him in his tracks. He turned his head in the direction the noise came from and sure enough, there was Sheppard laughing his ass off with both Simpson and Dumais sitting across from him and... Carson seated beside him?!
Without thought, Rodney stomped to their table and addressed the female scientists harshly, "Shouldn't you two be working?"
"It's called lunch, Rodney," Sheppard replied good-naturedly, lazily smiling at his companions.
"Lunch is an hour long, I believe these two are well over that now."
Sheppard opened his mouth. Here it comes, Rodney thought excitedly, Sheppard's going to tell him his being too harsh or call him a slave driver or or... "That's probably my fault. They were just finishing when I joined them - I didn't want to eat alone," he said coyly, grinning rakishly at the ladies.
The two women giggled. "We really should be going though," Simpson said, standing and Dumais followed. See you laters were exchanged all around and promises of future lunches (Rodney rolled his eyes, so very bored) and they finally left.
Rodney was about to leave himself when Carson glowered, "That wasn't very nice, Rodney."
"I'm not a nice man," he said and Carson made the face he always did when Rodney said that, like he knew something Rodney didn't.
"Well, don't just stand there, you daft bugger, seat down."
Rodney sat and then blinked in surprise at how quickly he followed Carson's command. He shrugged and dug into his pepperoni pizza.
"John here was just tell-" it was John now, was it? Rodney scowled. "...his own jet."
"Jet?" Rodney asked, realizing he had missed what Carson had said.
Sheppard nodded. "Pratt & Whitney JT15 engine, 3190 pounds of thrust," he informed smugly, still smiling but the warmth in his eyes left when Rodney had sat down. "Fastest personal jet in the world."
Oh, he was talking about The AeroTech Maverick that was introduced two years ago. You would think he would be over the whole 'fastest personal tin can' aspect by now.
"I fly it here every Thursday night. Takes off like a dream..." Sheppard continued on about his plane but Rodney no longer paid attention, letting the words wash over him. Instead he focused on the man himself. Sheppard had an almost dream-like expression, his hands waving around in animation, the years seeming to disappear from his face. He looked exactly like he did when Rodney had asked him why he loved flying so very long ago.
Maybe some things don't change - Rodney stiffened, banishing the idea immediately.
Carson's ringing cell phone interrupted Sheppard's chatter. "Sorry, lads. I have to get back," Carson apologized after he answered the call.
"Sure. Talk to you later, doc," Sheppard said and Rodney waved a quick goodbye as Carson left.
An air of awkwardness settled over the two men remaining and after a long moment, Rodney asked, "Your wife doesn't mind you leaving her once a week?"
"I'm not married." Sheppard lifted his left hand and wiggled his ring finger as if to prove it.
There was no ring, Rodney hadn't bothered to look before. It was easier for him to think of Sheppard as married, unavailable. "I wasn't very good at it. Didn't make it two years before she..." Sheppard trailed off and took a small bite out of his cheese pizza. "So Dr. Z was telling me that you've made a lot of progress this week."
Rodney snapped, suddenly sick of it, sick of Sheppard. The way his face turned blank anytime Rodney was near. The way he easily made friends with those closest to Rodney. How he was always so polite with Rodney, like Rodney was a goddamn stranger. Rodney wanted some kind of reaction, some proof that he wasn't the only one feeling like he was slowly ripping apart at the seams.
He wanted something, anything was better then this forced civility. "She left you, huh? I can't say I'm surprised." Rodney turned callous eyes to Sheppard, wanting to savor this. "Only that it took her so long before she wised up."
Sheppard immediately stiffened, hurt blazing across his face. Rodney's triumph only lasted a moment, Sheppard's face shifted blank again rapidly. With an unruffled voice and terse smile, he said, "Enjoy the rest of your lunch, McKay," and walked away.
"Rodney?" Radek's voice jarred Rodney back into the present.
"What?" He looked up from his computer and watched Radek warily approach his desk, datapad in hand.
"I wish to speak with you about the McAllen account."
"Yes, what about it?" Rodney asked impatiently, agitated that Radek wasn't just getting to the point. He had completed the specs on an updated lightweight backpacker's stove that McAllen Sporting Goods had wanted and handed it off to Radek to add the finishing touches earlier that day.
Radek replied, "Your design, it will not work," and gave the datapad to Rodney.
Rodney looked down at the numbers and pinpointed the error right away. "Yes, I see. I'll correct it. You can go now."
Radek narrowed his eyes at Rodney's dismissal. "That is not all." His tone and posture were no longer hesitant. "The dimensions you wrote are wrong."
Rodney glanced at the screen again. Damn it! Radek was right. It was a rookie mistake and they both knew it.
"You have not been yourself lately."
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm perfectly fine," Rodney said. As an afterthought he added softly, "What makes you say that?"
"It has been over a month and you are not even close to designing a functional cloak. The old Rodney would be almost done by now."
"While I appreciate your faith in my abilities, even I can't work faster than is humanly possible."
"It is John Sheppard, no?"
"What! Why would you... I couldn't care less about John Sheppard," he said, his voice not as strong and sure as he would have liked.
"I do not think so. I see the way you look at him, when you think no one is looking."
"And how would that be?"
"With longing." Radek eyes met Rodney's with a challenge in them, daring Rodney to contradict him.
"I don't!" Radek was wrong - wrong, wrong, wrong! Rodney took a deep breath, getting control of himself and stated coolly, "I don't want Sheppard."
Radek shrugged, his light blue eyes softening. "I worry about you, my friend. I fear your affections are not returned." Rodney didn't refute Radek, Sheppard's feelings for him were abundantly clear - he felt nothing. "And I do not wish to see you hurt," Radek finished.
Rodney glanced away for a moment, reining in his thoughts. Then he met Radek's gaze dead on and spoke in a voice that left no room for doubt, "You have nothing to worry about, Radek. I never make the same mistake twice."
~ ~ ~ ~
Rodney made his way to the conference room, laptop tucked underneath one arm and coffee cup in the other. He met up with Sheppard a few feet from the doorway and they exchanged a clipped nod before entering.
Dr. Weir and Radek were already there, sitting side by side, deep in conversation. Not good. In all the previous meetings, Sheppard and Elizabeth sat on one side of the table and Rodney and Radek on the other.
Rodney watched as Sheppard took a chair opposite Elizabeth and for an instant thought of sitting next to Radek or a chair away from Sheppard but realizing that he was indeed an adult, parked himself next to Sheppard.
"Ah, good, everyone's here. Why don't we have Dr. Zelenka start this week."
Rodney listed to Radek's spiel for a few minutes before he unconsciously took a sideways glimpse at Sheppard. The man was casually slouching back; the only thing needed to complete the image was for Sheppard to put his feet up. Honestly, he had the most atrocious posture of anyone Rodney knew. He was frequently lounging about and would...lean on things. There wasn't a wall or surface that Sheppard hadn't rested his damn lithe hips against, not that Rodney was keeping track or anything. They were stupid hips anyway, too bony for Rodney's liking.
Rodney refocused his concentration to Radek, straightening his back and taking a deep breath - only to realize too late what a big mistake that was. Sheppard's cologne hit his system out of nowhere, but it was what lay underneath it that tore at Rodney. Joh- Sheppard's! - own unique scent, a hint of woodiness that was so familiar to Rodney he couldn't help taking another whiff. The urge to get closer, to envelope himself in that smell was nearly overpowering.
"-dney?" Elizabeth's voice snapped Rodney back to attention.
"Wha... Yes?" Rodney answered, switching his gaze to her, unable to look at Radek's far too perceptive eyes.
"Are you feeling alright, Rodney?" Elizabeth inquired worriedly. "You looked a bit, uh... peaked."
"I'm fine. Now, I'm made some modifications to the design that I believe you'll like," Rodney said, opening his laptop and explaining his adjustments.
Once the meeting ended, Elizabeth and Sheppard left together while Rodney shut down his laptop. When the screen went black, Rodney headed out only to be stopped by Radek placing his hand on Rodney's shoulder.
Radek opened his mouth, but Rodney was faster, "I know what you're going to say so just don't, okay?"
"I was only going to ask if you would like to go see the new X-Men movie."
"Oh." Relief swept through Rodney, not wanting another lecture on his supposed affections for Sheppard. Any fondness he might have had for John Sheppard was dead and buried in the past. "Yeah, I would like that. Just let me finish up a few things and we can go."
"Sure." Radek took off in the direction of their offices. Rodney was about to follow when he considered that maybe Carson would like to go too. He made a quick about face and set off to find him.
He was walking past Dr. Weir's office when he heard her say, "Ready?" Rodney assumed she was speaking to him and peeked in, but she was talking to Sheppard.
"Yup. Anyplace in particular you want to go?" Sheppard asked while putting on his jacket.
"I was thinking Italian."
Sheppard zipped up and reached for Elizabeth's coat. "Never could say no to a good lasagna."
He held out the garment for Elizabeth to slip into.
"Thank you, John," Elizabeth said warmly, her eyes doting and Rodney's jaw dropped in disbelief.
"You know me, always happy to help." Sheppard smiled flirtatiously and Rodney's blood ran cold.
He barely remembered returning to his office, body moving automatically. He closed the door, propping himself against the wooden structure.
How the hell could he have missed something this big? Rodney's mind flashed through these past two months, wondering when their romance started. He remembered Elizabeth inviting everyone to dinner that first week or two but after that? Rodney couldn't recall, but there had definitely been no invites the past few times. Come to think of it, that was also about when they started calling each other by their first names. Okay, so about a month - long enough for them to be sleeping together. Rodney knees wobbled, about to give out, but he managed to make it to his desk chair before collapsing.
Rodney didn't know why he found the idea of them so shocking, Elizabeth had been enamored with Sheppard since meeting him. And Sheppard? Well, Elizabeth was beautiful and smart and wonderful... and a man would have to be a fool to say no to her.
Rodney's head fall back against his chair and groaned. He could just picture it: Sheppard big, warm palm curled around Elizabeth's neck, holding her as they kissed. Or, God, her long, pale legs wrapped around Sheppard's jagged hips as he pounded into her willing body again and again.
Rodney swallowed, pushing down the bile that threatened to come up.
What the heck was wrong with him? What should it matter to him what those two did together? They were adults, two consenting adults that could do whatever they pleased. They could go fuck like bunnies for all Rodney cared.
This was fine. Perfectly. Fine.
~ ~ ~ ~
It was late on Friday night, way later than even Rodney usually stayed. Rodney was staving, he hadn't eaten dinner but that didn't matter, he'd done it. Well almost, he just had to double check some equations.
A few minutes later it all checked out (as if there was ever any doubt). He was finished... a whole three weeks before the deadline, ha! Rodney was feeling quite pleased with himself when he heard a noise. He looked up, saw nothing and then looked down at his watch, almost midnight. When he looked up again he might have yelped (a teeny tiny one) when he saw Sheppard standing in his doorway.
Today was the first day Sheppard wore jeans; they rode low on his hips and Rodney found his traitorous eyes staring at them all day, how soft they looked, hugging him in all the right places.
His jacket was off, slung carelessly over one arm and he had rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt. Rodney was failing miserably at not staring... at his arm hair or chest hair, or at any part of John Sheppard, for the matter. Was it asking too much for him to button his stupid collar?
"Hi. Forgot my briefcase." And sure enough, there it was on the floor by one of Rodney's file cabinets. Sheppard leaned down to retrieve it, and as he bent over his jeans stretched, giving Rodney a perfect view of his ass. It wasn't much of one but Rodney couldn't help remembering the first time he'd seen it.
"Oh my god! You do have an ass," he'd shrieked in amazement. John had given him a dirty look before he jumped on Rodney, sending them both crashing onto the bed. Rodney shook his head, trying to clear out the unwanted memory.
Sheppard was just straightening, black shirt falling back down, covering the glimpse of tan skin. Rodney was feeling hot; the heating system must have turned on.
"You're here late," Sheppard commented, facing Rodney now.
"Normally, yes, but I have a good reason. How did you get in here?"
"Security let me in."
"Oh. Well, um, I'm finished," Rodney said, smiling proudly.
"With what?"
Rodney stood up, made his way over to the other man, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, smile growing. "With my design. It's all ready for you to build."
Sheppard wasn't sharing Rodney's excitement; in fact, Rodney couldn't read his face at all. "That's ah, great," he finally muttered.
"Yes, well it is," Rodney agreed, searching Sheppard's face until it clicked. "You didn't think I could do it." Wow, that hurt more than Rodney was expecting.
"What! No," Sheppard said quickly. "It's just... so soon?"
"Oh. Um... yeah I'm..." Rodney didn't know what to say, he thought Sheppard would be thrilled. Rodney turned around, walked over to his desk, picked up his blueprints and gave them to Sheppard.
Who looked them over for a few minutes before saying, "It looks good." He looked at Rodney then and judging by his next comment Rodney must not be doing a good job of hiding the hurt on his face, "Really. They're incredible."
"Oh, yes. Well of course, this is me we're talking about." Yet Rodney was flushing, becoming redder when Sheppard just kept on studying him.
"I want to offer you a job," Sheppard finally said.
Rodney furrowed his brows in confusion. "I don't understand."
"I want you to come work for me, Rodney. As my chief engineer and researcher." Sheppard's face was blank but his eyes were watching Rodney intently.
Rodney wasn't sure what to say, his earlier good mood falling away. He settled for, "I already have a job."
Sheppard's face hardened and his back straightened. "Don't play dumb with me, McKay, you can't pull it off. It's a better position, twice the salary. You'll have your own office and lab, you won't just be designing, you'll be building too."
Rodney's ears perked up, his own lab? That sounded... rather nice actually. Plus, he missed using his hands for something other than writing. The idea of actually building that cloak and everything else Sheppard's company could offer him was tempting, but one question lingered for him. "Why?"
"You're the best, with you on board AeroTech will reach number one in no time," Sheppard replied easily, returning the designs to Rodney's desk.
"So this is all about beating the competition?" Rodney asked, his hope falling. He was a fool to think Sheppard wanted him for something other than his brain.
"Of course," Sheppard replied quickly. "Well, what do you say?"
I'm a complete idiot. For a brief moment Rodney had thought Sheppard might be offering for another reason, but why would he? He had Elizabeth now. Besides even if Sheppard was, Rodney would still say no... wouldn't he?
That's when Rodney realized what this whole undertaking had really been about. It had all been fake, from the very beginning. The fact that Sheppard oversaw the project himself, all those questions he asked, had given him a near impossible task. It had all been a test. He felt his blood begin to boil.
"I can't accept," Rodney said snidely.
He saw something flash in Sheppard eyes, but it was gone in a second. His voice was blank as he asked, "Why?"
"I can't leave Catalyst, they need me too much." It was true, many of their clients stayed because of him. Also, how could he even think about doing that to Elizabeth?
"I'll give you more money, pay the relocation costs."
"It's not about the money!" Rodney roared.
"Don't lie to me," Sheppard snarled, gripping Rodney's shoulders. "It's always about the money."
A small part of Rodney wondered what happened to make Sheppard believe that, but he didn't ask. "It's not, I'm not. What the fuck is wrong with you? Let me go." Rodney struggled but Sheppard only tightened his hold.
Sheppard clenched his jaw, spine more rigid than Rodney'd ever seen it. "I'll triple your salary."
Rodney's face turned red in fury. "I don't want your money!" he screeched.
"Then what do you want?!" Sheppard shouted, appearing exasperated.
"You!" Rodney exclaimed before his brain could stop him.
Sheppard yanked Rodney to him. "I knew it," he whispered coldly into Rodney face before crushing their mouths together. Rodney's body responded instantly, it had been so long. So.Very. Long. His body was craving it, demanding it, aching for it. Sheppard's touch, Sheppard's mouth, Sheppard's cock.
Rodney had been waiting ten years for this. He's been imaging this: John kissing him again, holding him again, wanting him again.
But not like this.
Sheppard wasn't giving him an inch. The kiss was cruel; Sheppard's demanding tongue pushing hard into Rodney's mouth, his body firm and unbending against Rodney.
Rodney tensed and pushed back. The kiss turned angry and raw, tongues and teeth clashing, a battle for dominance that he couldn't lose. It was out of control and violent and Rodney was unsure whether he wanted to shove Sheppard away or beg him never to stop.
Rodney slide his hands over Sheppard's back, clawing the skin underneath the thin fabric. Sheppard's callous hands made their own path, down to Rodney's hips and forced him backwards until he hit the large desk.
Rodney grunted from the impact, the top of his desk pressing hard into the back of his thighs, but they didn't stop kissing. Teeth still nipped too harshly, a faint taste of blood, tongues still battling for supremacy.
Sheppard's fingers made quick work of Rodney's pants, drew Rodney's dick out and Rodney gasped, his head involuntary falling back as Sheppard started pumping. Sheppard's mouth lowered to Rodney's exposed throat, teeth scraping along the vulnerable area.
Sheppard's hand continued its assault, exerting just the right amount of pressure, moving at the perfect speed, making sure to hit all the right spots. How the fuck could Sheppard possibly remember how best to jerk him off?
Rodney let out a long, loud moan, relaxing his body minutely, arching his head further back and felt the lifting of Sheppard's lips in a victorious smirk against his neck.
Oh, hell no.
With more strength than Rodney thought he had, he flung Sheppard off and hauled him against the wall, crashing their mouths together again and using his broader shoulders to keep Sheppard immobile.
He fingers flow to Sheppard's fly, felt the wetness there and his hips gave an unconscious jerk. Sheppard's impatient groan had Rodney giving another, and another, his hips snapping back and forth as Sheppard rutted against his thigh. The underside of Rodney's cock was being rubbed almost painfully by the harsh material but it only fueled Rodney's lust.
They grinded and grunted their way to orgasm, Rodney pulsing hot and sticky on both their bellies and - hot damn - he had made Sheppard come in his pants!
The smug grin on Rodney's face evaporated when he realized he was standing there with his flaccid dick hanging out. Hastily, Rodney moved back and turned, shuffling his cock in and zipping up his corduroys. Sheppard came in behind him, hands curling around the sides of Rodney's waist.
"Fuck, that was hot," Sheppard said into Rodney's ear, his cheek nuzzling Rodney's jaw. Rodney's eyes half closed, wanting so bad to lean into the other man's warm body, rest his head on Sheppard's shoulders. "Just think, once you move to Seattle we can do this whenever you want." Rodney's eyes widened. When he moved? He'd never agreed. "Can't wait until I'm back in that gorgeous ass," Sheppard told, squeezing said ass.
Rodney practically jumped away. Was that what this was all about? Sheppard just wanted an ass to fuck? Did Elizabeth not go for butt-fucking? Rodney thought venomously, rage and hurt simultaneously sweeping through him. When would he learn to stop trusting John Sheppard?
Rodney rolled up his blueprints and made sure there was no emotion in his voice when he said, "For the last time - I don't want your job."
When Sheppard didn't reply, Rodney blanked his face and squared his shoulders before turning around.
There was something in Sheppard's eyes that Rodney couldn't read, disappointment maybe? Well, too bad, guess he'll have to find some other chump to fuck. "I want you to leave. For good."
Sheppard searched his face, but he stood firm under the scrutiny, chin lifting. Sheppard eventually grabbed the bundled drawings, shoulders sagging and nodded curtly before leaving.
It was only after Rodney closed the door that he allowed his knees to give out. He slid down to the floor, legs bending until his chin could rest on his knees.
Damn it... and damn you. Damn you, John Sheppard. Damn you to hell.
~ ~ ~ ~
That weekend had been a hellish one for Rodney. The more he thought about Sheppard, the angrier he got. He couldn't wait for Monday, for his dealings with Sheppard to come to an end. If he never saw him again, it would be too soon.
When Monday did finally arrive, it wasn't what Rodney was expecting. All morning the office had been abuzz. Apparently there was some big company-wide meeting scheduled for eleven o'clock. No one knew what it was about, but Elizabeth wanted to meet privately with him and Carson before it started.
Rodney was unsurprised to find Sheppard leaning against the wall in Elizabeth's office. She invited him and Carson to take a seat before saying, "I wanted the two of you to know first. As of one hour ago, AeroTech bought Catalyst Consulting."
Rodney gasped. "Elizabeth -"
She put up a hand. "Let me finish Rodney, then we can discuss it." Elizabeth continued on for awhile longer, mainly telling them what a wonderful company AeroTech was and how this was a great opportunity for everyone. Mr. Sheppard had graciously offered everyone at Catalyst a job at twice the salary with all relocation costs paid.
If Rodney was angry at Sheppard before, it was nothing compared to the all-out fury that ran through him now. Rodney knew the majority of his co-workers wouldn't go. They had their families here, their friends, their lives were here. Those people would be out of a job, a damn good one. All because Sheppard just couldn't accept Rodney refusing to work for him. Did Sheppard even care about those people? No, of course not, Rodney thought. He wasn't naive, he understood the only way companies became hugely successful was by eliminating the competition. For Sheppard's company to become number two in U.S., Sheppard must have ruined a lot of other people's lives.
And now? Now he was doing whatever he had to insure his company would be number one. Rodney waited until Elizabeth had finished and looked to him for comment. He smiled at her, not unkindly, before standing and turning to his new boss. "I quit."
He marched out of Elizabeth's office and into his own, grabbing a small shipping box that was laying around from this morning's deliveries and started taking down his diploma's from wall behind his desk.
When there was a knock on his door a few minutes later, he prayed it wasn't Sheppard.
"Rodney," Elizabeth's soft voice came to him.
"No," Rodney said, shaking his head. "Don't Rodney me. How could you do th- how could you let him do this?"
Elizabeth sighed and closed the door. "I didn't let him to anything. I asked him to buy Catalyst."
If Rodney thought he was shocked earlier, it was nothing compared to the way he was completely stunned now. "What? Why?"
Elizabeth looked around Rodney's office for a short time before sitting down. It was then Rodney noticed how worn-out she looked. Dark circles under her eyes, pale cheeks, shoulders scrunched as if she had the weight of the world on them.
"This past year, it's been - even with the AeroTech contract, it's not enough. I - that is..." In all the years he's known her, Rodney's never heard her at a loss for words before. "A couple weeks ago the President called me. He offered me a position. Head of the SGC."
"Wow," Rodney said, plopping down in the chair opposite Elizabeth. "Wow, that's... amazing. I'm happy for you."
"Yeah?" she asked, looking up from the hands in her lap to stare at him.
He nodded. "Of course - wait, you accepted the position, didn't you? You'd have to be crazy not to."
"I-" Elizabeth blinked. "Not officially, but yes, I'm going to."
They shared a look, communicating silently, hopeful and nervous about the future. Saying goodbye.
"That's not all," she said, "you and Carson, the IOA wants you both at the Antarctica base."
Rodney scrunched up his face in distaste. "Is Kavanagh still in charge of the science team?"
"Yes, he is, but Rodney this -"
"I don't care," he interrupted, standing up. "No way I am working with that quack again, least of all under him."
"Believe me, I don't like him very much either."
"Then fire him."
Elizabeth chuckled, getting up and facing Rodney. "I'll see what I can do, but the IOA appointed him, it'll take me time to convince them I know someone much better for the job. Any thoughts on what you're going to do until then? John told me about the position he offered you."
Rodney frowned at the mention of his name. "I'm not working for him," he said, crossing his arms and lifting his chin.
"All right," Elizabeth agreed easily. "There're a lot of engineering firms in Seattle, I'm sure any one of them would love to have you."
"You bet your ass they would," he mumbled, then, "wait, why do you want me to go to Seattle? Why would you want me anywhere near your boyfriend?"
Elizabeth glanced at Rodney for a beat before releasing a quick burst of laughter. "John's not my boyfriend, Rodney. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Well, he and then... you." Rodney flushed, hands waving about, not thinking very clearly. Not her boyfriend? So they weren't? "The way you sometimes look at him..."
Elizabeth looked down, coughed. "I'll admit maybe in the beginning I - but," she suddenly looked up, meeting Rodney's eyes, "it soon became pretty clear I wasn't the one he wanted."
"What are you saying?" No way was she saying what he thought she was saying.
"I'm saying go to Seattle, Rodney, or better yet, go talk to him right now. He'll be here for a few more hours."
Rodney took a deep breath. "I can't. What if it doesn't - what if he... I can't go through it again." He knew he was fidgeting, but he couldn't help it, looking every which way except at Elizabeth.
"Rodney," she said, placing a gentle palm on his shoulder. "Sometimes you just have to have a little faith."
He rolled his eyes. "You know I'm an atheist."
~ ~ ~ ~
He had no idea what he was doing here, sitting in some rented car in the parking lot adjacent to AeroTech.
How in the hell did he always let Carson talk him into these things?
It had been the night after he had quit, Rodney answering his doorbell and not the least bit surprised to find Carson there, six-pack in hand.
The guy really wasn't so bad, if you don't count his lapse of judgment in picking voodoo for a profession.
"You going to Antarctica?" he asked after they had settled on the couch, TV on low, set on a hockey game that Rodney had been watching but not following, his mind elsewhere.
"Aye," Carson answered frowning. "Haven't told my mum yet, it's so far and she-"
"She'll be fine, Carson, she's a grown woman. What is she, like eighty now?"
"She's sixty-three," he said with a glare at Rodney.
Rodney shrugged, he could hardly be expected to remember random peoples ages.
"What about you, Rodney? What are you going to do?"
He looked down at the top of his beer can. "Still deciding."
They watched the game for a few minutes before Carson turned off the TV. "You look like a lost puppy, did you know that? Heck, you're been walking around with your tail between your legs for weeks now. How about you tell me what's going on, what happened between you and John?"
"Carson," he warned.
"Not this time, Rodney. I've known ye for too long." His accent thickening like it always did when he was upset or angry. "Ye were together once, ye cared about him once, that's as plain as day. Tell me wha' happened. Ye'll nee get rid of me till ye do."
He glared at Carson, Carson glared back before Rodney finally nodded and finished his beer in four huge gulps. He was reaching for another one when he started talking. He told Carson everything, well almost everything, he left out the sex details. When he finished, Carson stared at him for a long moment.
"Nothing's ever simple with you, is it?"
Rodney laughed, unable to help myself. "You going to give me advice or what?"
Carson's eyes were filled with mischief when he said, "And why would I do that, ye've never asked me for it."
"Never stopped you before."
"Point." He took a drink of his beer. He was still working on his first can. The man was such a lightweight. "You won't like it though."
"I repeat: never stopped you before."
Carson shifted, broadening out his shoulders like he was preparing himself for battle. "All right then, you need to see him again, talk to him. Tell him everything that you just told me."
Rodney felt his mouth curving downwards. "You're right, I don't like it."
"You need closure. It's obvious you never got over him." Rodney opened his mouth, about to contradict his friend, when Carson hushed him and continued, "You just think you have. You've buried your feelings so far deep inside you that it was easy to pretend they weren't there. But you should've done the opposite."
"The opposite?"
"Aye, let them go." Carson said it so simply, so straight-forward, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do.
Yeah right.
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Rodney asked.
"By talking with John."
So here he was, two weeks later. For the past twenty minutes he had reached for the door handle repeatedly only to pull his hand away. With a huff of disgust at himself, he opened the door, vowing to never listen to Carson again when he got back to Chicago.
He walked the short distance to the entrance and took a couple of steps before a sharp-eyed, muscular man blocked his path.
"Er...hi. I'm, uh, Doctor Rodney McKay," he squeaked out. The man's face was set in a deep scowl, his badge read: Eugene Bates, head of security.
"What's are you-" Bates started to say but was interrupted by a loud, "Rodney?"
It was Radek, thank god.
He'd never been happier to see Radek in his life. "Yes, yes, here I am. Just like you asked me to," Rodney answered as Radek made his way over to them.
"I asked you to?" Radek echoed, disbelief in his voice.
Rodney glared at him, "Yes. Don't you remember, you wanted my help, practically begged for my assistance."
"I did no such thi- " but Radek didn't finish as Rodney's eyes pleaded with him. Instead, "Tebe být zavázán mne dobrý...Oh, of course, help with the, the eh..."
"Yes, yes. Well we should be going," Rodney said quickly grabbing Radek's arms and walking toward the elevators. It seemed like Radek was a worse liar than he was.
"I'm watching you, McKay," Bates threatened as Rodney got into the elevator.
"What are you really doing here?" Radek asked once the elevator doors closed.
"I need to see Sheppard," Rodney answered hoping that would be enough to satisfy Radek. Of course it wasn't.
"Why?"
"None of your business. Look will you just show me where his office is?" Rodney barked.
Radek took a deep breath, studied Rodney for a long moment, and then pushed the button to the top floor.
"Thank you," Rodney mumbled.
Radek nodded and when the doors pinged open he said, "Last door down the hallway, you can't miss it."
With a last look at Radek, Rodney walked out, stopping when he stood in front of two wide wooden doors.
Rodney swallowed and straightened his shoulders before reaching for the handle and pushing one door open. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
Sheppard's office was huge, although it didn't have a lot in it: a couch on one side of it, a couple of filling cabinets, two chairs in front of a massive wooden desk with floor to ceiling windows behind it. Sheppard's desk wasn't much better, a laptop, a few pieces of paper, and a - no, it couldn't be - Rodney quickly assured himself that they were plenty of green travel mugs in the world.
Even ones that have the logo of the Canadian Space Agency on it, half rubbed off but still visible. There is absolutely no way Sheppard would have kept the thing, not after so long.
Rodney looked at the man sitting behind that desk. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt, collar unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow, leaning back in his chair, smirking at Rodney.
"Finally come to your senses?" Sheppard asked coldly.
It was the cruel smile, the harshness in Sheppard's face, the 'oh-so-casual' slouch, the condescending attitude that set Rodney off. All his anger came rushing back to him, all-out rage slamming through his body. He positively loathed John Sheppard.
"I didn't come here for the job," he remarked, his voice equally as callous. "Jesus Christ Sheppard, you're the biggest asshole I've ever met! You go around pretending to be Mr. Nice Guy, all smiles, but it's all an act, you're ruthless and manipulative." He couldn't stop the words from coming out, he didn't want to. It was the truth, and it felt damn good to say them to Sheppard's face.
"I hate you, Sheppard, I don't want to work for you, I don't want you at all." He should leave right now, just walk out the door and never come back but he couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. "I want my John back."
Fuck. He hadn't meant to say that.
The words hang in the air, Sheppard deathly still, a gobsmacked expression on his face.
Rodney thought he probably didn't look much better himself.
Sheppard rose out his chair slowly. "You always had him," he said slowly, carefully.
"Oh please," Rodney said, not buying it. "I saw you that night at the bar, saw you with that redhead, kissing her."
"Nothing happened. It was just one kiss, besides I wasn't the one that cheated first. Tell me something McKay, did you wait at all?" he asked, advancing toward Rodney, his face turning cold again. "Or were you off fucking some woman the second I left your door?"
"You bastard. How dare you? I thought about you every day. Every fucking day. Plotting how I could get you assigned to Area 51, fantasizing about-" Rodney stopped abruptly, not wanting to tell Sheppard how truly pathetic he'd been. That he'd read everything he could find on gay sex, practiced on bananas until he could swallow without choking, waiting for the day John returned so he could fall to his knees and give him a proper blow job, not the few lame attempts of before.
Sheppard let out a disbelieving snort. "You sure had a funny way of showing it then."
"What are you talking about?!" Rodney was the injured party here. Sheppard raised his hand, looking like he wanted nothing more than to strangle Rodney, but settled instead, the arm falling away. His whole body seemed to deflate as he went to his window and looked out. He took a deep breath, his back to Rodney.
"What else was I supposed to think?" Rodney strained to hear Sheppard's words, but he didn't move closer. "You were hardly writing to me anymore, what you did send was - it was all about... Sam Carter," Sheppard said her name disdainfully, like a curse. "I messed up. I was trying to - I watched... I called you the second I came back, left a message, almost beg- you didn't come."
Oh God, he hadn't known, he hadn't even thought. Rodney's head was swimming, trying to process the new information. "I never got your message," he said, but Sheppard didn't seem to hear him, lost in his own memories.
Rodney noticed that Sheppard's whole body was slumped, his head down, resting against the glass, as if all the fight had gone out of him. Rodney couldn't help closing the distance between them, but when he was only a foot away, he paused.
"I didn't get that message, my cat she broke the machine before I came home. I would - nothing would've kept me away," Rodney's words were almost like a plea for Shep- no John, it was John, he would always be John - to hear.
John's shoulders stiffened. "Bullshit, McKay. I heard all about the two of you at Peterson, I went to her talk, saw the way you looked at her, saw you having dinner with her. You couldn't take your damn eyes off her."
Rodney shook his head, John had it all wrong. Rodney was terrified of messing this up, he's never been good with people, but he couldn't help moving his hand to John's shoulder - which was the wrong thing to do.
John had him pinned against the wall in a heartbeat, knocking the breath out of Rodney's lungs, his hands holding Rodney's wrists on either side of Rodney's head. "What, McKay? You gonna tell me it wasn't true, that I imagined it all," he snarled, breath hot against Rodney's face.
"Yes! You fucking moron." Okay, so maybe calling John a moron right now wasn't the smartest thing Rodney'd ever done, but he wasn't taking it back. He had to get through that thick skull. "I never got your message. Sam and I are friends, that's all. I never wanted her, never wanted anyone, not like I want you."
Rodney looked into John's eyes then, his anger gone replaced by so many other emotions that Rodney couldn't recognize them all. Rodney saw torment in their golden green depths and that had Rodney's insides churning.
"John," he said, "I've waited ten years for you."
"Jesus," John muttered before closing the distance between them.
The instant John lips touched his it was like liquid fire poured from him to Rodney. Heat licked at Rodney, scorched him, consumed him. Rodney melted against John, reveling at each swipe of John's warm tongue against his.
John's scent filled Rodney's nostrils - he smelled like home. Rodney's hands crept up around John's neck, his fingers sliding into the silky thickness of John's hair.
When John's lips abandoned his, Rodney moaned in protest, until the drag of Sheppard's tongue down the length of his neck transformed the sound to one of pleasure. He clutched John's head, urging him on, tilting his own head.
John's hands grabbed the bottom of Rodney's shirt, pulling it up. Rodney took a deep breath, sucking in his gut before raising his arms, letting it out when he saw only desire in John's eyes.
His fingers went to unbutton John's shirt and then tugged it off, only to gape at John's chest - muscled, tanned skin covered by wisps of dark curls, just the beginning of a rounded belly. He couldn't resist combing his fingers through the fine hair.
John's lips were on his again, his hands unzipping Rodney's pants, causing Rodney's breath to hitch. John broke away, bending to remove Rodney's shoes, socks, not stopping until he had Rodney completely naked. Rodney shivered, goosebumps covering his skin, whether it was from the chilly air or the intensity of John's eyes, he wasn't sure.
"John," Rodney whined.
John brushed his lips against Rodney's. "Get on the couch."
Rodney eyed the couch. It did look big and soft... and expensive. He grinned and made his way over, wondering if after this they would both have a kink for office sex. Made they already had one. He laid down and watched as John finished undressing. Still no tan lines, Rodney thought in amazement.
John strode over to the him, cock jutting out proudly. Rodney's mouth began to water.
John crawled over Rodney, kneeling between Rodney's legs, eyes sweeping over Rodney's body.
Rodney wrapped his legs around John's thighs, forcing John down. They both moaned at the first touch of skin against skin.
"Feels so good," John said huskily. He nibbled on Rodney's ear and Rodney made a purring noise. John made his way down to Rodney's neck, a hint of stubble scratching wonderfully at Rodney's skin.
Rodney felt like his body was kindling and John his match. Lying dormant, just waiting to be set fire to, only needing the lightest contact before every cell was ablaze.
John's mouth latched onto Rodney's neck, kissing, licking, biting. It was almost more than Rodney could handle, his hands pawing at John's shoulders. John reached out and stroked the rough pad of his thumb across the sensitive flesh of Rodney's nipple. A wave of pleasure rippled through Rodney, making him want more. His hands pushed down.
John lips abandoned Rodney's neck and trailed lower. His wet tongue dragged once, twice, three times against Rodney's nipple. Rodney moaned, couldn't stop from squirming when John started to suckle. This was nice, very nice actually, but it wasn't where he wanted John's mouth.
"John," he whined.
John let go, he rested more of his weight on Rodney, curled his hands around Rodney's, locking their fingers together and moving them to either side of Rodney's head.
John looked down at Rodney's face, breathing rough. Then something flashed in John eyes, need and desire so strong that Rodney's body went lax. John grunted and plunged his mouth down to Rodney's. He kissed him savagely, hands tightening around Rodney's.
Much too soon, one of John's hands let go. Rodney whined into the kiss, wanting it back. John's mouth lifted. "You'll like this," he guaranteed as he raised his chest up, taking the hand that was still entwined with Rodney's and bringing it to their groins. He lined their cocks up and wrapped Rodney's hand around their erections. John's hand covered Rodney's, leading him up and down, guiding him to spread out their combined pre-come.
Rodney saw his thicker pale hand under John's thinner, darker one, the contrast of color seeming to hypnotize him. He watched as they moved up and down over and over again, their pre-come mixing together.
John's name ran through Rodney's mind, an endless loop until John became the sole focus of Rodney's world. Nothing else existed, only John, surrounding him, engulfing him.
Rodney forced his eyes away, staring at the ceiling and hoping it would cool him down. It didn't work, having John with him, touching him, only made him burn hotter, ready to combust any second.
"John!" Rodney cried out as he erupted; back arching, cock spasming, coming over both their hands and abdomens.
John stiffened above him, adding to the mess on Rodney's stomach.
John collapsed on Rodney, but Rodney didn't mind. He didn't want to move, didn't want either of them to move, he wanted to stay like this, just the two of them, all day.
Neither of them said anything for a long time. Finally Rodney asked, "What happens now?"
"Whatever you want," John said, his face open yet tentative before lowering to rest on Rodney's shoulder.
He ran a hand down John's sweaty back, thinking it over, but the answer was simple. "I want you," he rasped and felt John smile against his skin .
Maybe there was something to this faith thing after all.
Author: silverraven11
Recipient: reddwarfer, who wanted a McShep AU.
Pairing: John/Rodney, Jeannie/Kaleb
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~18,000
Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers: SG-1 5.14 48 Hours
Author's Notes: Infinite thanks to my beta kisahawklin for handholding, cheerleading, editing, and for sticking with me and this fic. If this story is at all enjoyable, it's because of her. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Summary: When Rodney first met Captain John Sheppard, his world was turned upside down. Now, years later, John has breezed back into Rodney's life. The problem? He won't breeze back out.
( Objects In The Rear View Mirror (Are Closer Than They Appear) - Part 1 of 2 )
In the following weeks, Sheppard's behavior befuddled Rodney. Sheppard and he were hardly ever alone together, Sheppard preferring to spend his time with Elizabeth and others on Rodney's staff. More than once Rodney caught Sheppard looking over Radek's shoulders but he never got anywhere near Rodney. That wasn't to say he ignored Rodney or never spoke with him, quite the opposite. Sheppard was perfectly professional with him, he wasn't rude or malicious. Their discussions never got personal, Sheppard's manners impeccable, his face devoid of any emotion. He only raised an eyebrow when Rodney berated his staff and when Rodney turned his tirade on Sheppard? Nothing. No come backs, no insults, no yelling back.
Last Friday, Rodney had been accepting his change from the cashier at the pizzeria across the street from work and turned towards the exit when a distinct long-forgotten laugh stopped him in his tracks. He turned his head in the direction the noise came from and sure enough, there was Sheppard laughing his ass off with both Simpson and Dumais sitting across from him and... Carson seated beside him?!
Without thought, Rodney stomped to their table and addressed the female scientists harshly, "Shouldn't you two be working?"
"It's called lunch, Rodney," Sheppard replied good-naturedly, lazily smiling at his companions.
"Lunch is an hour long, I believe these two are well over that now."
Sheppard opened his mouth. Here it comes, Rodney thought excitedly, Sheppard's going to tell him his being too harsh or call him a slave driver or or... "That's probably my fault. They were just finishing when I joined them - I didn't want to eat alone," he said coyly, grinning rakishly at the ladies.
The two women giggled. "We really should be going though," Simpson said, standing and Dumais followed. See you laters were exchanged all around and promises of future lunches (Rodney rolled his eyes, so very bored) and they finally left.
Rodney was about to leave himself when Carson glowered, "That wasn't very nice, Rodney."
"I'm not a nice man," he said and Carson made the face he always did when Rodney said that, like he knew something Rodney didn't.
"Well, don't just stand there, you daft bugger, seat down."
Rodney sat and then blinked in surprise at how quickly he followed Carson's command. He shrugged and dug into his pepperoni pizza.
"John here was just tell-" it was John now, was it? Rodney scowled. "...his own jet."
"Jet?" Rodney asked, realizing he had missed what Carson had said.
Sheppard nodded. "Pratt & Whitney JT15 engine, 3190 pounds of thrust," he informed smugly, still smiling but the warmth in his eyes left when Rodney had sat down. "Fastest personal jet in the world."
Oh, he was talking about The AeroTech Maverick that was introduced two years ago. You would think he would be over the whole 'fastest personal tin can' aspect by now.
"I fly it here every Thursday night. Takes off like a dream..." Sheppard continued on about his plane but Rodney no longer paid attention, letting the words wash over him. Instead he focused on the man himself. Sheppard had an almost dream-like expression, his hands waving around in animation, the years seeming to disappear from his face. He looked exactly like he did when Rodney had asked him why he loved flying so very long ago.
Maybe some things don't change - Rodney stiffened, banishing the idea immediately.
Carson's ringing cell phone interrupted Sheppard's chatter. "Sorry, lads. I have to get back," Carson apologized after he answered the call.
"Sure. Talk to you later, doc," Sheppard said and Rodney waved a quick goodbye as Carson left.
An air of awkwardness settled over the two men remaining and after a long moment, Rodney asked, "Your wife doesn't mind you leaving her once a week?"
"I'm not married." Sheppard lifted his left hand and wiggled his ring finger as if to prove it.
There was no ring, Rodney hadn't bothered to look before. It was easier for him to think of Sheppard as married, unavailable. "I wasn't very good at it. Didn't make it two years before she..." Sheppard trailed off and took a small bite out of his cheese pizza. "So Dr. Z was telling me that you've made a lot of progress this week."
Rodney snapped, suddenly sick of it, sick of Sheppard. The way his face turned blank anytime Rodney was near. The way he easily made friends with those closest to Rodney. How he was always so polite with Rodney, like Rodney was a goddamn stranger. Rodney wanted some kind of reaction, some proof that he wasn't the only one feeling like he was slowly ripping apart at the seams.
He wanted something, anything was better then this forced civility. "She left you, huh? I can't say I'm surprised." Rodney turned callous eyes to Sheppard, wanting to savor this. "Only that it took her so long before she wised up."
Sheppard immediately stiffened, hurt blazing across his face. Rodney's triumph only lasted a moment, Sheppard's face shifted blank again rapidly. With an unruffled voice and terse smile, he said, "Enjoy the rest of your lunch, McKay," and walked away.
"Rodney?" Radek's voice jarred Rodney back into the present.
"What?" He looked up from his computer and watched Radek warily approach his desk, datapad in hand.
"I wish to speak with you about the McAllen account."
"Yes, what about it?" Rodney asked impatiently, agitated that Radek wasn't just getting to the point. He had completed the specs on an updated lightweight backpacker's stove that McAllen Sporting Goods had wanted and handed it off to Radek to add the finishing touches earlier that day.
Radek replied, "Your design, it will not work," and gave the datapad to Rodney.
Rodney looked down at the numbers and pinpointed the error right away. "Yes, I see. I'll correct it. You can go now."
Radek narrowed his eyes at Rodney's dismissal. "That is not all." His tone and posture were no longer hesitant. "The dimensions you wrote are wrong."
Rodney glanced at the screen again. Damn it! Radek was right. It was a rookie mistake and they both knew it.
"You have not been yourself lately."
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm perfectly fine," Rodney said. As an afterthought he added softly, "What makes you say that?"
"It has been over a month and you are not even close to designing a functional cloak. The old Rodney would be almost done by now."
"While I appreciate your faith in my abilities, even I can't work faster than is humanly possible."
"It is John Sheppard, no?"
"What! Why would you... I couldn't care less about John Sheppard," he said, his voice not as strong and sure as he would have liked.
"I do not think so. I see the way you look at him, when you think no one is looking."
"And how would that be?"
"With longing." Radek eyes met Rodney's with a challenge in them, daring Rodney to contradict him.
"I don't!" Radek was wrong - wrong, wrong, wrong! Rodney took a deep breath, getting control of himself and stated coolly, "I don't want Sheppard."
Radek shrugged, his light blue eyes softening. "I worry about you, my friend. I fear your affections are not returned." Rodney didn't refute Radek, Sheppard's feelings for him were abundantly clear - he felt nothing. "And I do not wish to see you hurt," Radek finished.
Rodney glanced away for a moment, reining in his thoughts. Then he met Radek's gaze dead on and spoke in a voice that left no room for doubt, "You have nothing to worry about, Radek. I never make the same mistake twice."
~ ~ ~ ~
Rodney made his way to the conference room, laptop tucked underneath one arm and coffee cup in the other. He met up with Sheppard a few feet from the doorway and they exchanged a clipped nod before entering.
Dr. Weir and Radek were already there, sitting side by side, deep in conversation. Not good. In all the previous meetings, Sheppard and Elizabeth sat on one side of the table and Rodney and Radek on the other.
Rodney watched as Sheppard took a chair opposite Elizabeth and for an instant thought of sitting next to Radek or a chair away from Sheppard but realizing that he was indeed an adult, parked himself next to Sheppard.
"Ah, good, everyone's here. Why don't we have Dr. Zelenka start this week."
Rodney listed to Radek's spiel for a few minutes before he unconsciously took a sideways glimpse at Sheppard. The man was casually slouching back; the only thing needed to complete the image was for Sheppard to put his feet up. Honestly, he had the most atrocious posture of anyone Rodney knew. He was frequently lounging about and would...lean on things. There wasn't a wall or surface that Sheppard hadn't rested his damn lithe hips against, not that Rodney was keeping track or anything. They were stupid hips anyway, too bony for Rodney's liking.
Rodney refocused his concentration to Radek, straightening his back and taking a deep breath - only to realize too late what a big mistake that was. Sheppard's cologne hit his system out of nowhere, but it was what lay underneath it that tore at Rodney. Joh- Sheppard's! - own unique scent, a hint of woodiness that was so familiar to Rodney he couldn't help taking another whiff. The urge to get closer, to envelope himself in that smell was nearly overpowering.
"-dney?" Elizabeth's voice snapped Rodney back to attention.
"Wha... Yes?" Rodney answered, switching his gaze to her, unable to look at Radek's far too perceptive eyes.
"Are you feeling alright, Rodney?" Elizabeth inquired worriedly. "You looked a bit, uh... peaked."
"I'm fine. Now, I'm made some modifications to the design that I believe you'll like," Rodney said, opening his laptop and explaining his adjustments.
Once the meeting ended, Elizabeth and Sheppard left together while Rodney shut down his laptop. When the screen went black, Rodney headed out only to be stopped by Radek placing his hand on Rodney's shoulder.
Radek opened his mouth, but Rodney was faster, "I know what you're going to say so just don't, okay?"
"I was only going to ask if you would like to go see the new X-Men movie."
"Oh." Relief swept through Rodney, not wanting another lecture on his supposed affections for Sheppard. Any fondness he might have had for John Sheppard was dead and buried in the past. "Yeah, I would like that. Just let me finish up a few things and we can go."
"Sure." Radek took off in the direction of their offices. Rodney was about to follow when he considered that maybe Carson would like to go too. He made a quick about face and set off to find him.
He was walking past Dr. Weir's office when he heard her say, "Ready?" Rodney assumed she was speaking to him and peeked in, but she was talking to Sheppard.
"Yup. Anyplace in particular you want to go?" Sheppard asked while putting on his jacket.
"I was thinking Italian."
Sheppard zipped up and reached for Elizabeth's coat. "Never could say no to a good lasagna."
He held out the garment for Elizabeth to slip into.
"Thank you, John," Elizabeth said warmly, her eyes doting and Rodney's jaw dropped in disbelief.
"You know me, always happy to help." Sheppard smiled flirtatiously and Rodney's blood ran cold.
He barely remembered returning to his office, body moving automatically. He closed the door, propping himself against the wooden structure.
How the hell could he have missed something this big? Rodney's mind flashed through these past two months, wondering when their romance started. He remembered Elizabeth inviting everyone to dinner that first week or two but after that? Rodney couldn't recall, but there had definitely been no invites the past few times. Come to think of it, that was also about when they started calling each other by their first names. Okay, so about a month - long enough for them to be sleeping together. Rodney knees wobbled, about to give out, but he managed to make it to his desk chair before collapsing.
Rodney didn't know why he found the idea of them so shocking, Elizabeth had been enamored with Sheppard since meeting him. And Sheppard? Well, Elizabeth was beautiful and smart and wonderful... and a man would have to be a fool to say no to her.
Rodney's head fall back against his chair and groaned. He could just picture it: Sheppard big, warm palm curled around Elizabeth's neck, holding her as they kissed. Or, God, her long, pale legs wrapped around Sheppard's jagged hips as he pounded into her willing body again and again.
Rodney swallowed, pushing down the bile that threatened to come up.
What the heck was wrong with him? What should it matter to him what those two did together? They were adults, two consenting adults that could do whatever they pleased. They could go fuck like bunnies for all Rodney cared.
This was fine. Perfectly. Fine.
~ ~ ~ ~
It was late on Friday night, way later than even Rodney usually stayed. Rodney was staving, he hadn't eaten dinner but that didn't matter, he'd done it. Well almost, he just had to double check some equations.
A few minutes later it all checked out (as if there was ever any doubt). He was finished... a whole three weeks before the deadline, ha! Rodney was feeling quite pleased with himself when he heard a noise. He looked up, saw nothing and then looked down at his watch, almost midnight. When he looked up again he might have yelped (a teeny tiny one) when he saw Sheppard standing in his doorway.
Today was the first day Sheppard wore jeans; they rode low on his hips and Rodney found his traitorous eyes staring at them all day, how soft they looked, hugging him in all the right places.
His jacket was off, slung carelessly over one arm and he had rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt. Rodney was failing miserably at not staring... at his arm hair or chest hair, or at any part of John Sheppard, for the matter. Was it asking too much for him to button his stupid collar?
"Hi. Forgot my briefcase." And sure enough, there it was on the floor by one of Rodney's file cabinets. Sheppard leaned down to retrieve it, and as he bent over his jeans stretched, giving Rodney a perfect view of his ass. It wasn't much of one but Rodney couldn't help remembering the first time he'd seen it.
"Oh my god! You do have an ass," he'd shrieked in amazement. John had given him a dirty look before he jumped on Rodney, sending them both crashing onto the bed. Rodney shook his head, trying to clear out the unwanted memory.
Sheppard was just straightening, black shirt falling back down, covering the glimpse of tan skin. Rodney was feeling hot; the heating system must have turned on.
"You're here late," Sheppard commented, facing Rodney now.
"Normally, yes, but I have a good reason. How did you get in here?"
"Security let me in."
"Oh. Well, um, I'm finished," Rodney said, smiling proudly.
"With what?"
Rodney stood up, made his way over to the other man, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, smile growing. "With my design. It's all ready for you to build."
Sheppard wasn't sharing Rodney's excitement; in fact, Rodney couldn't read his face at all. "That's ah, great," he finally muttered.
"Yes, well it is," Rodney agreed, searching Sheppard's face until it clicked. "You didn't think I could do it." Wow, that hurt more than Rodney was expecting.
"What! No," Sheppard said quickly. "It's just... so soon?"
"Oh. Um... yeah I'm..." Rodney didn't know what to say, he thought Sheppard would be thrilled. Rodney turned around, walked over to his desk, picked up his blueprints and gave them to Sheppard.
Who looked them over for a few minutes before saying, "It looks good." He looked at Rodney then and judging by his next comment Rodney must not be doing a good job of hiding the hurt on his face, "Really. They're incredible."
"Oh, yes. Well of course, this is me we're talking about." Yet Rodney was flushing, becoming redder when Sheppard just kept on studying him.
"I want to offer you a job," Sheppard finally said.
Rodney furrowed his brows in confusion. "I don't understand."
"I want you to come work for me, Rodney. As my chief engineer and researcher." Sheppard's face was blank but his eyes were watching Rodney intently.
Rodney wasn't sure what to say, his earlier good mood falling away. He settled for, "I already have a job."
Sheppard's face hardened and his back straightened. "Don't play dumb with me, McKay, you can't pull it off. It's a better position, twice the salary. You'll have your own office and lab, you won't just be designing, you'll be building too."
Rodney's ears perked up, his own lab? That sounded... rather nice actually. Plus, he missed using his hands for something other than writing. The idea of actually building that cloak and everything else Sheppard's company could offer him was tempting, but one question lingered for him. "Why?"
"You're the best, with you on board AeroTech will reach number one in no time," Sheppard replied easily, returning the designs to Rodney's desk.
"So this is all about beating the competition?" Rodney asked, his hope falling. He was a fool to think Sheppard wanted him for something other than his brain.
"Of course," Sheppard replied quickly. "Well, what do you say?"
I'm a complete idiot. For a brief moment Rodney had thought Sheppard might be offering for another reason, but why would he? He had Elizabeth now. Besides even if Sheppard was, Rodney would still say no... wouldn't he?
That's when Rodney realized what this whole undertaking had really been about. It had all been fake, from the very beginning. The fact that Sheppard oversaw the project himself, all those questions he asked, had given him a near impossible task. It had all been a test. He felt his blood begin to boil.
"I can't accept," Rodney said snidely.
He saw something flash in Sheppard eyes, but it was gone in a second. His voice was blank as he asked, "Why?"
"I can't leave Catalyst, they need me too much." It was true, many of their clients stayed because of him. Also, how could he even think about doing that to Elizabeth?
"I'll give you more money, pay the relocation costs."
"It's not about the money!" Rodney roared.
"Don't lie to me," Sheppard snarled, gripping Rodney's shoulders. "It's always about the money."
A small part of Rodney wondered what happened to make Sheppard believe that, but he didn't ask. "It's not, I'm not. What the fuck is wrong with you? Let me go." Rodney struggled but Sheppard only tightened his hold.
Sheppard clenched his jaw, spine more rigid than Rodney'd ever seen it. "I'll triple your salary."
Rodney's face turned red in fury. "I don't want your money!" he screeched.
"Then what do you want?!" Sheppard shouted, appearing exasperated.
"You!" Rodney exclaimed before his brain could stop him.
Sheppard yanked Rodney to him. "I knew it," he whispered coldly into Rodney face before crushing their mouths together. Rodney's body responded instantly, it had been so long. So.Very. Long. His body was craving it, demanding it, aching for it. Sheppard's touch, Sheppard's mouth, Sheppard's cock.
Rodney had been waiting ten years for this. He's been imaging this: John kissing him again, holding him again, wanting him again.
But not like this.
Sheppard wasn't giving him an inch. The kiss was cruel; Sheppard's demanding tongue pushing hard into Rodney's mouth, his body firm and unbending against Rodney.
Rodney tensed and pushed back. The kiss turned angry and raw, tongues and teeth clashing, a battle for dominance that he couldn't lose. It was out of control and violent and Rodney was unsure whether he wanted to shove Sheppard away or beg him never to stop.
Rodney slide his hands over Sheppard's back, clawing the skin underneath the thin fabric. Sheppard's callous hands made their own path, down to Rodney's hips and forced him backwards until he hit the large desk.
Rodney grunted from the impact, the top of his desk pressing hard into the back of his thighs, but they didn't stop kissing. Teeth still nipped too harshly, a faint taste of blood, tongues still battling for supremacy.
Sheppard's fingers made quick work of Rodney's pants, drew Rodney's dick out and Rodney gasped, his head involuntary falling back as Sheppard started pumping. Sheppard's mouth lowered to Rodney's exposed throat, teeth scraping along the vulnerable area.
Sheppard's hand continued its assault, exerting just the right amount of pressure, moving at the perfect speed, making sure to hit all the right spots. How the fuck could Sheppard possibly remember how best to jerk him off?
Rodney let out a long, loud moan, relaxing his body minutely, arching his head further back and felt the lifting of Sheppard's lips in a victorious smirk against his neck.
Oh, hell no.
With more strength than Rodney thought he had, he flung Sheppard off and hauled him against the wall, crashing their mouths together again and using his broader shoulders to keep Sheppard immobile.
He fingers flow to Sheppard's fly, felt the wetness there and his hips gave an unconscious jerk. Sheppard's impatient groan had Rodney giving another, and another, his hips snapping back and forth as Sheppard rutted against his thigh. The underside of Rodney's cock was being rubbed almost painfully by the harsh material but it only fueled Rodney's lust.
They grinded and grunted their way to orgasm, Rodney pulsing hot and sticky on both their bellies and - hot damn - he had made Sheppard come in his pants!
The smug grin on Rodney's face evaporated when he realized he was standing there with his flaccid dick hanging out. Hastily, Rodney moved back and turned, shuffling his cock in and zipping up his corduroys. Sheppard came in behind him, hands curling around the sides of Rodney's waist.
"Fuck, that was hot," Sheppard said into Rodney's ear, his cheek nuzzling Rodney's jaw. Rodney's eyes half closed, wanting so bad to lean into the other man's warm body, rest his head on Sheppard's shoulders. "Just think, once you move to Seattle we can do this whenever you want." Rodney's eyes widened. When he moved? He'd never agreed. "Can't wait until I'm back in that gorgeous ass," Sheppard told, squeezing said ass.
Rodney practically jumped away. Was that what this was all about? Sheppard just wanted an ass to fuck? Did Elizabeth not go for butt-fucking? Rodney thought venomously, rage and hurt simultaneously sweeping through him. When would he learn to stop trusting John Sheppard?
Rodney rolled up his blueprints and made sure there was no emotion in his voice when he said, "For the last time - I don't want your job."
When Sheppard didn't reply, Rodney blanked his face and squared his shoulders before turning around.
There was something in Sheppard's eyes that Rodney couldn't read, disappointment maybe? Well, too bad, guess he'll have to find some other chump to fuck. "I want you to leave. For good."
Sheppard searched his face, but he stood firm under the scrutiny, chin lifting. Sheppard eventually grabbed the bundled drawings, shoulders sagging and nodded curtly before leaving.
It was only after Rodney closed the door that he allowed his knees to give out. He slid down to the floor, legs bending until his chin could rest on his knees.
Damn it... and damn you. Damn you, John Sheppard. Damn you to hell.
~ ~ ~ ~
That weekend had been a hellish one for Rodney. The more he thought about Sheppard, the angrier he got. He couldn't wait for Monday, for his dealings with Sheppard to come to an end. If he never saw him again, it would be too soon.
When Monday did finally arrive, it wasn't what Rodney was expecting. All morning the office had been abuzz. Apparently there was some big company-wide meeting scheduled for eleven o'clock. No one knew what it was about, but Elizabeth wanted to meet privately with him and Carson before it started.
Rodney was unsurprised to find Sheppard leaning against the wall in Elizabeth's office. She invited him and Carson to take a seat before saying, "I wanted the two of you to know first. As of one hour ago, AeroTech bought Catalyst Consulting."
Rodney gasped. "Elizabeth -"
She put up a hand. "Let me finish Rodney, then we can discuss it." Elizabeth continued on for awhile longer, mainly telling them what a wonderful company AeroTech was and how this was a great opportunity for everyone. Mr. Sheppard had graciously offered everyone at Catalyst a job at twice the salary with all relocation costs paid.
If Rodney was angry at Sheppard before, it was nothing compared to the all-out fury that ran through him now. Rodney knew the majority of his co-workers wouldn't go. They had their families here, their friends, their lives were here. Those people would be out of a job, a damn good one. All because Sheppard just couldn't accept Rodney refusing to work for him. Did Sheppard even care about those people? No, of course not, Rodney thought. He wasn't naive, he understood the only way companies became hugely successful was by eliminating the competition. For Sheppard's company to become number two in U.S., Sheppard must have ruined a lot of other people's lives.
And now? Now he was doing whatever he had to insure his company would be number one. Rodney waited until Elizabeth had finished and looked to him for comment. He smiled at her, not unkindly, before standing and turning to his new boss. "I quit."
He marched out of Elizabeth's office and into his own, grabbing a small shipping box that was laying around from this morning's deliveries and started taking down his diploma's from wall behind his desk.
When there was a knock on his door a few minutes later, he prayed it wasn't Sheppard.
"Rodney," Elizabeth's soft voice came to him.
"No," Rodney said, shaking his head. "Don't Rodney me. How could you do th- how could you let him do this?"
Elizabeth sighed and closed the door. "I didn't let him to anything. I asked him to buy Catalyst."
If Rodney thought he was shocked earlier, it was nothing compared to the way he was completely stunned now. "What? Why?"
Elizabeth looked around Rodney's office for a short time before sitting down. It was then Rodney noticed how worn-out she looked. Dark circles under her eyes, pale cheeks, shoulders scrunched as if she had the weight of the world on them.
"This past year, it's been - even with the AeroTech contract, it's not enough. I - that is..." In all the years he's known her, Rodney's never heard her at a loss for words before. "A couple weeks ago the President called me. He offered me a position. Head of the SGC."
"Wow," Rodney said, plopping down in the chair opposite Elizabeth. "Wow, that's... amazing. I'm happy for you."
"Yeah?" she asked, looking up from the hands in her lap to stare at him.
He nodded. "Of course - wait, you accepted the position, didn't you? You'd have to be crazy not to."
"I-" Elizabeth blinked. "Not officially, but yes, I'm going to."
They shared a look, communicating silently, hopeful and nervous about the future. Saying goodbye.
"That's not all," she said, "you and Carson, the IOA wants you both at the Antarctica base."
Rodney scrunched up his face in distaste. "Is Kavanagh still in charge of the science team?"
"Yes, he is, but Rodney this -"
"I don't care," he interrupted, standing up. "No way I am working with that quack again, least of all under him."
"Believe me, I don't like him very much either."
"Then fire him."
Elizabeth chuckled, getting up and facing Rodney. "I'll see what I can do, but the IOA appointed him, it'll take me time to convince them I know someone much better for the job. Any thoughts on what you're going to do until then? John told me about the position he offered you."
Rodney frowned at the mention of his name. "I'm not working for him," he said, crossing his arms and lifting his chin.
"All right," Elizabeth agreed easily. "There're a lot of engineering firms in Seattle, I'm sure any one of them would love to have you."
"You bet your ass they would," he mumbled, then, "wait, why do you want me to go to Seattle? Why would you want me anywhere near your boyfriend?"
Elizabeth glanced at Rodney for a beat before releasing a quick burst of laughter. "John's not my boyfriend, Rodney. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Well, he and then... you." Rodney flushed, hands waving about, not thinking very clearly. Not her boyfriend? So they weren't? "The way you sometimes look at him..."
Elizabeth looked down, coughed. "I'll admit maybe in the beginning I - but," she suddenly looked up, meeting Rodney's eyes, "it soon became pretty clear I wasn't the one he wanted."
"What are you saying?" No way was she saying what he thought she was saying.
"I'm saying go to Seattle, Rodney, or better yet, go talk to him right now. He'll be here for a few more hours."
Rodney took a deep breath. "I can't. What if it doesn't - what if he... I can't go through it again." He knew he was fidgeting, but he couldn't help it, looking every which way except at Elizabeth.
"Rodney," she said, placing a gentle palm on his shoulder. "Sometimes you just have to have a little faith."
He rolled his eyes. "You know I'm an atheist."
~ ~ ~ ~
He had no idea what he was doing here, sitting in some rented car in the parking lot adjacent to AeroTech.
How in the hell did he always let Carson talk him into these things?
It had been the night after he had quit, Rodney answering his doorbell and not the least bit surprised to find Carson there, six-pack in hand.
The guy really wasn't so bad, if you don't count his lapse of judgment in picking voodoo for a profession.
"You going to Antarctica?" he asked after they had settled on the couch, TV on low, set on a hockey game that Rodney had been watching but not following, his mind elsewhere.
"Aye," Carson answered frowning. "Haven't told my mum yet, it's so far and she-"
"She'll be fine, Carson, she's a grown woman. What is she, like eighty now?"
"She's sixty-three," he said with a glare at Rodney.
Rodney shrugged, he could hardly be expected to remember random peoples ages.
"What about you, Rodney? What are you going to do?"
He looked down at the top of his beer can. "Still deciding."
They watched the game for a few minutes before Carson turned off the TV. "You look like a lost puppy, did you know that? Heck, you're been walking around with your tail between your legs for weeks now. How about you tell me what's going on, what happened between you and John?"
"Carson," he warned.
"Not this time, Rodney. I've known ye for too long." His accent thickening like it always did when he was upset or angry. "Ye were together once, ye cared about him once, that's as plain as day. Tell me wha' happened. Ye'll nee get rid of me till ye do."
He glared at Carson, Carson glared back before Rodney finally nodded and finished his beer in four huge gulps. He was reaching for another one when he started talking. He told Carson everything, well almost everything, he left out the sex details. When he finished, Carson stared at him for a long moment.
"Nothing's ever simple with you, is it?"
Rodney laughed, unable to help myself. "You going to give me advice or what?"
Carson's eyes were filled with mischief when he said, "And why would I do that, ye've never asked me for it."
"Never stopped you before."
"Point." He took a drink of his beer. He was still working on his first can. The man was such a lightweight. "You won't like it though."
"I repeat: never stopped you before."
Carson shifted, broadening out his shoulders like he was preparing himself for battle. "All right then, you need to see him again, talk to him. Tell him everything that you just told me."
Rodney felt his mouth curving downwards. "You're right, I don't like it."
"You need closure. It's obvious you never got over him." Rodney opened his mouth, about to contradict his friend, when Carson hushed him and continued, "You just think you have. You've buried your feelings so far deep inside you that it was easy to pretend they weren't there. But you should've done the opposite."
"The opposite?"
"Aye, let them go." Carson said it so simply, so straight-forward, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do.
Yeah right.
"And how am I supposed to do that?" Rodney asked.
"By talking with John."
So here he was, two weeks later. For the past twenty minutes he had reached for the door handle repeatedly only to pull his hand away. With a huff of disgust at himself, he opened the door, vowing to never listen to Carson again when he got back to Chicago.
He walked the short distance to the entrance and took a couple of steps before a sharp-eyed, muscular man blocked his path.
"Er...hi. I'm, uh, Doctor Rodney McKay," he squeaked out. The man's face was set in a deep scowl, his badge read: Eugene Bates, head of security.
"What's are you-" Bates started to say but was interrupted by a loud, "Rodney?"
It was Radek, thank god.
He'd never been happier to see Radek in his life. "Yes, yes, here I am. Just like you asked me to," Rodney answered as Radek made his way over to them.
"I asked you to?" Radek echoed, disbelief in his voice.
Rodney glared at him, "Yes. Don't you remember, you wanted my help, practically begged for my assistance."
"I did no such thi- " but Radek didn't finish as Rodney's eyes pleaded with him. Instead, "Tebe být zavázán mne dobrý...Oh, of course, help with the, the eh..."
"Yes, yes. Well we should be going," Rodney said quickly grabbing Radek's arms and walking toward the elevators. It seemed like Radek was a worse liar than he was.
"I'm watching you, McKay," Bates threatened as Rodney got into the elevator.
"What are you really doing here?" Radek asked once the elevator doors closed.
"I need to see Sheppard," Rodney answered hoping that would be enough to satisfy Radek. Of course it wasn't.
"Why?"
"None of your business. Look will you just show me where his office is?" Rodney barked.
Radek took a deep breath, studied Rodney for a long moment, and then pushed the button to the top floor.
"Thank you," Rodney mumbled.
Radek nodded and when the doors pinged open he said, "Last door down the hallway, you can't miss it."
With a last look at Radek, Rodney walked out, stopping when he stood in front of two wide wooden doors.
Rodney swallowed and straightened his shoulders before reaching for the handle and pushing one door open. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
Sheppard's office was huge, although it didn't have a lot in it: a couch on one side of it, a couple of filling cabinets, two chairs in front of a massive wooden desk with floor to ceiling windows behind it. Sheppard's desk wasn't much better, a laptop, a few pieces of paper, and a - no, it couldn't be - Rodney quickly assured himself that they were plenty of green travel mugs in the world.
Even ones that have the logo of the Canadian Space Agency on it, half rubbed off but still visible. There is absolutely no way Sheppard would have kept the thing, not after so long.
Rodney looked at the man sitting behind that desk. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt, collar unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow, leaning back in his chair, smirking at Rodney.
"Finally come to your senses?" Sheppard asked coldly.
It was the cruel smile, the harshness in Sheppard's face, the 'oh-so-casual' slouch, the condescending attitude that set Rodney off. All his anger came rushing back to him, all-out rage slamming through his body. He positively loathed John Sheppard.
"I didn't come here for the job," he remarked, his voice equally as callous. "Jesus Christ Sheppard, you're the biggest asshole I've ever met! You go around pretending to be Mr. Nice Guy, all smiles, but it's all an act, you're ruthless and manipulative." He couldn't stop the words from coming out, he didn't want to. It was the truth, and it felt damn good to say them to Sheppard's face.
"I hate you, Sheppard, I don't want to work for you, I don't want you at all." He should leave right now, just walk out the door and never come back but he couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. "I want my John back."
Fuck. He hadn't meant to say that.
The words hang in the air, Sheppard deathly still, a gobsmacked expression on his face.
Rodney thought he probably didn't look much better himself.
Sheppard rose out his chair slowly. "You always had him," he said slowly, carefully.
"Oh please," Rodney said, not buying it. "I saw you that night at the bar, saw you with that redhead, kissing her."
"Nothing happened. It was just one kiss, besides I wasn't the one that cheated first. Tell me something McKay, did you wait at all?" he asked, advancing toward Rodney, his face turning cold again. "Or were you off fucking some woman the second I left your door?"
"You bastard. How dare you? I thought about you every day. Every fucking day. Plotting how I could get you assigned to Area 51, fantasizing about-" Rodney stopped abruptly, not wanting to tell Sheppard how truly pathetic he'd been. That he'd read everything he could find on gay sex, practiced on bananas until he could swallow without choking, waiting for the day John returned so he could fall to his knees and give him a proper blow job, not the few lame attempts of before.
Sheppard let out a disbelieving snort. "You sure had a funny way of showing it then."
"What are you talking about?!" Rodney was the injured party here. Sheppard raised his hand, looking like he wanted nothing more than to strangle Rodney, but settled instead, the arm falling away. His whole body seemed to deflate as he went to his window and looked out. He took a deep breath, his back to Rodney.
"What else was I supposed to think?" Rodney strained to hear Sheppard's words, but he didn't move closer. "You were hardly writing to me anymore, what you did send was - it was all about... Sam Carter," Sheppard said her name disdainfully, like a curse. "I messed up. I was trying to - I watched... I called you the second I came back, left a message, almost beg- you didn't come."
Oh God, he hadn't known, he hadn't even thought. Rodney's head was swimming, trying to process the new information. "I never got your message," he said, but Sheppard didn't seem to hear him, lost in his own memories.
Rodney noticed that Sheppard's whole body was slumped, his head down, resting against the glass, as if all the fight had gone out of him. Rodney couldn't help closing the distance between them, but when he was only a foot away, he paused.
"I didn't get that message, my cat she broke the machine before I came home. I would - nothing would've kept me away," Rodney's words were almost like a plea for Shep- no John, it was John, he would always be John - to hear.
John's shoulders stiffened. "Bullshit, McKay. I heard all about the two of you at Peterson, I went to her talk, saw the way you looked at her, saw you having dinner with her. You couldn't take your damn eyes off her."
Rodney shook his head, John had it all wrong. Rodney was terrified of messing this up, he's never been good with people, but he couldn't help moving his hand to John's shoulder - which was the wrong thing to do.
John had him pinned against the wall in a heartbeat, knocking the breath out of Rodney's lungs, his hands holding Rodney's wrists on either side of Rodney's head. "What, McKay? You gonna tell me it wasn't true, that I imagined it all," he snarled, breath hot against Rodney's face.
"Yes! You fucking moron." Okay, so maybe calling John a moron right now wasn't the smartest thing Rodney'd ever done, but he wasn't taking it back. He had to get through that thick skull. "I never got your message. Sam and I are friends, that's all. I never wanted her, never wanted anyone, not like I want you."
Rodney looked into John's eyes then, his anger gone replaced by so many other emotions that Rodney couldn't recognize them all. Rodney saw torment in their golden green depths and that had Rodney's insides churning.
"John," he said, "I've waited ten years for you."
"Jesus," John muttered before closing the distance between them.
The instant John lips touched his it was like liquid fire poured from him to Rodney. Heat licked at Rodney, scorched him, consumed him. Rodney melted against John, reveling at each swipe of John's warm tongue against his.
John's scent filled Rodney's nostrils - he smelled like home. Rodney's hands crept up around John's neck, his fingers sliding into the silky thickness of John's hair.
When John's lips abandoned his, Rodney moaned in protest, until the drag of Sheppard's tongue down the length of his neck transformed the sound to one of pleasure. He clutched John's head, urging him on, tilting his own head.
John's hands grabbed the bottom of Rodney's shirt, pulling it up. Rodney took a deep breath, sucking in his gut before raising his arms, letting it out when he saw only desire in John's eyes.
His fingers went to unbutton John's shirt and then tugged it off, only to gape at John's chest - muscled, tanned skin covered by wisps of dark curls, just the beginning of a rounded belly. He couldn't resist combing his fingers through the fine hair.
John's lips were on his again, his hands unzipping Rodney's pants, causing Rodney's breath to hitch. John broke away, bending to remove Rodney's shoes, socks, not stopping until he had Rodney completely naked. Rodney shivered, goosebumps covering his skin, whether it was from the chilly air or the intensity of John's eyes, he wasn't sure.
"John," Rodney whined.
John brushed his lips against Rodney's. "Get on the couch."
Rodney eyed the couch. It did look big and soft... and expensive. He grinned and made his way over, wondering if after this they would both have a kink for office sex. Made they already had one. He laid down and watched as John finished undressing. Still no tan lines, Rodney thought in amazement.
John strode over to the him, cock jutting out proudly. Rodney's mouth began to water.
John crawled over Rodney, kneeling between Rodney's legs, eyes sweeping over Rodney's body.
Rodney wrapped his legs around John's thighs, forcing John down. They both moaned at the first touch of skin against skin.
"Feels so good," John said huskily. He nibbled on Rodney's ear and Rodney made a purring noise. John made his way down to Rodney's neck, a hint of stubble scratching wonderfully at Rodney's skin.
Rodney felt like his body was kindling and John his match. Lying dormant, just waiting to be set fire to, only needing the lightest contact before every cell was ablaze.
John's mouth latched onto Rodney's neck, kissing, licking, biting. It was almost more than Rodney could handle, his hands pawing at John's shoulders. John reached out and stroked the rough pad of his thumb across the sensitive flesh of Rodney's nipple. A wave of pleasure rippled through Rodney, making him want more. His hands pushed down.
John lips abandoned Rodney's neck and trailed lower. His wet tongue dragged once, twice, three times against Rodney's nipple. Rodney moaned, couldn't stop from squirming when John started to suckle. This was nice, very nice actually, but it wasn't where he wanted John's mouth.
"John," he whined.
John let go, he rested more of his weight on Rodney, curled his hands around Rodney's, locking their fingers together and moving them to either side of Rodney's head.
John looked down at Rodney's face, breathing rough. Then something flashed in John eyes, need and desire so strong that Rodney's body went lax. John grunted and plunged his mouth down to Rodney's. He kissed him savagely, hands tightening around Rodney's.
Much too soon, one of John's hands let go. Rodney whined into the kiss, wanting it back. John's mouth lifted. "You'll like this," he guaranteed as he raised his chest up, taking the hand that was still entwined with Rodney's and bringing it to their groins. He lined their cocks up and wrapped Rodney's hand around their erections. John's hand covered Rodney's, leading him up and down, guiding him to spread out their combined pre-come.
Rodney saw his thicker pale hand under John's thinner, darker one, the contrast of color seeming to hypnotize him. He watched as they moved up and down over and over again, their pre-come mixing together.
John's name ran through Rodney's mind, an endless loop until John became the sole focus of Rodney's world. Nothing else existed, only John, surrounding him, engulfing him.
Rodney forced his eyes away, staring at the ceiling and hoping it would cool him down. It didn't work, having John with him, touching him, only made him burn hotter, ready to combust any second.
"John!" Rodney cried out as he erupted; back arching, cock spasming, coming over both their hands and abdomens.
John stiffened above him, adding to the mess on Rodney's stomach.
John collapsed on Rodney, but Rodney didn't mind. He didn't want to move, didn't want either of them to move, he wanted to stay like this, just the two of them, all day.
Neither of them said anything for a long time. Finally Rodney asked, "What happens now?"
"Whatever you want," John said, his face open yet tentative before lowering to rest on Rodney's shoulder.
He ran a hand down John's sweaty back, thinking it over, but the answer was simple. "I want you," he rasped and felt John smile against his skin .
Maybe there was something to this faith thing after all.